Screaming kids thread on the adult board...

[momxx5]

Okay weighing in a bit here(should probably just walk away....)

As a parent of five children, who spends alot of my day being a "mean mommy".....No, you cannot climb that broken fence like Johnny next door, ....No, you cannot ride a bide without a helmet like Sam across the street...No you cannot roam the neighborhood unsupervised like the 1 & 2 yrs old across the street do.... Just this past week I felt like it was endless NOs. My children do understand why we have rules, they are good kids and they do respect others.

I have always, since my children were very young told them where were are going and how I expect them to behave. The ground rules were set before we even left the house. This made it much easier for the children - they actually learned to behave.

Now, that is not to say that meltdowns do not happen, they can happen to anyone. My saying is that ANYTHING can happen once, but we try hard to handle it right so that it doesn't happens a second time. Example, Suzie screaming because she wants a balloon - usual child behavior, but Suzie can learn that she doesn't always get her way and screaming is certainly not going to make it happen, so next time Suzie doesn't scream. Does that make any sense?

I have learned that anything can happen, kinda like "until you walk in their shoes". I think a sympathizing smile from another mother can be very reasuring.

Now, we went on a great family vacation to WDW this past July. My children were 10,9,7,5 and 2 yrs old. The older ones were not a problem at all. They were so excited and apprecaitive to be at WDW they was no time to be bad. Now my 2 yr old DD is VERY "2", however the problem we have with her is that she loves the characters. She cried and fussed really bad while in line to see Cinderella. At first the othere people there thought we were torturing her by making her go see Cinderella. Thankfully they and the awesome CMs realized how much she loved Cinderella and all were ohhing and ahhing as little Krissy gave Cindy big huggies! Thankfully, by the time we had dinner at Chef Mickey's she understood that she would have to wait her turn.

She also freaked in COP because she thought the stage was for Beauty & the Beast and when they didn't come out, she lost it....needless to say it was right at the beginning of the show and I took her out really fast - like the other poster, setting out of the round house and through some ropes, the show did not stop for the others(thank goodness).

We limit our sit down meals and look forward to having better meals once our little one is older.

So, I guess WDW is a place for everyone. There will be mis-behaved people of all ages. Thankfully, there are more happy, friendly nice people that the others.

 

[grlpwrd]

Originally posted by lenshanem
GEM, how old did you say your child is?
I wish it was that easy with a three year old!


What I find interesting is the amount of people that comment on how bad kids are then go on to say my child is an angel and I've never had problems or even those who haven't experienced the twos and threes yet! You have to walk in my shoes to understand...

So true!

 

[lenshanem]

You cannot judge a family's situation by snooping from the next table or looking over a few heads in a line or at a show. I hate it when people assume my 4 year old is crying because of something I did or did not do as a parent. Sometimes he has inexplicable meltdowns, and it doesn't mean he is overtired, overstimulated, hungry or anything else. It also has NOTHING to do with being on vacation in WDW, because he's the same at home in slow-paced boring old Bangor Maine!

Sounds so familiar...
My DD freaks out if her clothes feel odd, etc. Very high intensity. She typically doesn't throw tantrums over things like you hear about - wanting toys, candy, etc. She is not like that at all. I have literally aged years and years.

My Mom just ordered something new for us to try - The Happiest Toddler on the Block. She saw it on Dr. Phil I think. It is a DVD. As always, I'm game to try anything new. I'll let ya'll know how it works.

Now a whole other topic are my neighbors... EGADS! They let all their babies free to roam outside once they started walking - literally! I have become the official culdesac babysitter. Really makes me mad. Just yesterday I had to run and scream across the road cause their five year old was riding his scooter without paying any attention and a car almost ran him over.
It kills me when I look out and see their youngest, just turned two playing outside without a person in sight. This is in the day while her older siblings are at school!

 

[GEM]

Oops. Double post. Sorry!

 

[GEM]

Yes, that's all very true. Yes, babies cry. Yes, toddlers have meltdowns. Yes, some kids are more prone to get upset than others. I would never think poorly of any poor parent because their child was having a bad time - whether they were screaming to get down from their high chair at the California Grill, or kicking and screaming because they wanted a toy, or just crying for no good reason at all. We all know and understand that those things happen with young kids.

The point is, though, that you don't make other people suffer any more than necessary when it does happen. Take your screaming kid out of the restaurant. If necessary, pick your kicking and screaming toddler out of the floor and carry them out of the store. Don't just ingnore the situation and go on with what you are doing.

Here's an example -

A family is eating dinner at any restaurant and the two year old gets bored and tired of sitting. He starts screaming, throwing food, etc. He's not a bad kid, just a bored toddler.

Situation A: The parents keep eating and ignore the behavior while everyone in the restaurant suffers.

Situation B: The parents try a few things to stop the behavior like giving him a toy or talking to him, but the child continues screaming, crying, throwing food, etc. So, the parents keep trying but nothing works and the kid keeps screaming.

Situation C: The parents try a few things to fix the situation, but after a few tries, nothing has worked and the kid is still causing a major disturbance. So, one parent takes the little one out of the restaurant to run around outside or go for a walk in the stroller, whatever.

Which parents are you going to think have the best parenting skills?

And, for those of you who seem to be suggesting that once my little one turns two I will change my tune and let him annoy the pants off of people, I can guarantee you are dead wrong. I will always choose to remove my screaming child from the situation, even if it means leaving a half-eaten meal in a restaurant. To me, that's just part of being a responsible parent.

 

[Stimpy]

I'm another "mean" mommy who doesn't let my children do "anything" they want, like other kids do. I have been told several times by friends and strangers that I should "lighten up" a little. (of course, I was standing next to one of these friends the other day when her 2 year old ran in front of a car! Until I yelled for him to stop, his mother had no idea he was in the street! But that's a whole other story!) Anyway, I am not extremely strict but my child does know what he can and can't do. He is not an angel and I don't expect him to be one 24/7. He's a normal kid.

When DS-5 is not behaving or acting up he, and now his sister (5months) when she starts gettin fussy, they are removed from the situation whenever possible. I agree that children should be taken out of the restaraunt, show, store etc. But, there will be times when you can't get out of there. (Airplanes come to mind) In those cases, I don't think you can judge a parent's parenting skills if they can't get their child to calm down.

 

[Stitchfan]

I think so long as a parent is making a genuine effort to calm the child, people shouldn't have a problem with it. Kids get tired, they get cranky, sometimes its just a bad day- that's life. That said, I think there are times when parents need to do a little bit more than just a 'quiet down sweetie.' For example, we were eating at Pecos Bill's this past trip, little boy and his family sit behind us. The little boy is obviously very, very tired and very, very cranky and starts throwing a fit. The mom steps in and keeps trying to calm him- good job The little boy keeps up the fit and my younger brother ends up catching the little boy's sandal with the back of his head The mom did kind of apologize, she was obviously very flustered, but sits down and lets the child continue throwing a fit Needless to say we ended our lunch much sooner than planned. But that's the kind of situation were I think the child needs to be removed. In the end I felt bad for the little boy because he was obviously well beyond tired and the parents weren't doing anything to help him in that matter

 

[JamesMom]

Hi!
I am currently planning our first family trip to WDW and am trying to plan so that my DS doesn't get listed on the 'Screaming Kid' thread by doing the following:
1 - A short trip - only 5 nights + got 2 rooms at AS so have plenty of room to spread out.
2 - Short visits - Early Entry to Lunch in the parks - that's it! Paln on 3-4 major attractions and consider that a success! And visit the park playgrounds to get the wiggles out between shows/attractions. And no baby-swap - why make a child wait in line for nothing? Seems like a quick way to the screamies, if you ask me.
3 - Do a parent swap in the afternoon - One parents goes back to the hotel w/DS for swim, nap, TV, play, etc while the other visits a park of choice solo
4 - 2 Nights of the trip hire a babysiter (Kids Nite Out) to watch DS while we enjoy 'Adult' dinners at Chef Du France and California Grill followed by Night club. I would never dream of taking ANY child to CG - the food is too expensive and atmosphere is definitely Adult.
5 - Keep Lunch restuarants entertaining for DS - Crystal Palace, Sci Fi dinner, San Angelo (when Marichai perform), Chef Mickey's so hopefully we can milk out a few extra minutes with him occupied. But if he acts up - we are out of there, or if the meal is already served, one parent will leave w/DS while the other eats and vice-vesa. We do this already on the rare occassions we eat out.
6 - Dinners are low key affairs at the food court - short and sweet. We already know that late afternoon/early evenings are 'melt-down' times for him so we plan to be far from parks during this time.
7 - One night we will attend MVMCP as a family knowing in advance, that after the fireworks, I am taking DS back to the hotel while DH catches some rides. This will be DS only late night!
8 - Above all, Try to keep as close of a schedule as at home. Already we do most of our trips in the morning, relax in the afternoon, and play at home in the evenings with a 8:30p bedtime.
Now, we have never vacationed with DS before, so all this could be a big cosmic joke, but we hope our low expectations and planning will pay off in an enjoyable vacation for ourselves and others!

JamesMom
------------------------
Planning Trip #8
First w/DS (23months) : ASMu - Dec 9-14

 

[tjmw2727]

sounds like a great plan JamesMom and since you seem flexible you will be ready for anything. Just wanted to comment that the child does not have to wait the line to use babyswap so you don't have to rule that out.

For example at RnRc in MGM we went to the entrance of the line, told the CM we wanted to child swap and he gave me a child swap pass. It was similar to a fast pass but didn't have any time restrictions. DH waited the line and rode RnRC while I took the gilrs to the Beauty and Beast show. When it was over we met and I rode RnRC while dh took the girls to play in the HISTK playground and we met up after. We generally did stay together as a family but there were a few things dh and I really wanted to do so child swap for us was great.

Oh and you can add me to the list of parents who has waited in the car during a meal or walked the parking lot and then ate leftovers at home! Its such a short time and so worth it that I wouldn't trade it back. Now at 7 and 9 we can eat out pretty much any time we choose and they way they behave now it was well worth the wait, they are great company.

TJ

 

[GEM]

Originally posted by Stimpy
I agree that children should be taken out of the restaraunt, show, store etc. But, there will be times when you can't get out of there. (Airplanes come to mind) In those cases, I don't think you can judge a parent's parenting skills if they can't get their child to calm down.

Absolutely agreed! If you can remove them from the situation, then you should. If you can't do that, then you just do the best you can. I've been on lots of airplanes with screaming babies and sometimes there is no amount of jiggling, funny faces, toys, etc. that will get them to stop. In those types of situations, I feel only compassion and sympathy for the poor parents and the child - and for everyone else on the plane.

Oh, and JamesMom, that sounds like a great plan!

I would second what was said about the baby swap, though. We did lots of baby swaps on our last trip. One of us would take DS on a walk to look around, have a snack, visit a character , etc. while the other rode and then we switched off. It worked like a charm. And you picked the PERFECT time to go. Cooler weather and no lines generally makes for happier babies - and everybody else, too! We will be there at pretty much the same time. You'll probably be able to do lots more than you think you will, since you won't have to deal with heat and crowds. We've found most things a walk-on at that time of year.

I also wanted to say that I have no problem at all with kids at restaurants like the California Grill. The atmosphere there is actually pretty loud already and we have seen many, many children there on every visit. As long as you are prepared to take your child out (as you seem to be) then I see no reason not to take him to any of the nicer restaurants. Of course, having an adults night out is great, too!

 

[Stimpy]

Originally posted by lenshanem
This also reminds me of the many posts I've seen where people were complaining about the "quiet" pools having kids in them...
WDW really needs to change that term to something else. It is misleading. Typically the "quiet" pools are just the non themed pools with no slides. I'm sure WDW didn't intend for all those pools to be for adults only!

Interestingly, we just got our magazine for DVC members today. They mentioned in a section about pool hopping that:

"Pool Hopping is never allowed at Stormalong Bay at Disney's Y&BC and Uzima Pool at AKL. This restriction also includes the LEISURE POOLS at these resorts." (Boldface & initials are mine )

So it looks like Disney is trying to change the perception that these pools are to be considered "Quiet" pools.

 

[vhoffman]

My kids were both 5 (twins) when we first went to WDW. I honestly think anything younger just wouldn't work out for us. Perhaps other kids can do Disney at a younger age. However, all my kids could handle before 5 years old was a much smaller, less intensive park, such as a local carnival. I personally never could understand parents who take babies or small toddlers to Disney. Yes, I know, Disney is for children, but really not for babies. I wonder at the parents dragging diaper bags, etc., all over the park. A baby or small toddler just can't handle an intensive park experience like Disney. They get tired, cranky, hungry, and there you are, changing diapers all through your park stay (Mine went through 10-12 diapers each per day, so that would be about 25 diaper changes, that's all I'd be doing). And many of the rides and shows scare a little one. Like another poster said, you might not know how your child will react until you're literally trapped inside a situation you can't exit from easily. To each their own, but I preferred to wait until mine were old enough to handle the experience without melting down 1/4 of the way and spending the rest of the day trying to settle them down. Just my opinion!

 

[daystar]

Hi,

 

[GEM]

Originally posted by daystar
I feel that WDW is a family place and you should expect to have all different types of children around you screaming, crying, want want etc....So if the people that can't handle kids maybe WDW isn't the place for you to take a relaxing couples vacation

Hey, I'm there with my 16 month old and I still don't want to hear the baby at the next table scream all through my breakfast.



As for whether babies and toddlers should be there at all or not, that's a whole other can of worms. If you are prepared to go at a slower pace and adjust your plans according to baby's whims and needs, then Disney World is a GREAT place to take a very young one.

 

[daystar]

Hi Again,
I also don't want to hear nothing but screaming children but how would you ever avoid that in a place that is buildt for children and there is so many of them visiting all at once....Some people just have more patience and understanding.......

 

[jkovick]

If you read the whole thread over there (its been there since June) you would see that the majority of the posters have no problem with children or kids at WDW. The issue is about parents who do nothing when their child misbehaves and disrupts everyone around them.

 

[vhoffman]

I agree with GEM--you just have to decide for yourself what age is appropriate to bring a child to Disney. However, I also don't want to hear someone else's kid scream all through a meal. What bugs me most about screaming kids is not the kids but their parents, who just sit there and do nothing about it. At least try something to settle them down. Some parents act deaf, dumb and blind with their out of control kids. However, I was lucky in that my kids just were not the screaming type. I don't believe they ever had a major meltdown in public. I like to think that's due to my perfect parenting, however, I know some kids just scream no matter what you do. It does help not to stress the kid beyond his limit. Don't drag him for 8-10 hours around a hot, crowded park where he's over stimulated and wonder why he reacts. But that brings me back to why I didn't bring my kids to Disney until they were 5. I felt anything younger and they couldn't hold up for a Disney day. And, like I said, I didn't want to spend a vacation dragging aroung a diaper bag and changing diapers all day. But, to each their own!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by jkovick
The issue is about parents who do nothing when their child misbehaves and disrupts everyone around them.

For some odd reason many want to just ignore this piece of information.

I'm a mother. I love kids as much as the next person. I'll never understand why some parents think it's ok for thier darlings to annoy others. If your child is misbehaving, do something about it.

 

[GEM]

Originally posted by daystar
Hi Again,
I also don't want to hear nothing but screaming children but how would you ever avoid that in a place that is buildt for children and there is so many of them visiting all at once....Some people just have more patience and understanding.......

OK. For like the 10th time . . .

You would avoid it by parents having enough sense to take their child out of situations where their children are crying, screaming, and being disruptive. Yes, some people DO need more patience and understanding. But, some parents need more sense, too. It really doesn't matter if the place was "built for children" or not. It is still your responsibility to either stop the disruptive behavior or remove the child if it is at all possible to do so. Would you take your child to see a Disney movie in a theater and allow them to scream and cry through the whole movie because, after all, it is a kid's movie? I really hope not!

I'm really sorry. I don't mean to be snippy or anything. I just hate it when parents use phrases like "we're on vacation" or "it's Disney World" or "this place was made for kids" as excuses to allow their children to make other people miserable. You don't take a vacation from decent manners and common sense.

 

[CapeCodFam]

Gem,

ITA with allthe posts you have wriiten on this thread.
Yes, I am a mean mom. I expect my 3 boys (8,6,2) to act like gentalmen at home, school, and in public, especially on vacation. That way everyone has a great vacation. The 2yr old takes his cues from his older brothers, for the most part they are gentleman. If we run into an issue we just leave. I don't tolerate rudeness.

Parents need to be parents and not their kids best friend. There is plenty of time for that when they are all grown up.

I love my boys and it is my job as a parent to teach them to be caring and courtious, and productive human beings.

A little common courtesy goes a long way