I'm not normally one that would typically enjoy a solo vacation. In fact, until recently the thought of going on vacation without my DH would have seemed insane to me. However, I'm definitely starting to warm up to the idea of a solo vacation and Disney just seems like the perfect place. I believe I would feel reasonably safe (obviously with taking the usual travel precautions) and there is enough to do where I don't think that I would go bored/lonely and wishing the rest of the family was there.
I guess my problem is that right now, I'm still in the "would this be really selfish" phase of thinking? I don't want to feel guilty about going alone, but I really would love a week to myself.
Just to give you all some background on where I'm coming from, here is a little bit about me. I'm 35 and I've been married to my DH for almost 11 years. Although we don't have our own children we do have custody of our 14 year old nephew (more on this later). Our lives have been nothing if not chaotic and very emotionally draining for the last several years, starting all the way back in 2006. To give you all an idea of what my life has been like, here is a brief timeline of events:
April 2006- I had to have major surgery to remove a grapefruit sized fibroid tumor. Very painful surgery.
Sept 2006- my grandfather suddenly passed away. The day he died, we had eaten lunch with him. As we were saying our goodbyes we were making plans to play cards with my grandparents one night. 2 hours later he had a heart attach and died. No warning, no nothing. Papa was my hero and I loved him dearly. I still miss him terribly.
May 2007- my great aunt passed away. She was very old and frail but her loss was a huge blow to the family. She was just one of those people that pulled the family together. She is very missed by us all.
June 2007 - DH and I suffered a miscarriage. Presumably because of the scar tissue leftover from April 6 surgery.
Oct 2007- DH's mother suffered a stroke. Luckily she survived with relatively minor permanent damage. She was in rehab for months though to regain use of arms and legs. Also during this time, my sister began to have trouble using arms and legs.
Dec 2007- my only sister was officially diagnosed with MS. At the time, she was walking with a cane.
Jan 2008- Sisters condition began to rapidly declined. She was now in a wheel chair unable to walk,
Feb 2008- Sister totally bedridden
March 2008- Sister admitted to hospital. 4 days later my father suffered major cardiac arrest. He survived after being "shocked" 3 times on way to emergency room.
April 2008-Nov 2008- Sister officially diagnosed with rare form of MS. She was totally bed ridden, numerous bouts of pneumonia necessitated the use of a trach tube. She was unable to move or do anything for herself and was fed with a feeding tube. There was no quality of life at all. She spent several months at Johns Hopkins being treated by the best doctors in the world who tried everything that she could. She died in November 2008. Leaving behind 3 small children (2 with her current husband and one from a prior relationship). She was 28. (I miss her something terrible and sometimes I don't know how I can go through the rest of my life without her. She was my best friend, my rock. My life is very lonely without her).
Nov 2008- less than 2 weeks after my sister's death, the father of her oldest child had his lawyer send a letter that he was taking immediate custody of him. This man never had anything to do with this child his entire life (he didn't pay his own child support, his parents did, and he never even had visitation with his child). But he was given full custody of the child, over top the grandparents and step father. The father never wanted the child. He only wanted to social security benefits that he would receive.
Nov 2008- present- My DH and I have worked tirelessly the past several years to regain control of our lives. We have fought hard to get custody of our oldest nephew (which we finally did this past June!!!). Sometimes I think that this battle was just as hard as watching my sister die. I personally have suffered through terrible depression just due to the severe, unending emotional strain that I've been under the past few years.
Currently- my DH and I are now raising our 14 year old nephew. While the rest of my family thinks that this is wonderful and its reduced the stress in their life, its added a whole new set of stress to mine. He has started suffering migraines, so we have doctors appts for that. While he was with his father they never took care of his teeth. So, we've had multiple dentist appts to get fillings done (plus over $2K in bills). He needs braces. He's playing sports. He needs help studying. My schedule is filling up quickly and I've had to miss time from work to get him back and forth to doctors, dentist, sporting events. My DH (as much as I love him) has not been a help with this. His job has him out of town most of the time so I know its hard for him to do the appointments. But, even the times when he should be home in time something "always comes up". Although its a different sort of stress, I very much feel the weight of the world still on my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that we have him with us and I wouldn't change it for the world, but I was thrown into being a full time parent and it really is a difficult adjustment. Much harder than I think many people realize. It would be so wonderful to go somewhere and not feel that weight, just for a short while.
DH and I love Disney World. Our first trip was in May 2008. I thought we could escape there and get away from the madness that was our life. We were still mourning the death of my sister and just needed a break. We stayed at CBR. I wish I could say the trip was magical, but to be honest, it rained the whole time. I'm talking all day rain with heavy downpours. It just made the trip seem like so much work. We still had a good time, but it just wasn't that perfect trip.
So, I couldn't get Disney off my mind and we went back again in Sept 2009. We stayed at POFQ and this trip was everything that we were hoping for!!! We had a wonderful time.
We are planning our third trip for June. This time we are taking all three of my sister's kids on their first trip. The nephew we have custody of and his half brother and sister. (ages 14, 10, 8). We will be staying off site at a condo just to give us more space. I am very much looking forward to this trip and hope that the kids love Disney was much as DH and I do.
As much as I'm looking forward to this trip, I'm planning it with the kids in mind and what they will want to do. During this, I keep thinking about how nice it would be to do just what I want to do. Even when I go with DH, he's such a picky eater that the dining choices are limited. Unless its American/Steakhouse/Italian, DH won't try it. I'm missing out on so many wondering restaurants that I would live to try. DH is such a big kid that I feel when we are there that I end up deferring a lot of our plans to him just to make him happy. I feel like I miss out on stuff that I would like to do. It would be so nice to go and not have to compromise with anyone.
I think that DH would be okay if I did this (maybe just a little jealous). I know he wouldn't stop me from going. I think that my parents would look at me like I've lost my mind and grown 2 heads if tell them that I'm taking a solo vacation (yes I'm 35 and still care about my parents). In fact, I have even considered asking my Mom to go with me so that we can spend some time together but she won't go. She and my dad have been married 40 years and have never vacationed apart from each other.
I know that I want to do this solo, but I keep talking myself out by using works like guilty, selfish, etc. Is it so bad to want/need that time to yourself? What would you do? Would you go for it?
I guess my problem is that right now, I'm still in the "would this be really selfish" phase of thinking? I don't want to feel guilty about going alone, but I really would love a week to myself.
Just to give you all some background on where I'm coming from, here is a little bit about me. I'm 35 and I've been married to my DH for almost 11 years. Although we don't have our own children we do have custody of our 14 year old nephew (more on this later). Our lives have been nothing if not chaotic and very emotionally draining for the last several years, starting all the way back in 2006. To give you all an idea of what my life has been like, here is a brief timeline of events:
April 2006- I had to have major surgery to remove a grapefruit sized fibroid tumor. Very painful surgery.
Sept 2006- my grandfather suddenly passed away. The day he died, we had eaten lunch with him. As we were saying our goodbyes we were making plans to play cards with my grandparents one night. 2 hours later he had a heart attach and died. No warning, no nothing. Papa was my hero and I loved him dearly. I still miss him terribly.
May 2007- my great aunt passed away. She was very old and frail but her loss was a huge blow to the family. She was just one of those people that pulled the family together. She is very missed by us all.
June 2007 - DH and I suffered a miscarriage. Presumably because of the scar tissue leftover from April 6 surgery.
Oct 2007- DH's mother suffered a stroke. Luckily she survived with relatively minor permanent damage. She was in rehab for months though to regain use of arms and legs. Also during this time, my sister began to have trouble using arms and legs.
Dec 2007- my only sister was officially diagnosed with MS. At the time, she was walking with a cane.
Jan 2008- Sisters condition began to rapidly declined. She was now in a wheel chair unable to walk,
Feb 2008- Sister totally bedridden
March 2008- Sister admitted to hospital. 4 days later my father suffered major cardiac arrest. He survived after being "shocked" 3 times on way to emergency room.
April 2008-Nov 2008- Sister officially diagnosed with rare form of MS. She was totally bed ridden, numerous bouts of pneumonia necessitated the use of a trach tube. She was unable to move or do anything for herself and was fed with a feeding tube. There was no quality of life at all. She spent several months at Johns Hopkins being treated by the best doctors in the world who tried everything that she could. She died in November 2008. Leaving behind 3 small children (2 with her current husband and one from a prior relationship). She was 28. (I miss her something terrible and sometimes I don't know how I can go through the rest of my life without her. She was my best friend, my rock. My life is very lonely without her).
Nov 2008- less than 2 weeks after my sister's death, the father of her oldest child had his lawyer send a letter that he was taking immediate custody of him. This man never had anything to do with this child his entire life (he didn't pay his own child support, his parents did, and he never even had visitation with his child). But he was given full custody of the child, over top the grandparents and step father. The father never wanted the child. He only wanted to social security benefits that he would receive.
Nov 2008- present- My DH and I have worked tirelessly the past several years to regain control of our lives. We have fought hard to get custody of our oldest nephew (which we finally did this past June!!!). Sometimes I think that this battle was just as hard as watching my sister die. I personally have suffered through terrible depression just due to the severe, unending emotional strain that I've been under the past few years.
Currently- my DH and I are now raising our 14 year old nephew. While the rest of my family thinks that this is wonderful and its reduced the stress in their life, its added a whole new set of stress to mine. He has started suffering migraines, so we have doctors appts for that. While he was with his father they never took care of his teeth. So, we've had multiple dentist appts to get fillings done (plus over $2K in bills). He needs braces. He's playing sports. He needs help studying. My schedule is filling up quickly and I've had to miss time from work to get him back and forth to doctors, dentist, sporting events. My DH (as much as I love him) has not been a help with this. His job has him out of town most of the time so I know its hard for him to do the appointments. But, even the times when he should be home in time something "always comes up". Although its a different sort of stress, I very much feel the weight of the world still on my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that we have him with us and I wouldn't change it for the world, but I was thrown into being a full time parent and it really is a difficult adjustment. Much harder than I think many people realize. It would be so wonderful to go somewhere and not feel that weight, just for a short while.
DH and I love Disney World. Our first trip was in May 2008. I thought we could escape there and get away from the madness that was our life. We were still mourning the death of my sister and just needed a break. We stayed at CBR. I wish I could say the trip was magical, but to be honest, it rained the whole time. I'm talking all day rain with heavy downpours. It just made the trip seem like so much work. We still had a good time, but it just wasn't that perfect trip.
So, I couldn't get Disney off my mind and we went back again in Sept 2009. We stayed at POFQ and this trip was everything that we were hoping for!!! We had a wonderful time.
We are planning our third trip for June. This time we are taking all three of my sister's kids on their first trip. The nephew we have custody of and his half brother and sister. (ages 14, 10, 8). We will be staying off site at a condo just to give us more space. I am very much looking forward to this trip and hope that the kids love Disney was much as DH and I do.
As much as I'm looking forward to this trip, I'm planning it with the kids in mind and what they will want to do. During this, I keep thinking about how nice it would be to do just what I want to do. Even when I go with DH, he's such a picky eater that the dining choices are limited. Unless its American/Steakhouse/Italian, DH won't try it. I'm missing out on so many wondering restaurants that I would live to try. DH is such a big kid that I feel when we are there that I end up deferring a lot of our plans to him just to make him happy. I feel like I miss out on stuff that I would like to do. It would be so nice to go and not have to compromise with anyone.
I think that DH would be okay if I did this (maybe just a little jealous). I know he wouldn't stop me from going. I think that my parents would look at me like I've lost my mind and grown 2 heads if tell them that I'm taking a solo vacation (yes I'm 35 and still care about my parents). In fact, I have even considered asking my Mom to go with me so that we can spend some time together but she won't go. She and my dad have been married 40 years and have never vacationed apart from each other.
I know that I want to do this solo, but I keep talking myself out by using works like guilty, selfish, etc. Is it so bad to want/need that time to yourself? What would you do? Would you go for it?
I bet a solo trip would be a great thing for you to experence. I am really thinking about taking one myself over the july 4th holiday. I already have one planned with my daughter and Boyfriend, but have always wanted one myself so If I can make "extra" money to pay for it then I wont feel so bad.. So hello to cleaning out my closets and any other junk that I can sell!! and hello to a solo trip!
