second guessing

[scrappychar]

So.... I am second guessing our choice in dates. We are going to DL September 6-18. Basically DS is going to school for three days and then will be off for 11. The school kind of frowned when we told them.... I am not sure, should we change our dates? We are going during a less busy time because DS has very high anxiety.... however we don't want to do something detrimental....

Thoughts?

Char

 

[quest4dl]

I think it depends a bit on the age of your child - it's a lot school to miss if he is older. Also, what causes his anxiety? Sometimes being off schedule and trying to catch up in school can also be a cause for anxiety. Personally, I don't feel the stress of the 'catch up' is worth taking time off school. Again, depends on your school - they cover a lot of ground in my ds' school so taking time off becomes quite an issue.

 

[scrappychar]

My son is going into Grade 2.

The anxiety is crowd related. Being behind in school work is not a problem, if anything he is usually ahead.

Char

 

[JenDisneylandlver]

We homeschool, so it's easy to take vacations when we want to. But when my son was in public school, I would only take him out for 2-3 days for a DL trip. I'd think 11 would be a lot to make up on. I know his old school would have pitched a fit about that long too!

 

[TiredX2]

Is he only high anxiety around crowds?

I would be concerned about taking a high anxiety child out of school at that time because
1) friendships are often formed early on in the school year in young kids--- does he already have friends in the class?
2) The first couple weeks are getting settled--- will he feel lost when he gets back?

We don't like *huge* crowds. I would love to go in September but because of those concerns we won't. When DD was in 2nd grade we took off from the Friday before Memorial day weekend to the next Sunday (so 10 days) and only missed 4 days of school PLUS there weren't the above concerns. We're going to do the same when DS is in 2nd grade next year. If we were just going to take off a whole week, I think I would consider October instead so DS could be a bit more settled.

 

[TiredX2]

I just wanted to add though...

If you think DS will handle the possible "problems" of missing school I wouldn't hesitate to pull him. Assuming this is not a monthly thing, it will be a much better and bigger experience in a 7 year olds life than an extra week of school.

 

[noryglory]

Is he only high anxiety around crowds?

I would be concerned about taking a high anxiety child out of school at that time because
1) friendships are often formed early on in the school year in young kids--- does he already have friends in the class?
2) The first couple weeks are getting settled--- will he feel lost when he gets back?

We don't like *huge* crowds. I would love to go in September but because of those concerns we won't. When DD was in 2nd grade we took off from the Friday before Memorial day weekend to the next Sunday (so 10 days) and only missed 4 days of school PLUS there weren't the above concerns. We're going to do the same when DS is in 2nd grade next year. If we were just going to take off a whole week, I think I would consider October instead so DS could be a bit more settled.

I agree one hundred percent with all of this. We like low crowds too but chose to go in early May this year (after spring breaks and before summer crowding)...my son is also in the second grade.

 

[Sienna]

While I think 11 days is a bit long to be gone, I don't think you'll cause undue harm to him. It sounds like he's right on track for his academics, and he'll settle right in when he gets back. A lot of times the schools are a bit more sympathetic if an extended trip is due to family issues (things like weddings or reunions), or if you're traveling a long way, kindof a "once in a lifetime" type of trip, going to a foreign country, etc. So when talking to the school and the teacher, if applicable, you might want to emphasize another aspect of the trip, and not just the Disneyland part of it. Also be sure to emphasize that you'll make sure he reads every day, does some workbooks, etc, to keep up on his studies.

 

[XTinabell]

I don't have children but my dad is a principal and was a teacher all through my growing up and 11 days is quite a long time to take your child out of school especially at the beginning of the school year where friendships are being developed and student teacher relationships are developing.

There are other offtime years to go that might be better as far as taking your child out of school as well as beating the crowds at Disneyland.

Perhaps in Feb ?? Or the beginning of November is also a great time to go.

 

[minniebeth]

I don't have children but my dad is a principal and was a teacher all through my growing up and 11 days is quite a long time to take your child out of school especially at the beginning of the school year where friendships are being developed and student teacher relationships are developing.

There are other offtime years to go that might be better as far as taking your child out of school as well as beating the crowds at Disneyland.

Perhaps in Feb ?? Or the beginning of November is also a great time to go.

Agree 100%....I am a teacher and the beginning of the year is crucial to laying a postitive foundation for the rest of the year, socially, academically and organizationally (rules, routines, etc.).
I am ALL for pulling kids out of school for family time and life experiences, but that sound a little too soon for ease of mind for both children and teachers alike. Good luck with what you decide!

 

[Dobie]

I'm a school psychologist. Do I think that taking your 2nd grader out of school for 11 days in September is going to have permanent detriment? Absolutely not.

That being said, you need to to understand that your child will basically be coming back to school as a new student. The class will be comfortable with class routines--your child will not have remembered them from the first three days, as the first couple of days are special days and the child will have the memory of a long, exciting trip interfering. The class will have had their reading and math placement tests and will be established in their reading and math groups--your child will not. It will take a bit of time to get your child properly placed, and he may or may not get appropriate instruction in these core areas until he is tested. The kids will have established their social groupings and made play preferences--your child will be the "new kid" and will have to insert himself into an existing pecking order, which can be very difficult for young, anxious children. Your child's teacher will have her hands full with beginning of the year activities, and probably won't be able to give your child the time that you think your child needs in order to get settled in, and may not think that a family trip to Disneyland is a good enough reason for her to add more to what is usually a 12-14 hour day in September, just to get your child settled in more quickly. The kids in the class will be settled down from the summer because the first week or so was spent in reorientation activities--your child will be tired and overstimulated from a long trip. You may experience some elevated levels of acting out behavior, as your child may be tired, frustrated, anxious, and may have difficulty with two "first days of school" so close together.

 

[joeysmommy]

I say go for it!

We take our kids, 4 and 6 out of school for 1 week in September and it is sooo worth it. Our trip is a Birthday trip the last week of September because all of our birthdays are within that week, also so we can take in the Halloween wonderfulness at DL.

My son is starting 2 nd grade in the Fall as well. Just as long as they won't be missing any crucial state testing period(ous is in May) it won't really matter.
The first time we did this I told his kindergarten teacher and asked if we could sign up for independent study so the school wouldn't lose $$ while he was absent.

We had to sign a contract stating that we would commit to 3 hours per day of instruction as well as completing assignments given to us by the teacher.
Many of her suggestions were easy things like finding hidden Mickeys, looking for certain letters of the alphabet while waiting inline and playing I Spy.
Things we do anyway.

The next year I didn't sign up for independent study but told his 1st grade teacher we'd be out of town on a family trip for 1 week. I didn't mention it was DL since I overheard her grumbling about another student who missed school for that reason.
She gave me all of his school work and we were set.
For 1st grade the contract is upped to 5 hours of instruction.

As for the bonding/friendships.. if he has been at this school since kindergarten he probably has plenty of friends and knows all the kids by now so I wouldn't worry about that.

Have fun without any guilt!!

 

[scrappychar]

DS has been at this school since preschool, so relationships are formed. He doesn't have tonnes of relationships due to having aspergers (as well as anxiety).

I should mention that the trip is 11 days total, meaning he only missed 7 days of school. Not that this is any better.

My son's anxiety is also separation based. Meaning that when school starts - it is a trecherous time for all involved (teacher, myself and principal alike) and the first 6 weeks of school were the worst for us. We were thinking (and perhaps wrongly) that if we had a "carrot" to dangle to get him into school and going for a week, then went to DL that this may help.... however now we are second guessing that. Thinking about perhaps October/November. Or even waiting until February. Granted we have flights booked (got a great deal) but we have cancellation as well (so we can change it with little financial consequences).

C

 

[hlbtimes2]

While I dont usually have a problem with kids missing a couple days if they are doing ok in school, I think 11 days that close to the year starting is too much. I would love to go in Sept for my birthday, but I wouldnt be able to justify the kids missing school at that time. Personally, I would reconsider the dates.

 

[twinspluscade]

My twins are missing 6 days total at the begining of Sept. School here starts at the end of August (I think the 21?), so they'll have about two weeks of school before we go. They'll be in Kindergarten.

My preference would've been to go more towards the end of September; however, my brother is getting married Sept 13 in Colorado, and of course we have to go to that. We decided to make it a combo trip: first a few days in CA, then to CO for the wedding. We're driving from Iowa, so need a few days to make the trip too.

At first I read your post to mean that your son is missing 11 school days; however I see that it's actually 7. In that case, I personally wouldn't worry about it, especially since he's been in this school before, and is good about making up work.

 

[Cinderlala]

It is my opinion that school is provided as a service to you & your child, and if you believe that time to be the best for your family & son, then that is when you should have your trip.

You are in the best position to know how your child will react to school, or to missing school.

 

[amyamya]

OP whatever or whenever you decide to go there are some great posts about doing the parks with kids with ASD/Asberger's/SID. Check out the disABILITIES board....

 

[JenDisneylandlver]

It is my opinion that school is provided as a service to you & your child, and if you believe that time to be the best for your family & son, then that is when you should have your trip.

You are in the best position to know how your child will react to school, or to missing school.

This I also agree with! Only you know your child, and what they can and can't handle. Since you've already got your plane tickets bought, I'd go! Have a great time. Sounds like the beginning of the school year is never a peach anyway for your family, maybe having this wonderful trip thrown in there will make things easier. I seriously doubt missing 7 days of school will make or break his year. Good luck deciding!

 

[Leofoenget]

So.... I am second guessing our choice in dates. We are going to DL September 6-18. Basically DS is going to school for three days and then will be off for 11. The school kind of frowned when we told them.... I am not sure, should we change our dates? We are going during a less busy time because DS has very high anxiety.... however we don't want to do something detrimental....

Thoughts?

Char

11 days out of school? wow. I can usually justify a day or two but 11? We had a family in DS class who went to China (pre earthquake) for about that long but they had to do independant study and it was ok. I think 11 days for Disneyland is a bit much personally. But to each his own.

 

[kaoden39]

Wow what a firestorm for such a simple question. I think that what you decide for your child is your decision not anyone elses. I have taken my kids out of school for a week in the past to go to Disneyland and to go camping. We did independent study for them and nobody missed any school work. Our son had to write a journal everynight at Disneyland about what he had done as one of his assignments. His teacher thought it was a wonderful thing for him and our girls teachers were the same way. I would not do it now that they are in middle school and high school because there is far more at stake for them to miss. My oldest daughter is in honors classes in high school and her sister will be next year. They never lost anything by missing class for family time. Enjoy yourself whatever you decide.

Michele