Sending child to school early

[Becc1]

I have been getting differing responses to our dilema from people who know my dd so I'm hoping to get some thoughts on this from people who do not know her. My dd's birthday is on September 21st, she falls 20 days short of the cut off for entering elementary school. She is a pretty smart little girl, has a great vocabulary, writes her name and other simple words and is really interested in learning to read. I atribute this to her being there during her big brothers homework sessions and when we work with flashcards with the boys. As of right now I will not be able to send her to school until 2012, I haven't even put her in pre-k yet because I thought we would have one more year. But lately everyone at my boys school have said that we should send her to kindergarten next year, this is including the principal and the kindergarten teacher that both of my boys had. I am at the school often for volunteering and other events so the staff know her well there so I would think that they would know whether she is ready or not. But when I tell people like friends and family about sending her early they think we should wait, give her another year at home. I know she is ready for some kind of school, we play school at home and I actually plan on enrolling her in a nursery school in the spring. Can anyone give me their experiences with this kind of thing, if you've sent your kids early or you yourself went early and whether you felt it was a good choice? Thanks in advance!

 

[mjkacmom]

I think most kids benefit from preschool. When it comes to kindergarten, you will find kids with all kinds of academic abilities. All of mine could read before entering school, and dd9 was reading chapter books. However, most kids tend to have similar social skills, with the youngest in the class having the hardest time. Emotional maturity, IMHO, is more important in the beginning of school than academic ability. Around 4th grade, most are on the same page academically, but the difference in social skill between the oldest in the class, and youngest in the class, especially with girls, has a large gap.

 

[4greatboys]

You're going to get many differing opinions. I'm against sending them early. It's not just a matter if the child is able to do the work it's also a matter of maturity.
They have years to go through school. Why not just do an extra year of preschool then send her when she is the appropriate age?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Send her to nursery school and give her another year to cook. There is just no advantage to sending a kid early as far as I can see.

My older dd would have done SOOO much better if I would have held her back. She has a late b-day and would always hang with kids a grade lower than her. She is a college sophmore now and struggling with her major.

That extra yr would have really helped her, from an emotional standpoint. My kids never had any trouble with academics, other than the minor stuff.

My youngest in 8th has a Sept. b-day and it is just amazing how much better she does emotionally and academically.

Could your dd do it? Sure

However the question is SHOULD you do it? I say no. There is no major gain for sending her early and in fact if things don't work out the "loss" would be bad.

Not worth the gamble if you were a betting person.

 

[krcit]

My SIL is a K teacher and she says there is a difference between the kids that have gone to preschool and those that haven't. Very few haven't gone, btw. I would send her to pre-school for at least a year before K. There is a lot expected in K now. I would give her a little school experience first. Good luck.

 

[golfgal]

In the early elementary years you will find kids all over the board with abilities, however, maturity wise, most of the kids are fairly similar. Move forward to 5-6-7th grade and beyond and you REALLY start seeing a difference in maturity level. Now, she wouldn't be ALL that much younger then her classmates but with a September 1st cut off date she will be the LAST one to do EVERYTHING out of her friends. There will be kids in her grade a full year or more older then her and you WILL notice things down the road.

I would be more in favor of waiting, sending her to pre-school (pre-K whatever you call it there-we don't have pre-K so I am not sure what it is exactly), send her to kindergarten and first grade and THEN if she is so far advanced that it is very obvious, skip her to 3rd grade then. DO NOT skip 1st grade no matter how far advanced she is.

 

[Carlyzmom]

You're going to get many differing opinions. I'm against sending them early. It's not just a matter if the child is able to do the work it's also a matter of maturity.
They have years to go through school. Why not just do an extra year of preschool then send her when she is the appropriate age?

I have to agree. It has much more to do with maturity than intelligence. My son has a mid August birthday and we kept him out an extra year. It has done a WORLD of good. He is now in first grade and excelling - reading on a 3rd grade level. He is also one of the best behaved in class. I attribute this to him being the oldest in the class. He has NO idea that he should have started a year early. I don't think it hurts at all to keep them out the extra year and send them to pre-K.

 

[PatsMom]

OP, I would think seriously about sending her. Being the youngest in your class is no big deal. My birthday is September 30, which was the cutoff many, many years ago when I started school. Kindergarten was not common then, but I did go because I had an aunt who worked there and got free tuition! I never had problems, kept up well. About the only thing that annoyed me was when I enlisted in the Air Force at graduation, I was still so young that I had to get my parent's signatures.

My daughter is a July birthday. She was usually one of the younger kids in her class and she did just fine. Its not like you are sending her a year early, she is three weeks younger than the cut off! And it is kindergarten. You can always have her repeat if she doesn't appear to fit in socially or academically.

 

[samshane]

My son was born in mid-August... 2 weeks before the cut-off date. We consulteda lot of people and received lots of different opinions. I put him in preschool starting at age 2 (2 days/week - then we upped it til the year before K he was going 5 days/week). So we put him in K. At first I wondered if we made the right choice - but, he did well academically and even socially he was right on average with the older kids.

Today he is in 3rd grade and I have no regrets with our decision - he is a math whiz and doing great. Though he is so tiny still - people mistake him for a 1st grader which he hates - LOL. Unfortunately since DH and I are both not too tall - he'd be stuck with that deal anyway.

Best of luck with your deicison.

 

[clutter]

My dd's best friend was born 3 days after the cutoff. Her mom tried to get her in early, but the school stuck by it's deadline. The girl is now 14, in 8th grade and lives in a place where she is in high school. Mom and I were chatting recently about how glad she is that her dd isn't in 9th grade right now!

What may seem like the right decision now may not be a good decision down the road. Really, it seems like your dd could start kindergarten. But really, is there a benefit to it?

 

[laurie31]

Think of it like this - up until recently, the cut-off was Oct 1st, and there would be no issue.

I sent my DD#1 early. She missed the new Sept 1st cut-off by 6 days, but she was actually due Aug 22, so if I had just consented to the induction sooner, I would have had no issue either - lol. At the time, we were actually happy when my pregnancy continued past the cut-off. We thought another year at home would be a good thing.

However, when the time came, DD was ready in every way - socially, physically, as well as intellectually. In fact, I had a parent-teacher conference where the teacher bragged on DD's work, but mentioned that she was bossy towards the other children sometimes, and thought it was maybe because she was really a year older than the rest, so she was bigger and more mature. (she was unaware that we had started early). I had to tell her that DD was a year YOUNGER than most of the other children.

You are lucky you have a choice. Our elementary school principal was totally against it. I was unable to enroll her in public school, and I had to fight and beg to get her into private school. We were able to transfer her to public school in 3rd grade. She's a freshman in high school now, and actually taking two tenth grade classes this year. She's going to start community college her junior year (dual enrollment) and will graduate with an Associate's Degree when she's 17. She has never had an issue with being the youngest (she's still as big or bigger than her classmates) although she will be the last to get her driver's licence. (and yeah, we thought of that back in 1999 when we were making this choice - lol)

DD#2 is the opposite. She missed the cut-off by about 5 weeks. She could have done the work, but wasn't ready socially at all, and we waited to start her. She's now the oldest in her class, but it has worked well for her.

So you have to consider what's best for your child as an individual. DD#2 is just as smart as her sister, but starting early would not have been good for her.

I really don't like the idea of an arbitrary cut-off. I know they have to do something, but it seems a test to determine school readiness would be a better marker. (and I'm not talking about a SAT-type standardized test, I mean something akin to the Denver Developmental Screening that's used to see if children are meeting milestones). But that would require a lot of time, plus they would have to pay qualified examiners, so I'm sure nothing like that will ever happen.

 

[Kitzka]

Personally, I am against sending them to school early. not from an academic stand point but due to maturity. DD is an Aug baby and we thought long and hard about sending her to K. in our district the cut off is Oct 1. She was academiclly ready and was mature enough.

I ahve a friend whose daughter is a dec 18th baby (same year as DD). They were not able to enroll her in public school so put her in a private K for the year and in first grade were able to enroll her in the regular schools. She is a very smart girl and very sweet but it is clear that she is behind the other students maturity wise and as a result doesn't ahve a ton of friends.

Just something to consider.

lara

 

[Aneille]

Something else to think about:

My DD has an end of July b-day and I sent her on time. She is by far the youngest in her class because most everyone else held their kids back if they had a summer birthday. She is 7 and there are students that turned 8 before they entered 2nd grade. She will turn 8 right before 3rd grade.

So although she is only 20 days after the cut-off, once she is in school there will be kids that will be over a year older than her and then you need to add the kids that have been held back for various reasons after they entered the school.

Just something to think about.

 

[RunningGirl]

I sent my DD - she had a late August birthday and is the 2nd youngest in her high school class of 650+. Academically I do not have a single regret about sending her - she has done wonderfully!

Socially, although she has always fit in just fine, I think it was toughest on her in 5th and 6th grade. I could always tell when the kids were going through another change socially because she would get frustrated. I'm not saying she didn't have friends, but it was tougher on her sometimes, I think.

Now that she's a senior my only regret in sending her is that she's heading off to college and will start at 17. She's a great kid and will be fine, but I think she'd have a firmer foundation under her with another year of maturity. That, and I would love to have her home for another year!!!

 

[taximomfor4]

we didn't send dd early, but she's a summer birthday so was always one of the youngest anyway. Then in 2nd grade, she was skipped to 3rd mid-year. So she graduated from high school at 16.

Her personality was such that we had NO worries, really, about her maturity or social skills. Honestly, no matter which grade she was in, she could relate to a few kids but mostly preferred her own company or that of adults. Also, peer pressure is not a phrase in her vocabulary. Name brands, who cares. Newest toys/electronics, who cares. This book or that tv show, who cares. This carried over into when other kids started driving. Honestly, she is in her freshman year of college now and still doesn't drive. We had her do this year at the local college so she could stay home and "grow" another year but now we realize that we could have let her go away. She would have been fine. We just couldn't be sure of that back when she would have been applying.

So now she is applying to transfer next year.

OP, I do agree with many others. You know your child best, and her personality. For sure, think of the issues pp's have mentioned, and add your knowledge of your dd's maturity and personality. This might help you come to a decision. If you have NO doubts, go for the early enrollment. If you aren't sure, hold off for another year.

BTW, I have 3 summer birthday chidren. All 3 started school at that barely 5 age. 2 of those 3 (including the oldest, mentioned above) never went to preschool of any kind. All 3 were top of their K class and a delight to their teachers. So I wouldn't necessarily make the necessity of a year of preschool part of the equation, although if you decide to hold off till 2012, pre-k in 2011 sounds like a good plan!

 

[Tosie]

OP -here is my experience.

My dd missed our 9/30 cutoff by 6 days (her bday is 10/6). Much like your dd, mine is extremely bright - started teaching herself to read at 3 and was writing phonetically at 4, yada yada yada.

She has an older brother so I knew the kindergarten teacher well and discussed "fighting" the school to let her in "on time" at length. She assured me that waiting a year would be in my daughter's best interest, not only because she would have another year of preschool and socialization, plus mommy time, behind her, but also because being more mature would only help her academically.

I was not happy to hear this - I knew how smart my daughter was - I knew she could do the work and I knew she'd adapt smoothly.

BUT, I trusted her and agreed. I put her in another year of preschool and we waited.

She was right.

She is now in 4th grade and is one of the top students (if not THE top) in her grade. She transitioned easily from preschool into kindergarten and has never looked back. 4 of her close friends also have late fall/early winter birthdays so she is not the only "older" child in her class.

The one downside is that she is a little more mature than some of the kids and sometimes that can be frustrating.

Ultimately, you know your child best and you know what's right for her and your family. Personally, I vote for waiting, from my experience and also because they are little for the blink of an eye - enjoy every second!

 

[StitchFanZ]

My DD16 had a late summer birthday and we opted to wait a year. I have no regrets - I see a huge difference in her ability to handle different situations, tons of confidence, etc. then her friends that were pushed ahead. From a social and maturity standpoint, it was the right choice for her. My DH was not sure until someone asked him about the future - when your DD is 16 or 17 and out with friends in a tough situation, do you want her to be the youngest or the oldest in the group.
One of my friends has a son graduating this year who is over a year younger then most of his peers. Academically, he is ready for college. But maturity and common sense wise, she is thinking of keeping him home doing independent study and letting him gain some life experience/wisdom before hitting the challenges of dorm life at college.

 

[DisneyMim]

My son is an August baby and the age to start school in our town is 5 by Sept 1. My son went to preschool for two years and we felt he was more than ready for school. My husband is a teacher and saw no reason to hold him back just because a lot of people were telling us to. I am so glad we sent him on time and didn't keep him back. He is now 22 and is in a first class college and doing wonderful. I wanted to add that he's in Northeastern University, a five year school, and he is a senior. (just in case people are wondering about his age). He is applying for grad school. Some people told us to keep him back because of sports!!! Well, my son was a three season athletic all during high school, was on the varsity track team as a freshman, and did amazing. I think you have to do what you think is right for your child. You know your child best.

 

[DebD4T]

Our cutoff is Dec 31st (as far as I know). DD#2 was born in September so she is on the younger side in her class. I haven't come across any problems so far and she is in 7th grade.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

My DD11 (12 on Sunday!) is in Grade 7 and is the youngest in her grade (she started school in BC, Canada, where the cutoff is December 31, but moved to an American international school with a July cut-off).

My DD has always been at the top of her class academically, and she was fine socially in elementary school. Now that she's in middle school, though, I wish she was in a class with kids her own age. She's a late bloomer (physically), and is smaller and sexually less developed than the kids in her class. Also, she's 'still a kid' in her interests in many ways (she's not boy-crazy at all). I think she struggles to fit in with her classmates because she's just not in the same place as they are, maturity-wise.

If you'd asked me a couple of years ago, I would have definitely told you to send her. Now, I'd definitely tell you to wait.