School issues - ADHD - at my wits end! UPDATE: we changed schools!

[BeckyScott]

I was just wondering, for those of you with older kids- did you notice specific problems when your kid started to get older?

DS is 10 (11 next month) and is on Adderall, 12 1/2 mg a day, which I think is a pretty low dose. It doesn't seem to be working as well as last year. But he grew quite a bit over the summer, he's bigger now, so one thought was that the dosage wasn't right now. But I don't want to increase it. Then I had more than one friend with *boys* tell me that 10 was a really rough age. DS is definately starting puberty, he's getting hair and his voice is starting to change.

He's pretty grumpy and not violent but gets mad easily. I'm not sure if it's the Adderall or the Hormones. But. His grades are in good shape. But the teacher has had to move him to the front of the room, already, and regularly taps on his desk so he'll quit gazing out the window. And I think I see the worst of it, of course, because it's not XR so we get a 5:00 "Witching Hour". Our dr suggested possibly giving him a half dose when he gets out of school, but I am worried it will interfere with his sleep. We've tried melatonin and he manages to fight off the effects.

 

[packetminnie]

My DS10 has Aspergers and ADHD. He has taken Adderall, which worked ok but we would have meltdowns every evening, Focalin (cried and raged all the time), Strattera (did nothing for him), and finally Daytrana Patches. Daytrana works great for him, it wears off gradually and there are no valleys and peaks during the day or evening. He went from receiving 1s & 2-s (3 is best) for time utilization to 3s. DS's psych wants to try the new Vancenase but we are afraid to mess with such good results.

 

[KirstenB]

I was just wondering, for those of you with older kids- did you notice specific problems when your kid started to get older?

DS is 10 (11 next month) and is on Adderall, 12 1/2 mg a day, which I think is a pretty low dose. It doesn't seem to be working as well as last year. But he grew quite a bit over the summer, he's bigger now, so one thought was that the dosage wasn't right now. But I don't want to increase it. Then I had more than one friend with *boys* tell me that 10 was a really rough age. DS is definately starting puberty, he's getting hair and his voice is starting to change.

He's pretty grumpy and not violent but gets mad easily. I'm not sure if it's the Adderall or the Hormones. But. His grades are in good shape. But the teacher has had to move him to the front of the room, already, and regularly taps on his desk so he'll quit gazing out the window. And I think I see the worst of it, of course, because it's not XR so we get a 5:00 "Witching Hour". Our dr suggested possibly giving him a half dose when he gets out of school, but I am worried it will interfere with his sleep. We've tried melatonin and he manages to fight off the effects.

Our older dd takes 36 mg of Concerta. She's always been kind of high strung and moody, so no difference there. It took us several experiments of doses to figure out how much she needs. For the first time since 2nd grade, she's making A's and B's. This is her first year on the higher dose.

 

[poohguys]

Work as close as you can with his teacher. We has some what similar situation with our DS last year. Had an okay year in kindergarten, then 1st grade was a really rough start! Phone calls and notes several times a week for the first month and a half of school. His teacher last year was great! DS is just very hyper/impulsive no anger issues. We ended up going to his Ped. (who also happens to be neurologist) and he was put on the Daytrana Patch. It was such an improvement. The patch does seem to take longer than it used to to start working in the morning. We put it on him by 7:15 so when he gets on bus at 8:45 it should have kicked in. The only other caution that I have a bout the patch is that if it is not stuck on really well it will start to roll up and he will not be receiving the full dose of medication and you will notice a differance in behavior.

Friends DS had a lot of anger issues last year and after a lot of trail and error finally seems to be on the right mix of mnedications. The dr ended up diagnosing him with about 4 different thing the least of witch being ADHD. Is your son's dr sure that it is just ADHD and that there is not another issue there too. I also agree to check out the food allergies/intollerances. These can have a bigger effect than you think. I try to limit the amount of artificial colors DS gets.

Sorry so long...good luck

 

[slk537]

Thank you all so much for your help!!!

UPDATE:

DS continued to have a number of bad days - lots of power struggles with the teacher and he would have meltdowns and outbursts every day, but no more aggression towards anyone thanks to the new med dose. I kept getting emails, phone calls, etc. The last straw came last Wednesday when she called me at home and told me he had been squirrelly during Mass Practice (playing with kneelers, climbing under pews, getting classmates distracted) and the principal said that if he did the same thing during actual mass, every time he would be sent home.

That meant that my almost 7 year old 1st grader would have to sit still for an hour first thing in the am every week and 40 minutes first thing in the am every other week or be sent home each time for the whole day. Because his teacher would often do communion and leave the kids alone and "a first grader should be able to sit still for an hour". I was told that FOUR times. NO suggestions were asked for and none were made. He would sit stil for an hour or be sent home, end of story.

The next day (Thursday) after school we met with the principal and teachers at the public school and signed enrollment forms. Friday, DS got upset when his teacher wouldn't let him have an index card (it was something small that was very important to him and she considered it another "power struggle" so she wouldn't give in). I was called to come get him. DH went over to pick him up, let them know we were pulling him out and got his things.

This week he started at his new school and we have had NO meltdowns, NO outbursts, NO aggression...NOTHING! Same dose of meds, same classroom size, NO issues. We have had daily emails from his teacher saying "he was well behaved, made great choices, love having him here, another good day, way to go DS!" He has made friends, has completely enjoyed gym and was "caught doing something respectful, safe and honest" three times this week and earned an extra recess next week because of it.

We are absolutely floored by the change and so happy!

This new teacher is more laid back and has taught children with ADHD and ADD before. She used the phrase "sometimes they can't help acting the way they do" which indicates she understands that ADHD can be no different than any other disability. It is shown in behavior, but that doesn't mean that the child always has complete control. She doesn't shy away from accomodations for him and hasn't once said "it isn't fair to the other children...I don't have an aide so I can't help him...a first grader should be able to (insert whatever here)". She had three chapter books from the library for him on his first day to keep in his desk so he has something to do when he finishes work before the other kids. DS seems to feel like he is just like every other child in the room instead of worrying about being stared at, and that is what we wanted for him.

We are still seeing the child pyschiatrist, still looking into different med options, still saw the therapist/counselor yesterday, still rewarding for good behavior. His birthday is next week and I can't tell you all how relieved I am that he will have his special day in an atmosphere that makes him feel accepted and happy instead of the other school.

And as for academics, he is going to be evaluated for the G&T program once he gets used to routines and his teacher keeps him busy and challenged so he will actually get a better education than the cookie cutter he was getting at the private school. And today, when tuition does NOT get paid, we will see one more benefit.

Thank you all again for the compassion and the advice. I know it won't be a perfect year, but when you have two weeks of Very Bad followed by one week of Very Good and the main difference is the location and personnel we have to conclude it isn't all him...part of the issue at least was them.

BIG sigh of relief!

 

[Schmeck]

Well, you've basically pointed out the differences between privately run schools and public ones - private ones have the ability to not deal with stuff they don't want to deal with. They can just make the family miserable until they leave. Of course, not all private schools do this.

I hope your son continues to have such great success! Sounds like you already understand that it might just be a honeymoon period, but I'm sending positive vibes ~~~~~ that he continues to thrive!

 

[Selket]

The move sounds like the right option for him and you - I hope you continue to have such a positive experience! Sometimes even getting the right teacher makes all the difference.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Excellent update! I'm so glad to hear the new school is working out. It could be that he was a little traumatized in the private school and now he's happy to be out of that environment. If he was constantly treated with negativity, it could really affect his outlook and his behavior.

We did the opposite with our son last year - went from a public school to a specialized, private school (program for Asperger's). Our son was treated poorly at the public school by people who didn't understand him or want to deal with him. They treated him like a bad kid instead of a kid with special needs. It sounds like the same thing was happening to your son. When our son was removed from the negative environment, he did a complete 180! He calmed down and was much happier and more cooperative.

I hope the new school continues to work out for your family!

 

[barkley]

the right school can make all the difference.

our ds is realy fortunate to be enrolled in a small private school that DOES work with him/us to his best interests. the big advantage for him is that his class size has always been much smaller than what most consider the norm-anywhere from as few as 6 kids to his current 19. the smaller class size provides less noise and distractions which realy help in his efforts to stay on task.

good luck in the new school-sounds like the teacher is a keeper.

 

[1stluvispooh]

I'm glad you changed school. I too was an ADD kid and my parents insisted that I go to the Catholic school with my brother and sister who did not have any difficulties. Needless to say this was great for my siblings but not for me. I will never forget my mom saying my SENIOR YEAR, which was hell. "Maybe we should have let you go to the public school" Gee ya think Fast forward to today. I have been blessed with 2 children of my own and my DD is ASD. My mother still doesn't understand why I haven't sent my kids to Catholic school. Hello it wasn't the place for me all those years ago what makes you think they can deal with an ASD kid??? Then she would say. Why don't you send DS. Call me selfish but I want both my kids at the same school. It is a small thing that will make my life easier. They are both thriving in school so I don't second guess the decision that DH and I have made.