Serious SAHM burnout!

[AlexTina]

Okay I just need to vent for a minute here and I would definately rather do here than to my kids (1, 3, and 6) and DH. I know I'll feel better once I write it all down and get it off my chest. I feel like I am going to loose my mind this week.

My kids have done nothing but complain and make huge messes! "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" UGH!! Believe me there's plenty to do, other than picking up the huge mess you just made you could color, play a game, go outside, read a book, etc... It seems that every time I turn around they've made a new mess or dumped out another bucket of toys but the only one who ever helps to pick up the mess is my dd 6 (7 in Sept) and her new favorite reply to me is "I didn't make that mess"! Well I didn't either but it has to get picked up. Actually here lately it seems that that is everyone in my houses favorite saying "I didn't put it there or I didn't dump it out" including DH. I guess they don't realize that I didn't wear their clothes but I wash them and put them away, I didn't eat off of their dinner plates but again I wash them and put then away, I didn't personally drop every crumb on the floor but I vacuum them all up. I just totally feel used lately. Like it's expected that I do all the chores around the house and I get the distinct impression that DH feels that I am just kicking back eating bon bons all day, he has absolutely no clue what goes on here during the day. I also have a small online business that I run so I do have some work to do along with all of the household stuff. I just wish that DH would realize that you don't have to leave the house for work in order to have a real job! I get up between 5:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. by 6:30 at the latest all the kids are up and DH is gone. They watch cartoons for a few minutes then they are hungary so I have to do breakfast, no sooner have I gotten the breakfast mess cleaned up when DS is HUNGARY again. After that I get some laundry going (with 5 people in the house I have to do at least 1 load everyday) then hopefully by around 9 a.m. I can get some time to do my hair/makeup and go upstairs to make beds. By the time I come down it's time to put the laundry in the dryer, and then I have to check my messages and such for my business. I reply to those and walla it's time for lunch. Do lunch clean up that mess, then start to bug the kids about cleaning up some of the messes they've made, okay now we fight and eveyone starts whining because it's not their mess or they need help to pick it up. I spend a little more time on my business and it's time for dinner. DH gets home around 5:30 - 6:00 p.m. and we eat. They all stuff their faces and proceed to go sit on the couch and watch T.V. while I clean up the dinner mess. As soon as that's done it's bath time then we fight to get jammies on and finally HALALULA!!!! It's bed time around 8 p.m. I get all 3 of them upstairs and am usually done with that process by about 8:30, I then go downstairs make coffee for the next morning and finally I sit. Keep in mind DH has had his butt planted on the couch since around 7:00p.m. after he ate dinner because you know he works all day and needs to rest when he gets home.

Thanks for listening

Tina

 

[EthansMom]

Oh, have I been there!

Regarding getting my kids to pick up: I find that telling mine that if they don't pick up I will go through, bag up the toys that are out, and throw them away usually works pretty well. Of course, I actually had to follow through on the threat the first time or two (okay, I cheated and bagged them up and then hid them... only giving them back to the kids weeks later when they deserved a big treat) for my kids to understand that I was serious.

Another good clean up tactic that I use is the kids and I will put together bags and boxes of toys to "give to the poor kids" (local charitable org.). I encourage my kids to do this every once in a while to help "make room for new toys for Christmas or birthday". Getting rid of many of the toys that they no longer play with really helps clean up our house.

My best Rx is to tell your DH "I NEED a break." Have him watch the kids for a few hours while you go do something on your own... whether you go see a movie, have your nails done, or just go run your errands, it can be so freeing to spend just a few hours without the nagging, fighting, yelling, and whining!

Good Luck!

 

[abouley]

Sorry to hear life is wearing on your lately. I imagine your older child is out of school which probably is throwing your schedule completely off? I work 3 days/week and am home with my 20 month old and 4 year old the other days and I know my days at home are way more stressful than my days at work (except first thing in the morning and then rushing form work to home to dinner to bedtime). I have really found that we MUST get out of the house every day. I try to be up and out of the house by 8:30 or so (even if it is just a walk to the park for an hour) and then when we get back, everyone is happy to be home to play with their toys and such. If kids are up early from their naps, we try to get back out for a quick afternoon walk or short trip to the park or something.

I am reading a book and it talks about how important it is to take 10-15 minutes with your kids right before you start dinner to sit down and play with them. It says this will help you to actually have peace during dinner prep. I am trying to implement this new strategy and it does seem to work. Often once I get them started on something...an art project, puzzles, etc they don't mind me going back to my stuff.

I know I tend to get too caught up in doing what needs to be done that I often don't just sit and play with my kids.

Hang in there! I know it's hard not to feel appreciated and to feel overworked and overwhelmed!

 

[tzolkin]

no advise, just

i've been feeling pretty overwhelmed and frustrated too.


not to make light of your situation, but reading some of your comments made me think of something i recently said to my 9 year old. after days of hearing the "but i didn't do such-and-such, so i don't see why i have to pick it up" i yelled back "well i didn't poop in your brother's diaper, but i still have to clean it up". she stared at me for a few seconds in shock and then we both burst into laughter.

i hope things get less stressful for you soon

 

[Tammysue5]

Go ahead and vent... it is not easy being a SAHM! I am not a SAHM BUT I am a RN who works 12 hour shifts so I generally have a good amount of days off between... and I work nights. DH always thought this was great,, I work nights no need for daycare if I am there all day! Well, DH works for a seasonal job and is laid off Dec-May. So, I allowed him to have the "easy job!" He was laid off for 6 months this past year and the house was never cleaned.... (unless I did it on my days off) he struggled with meals,,, and that lower level that he was going to do... is only half way done! WHAT... you had 6 months off work!!! The kids are all in school/all day! it was definately an eyeopener for him! I am only sharing this because until someone does a SAH "job' you really cannot tell how demanding it can be!

Suggestions: DH can help w/baths or dishes? He has a family and the work does not stop when you get home... when you have kids it is 24/7... which means that he really can take on some work at home.

When my DH was laid off... I worked and had school (working on Masters) ...I still helped around the house... made suppers on my nights off, made DDs lunches and worked on homework w/them. Made sure clothes were out for them. I wanted my DH to see my point but not to fail and get discouraged... so I did help and he saw that even w/help it is not easy to be a SAHP.

Just sit down and talk w/your DH about this. Maybe he does not even realize how hard it is on you! Oh and maybe look into a play group... ?
Another thing we do is have game nights... (not always the same night as the kids are all into things... dance, wrestling, tennis) but just when you have time. This past Sunday night we played "Scene It" Me, DH, Ds17, Ds19, DD9 and DD6! It took about 30 minutes and the kids love it.. I share this because I find that it I spend time w/them (quality time) when I can than when I am unable to due to work/school,,,, they are more likely to entertain themselves w/books, games, swimming,e tc.

Good luck!!!

 

[AlexTina]

Oh, have I been there!

Regarding getting my kids to pick up: I find that telling mine that if they don't pick up I will go through, bag up the toys that are out, and throw them away usually works pretty well. Of course, I actually had to follow through on the threat the first time or two (okay, I cheated and bagged them up and then hid them... only giving them back to the kids weeks later when they deserved a big treat) for my kids to understand that I was serious.

Another good clean up tactic that I use is the kids and I will put together bags and boxes of toys to "give to the poor kids" (local charitable org.). I encourage my kids to do this every once in a while to help "make room for new toys for Christmas or birthday". Getting rid of many of the toys that they no longer play with really helps clean up our house.

My best Rx is to tell your DH "I NEED a break." Have him watch the kids for a few hours while you go do something on your own... whether you go see a movie, have your nails done, or just go run your errands, it can be so freeing to spend just a few hours without the nagging, fighting, yelling, and whining!

Good Luck!

YES!! I have done the garbage bag and the I'm giving them to the poor kids who will actually appreciate them a few times and it does work, in fact I just went in the kitchen and got my garbage bag a few minutes ago and of course the water works started and they swore they would do it, we'll see.

Tina

 

[Taja]

Definitely not a SAHM, but you have my respect and admiration. It's a difficult job!

I agree with other posters about getting your DH involved more. My father used to look after me on Saturday mornings so my mother could clean the house (she worked full time days, he worked full time nights plus part-time days) more thoroughly than during the week. I was a pretty good kid, but he quickly realized there was a lot involved in keeping a child engaged and out of trouble! *LOL* They also shared chores around the house and yard--it wasn't a "his and hers" home, it was "our" home. This was in the 1950s--they were a bit ahead of their time!

You may not need him to be involved all the time--although it would be nice!--but at least sufficiently to appreciate everything you do for the family. Well, most things!

 

[AlexTina]

no advise, just

not to make light of your situation, but reading some of your comments made me think of something i recently said to my 9 year old. after days of hearing the "but i didn't do such-and-such, so i don't see why i have to pick it up" i yelled back "well i didn't poop in your brother's diaper, but i still have to clean it up". she stared at me for a few seconds in shock and then we both burst into laughter.

i hope things get less stressful for you soon

LOL, I have definately said very similar things and then laughed at myself afterward.


Anyhow, I think I'm just about over it. My oldest who will be 7 in Sept. has gotten to the point now that when she is done with something she puts it away, I may have to ask her to put it away but I only ask once and it's done. My DS (3 1/2) has just not gotten to that point and I guess I need to realize that he is only 3. I don't think that my oldest started really picking up after herself until she was around 5 so I think that I may be expecting a little more from him than what he can actually do on his own at this point.

Something else that may be contributing to my frustration this week is that I've decided to go back to school so that I will be prepared to go back to the work force once I've got all of the kiddos in school. I was an accountant for about 7 years before I quit to stay home with my kids in 2005. I've always wanted to do something in the medical field so I decided the best place to start would be medical assistant and then work my way up from there. Well I just found out yesterday that it will only take me 8 months to finish the degree and included in that 8 months is and externship (I think that's what it's called) where you are actually in the field for about 2 months. Then I can move forward to medical imaging which gets me closer to being a radiologist which is what I think I want in the end. Anyhow, you would think great 8 months get started and get it over with by the time they are all in school I will have all my schooling complete. Well turns out that this includes 3 nights a week so bummer for me. DH works odd hours, he's usually home by 6 - 6:30 but sometimes that varies and my mom who is really the only other person who would have the time to watch the kids lives 4 hours away. Then there is the fact that DH travels constantly for work and in the end what you have is a goal that I can't figure out how to meet because I've got to work around the schedules of everyone else in this house . I've come to realize that I probably won't be able to go back to school until all 3 kiddos have started school which is another 3 years away So anyway that's probably a big part of why I am so frustrated with everyone in this house.

Tina

 

[J&J'sMOM]

no advise, just

i've been feeling pretty overwhelmed and frustrated too.


not to make light of your situation, but reading some of your comments made me think of something i recently said to my 9 year old. after days of hearing the "but i didn't do such-and-such, so i don't see why i have to pick it up" i yelled back "well i didn't poop in your brother's diaper, but i still have to clean it up". she stared at me for a few seconds in shock and then we both burst into laughter.

i hope things get less stressful for you soon

OMG you are hilarious!!!! You literally had me laughing at my computer--and after the day I've had, I really needed a good laugh! Thanks!

 

[Taja]

I really hope you don't have to put your dreams on hold too long!

Is there any possibility the youngest could go to day care when the middle is in kindergarten? You could attend classes or do the externship during those times.

The good news: you have time to explore your options!

The one thing my mother always regretted was not getting her degree. She graduated from high school with a full university scholarship, but it was in the midst of the depression (government officials would say the depression was in its last stages; real people would tell you otherwise!). Her family needed the income she could provide. *sigh*

She wanted to be a teacher. She would have been a terrific one!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Okay I just need to vent for a minute here and I would definately rather do here than to my kids (1, 3, and 6) and DH. I know I'll feel better once I write it all down and get it off my chest. I feel like I am going to loose my mind this week.

My kids have done nothing but complain and make huge messes! "I'm bored, there's nothing to do" UGH!! Believe me there's plenty to do, other than picking up the huge mess you just made you could color, play a game, go outside, read a book, etc... It seems that every time I turn around they've made a new mess or dumped out another bucket of toys but the only one who ever helps to pick up the mess is my dd 6 (7 in Sept) and her new favorite reply to me is "I didn't make that mess"! Well I didn't either but it has to get picked up. Actually here lately it seems that that is everyone in my houses favorite saying "I didn't put it there or I didn't dump it out" including DH. I guess they don't realize that I didn't wear their clothes but I wash them and put them away, I didn't eat off of their dinner plates but again I wash them and put then away, I didn't personally drop every crumb on the floor but I vacuum them all up. I just totally feel used lately. Like it's expected that I do all the chores around the house and I get the distinct impression that DH feels that I am just kicking back eating bon bons all day, he has absolutely no clue what goes on here during the day. I also have a small online business that I run so I do have some work to do along with all of the household stuff. I just wish that DH would realize that you don't have to leave the house for work in order to have a real job! I get up between 5:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. by 6:30 at the latest all the kids are up and DH is gone. They watch cartoons for a few minutes then they are hungary so I have to do breakfast, no sooner have I gotten the breakfast mess cleaned up when DS is HUNGARY again. After that I get some laundry going (with 5 people in the house I have to do at least 1 load everyday) then hopefully by around 9 a.m. I can get some time to do my hair/makeup and go upstairs to make beds. By the time I come down it's time to put the laundry in the dryer, and then I have to check my messages and such for my business. I reply to those and walla it's time for lunch. Do lunch clean up that mess, then start to bug the kids about cleaning up some of the messes they've made, okay now we fight and eveyone starts whining because it's not their mess or they need help to pick it up. I spend a little more time on my business and it's time for dinner. DH gets home around 5:30 - 6:00 p.m. and we eat. They all stuff their faces and proceed to go sit on the couch and watch T.V. while I clean up the dinner mess. As soon as that's done it's bath time then we fight to get jammies on and finally HALALULA!!!! It's bed time around 8 p.m. I get all 3 of them upstairs and am usually done with that process by about 8:30, I then go downstairs make coffee for the next morning and finally I sit. Keep in mind DH has had his butt planted on the couch since around 7:00p.m. after he ate dinner because you know he works all day and needs to rest when he gets home.

Thanks for listening

Tina

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I could have written your post. My kids are driving me nuts, as well. (DD8 just walked in as I type this and complaining she is bored.) My daughter 8 is a master at making messes. She can make a HUGE mess out of thin air. Her room gets trashed everyday and no matter how much she cleans and how much stuff we take to salvation army (or the dump) her room is always a mess. My DH thinks that since he works outside the home his days off are OFF DUTY. I work about 18 hours + a day 365 days a year..no days off here. If my DH decides to help me by making dinner he makes such a huge mess that it takes me about 2 hours to clean it up (he shouldn't have to help clean he made the dinner after all). By the time I am done with all the breakfast dishes DS4 is hungrey again...the DD8 screams she is starving by 10am. All 3 of my kids complain about the boredom thing all day and all night. Now I can handle any and all of the day's stresses if I can get my 2 hours of alone time after the kids go to bed. My alone time is from 10pm-12am. But for some reason my kids keep getting up so by the time they settle down I have said forget it and go to bed.

 

[holly7347]

Oh, have I been there!

Regarding getting my kids to pick up: I find that telling mine that if they don't pick up I will go through, bag up the toys that are out, and throw them away usually works pretty well. Of course, I actually had to follow through on the threat the first time or two (okay, I cheated and bagged them up and then hid them... only giving them back to the kids weeks later when they deserved a big treat) for my kids to understand that I was serious.

I recently started something similar and it has been working pretty well. My DD's are 5 and 3. My 5 year old isn't too bad about picking up but the 3 year old is another story. Every time I ask her to pick something up she tells me she is too tired. I am so sick of hearing that I could scream. So now when one of them tells me they are too tired or don't want to or what ever their excuse it I tell them I will happily pick up their toys for them but what ever I pick up becomes mine and will be put away in MY room. It has always worked. I also do that when they seem to be having one of those days when they are constantly fighting over toys. I tell them if they can't work out a way to share the toy I will take it and put it away until tomorrow.

Getting out of the house even for just a couple hours seems to help us all. We have passes to a pool, an indoor play area (great for rainy days), and the zoo. But when I just want to get out but don't feel up to a major outing I just take them to the park and let them run off some steam and take we take watermelon and drinks and have a picnic.

 

[Poohbug]

I feel for you. As I type this I hear "I'm Thirsty" again for the 20th time to day. Which will be followed by "I'm bored" , "I'm hungry", "Can I have a snack?", can we watch a movie?", etc. My DH is working out of state and I am on my own. It can get frustrating. I make all the kids have quiet time while the baby naps. The older ones do not have to sleep but they must lay down and look at books. That helps me have some quiet.
I also like to take them for walks-not always quiet but nice to get out.
Don't let your family take advantage of you-you have to make sure you get a little down time. They will eventually see that if you get some time for you, you are a better mom and wife.

 

[schlepsnort]

I am right there with you! Also a SAHM, I have 3 boys, 2, 4 and 6 yrs old.
It is FRUSTRATING as heck sometimes to get them to clean up. We have a digital timer, I give them (depending on the size of the mess) 5 - 10 minutes on the timer to clean it up. If the buzzer goes off and the mess is not clean, the toys get packed up and put in the basement (otherwise known as no man's land in this house--it's dark and creepy).

Today I struck a deal with my 4 yr old, if he says "no" when I ask him to do something or if he whines I get to take money out of his piggy bank (which is full of $ for our trip in Sept). BUT if he does not whine and helps out he will get money put IN his piggy bank. Today he did not whine and he even swept the floors (happily!) and helped me carry in some groceries from the car!!!! I just about fainted!

My 6 yr old isn't so bad, he doesn't whine and he will clean up the first time asked.

Our 2 yr old is just starting to figure it out. He doesn't like it, but he will do it if I stand there and watch him.

Tell DH to get up off of his **** and help out. Otherwise tell him you won't wash his underwear until he does help out. That may spur him into action!

Find or MAKE time to get a break in for yourself. DH can make coffee!! You don't have to do it ALL! I know sometimes it feels like you may have to in order for it to get done correctly, but you can't.

But venting helps as well! Good luck! Breathe!

 

[momx2]

I am not a SAHM, but I understand. Please don't take this as a criticism, but it sounds to me like your children are bored. You are working at home and trying to keep the house up. You never mentioned that the kids had any planned activities. We had that problem here last summer. My DH started working from home. So last summer he worked from home while my DDs were home also. Needless to say they were bored to death, my house was a wreck and no one was happy. This summer DH scheduled himself around some planned activities for the kids. This means he has had to work all weekend while I'm home, but it's temporary. The DDs have been much happier, the house much neater and overall a better summer. Good luck!

 

[AlexTina]

Now I can handle any and all of the day's stresses if I can get my 2 hours of alone time after the kids go to bed. My alone time is from 10pm-12am. But for some reason my kids keep getting up so by the time they settle down I have said forget it and go to bed.

I'm right there with you. How about this though. DH will either start asking me if I'm ready to go to bed around 10 p.m. or he'll fall asleep on the couch. I have said many many times "go to bed"," I'll be there shortly" and he will not budge he'll sleep on the couch before he'll go to be without me . He just does not understand that I need my time, I really truly need the few hours I get when nobody needs anything from me and I can sit and do whatever I want. It's really frustrating.

I feel for you. As I type this I hear "I'm Thirsty" again for the 20th time to day. Which will be followed by "I'm bored" , "I'm hungry", "Can I have a snack?", can we watch a movie?", etc. My DH is working out of state and I am on my own. It can get frustrating. I make all the kids have quiet time while the baby naps. The older ones do not have to sleep but they must lay down and look at books. That helps me have some quiet.
I also like to take them for walks-not always quiet but nice to get out.
Don't let your family take advantage of you-you have to make sure you get a little down time. They will eventually see that if you get some time for you, you are a better mom and wife.

This sounds like a great idea, I plan on trying it tomorrow. My youngest still has a nap almost everyday and if I could get the others to quiet down and relax while she's sleeping that would really help.

Tell DH to get up off of his **** and help out. Otherwise tell him you won't wash his underwear until he does help out. That may spur him into action!

Find or MAKE time to get a break in for yourself. DH can make coffee!! You don't have to do it ALL! I know sometimes it feels like you may have to in order for it to get done correctly, but you can't.

But venting helps as well! Good luck! Breathe!

LOL!!! You saying that had me rolling because I can't tell you how many times I've heard "don't I have any clean underwear?" Um yeah it's in the laundry room! He just can't understand why I haven't gotten around to putting it away for him And as far as the coffee goes. Yes you are right he could do it but God only knows why he doesn't. He does help me get the kids down most nights but there are some nights when he just takes them up and puts them in their beds while I'm putting the youngest to bed (she won't accept anyone but me) and then he goes back downstairs well within a few minutes they are calling me and so I wind up dealing with them for another 20 minutes while he's sitting on the couch. Yes he could make the coffee in that time but he has never once done it! He gets up before me so I guess I could just leave it and he would be out of luck when he gets up. But my self diagnosed OCD wouldn't allow me to sleep well if the coffee wasn't ready .

I am not a SAHM, but I understand. Please don't take this as a criticism, but it sounds to me like your children are bored. You are working at home and trying to keep the house up. You never mentioned that the kids had any planned activities. We had that problem here last summer. My DH started working from home. So last summer he worked from home while my DDs were home also. Needless to say they were bored to death, my house was a wreck and no one was happy. This summer DH scheduled himself around some planned activities for the kids. This means he has had to work all weekend while I'm home, but it's temporary. The DDs have been much happier, the house much neater and overall a better summer. Good luck!

Oh, I definately agree! We've had a busy summer and it is now winding down and their bored. 5 days after DD#1 got out of school we left for WDW, then we got back and 1 week later started swimming lessons (everyday for 2 weeks), then a couple of weeks later we got a visit from my mom who lives about 4 hours away and usually comes to visit every 6 weeks, she was here for a week and we were constantly going. Now we are waiting for DH mom to come visit which is the first week in August and we don't have much going on between now and then except that we are adding on a room to our house and can't leave during the day while they are working. So YES I agree they are bored but GEEZ I have done my best to keep them busy this summer with a few boring weeks in between entertainment and I just feel like I have done all I can and they are going to have to entertain themselves for just a couple of weeks and then we'll get back into being constantly entertained. DH mom will come and 1 day after she leaves my mom is coming back and 2 more days later DD#1 starts school again. WOW now that I've written it down we've done a lot this summer

Anyhow, thanks to all of you for letting me vent I feel so much better now just having talked with all of you and knowing that I'm not alone. I really appreciate it. It's so nice to be able to come here and vent and talk to people who are in similar situations. Helps me to realize that I'm not alone and there are lots of people dealing with the same emotions/situations as me.

Thanks again

Tina

 

[DevilDuckie]

no advise, just

i've been feeling pretty overwhelmed and frustrated too.


not to make light of your situation, but reading some of your comments made me think of something i recently said to my 9 year old. after days of hearing the "but i didn't do such-and-such, so i don't see why i have to pick it up" i yelled back "well i didn't poop in your brother's diaper, but i still have to clean it up". she stared at me for a few seconds in shock and then we both burst into laughter.

i hope things get less stressful for you soon

I will confess that in a moment of sleep deprivation I glared at my then-infant son and muttered, "Can't you change your OWN diaper for once!" before realizing just how dumb that was.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I'm right there with you. How about this though. DH will either start asking me if I'm ready to go to bed around 10 p.m. or he'll fall asleep on the couch. I have said many many times "go to bed"," I'll be there shortly" and he will not budge he'll sleep on the couch before he'll go to be without me . He just does not understand that I need my time, I really truly need the few hours I get when nobody needs anything from me and I can sit and do whatever I want. It's really frustrating.

Forgive me if I'm being Captain Obvious, here. I'm asking because I was in a similar situation once.

Have you TOLD him? I mean, have you come out and said it?

"Honey, this is my only alone time. Go to bed without me." did wonders for me. It hadn't occured to him and I finally realized I'd never said it, I'd just assumed he knew and was being difficult.

 

[In a hurry]

I'm only a summer sahm, but can I suggest that you spend time involved with them, rather than only being in the same house as them. I find that when i start enjoying my kids, whining decreases, and their emotional tanks are filled. Then I get time to myself! (Same works with hubby!)

I also think that kids get too accustomed to being entertained all of the time. Bored time in the back yard does wonders!

eta: I don't mean to sound bossy or anything. I just know what worked for us, especially when I was down during a problem pregnancy.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Also a "summer SAHM" - a substitute teacher - so DS7 knows better than to actually just say "I'm bored" because Mommy always has emergency schoolwork on hand to give out!

He's pretty good about picking up when it's just him, but when he has friends over, it gets messy quick! So I've done the "if I pick it up by myself, it takes a vacation" thing, too - ours go on top of the fridge for a few days.

I always find that the times I really need him (and whoever he has over) to be busy are the times I'm least able to think of something to keep them busy! So I actually made a list of ideas when I had some brain power and posted it on a cupboard door. The biggest hit has been the simplest: good old-fashined hide-the-thimble. DS and DN's have used everything from a plastic Easter egg to a toy dinosaur. (One hides it, and gives the rest hot/cold clues until someone finds it.)

Otherwise just wanted to say glad writing helped! - I agree that it's good therapy sometimes!