Seven months ... and he's gone. **UPDATE, post #1**

[DVC~OKW~96]

A seven month old child who could not lift his head off the mattress? Unless there were developmental difficulties, I find that very difficult to understand.

I hope the mother can find the strength to allow an autopsy so the parents will know what actually happened.

May she find some comfort somehow.

 

[BMNABrinx]

Sending up prayers for everyone touched by this tragedy but especially the family of this little one.

A few years ago, my DD's best friend's sister had a beautiful baby boy when she was just 17 years old. She was a very good mother at such a young age. Her life revolved around her little boy. One Saturday morning she went through their routine of feeding and bathing and then playing before putting him in his crib to play while she showered and got ready for work. In the few minutes that it took for her to get her shower he was gone. She thought he had fallen asleep until she noticed his coloring had changed and he wasn't breathing. He was a victim of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, unexplainable.

May God bless this family.

 

[surfergirl602]

I was told the baby rolled over onto his stomach but was unable to roll over to move from pushing his face on the mattress. No doubt he would've if he was not swaddled. So sad.

Oh my, prayers to everyone. So tragic. I would never swaddle a baby that old and mobile. Prayers for the mom.

 

[TinkerbelleAbbysMom]

So sorry to hear that. Just want to share, I am a nurse that works with preemies and other at risk babies. We ask our mom's at every visit how they put their babies down. Once the baby is old enough to roll over on their own, we will tell the parents to put them down on their backs but that it isn't necessary to wake them or turn them over. Like a pp stated, he should be able to lift his head. The latest research on SIDS is that there are 3 factors involved. One is the environmental stuff like exposure to second and third hand smoke, belly sleeping, not sleeping on an infant designed sleep surface, being overheated, etc. These things allow them or cause them to sleep deeper. Then there is the point of development they are in. It is most common in 2-4 mo boys (especially winter). Doctors feel this is b/c this is such a critical developmental period. As adults, we are awakened by our brain if for some reason (ie sleep apnea) our oxygen level drops. Our heart rate will speed up and our breathing picks up to increase our oxygen. In a young baby, there brain does not always recognize and interpret this signal appropriately. Then there is a third part of the triangle that they just don't understand. Unfortunately, SIDS is still not completely understood. Some countries have implemented things like wrapping the mattress in a special covering. Hopefully, with research they will begin to understand it more. What is more sad to me are the babies who do undergo autopsy and are diagnosed as accidental suffocation. I feel this is when the parents struggle more with what could they have done differently. I know of a family that was actually counseled against allowing a baby to sleep on his belly on a pillow and 12 hours from that point, his twin died. It was heartbreaking. Ruled accidental suffocation.
Either way, to the OP, please make sure this sweet family is connected with Compassionate Friends. This is a great support group for parents who lose children. Members of this group range from infant/perinatal deaths to children dying from various diseases.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

As horrible as it must be to lose a child, how in the world do you deal with the guilt?? How awful.

A guy where I work, lost his one month old around Thanksgiving. He wasn't in my dept and I didn't know the whole story until afterwards. He went out on leave and told his supervisor that he didn't want anyone to say anything about it when he got back. He was very upset. I guess there was more to this than anyone knew, he killed himself in Feb. The cops had been investigating the death and the baby was shaken to death. They were supposedly coming to the house to take him in when he shot himself. I guess the baby died in his care and he didn't really have any defense.

 

[scrump]

That is so sad. I'm so sorry for the family.

 

[Robinrs]

Update post #1.

 

[*BTMRR*]

This is sad beyond words.

I hope that the fact that she did not cause her child's death will ease the mom's pain a little. But as a mom myself I can imagine that I would still find a way to blame myself.

 

[happygirl]

How sad. Why in the world did she try to swaddle that big of baby?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Awww..poor mom and baby.

That's too bad about his heart disease. I wonder if they could have diagnosed that earlier so that she wouldn't lose him.

 

[robinb]

Thanks for the update. It's still very sad, but there must be a tiny bit of relief for your co-worker and her family that the baby died through no fault of her own. Of course, she will probably play the wouldna-coulda-shoulda game with missing the heart disease.

 

[TinkerbelleAbbysMom]

My question would be to the doctors and how that was missed. I would think in congenital heart defects there would be a symptom, especially by 7 months. Like poor feeding, unusual heart sounds, etc.
God Bless the family as they go through the grief.

 

[ols386]

That's so awful. My prayers for the family.

 

[TerriP]

My prayers are with your co-worker's family. Do you know if they are a faithful family, Robin? I hope so...I hope their faith will bring them comfort and strength.

 

[a1tinkfans]

My prayers are with your co-worker's family. Do you know if they are a faithful family, Robin? I hope so...I hope their faith will bring them comfort and strength.