Sensitive Question - How much to donate at church?

[Pixiedust34]

I agree with many of the posters here. Give what you are comfortable giving. Don't worry about what those around you give. You don't know their financial circumstances, or if they are giving just that or in other ways. If they happen to see what you give (unlikely, just saying) they have no idea of your financial situation or if you've been giving in other ways that week (perhaps making a donation to the food pantry if your church runs one, supporting fundraisers if there are any, etc.)

 

[Donnainnj]

Also in Central Jersey and our Church is in the "poorer" section of the town. (There are two more churches in town in wealthier areas, we moved from one of them to ours that is smaller and had a cry room when my 15 year old was a baby and needed it) We do have 2 envelopes a week. The first envelope is for the Church and the amounts to circle are $25, $20, $15 and $10, I think they took off the $5 this year. The second envelope is for various reasons, some directly related to our church (Utilities, Mortgage) some for Missions, some for other charities. Right after we left the other town Parish a new Pastor came there that alienated a lot of the congregation with a similar program to what you describe. Our Pastor is so different, very generous, he gives out gifts to adult women on Mother's day, and adult men on Father's day, his generous nature encourages his parish to be generous. Proportionally this Church in the poorer section of town gives more weekly then the large one we were at originally.
If it was taking months for my Church to cash my checks I would find out if they needed help in the office, if not then I would find other charities to donate to, because they must not need the money.
Donna

Central Jersey (and not one of the rich towns!!) Seriously, my property was 75x100 and it was considered a big lot!! And I wasn't comfortable sending my kid to public school!!

I think it was a big shock to the parishoners as our previous pastor just left a line on the envelope for us to write in an amount if we chose to. I never wrote the amount and they always cashed any check I put in there. I continued that practice and it turned out that the new pastor never opened envelopes unless it was checked off. Took months to cash some of my checks.

Oh yeah, and I wanted to add that we received extra envelopes in our stack. Every month we had an envelope to pay our Diocesean fee per family of $10. We received envelopes in the winter months and summer months to put money in for heat and air conditioning. We received a minimum of 2 to 3 envelopes for every week of mass!!! They were expected to each be filled with donations. Some envelopes had the "required" donation. It wasn't a suggested amount. I used to throw out every envelope except the main one. The church can figure out where my money should go. It drove many parishoners away!!!

 

[Donnainnj]

Just remembered during Mass this weekend our new envelopes for next year were put out for us to take. The Pastor mentioned that they have children's envelopes for any kid's that want to use them. He went on to tell a story about how last year they got envelopes every week from one child, and each week, every week, they would open the envelopes to find money the child drew in the envelope. He thought that was great. The child was giving what he/she could.
Donna

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

For those that say 10%, when does that end?

Suffice to say it will be understood that those that are struggling may not be able to afford anything let alone 10% and that those extremely well off should give even more.

 

[kidshop]

My husband thinks we should give $10/week MAXIMUM. I do not agree, and I have been giving more than that.

Our Catholic parish last year came out and said that if every registered member gave $25/week all the bills would be paid, all obligations covered and whatever extra they like to bank.

I think that amount is pretty reasonable, and I figured most people where we are gave more than that. I think we have 600 some families registered.

 

[bigredbill]

In my family, we tithe 10% of our salaries. It's the easiest check I write every week. Personally, I feel that I have been blessed. We do not miss the money -- we don't feel that it is ours to begin with.

This works for us. I think others need to follow their own conscience and make decisions that work for them.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our Catholic parish last year came out and said that if every registered member gave $25/week all the bills would be paid, all obligations covered and whatever extra they like to bank.

I think that amount is pretty reasonable, and I figured most people where we are gave more than that. I think we have 600 some families registered.

We're Episcopalian, and this is my baseline level. In good times, we give more. Our church is a small rural one. Last year, during stewardship time, the treasurer said each family needed to give an average of $3500 to cover expenses. We have several other charities, as I'd assume everyone else does too. These other contributions are causes that are important to me, so I don't want to stop them. I've just continued to give what we always do.

 

[autumnpalm]

In my family, we tithe 10% of our salaries. It's the easiest check I write every week. Personally, I feel that I have been blessed. We do not miss the money -- we don't feel that it is ours to begin with.

This works for us. I think others need to follow their own conscience and make decisions that work for them.

I try to base my financial decisions on this premise:

Not, how much of my money will I give to God, but how much of God’s money will I keep for myself. – John Wesley

Put things into a different perspective!

OP, it sounds like a difficult situation you are in. I agree with a PP who suggested volunteering time at your church if you feel limited by what you are able to give financially.

 

[Buckalew11]

In my family, we tithe 10% of our salaries. It's the easiest check I write every week. Personally, I feel that I have been blessed. We do not miss the money -- we don't feel that it is ours to begin with.

This works for us. I think others need to follow their own conscience and make decisions that work for them.

This is how we do it also. A little trickier with my income because it varies from week to week.

However, we have found the same thing you have--we do not miss the money. We always tithed 10% when DH was out of work, doing odd jobs and even then we did fine. It was sorta strange--like how can there be enough? But we always had everything we needed.

The way I feel about it is "you can't out give God."

ETA: I would never attend a church that made me feel like I had to tithe etc. For me, that is between God's Word on the subject and me, not for some building project to dictate.

 

[TotalDreamer]

In my family, we tithe 10% of our salaries. It's the easiest check I write every week. Personally, I feel that I have been blessed. We do not miss the money -- we don't feel that it is ours to begin with.

This works for us. I think others need to follow their own conscience and make decisions that work for them.

This is also what I do and have been blessed! It can be scary to commit to, but what the Bible says about tithing is true (I know big whoop that the Bible is right if you're a believer, but when you see for yourself its awesome).

I guess Catholics don't follow the same guideline, but don't base it off of what the guy next to you is doing because everyone and their financial situation is different. It's like charity in that sense. $500 is not a lot if you're a millionaire, but it could be the next persons entire paycheck.

 

[Donnainnj]

Our Catholic parish last year came out and said that if every registered member gave $25/week all the bills would be paid, all obligations covered and whatever extra they like to bank.

I think that amount is pretty reasonable, and I figured most people where we are gave more than that. I think we have 600 some families registered.

Is that registered family or member? Our church could do some amazing charity with that much money.
Donna

 

[LBIJim]

Also, people often give their crummy, dirty unwanted stuff and then the organization has to deal with disposing of it instead of truly helping people.

This also happened with Hurricane Sandy donations. While the intent was appreciated, unfortunately a lot of the items donated were unusable. Or they were inappropriate, such as old bridesmaid or First Holy Communion dresses, or food items like fancy dip mixes from a gourmet shop most likely received as a gift two Christmases ago, cactus jelly, or other oddball stuff.

My husband thinks we should give $10/week MAXIMUM. I do not agree, and I have been giving more than that.

I think that was the suggested MINIMUM donation at my relatively weathly suburban church when I was a older teenager back in the 1970s.

OP, if you're interested in what other parishoners give, you would have loved the church I attended as a child and young teen. In the poor city of Camden, NJ, our church would send out an annual report indicating what everyone donated. Four figures for each family: total weekly, Easter, Christmas, and grand total (which would include miscellaneous donations). It was fun looking at what the neighbors gave.

I stopped going to church while in college.

Jim

 

[DawnM]

By the same token, those making $30,000 only have to give $3,000 per year.

Maybe the better question is: Where does it start?

Dawn

For those that say 10%, when does that end? Surely at some point the whole "those to whom much has been given, much will be expected" comes into play, right?
If Person A makes $100,000/year, they are left with $90,000 to spend after tithing.
If Person B makes $1,000,000/year, they are left with $900,000 to spend after tithing.
And then you have someone making $100M a year, who would be left with 90M left after tithing.

Surely that's not what God would want, right? I have to believe that God would expect a lot more from the person making $100M/year than just 10%, and would understand if a family struggling to make ends meet choses rent or food over tithing.

I guess the whole concept confuses me. I'm Catholic as well, though, and like others have said - we're not big on the whole tithing concept, much more on the 'much is given, much is expected' concept.

 

[ford family]

For those that say 10%, when does that end? Surely at some point the whole "those to whom much has been given, much will be expected" comes into play, right?
If Person A makes $100,000/year, they are left with $90,000 to spend after tithing.
If Person B makes $1,000,000/year, they are left with $900,000 to spend after tithing.
And then you have someone making $100M a year, who would be left with 90M left after tithing.

Surely that's not what God would want, right? I have to believe that God would expect a lot more from the person making $100M/year than just 10%, and would understand if a family struggling to make ends meet choses rent or food over tithing.

I guess the whole concept confuses me. I'm Catholic as well, though, and like others have said - we're not big on the whole tithing concept, much more on the 'much is given, much is expected' concept.

To my mind this post crosses over from religion to politics.
The mythical guy earning $100M a year gives $10,0000,000 to the church but your God expects a lot more because the guy still has a lot left?
I recognise the ideology but accept that further discussion would be inappropriate for this board.

ford family

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think the 10% tithe is something that people can use in either a good way or a bad way.

Someone who can afford more will try to justify to themselves that they give the 10% asked of them. But those who are struggling with finances can look at 10% as a goal.

The history surrounding the tithe, and the reality of how and whether it still applies in this culture and point in history is much more complicated.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Our Catholic parish last year came out and said that if every registered member gave $25/week all the bills would be paid, all obligations covered and whatever extra they like to bank.

My church would be able to cover its budget with $1,145 per member (not family, actual member) per year, or $22 per week.

 

[NAB]

Our parish gives us a fianical report twice a year. He tell us exactly where the money goes and if we are in the black or red.

We got a new priest a couple years ago and he has really made much needed repairs to the church but he had to ask us to give more if we could. He said people haven't really upped what they were giving in years to go with the times. Even saying this he said give what you can. We even have a basket that goes around at the end of mass and collects loonies and toonies or any loose change you can to help with the building fund for a new roof.

It's not as if the money does not go to good use , plus we get to put it on our taxes as a charitible donation here.

 

[Disney Doll]

Give what you feel comfortable giving that fits into your budget.
Don't worry about what others are giving since you have no idea what their circumstances are or what compelled them to give that amount that day.

Tithing really isn't a concept for the Catholic churches in my area.

People always get "put out" when the church asks for money but in addition to being a religious oganization, they do have bills to pay, just like the rest of us...heat, electricity, salaries, repairs, maintenance etc.

I have a usual weekly range amount that I give....sometimes at the higher end of the range, sometimes at the lower end of the range depending on the rest of my finances. At the holidays I try to give more.

I also donate my time 2 hours per week as a Parish Nurse. Sometimes if you can volunteer for a task or a role, that prevents the church from having to hire/pay someone to do that task or role, which saves them money which is a contribution in & of itself.

 

[bored]

The wife and I made a committment to each other and to God when we first got married that we we're going to tithe out 10% of gross as a minimum regardless of circumstance. At times we've been able to give much more and some time we struggled to give 10%. It is a blessing to me to be able to give back a little of all that I have been blessed with.

 

[SaraJayne]

OP, if you're interested in what other parishoners give, you would have loved the church I attended as a child and young teen. In the poor city of Camden, NJ, our church would send out an annual report indicating what everyone donated. Four figures for each family: total weekly, Easter, Christmas, and grand total (which would include miscellaneous donations). It was fun looking at what the neighbors gave.

I stopped going to church while in college.

Jim

The church DH grew up in still does this, which is absolutely horrifying to me.