selective mutism?

[letfuller]

My dad just called me and thought that perhaps my DD6 is a candidate for this diagnosis. Upon researching, I see it was on Good Morning America, as well. Does any one know much about this, or means to having someone tested? I live in a rural area, but Boise Idaho is the nearest city. Any info is appreciated.

Linda

 

[paigevz]

I know a little bit. Someone will know more.

Is your daughter in public school? If so, that is the best and quickest way to start. They will have the number of a child study center as near to you as there is one. You can get that appointment, and then have the school begin diagnostic tests meanwhile. Or, you can go to a private children's psychiatrist. Most hospitals can also tell you where to go. Your insurance company, if you have it, can also refer you to child psychiatrists that they contract with.

Here's what I know: I have had experience with 3 cases. Two were young children with pervasive development disorder which is in the autism spectrum. One is still quite young and is receiving Early Childhood Intervention through the public school system, as well as speech therapy and occupational therapy. She still does not speak, except to her mother, and when others do catch a conversation, we can not understand her speech. The other is now in 3rd grade. She too, received extensive therapies from age 2 and went into the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities at age 3. She is now nearly indistinguishable from her peers for those not trained in working with high functioning autism. She began speaking at age 3 1/2 to her family, and at age 5 to those outside the family.
The third was not diagnosed with any other disability, but only had a diagnosis of elective mutism. He did very well in every other way, but did not speak at all outside of to his mother. She did record him speaking to her. I left his school when he was 6, and he was still not speaking to others. He was not receiving any services at that time.

Does your daughter speak at all? Does she only speak to family? Does she only speak in certain places? What else does she exhibit?

 

[AC7179]

Read some Torey Hayden. She is an expert with selective mutism and writes novels about her work with children. Good reads.

Basically, kids can be selectively mute for lots of reasons, one being crippling shyness. The shyness is thought to perhaps be heriditary. Another reason would be a trauma to the mouth (severe busted lip, etc.) that happened during the preschool years. Another would be psychological problems and yet another could be an abused child who has been threatened to "not tell" or horrible things will happen to their family. The kid doesn't want to take a risk so they say nothing.

Of course these are not all the scenarios, just a few.

Her strategy is to get the kids in therapy and never build a nonverbal relationship with them. She goes in with the expectation they will talk and they usually do.

 

[letfuller]

A bit more detail:

DD is very social at home: sings, dances, tells stories. On the other hand, she is very quiet at school. I think she does speak when required, but it is in a hushed whisper. As a matter of fact, I just asked her earlier if she talked to anyone at school and she replied, "Yep, I talked to Susie once" So, she is extremely limited in her socialization. She has never spoken to her uncle and rarely says anything to my parents, which is the main reason I received the phone call today. It drives them crazy. My DH and I just want to help her the best we can.

Thanks for your info

 

[paigevz]

My son also NEVER spoke at school. He'd been in the same preschool from age 17 months and never spoke there. We moved him to another one at age 4, and he would whisper in the teacher's ear there. When he came to Kindergarten at my school, I made sure he went into one of my friend's classes that he already knew. He spoke right away, the first day. He never had any trouble after that. Until this year. We moved and he started 5th grade in a new school. I got a call from one of his teachers. Her complaint: he doesn't contribute in class. He would tell her ideas, she said, but not his peers. She even went so far as to tell me it may affect his grade as he is expected to contribute. I just went home and told my all A kid that he might get a lower grade if he didn't start talking at school. My next call was: what did you say to him?

He did, however, always speak to familiar people in my presence. Does she see these family members often? How is her relationship with uncle? Maybe she's scared of him..........maybe he teases or is too boisterous.......just wondering.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't know anything about selective mutism, but a friend's DD was VERY shy when she was younger--sounds a lot like your DD. When she was a preschooler she talked to me since I knew her real well, but then when she went to elem school we were not as close and she wouldn't even hardly tell me "hi" when I went to her house. She wouldn't talk to her grandpa, which drove him crazy. I think she would talk to her grandma somewhat, but she was a lot more gentle and let the girl go at her own pace, which helped. Not sure how she was with other relatives.

I don't know how she is now at 11yo since I don't see them often. The last time I saw her she was less shy and actually chatted with me a little. I was pleasantly shocked.

What does your DD's teacher say? Will she participate at school when called on by the teacher? Does the teacher think that there is a problem? Maybe the school counselor would be a good person to start with, after talking with the teacher.

 

[Jynohn]

My son was diagnosed with selective mutism about 6 years ago. Up until second grade he spoke ONLY to myself, my husband, my sisters and my parents. He had lots of friends, and did well in school, but wouldn't speak a word to anyone outside of the family. At home he was a normal, active, outgoing kid, but at school or in public he communicated only by gestures. He also wouldn't talk to anybody on the phone, family included.

I first noticed there was a problem when he was about 2 or 3, but the pediatrician told me he was "just shy" and he would grow out of it. I didn't become really concerned until he started school. Once kindergarten started and he still wasn't talking I began looking for second, third and fourth opinions. I took him to several psychologists and nothing helped. I also kept beating myself up because I thought "something" horrible or traumatic that I didn't know about have happened to make him this way.

One night though, just by chance, I saw a segment on 20/20 about selective mutism and it was a light went off in my head. THAT is what my son had, I just knew it. Once I had a name for it, I did research on the internet and found a specialist in my area. We made an appointment, and met with the doctor. He suggested Paxil, which I was strongly against, but I eventually agreed as a last resort. Well it was like a miracle because literally within a few weeks my son was talking!

Long story short, he only ended up taking the Paxil for a few months and we slowly took him off of it. He is now a typical 7th grader with absolutely no trace of the SM. In fact, he's constantly on the phone now!

PM me if you ever need to talk, and don't ever let yourself feel guilty for what your daughter is going through. The doctor assured me it most likely has a genetic component and has nothing to do with trauma, upbringing, etc.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Jynohn