OK, good. We are on the same tack.
We give a larger tip when the service is special and I keep a running LIST of special actions that I write on the comment cards. If there is not enough space, I write in the margins
We have never skipped tipping anyone....
but ....
One cruise the Assistant Server was QUICK to refill the wine glasses but SLOW to fill the water glasses. We had told her up front that we were all big water drinkers.
and....
The Head Server for our section had promised a special dessert (made according to my recipe as had been done on a previous MAGIC cruise) and that it would be dessert for DH's birthday. Each night there was another excuse as to why it was not ready.
finally...
I spoke to the Restaurant Manager who had been our Head Server for the cruise where my recipe had been made. He got it taken care of the NEXT night!
so...
We took $2.50 out of the suggested tip for the Assistant Server and the Head Server to give a $5 to the Restaurant Manager--a non-tipped position. When he protested we explained why--he had made the special event happen. We also told him where we had gotten the $5. He agreed that a slight decrease in tip would be a better lesson for them than if they got nothing.
We also gave good comments on the comment card about our Server and recently learned that he is now a Head Server! We liked HIM--he did his job and the Assistant Server's job.
Jan