nkjzmom
<font color=purple>and baby Samantha, too!<br><fon
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2001
- Messages
- 2,124
Let me take a deep breath before typing this. I'm either going to cry or blow my lid!
Monday DD5 came inside and spelled the F word for me!!!!! I calmly questioned her as to where she heard it and does she know what it is...it's a bad word, and the girl across the street told it to her. I was furious! We have had other problems with this family over the last few months. My kids were not even allowed to play there anymore. I wanted them here just to keep an eye on them...I guess I should have been keeping an ear also.
Well, I was too upset to do anything about it at that point. We are a very religious family so we talked it over and I prayed about it and decided today I would call the mother and talk to her about it. I expected a defensive and angry reaction so I prepared myself and called.
I stayed very calm and told her that something had happened earlier this week that I wanted to tell her about so that she could talk to her kids about it. I told her that her D had shared some words with my DD and told her specifically the words she used. (I didn't say them, just gave her the first letters). She was relatively calm and said she'd talk to them about it. And we hung up. Two minutes later she calls back yelling at me that I'm lying and how dare I make up these stories about her kids because I think we're better than them, etc. She accused my kids of saying them to her kids...she accused me of not feeding my children and not taking care of them because when they come over they ask to have whatever snacks her kids are having (what kids don't ask to share someone's snack?), she went so far as to accuse me of having BOYFRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She called my children liars and brats.
I was so angry. I felt like I was talking to someone so full of hate that it made me sick. My heart was beating almost through my chest, my voice was shaking....but I somehow remained calm and never raised my voice. I felt like the words were flowing from mouth without my thinking about them. Maybe I should have hung up, but I honestly wanted to defend myself and my position. I explained that all children want snacks...her kids are always asking my kids to ask me if they can have something. I explained that the cars with young men she sees are my brothers (I am the oldest of 6 children....they are always coming and going). I asked her to rethink her anger and accusations because I was not calling to make her feel or look bad (which she had also accused me of) but that I was calling as a mother who does not use these words AT ALL and would expect to know what my children are learning/saying/doing so that I can talk to them about it and let them know what's right and wrong. Somewhere she mentioned that her children would NEVER use those words because they know they'd get a "whoopin"...so I calmly reminded her that they probably also wouldn't tell her the truth if they did BECAUSE they'd get that "whoopin".
We do not use language like that, nor do any of our good friends and family. I told her I was sure that she would not want her children to use or hear these words (although I know they use them at home, I've heard them use them out in their yard but she wasn't going to admit that to me now was she?) I ended the phone call almost in tears but feeling like I had control over the situation and had let her know that I hadn't called to say "My kids are better than your kids" but that I was concerned about things her kids were learning and to explain that the four of them will not be playing together any longer. As a matter of fact, I told her that I loved her kids, they are decent kids...but the four of them were bringing each other down, not building each other up...that's why they should take a break from each other.
For background, we've lived in this neighborhood for 2 years and our kids have played wonderfully with all of the other kids. This summer when this family moved in our DS8 got into two pushing fights with their S6. Their son is rough with our DDs 5 and 3 and calls them "little girls" all the time and Nicholas has warned him many times not to do that....I guess these two times Nicholas had had enough. We talked with the dad...grounded Nicholas from a few things and let him know that fighting was never an option (except to protect yourself), etc. It hasn't happened since. But I've had these kids come into the kitchen and just follow me around talking to me about "stuff"....like they can't get enough of someone actually listening to them. There was an incident with a girl down the street who spent the night at their house and taking clothes off and kissing and touching and these kids mother telling her kids to keep it a secret. I talked to them about it and told them that secrets like that are not good.....I probably should have contacted that girls mother and let her know so she could have at least made sure her daughter was alright. But I didn't.
Sorry that I've written a novel. I just feel terrible and angry and yet justified but I don't want to come off as proud. Can anyone relate? My husband is out of town for the day so I called my mom and she was really worried that this family may do something really stupid like call DHR and make up some lies about our family to get us in trouble. So now I'm a bit nervous. When I hung up with the neighbor she was MUCH more calm...I think because she realized what a fool she was making out of herself and she realized that I was not judging her...just concerned and wanting to protect my kids.
Can someone send me some love over here????
Monday DD5 came inside and spelled the F word for me!!!!! I calmly questioned her as to where she heard it and does she know what it is...it's a bad word, and the girl across the street told it to her. I was furious! We have had other problems with this family over the last few months. My kids were not even allowed to play there anymore. I wanted them here just to keep an eye on them...I guess I should have been keeping an ear also.
Well, I was too upset to do anything about it at that point. We are a very religious family so we talked it over and I prayed about it and decided today I would call the mother and talk to her about it. I expected a defensive and angry reaction so I prepared myself and called.
I stayed very calm and told her that something had happened earlier this week that I wanted to tell her about so that she could talk to her kids about it. I told her that her D had shared some words with my DD and told her specifically the words she used. (I didn't say them, just gave her the first letters). She was relatively calm and said she'd talk to them about it. And we hung up. Two minutes later she calls back yelling at me that I'm lying and how dare I make up these stories about her kids because I think we're better than them, etc. She accused my kids of saying them to her kids...she accused me of not feeding my children and not taking care of them because when they come over they ask to have whatever snacks her kids are having (what kids don't ask to share someone's snack?), she went so far as to accuse me of having BOYFRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She called my children liars and brats.
I was so angry. I felt like I was talking to someone so full of hate that it made me sick. My heart was beating almost through my chest, my voice was shaking....but I somehow remained calm and never raised my voice. I felt like the words were flowing from mouth without my thinking about them. Maybe I should have hung up, but I honestly wanted to defend myself and my position. I explained that all children want snacks...her kids are always asking my kids to ask me if they can have something. I explained that the cars with young men she sees are my brothers (I am the oldest of 6 children....they are always coming and going). I asked her to rethink her anger and accusations because I was not calling to make her feel or look bad (which she had also accused me of) but that I was calling as a mother who does not use these words AT ALL and would expect to know what my children are learning/saying/doing so that I can talk to them about it and let them know what's right and wrong. Somewhere she mentioned that her children would NEVER use those words because they know they'd get a "whoopin"...so I calmly reminded her that they probably also wouldn't tell her the truth if they did BECAUSE they'd get that "whoopin".
We do not use language like that, nor do any of our good friends and family. I told her I was sure that she would not want her children to use or hear these words (although I know they use them at home, I've heard them use them out in their yard but she wasn't going to admit that to me now was she?) I ended the phone call almost in tears but feeling like I had control over the situation and had let her know that I hadn't called to say "My kids are better than your kids" but that I was concerned about things her kids were learning and to explain that the four of them will not be playing together any longer. As a matter of fact, I told her that I loved her kids, they are decent kids...but the four of them were bringing each other down, not building each other up...that's why they should take a break from each other.
For background, we've lived in this neighborhood for 2 years and our kids have played wonderfully with all of the other kids. This summer when this family moved in our DS8 got into two pushing fights with their S6. Their son is rough with our DDs 5 and 3 and calls them "little girls" all the time and Nicholas has warned him many times not to do that....I guess these two times Nicholas had had enough. We talked with the dad...grounded Nicholas from a few things and let him know that fighting was never an option (except to protect yourself), etc. It hasn't happened since. But I've had these kids come into the kitchen and just follow me around talking to me about "stuff"....like they can't get enough of someone actually listening to them. There was an incident with a girl down the street who spent the night at their house and taking clothes off and kissing and touching and these kids mother telling her kids to keep it a secret. I talked to them about it and told them that secrets like that are not good.....I probably should have contacted that girls mother and let her know so she could have at least made sure her daughter was alright. But I didn't.
Sorry that I've written a novel. I just feel terrible and angry and yet justified but I don't want to come off as proud. Can anyone relate? My husband is out of town for the day so I called my mom and she was really worried that this family may do something really stupid like call DHR and make up some lies about our family to get us in trouble. So now I'm a bit nervous. When I hung up with the neighbor she was MUCH more calm...I think because she realized what a fool she was making out of herself and she realized that I was not judging her...just concerned and wanting to protect my kids.
Can someone send me some love over here????
Keep your kids away and don't get into any confrontations, those types of people usually bring on their own trouble.
This is not the first time I've heard pre-teens & younger teens talking like that. They come from "good families", but I think somehow using shocking language makes them feel cool. I almost want to laugh at them and tell them what jerks they are, but sadly they wouldn't get it. 
