Selective Mutism

[Mrs. Sojourner]

Any other parents with children diagnosed with SM?

If so, what are some things that have worked with your child to see progress?

Our middle DD was diagnosed 2 and 1/2 years ago. It's been a rough road, but we have seen a lot of progress. Still feels like we have a long way to go though.

I've never met anyone whose child had this also and thought it was worth a try to see if anyone on the Dis could relate.

Thanks.

 

[treehugnmama]

I don't HAVE a child with SM but I have worked with children with it. I can imagine in must be frustrating at times.

My dd has ASD so we have lots of parents to connect with I hope you find someone.

 

[bookwormde]

I have had the chance to become farmiliar is a limited way with children with transient or selective mutism and have been able to offer some advice for those families where it is derived diu to manefestations adn as a maladative adaptaion from Autism genetics in very high functioning kids

While there can be many enviromental sources for selective mutism, it is becoming identified with ASD and other cumunication and anxiety challenges.

Without more background information (age of onset, other differentials with the child, frequency, general devlopmental information, family history, etc) I would not want to comment for fear of sending you down the wrong road.

bookwormde

 

[jrfernald]

Hi - I am a speech language pathologist who specializes in assessing and treating SM. I am also a parent of a daughter with SM (mostly remediated). It's true that SM is now considered part of a greater anxiety disorder. I suggest you check the selectivemutism.org website for great information about SM. The Child Mind Institute in NYC is doing some wonderful work and my SM Clinic in NH is also doing a lot. Feel free to PM me. Know that you are not alone... recent literature has determined that the incidence is 1 in 143 children, compared with Autism at 1 in 100 (ish), depending on the study you cite!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

My dd has AS and has SM. It is a product of her anxiety. At home she is very talkative, at school she rarely talks. Her first grade teacher used to try to bribe her with candy (ineffectively) to get her to talk. This year we drove to a field trip with just my dd and I and her teacher in the car and the teacher was so surprised at how talkative my dd was and how she had never seen that side of her. It was very helpful for the teacher to be able to see the "true" nature of my dd without the SM coping mechanism in place. This helped very much with motivating the teacher to support my dd and eliminate anxiety as much as possible. My dd communicates very well via singing (strangely) and her therapist will urge her, when she is mute, to write a song and sing it. It is strange that it works but for some strange reason it does!

 

[IndianaPrincess]

My son has SM and we have had great progress over the last year. Our success was due to finding a speech pathologist that he really clicked with. She helped us (with his input) set goals and then we supported him to achieve them. We started out with lots of support and then would slowly back off. His goals were things like talk to my friends' parents, talk to our family friends, talk to one of the teachers at school that he spent time with. The change that we did that resulted in the biggest difference was that we removed all pressure to speak and just encouraged him in his quest to achieve his goals. It was a big shift and he thrived in the new situation.

Now at age 5.5, he speaks freely with our close friends, will use whisper voice with other people he knows and will randomly even talk to a stranger. That said, he is still usually mute with most strangers, but that is okay with us.

I still have a fear of him getting seperated from us and not being able to talk with someone to help him. He went on a field trip at school and I tied a ribbon around his wrist with our cell phone number. We do TONS of roleplaying with him (learned from therapy) but I just don't want to test him out on this one!

I want to extend the offer for anyone to PM me if you are dealing with SM or a new diagnosis (even in the future once this post gets buried). I'm always willing to chat about my little mute man!

 

[I Love Pluto]

I had a young girl in my handbell choir for 2 years before I realized that she had selective mutism. She was very talented - and adorable. She always talked to me and to others as she practiced.

SM kids also do well in a band situation. A trumpet or a drum are not vocal. Your child can start to play a cornet (small trumpet) at about 4 or 5 years old.

It seems as though the music and musical expression are easier for kids, so they have no inhibitions. Try the musical approach as your child grows up. Hopefully, it will work for you, increasing your child's positive self image.

I don't know why - in our brains - this works. I only know that musical achievement does help. Good luck to you. Mrs. Sojourner, your child is lucky to have such caring parents.

 

[Mrs. Sojourner]

My son has SM and we have had great progress over the last year. Our success was due to finding a speech pathologist that he really clicked with. She helped us (with his input) set goals and then we supported him to achieve them. We started out with lots of support and then would slowly back off. His goals were things like talk to my friends' parents, talk to our family friends, talk to one of the teachers at school that he spent time with. The change that we did that resulted in the biggest difference was that we removed all pressure to speak and just encouraged him in his quest to achieve his goals. It was a big shift and he thrived in the new situation.

Now at age 5.5, he speaks freely with our close friends, will use whisper voice with other people he knows and will randomly even talk to a stranger. That said, he is still usually mute with most strangers, but that is okay with us.

I still have a fear of him getting seperated from us and not being able to talk with someone to help him. He went on a field trip at school and I tied a ribbon around his wrist with our cell phone number. We do TONS of roleplaying with him (learned from therapy) but I just don't want to test him out on this one!

I want to extend the offer for anyone to PM me if you are dealing with SM or a new diagnosis (even in the future once this post gets buried). I'm always willing to chat about my little mute man!

We, too, found that small attianable goals work really well. Because of this method she has made lots of progress this school year and it has been such an answer to prayer for us. She came home this week very excited about a school play she is going to be in this Spring...with speaking parts! I asked her about it and she said she is a little nervous, but excited and really wants to do it. I am so proud of her for this!

 

[HaleyB]

Hope.

My daughter has/had Selective mutism from the time she was 2? But went undiagnosed. Quiet, shy, reserved... but never a problem for the teacher so I did not understand what was really going on. She will speak freely if I am in eyesight and she went to school with a group of friends starting in preschool that she would talk to. Really these kids are like siblings, we all moved onto the same street when our kids were under 6 months and played, ate, went places, swam, and so on together almost daily.

Her teachers figured out they could get a friend to ask her if it was something that needed a response but never thought to mention this. Maybe the playgroup kids made it hard to notice since they made up about 1/3 of the class. She was always respectful so if asked directly she would nod or nonverbally indicate an answer.

At age 11 her assistant soccer coach noticed and very tentatively brought it up. It was the first time I ever heard of it. We sought a diagnosis and learned as much as we could. Teachers were very hard to work with because they would say, but I've heard her talk many times... Since she progressed to the point where she would answer direct questions, this also muddled things. I would have to ask them to try to think of a time she ever volunteered an answer or initiated speaking to them. Eventually the light bulb would go on. Middle school was so hard because they expect the kids to "self advocate" and so if she needed help she was never offered it since "all" she needed to do was ask!

Here is the hope part. On professional advice we sought out anxiety treatment, talk therapy. That plus a couple of really fantastic teachers that I should have mentioned above have done wonders. She is 14 and I worry so much less now.

In truth she has learned how to adapt as much as she has improved. I am sending her on a field trip without going along next week.

 

[HaleyB]

I had a young girl in my handbell choir for 2 years before I realized that she had selective mutism. She was very talented - and adorable. She always talked to me and to others as she practiced.

SM kids also do well in a band situation. A trumpet or a drum are not vocal. Your child can start to play a cornet (small trumpet) at about 4 or 5 years old.

It seems as though the music and musical expression are easier for kids, so they have no inhibitions. Try the musical approach as your child grows up. Hopefully, it will work for you, increasing your child's positive self image.

I don't know why - in our brains - this works. I only know that musical achievement does help. Good luck to you. Mrs. Sojourner, your child is lucky to have such caring parents.

Band has been great for our daughter!