school dress code/ uniforms....kinda long

[powellrj]

But see, I still do not see the issue. I have done BOTH sides of the fence. Why can't your kids, especially boys, wear the school uniforms to church? That is what most do in my area. DS no longer *has* to wear the polos and Khakis to school, but will. He also wears them on the golf course and to family functions that require him to look nicer then in his basketball shorts and tshirts.

this is where it gets sticky. People assume that everyone is like they are. We attend a contemporary christian type church where even the youth minister wears cargo pants on sunday. We have over 100 kids attend on sunday and not all go to our school district so they will be wearing regular clothes to church and our kids want to be too.

My kids don't play golf and would never be on a golf course. You will find them whitewater rafting or hiking or at a movie because drama and choir are the things they like to do. If cargo shorts and jeans aren't acceptable he will be wearing a suit which is what he prefers to wear for nicer outings.

While dockers and polos may be what your family wears, its not what DS and his friends wear and its wrong for people to assume that because its what they prefer to wear, its ok for everyone to wear. DS is 6ft tall and weighs 135 pounds and he hates the way dockers look on him. DD had the opposite problem, she has no waist and they make her look heavier than she is. People say how nice the kids look, but I don't agree. Unless you have the shape for the clothes, they really aren't made for everyone.

Like I said, this is where it gets sticky, you are telling me I am wrong for how I feel, just because I don't feel the sameway you do. I think its great that your family prefers to dress that way, but for people to assume that everyone agrees with them is where it gets heated.

I agree there need to be boundaries and guidelines, but to tell the kids what style and color they have to wear and the manner in which they have to wear them is over stepping what a public school needs to be doing. They are there to educate our kids, not to be the dress code patrol. Telling them they have to wear belted pants on the waist and a shirt with a collar is one thing, but to tell them they must be a docker type pant in navy, black or tan is overstepping. Tell the girls the dresses must be knee length is one thing, but to tell them no dresses, only skirts with a tucked in shirt is overstepping.

I pretty much decided I will agree to disagree with people on the subject. I think its a wrong decision, I don't like it, but I will follow the rules because thats what I need to do as a citizen, but as a citizen I can also vote in the next election to vote the dress code people out of office. If nothing else, its an expensive civics lesson!

 

[Jaklackus]

You may want to read through the school handbook...my son just started kindergarten and they have the whole collared shirt in colors A, B or C with khaki, black or Navy pants/shorts or blue denim...but there are exceptions made for religion or you can wear a pin, button or armband stating 'free speech' (which I think is ridiculous) and you can wear whatever you want within reason..there are also exceptions made for those who cannot afford the school uniform.

 

[brymolmom]

I went to a uniformed school K - 8 and a non-uniformed public school 9 - 12...I would love it if my kids' school would do it.

I skimmed some of the posts, but one thing I didn't see touched upon was the potential for EMOTIONAL harmony.

Just think - a middle or high school can be the epitome of a teenagers fears - what if I'm not saying teh right things? What if I'm not walking the right way? What if they pick on me because I can't hit or throw a ball? What if they laugh because I like to play the tuba? And so on and so on....just think of it - you can REMOVE the constant 'what if this shirt really doesn't go with these pants?' question. Now, granted, some new school uniforms don't do this - you need a true uniform (not code) - all girls wear this or that and all boys where this or that - the same brand, the same cost, etc.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think that uniforms are going to create harmony among all - but wouldn't it be great if the 'have's and have-not's' didn't immediately congregate toward the ones in the same category? What if they have to actually talk to someone and get to know them a little to identify the likes and dislikes and similarities that might be there even if their household income are at different ends of the spectrum? It gives everyone a little more 'equal playing ground' so that more attention can be paid (as it should be) to growing and learning.

My experience having lots of conversations on this topic is that those who 'have' (as in - you're able to buy name brands and the newer trends and it isn't a fear that your child is going to school in what might be viewed as 'substandard') tend to really dislike the idea - but those who have not (and constantly struggle with sending their kids to school in hand-me-downs and whatever they can find that they can afford) - like the idea a lot - you buy 2 outfits and your child will FIT IN (at least in terms of clothing) - because everyone will be wearing what your child wears (which rarely or never happened prior to uniforms). So, no matter what your opinion is on this - for a minute - put yourself in someone else's shoes and think about how you would feel if you had no choice but to send your child to school in clothes you KNOW aren't 'in' every day....wouldn't it be nice if everyone could feel comfortable with what they're sending their kids in.

 

[Mean Queen]

My DD's school just went to mandatory uniforms. It was not a countywide change, just a schoolwide change. The vote was 72% for uniforms. I was not one of the ones who voted for it. I wasn't happy about twice the back to school clothes costs and I'm not happy about twice the laundry. I just spent a good part of this weekend trying to make sure she had enough uniforms clean to get her through the first few days of the week. Sorry I'm not helping you feel better about your possible change, but I do want you to know you aren't alone in how you feel. Unfortunately, too many other people seem to believe that uniforms will help solve all their problems, when in reality it's more parental involvement that is needed in the schools, not a change in clothes.

ETA: Our uniforms is limited to khaki or navy bottoms (no designs, no extra pockets/cargo style) and navy, hunter green, or light blue collared tops or turtle necks. That's it. No white shirts. My DD was telling me about kids she noticed who only had a few uniforms which made me realize the poor kids are now standing out more than before because of the added cost. Plus, you still have the people who buy their uniforms at Gap vs. Walmart so the "label" issue still exists. There are consequences for failing to comply, and I have not found any way for someone to opt out.

While I know many like uniforms, many don't. Not everyone likes the same thing, and not everyone likes to look the same way.

 

[starbaby0103]

My DD's school just went to mandatory uniforms. It was not a countywide change, just a schoolwide change. The vote was 72% for uniforms. I was not one of the ones who voted for it. I wasn't happy about twice the back to school clothes costs and I'm not happy about twice the laundry. I just spent a good part of this weekend trying to make sure she had enough uniforms clean to get her through the first few days of the week. Sorry I'm not helping you feel better about your possible change, but I do want you to know you aren't alone in how you feel. Unfortunately, too many other people seem to believe that uniforms will help solve all their problems, when in reality it's more parental involvement that is needed in the schools, not a change in clothes.

AMEN!

I still haven't heard anything to convince me it's a good thing...I know it would have caused more trouble in my household then just letting me wear my own clothes. And I totally sympathize with the short-waisted, bigger frame issues....I still refuse to tuck shirts in!! And it doesn't matter where I am....I know that would have made me feel much more uncomfortable than worrying about the brands I (or my friends) were wearing.

 

[englishteacha]

I think I can see both sides of the issue here. I was the kid who was picked on for not having brand name clothing, and I desperately wanted uniforms. However, I like having choices in my wardrobe, and sometimes I feel like wearing certain outfits instead of others. I've already begun to think about what I'll wear on the first day of school. I want to look professional but approachable, friendly, but not too friendly....

As a teacher, I think uniforms would make my life a bit easier. When a 14 year old boy walks into your classroom with a shirt that says, "Cheerleader Inspector: Let me see your pom poms," I wonder if that's really OK. There's a lot that can be read into that! When the male teacher across the hall calls me to his room to address a young lady in a very short skirt who isn't sitting ladylike, or I have to have a "signal" with the girls to adjust their clothing to cover everything, I wish for uniforms! While we have a pretty strict dress code, what's deemed offensive to one adult might be considered funny to another; what is trendy to one person could seem pretty darn provocative to another. When our principal adjusted the rules to say, "No undergarments should be visible," (figuring that would rule out low riding pants and visible bras) we had kids stop wearing undergarments!! While I don't think plaid skirts are the answer, I would be very supportive of a basic dress code/uniform: jeans (or other pants) and a solid T, polo, or button-down shirt that all can be tucked in, . If they want to wear their pants hanging low, they better find a REALLY long shirt!!

 

[dmillerdmd]

Spent a total of $36.50 for school uniforms tis year for my dd and ds in 5th grade parochial school. In the beginning it IS difficult but now with uniform exchange, friends with older kids, parents club transfers on the "walmart" sweatshirts. it is incredible. Yes, I realize my kids are only 10 and we have not reached the tween angst yet, but I just don't see it it in the older kids either. Uniforms in my opinion are "THE GREAT EAQUALIZER!" There are many large sized girls in the upper grades who are probably very difficult to fit, but the kids seem to adapt just fine. We had just the opposite problem, with too small waist and long legs. Now K-Mart in our area has adjustable waist in larger sizes. Even the Dollar Store had a uniform section this year! (love those $5 shirts) Just wait, the retailers will catch up. When my twins were little, I dressed them so cute and all that. But now I feel this is SCHOOL-all about learning and preparing for the future. If I can remove any distractions, I'm all for it.
I am a bit embarassed to say that the money is not much of an issue for us, but my background and the way I was raised will never let me leave that mindset. However, I had an employee (and friend) tell me not too long ago that she had maxed out her CC on "the kids clothes for school". These are 4 of the most beautiful children in the world, but she felt it was necessary to do that in elem/middle school. It almost made me cry.
To the poster. Granted, we are not in the same position at all. We CHOSE a parochial shool and knew the rules from the get-go. However, think about your reasons for opposing the uniforms. You keep mentioning hard to fit and doesn't want to tuck the shirt in. This makes me think that you may be worried WAY too much. As I said, we have girls of all sizes, and believe me when I volunteer playground duty, the clothing is NEVER mentioned!!! Those junior high girls find way more to talk about!
Good luck, and hope you take what I have said with all due respect. We had many parents NOT happy with the change in our school a few years ago. Somehow, the kids are fine! Kids are pretty amazing. I can honestly say that my kids have many ways to express themselves, I just prefer clothing to not be one of them. (yes, they do have other clothes for play and other events-but pretty few)
Just my input, but please think about it!

 

[mjantz]

But see, I still do not see the issue. I have done BOTH sides of the fence. Why can't your kids, especially boys, wear the school uniforms to church? That is what most do in my area. DS no longer *has* to wear the polos and Khakis to school, but will. He also wears them on the golf course and to family functions that require him to look nicer then in his basketball shorts and tshirts.

My kids do not wear their uniforms to church. Our church is very casual (pastor has been known to wear blue jeans & cowboy boots to preach) so DS usually wears a religious-themed t-shirt & shorts/pants. He'll also wear some polos or button up shirts but nothing that even looks close in color to his uniforms. DD dresses up more but also does not wear her uniforms to church. I do ask them to dress up when we visit grandparents' churches & at Easter & Christmas but other than that, I figure their presence is more important than their appearance.
I like uniforms but I do understand why some don't. Our policy is much stricter than some (can only buy from 1 specific store) but not intolerable.
If you want to fight it, I'd do it from a money point of view. Figure up how much it would cost you to add to your kids wardrobe to make it policy-ready & present that to the board. If you can get several friends to go along with you & make a chart of some sorts showing several peoples average cost, you might have a chance to defeat it.

AFA the individually issue, I hear this a lot & I just don't see it. My current job has a policy that includes no shorts, spaghetti straps or short skirts & its preschool so really skirts in general are out. I still wear shorts, short-ish skirts & spaghetti strap tops, just not at school. I don't believe my job is stifling my individually. I also don't believe my kids individuality has been stifled by wearing specific clothes. My DD is a great artist & my DS is a great writer.
Both kids are welcome to change clothes once they get home from school. DD usually does but DS usually doesn't.

 

[patsal]

I know for a fact that in NYS any dress code really has no teeth. If pursued to the State Education level you will learn that these are suggestions and you have the right not to follow them. That said, I think there is reasonable and unreasonable, and I personally as a teacher and parent think a code is fine but uniforms are not something that I want to deal with. When a code is created it is for safety as well as health and learning standards (if someone is very distracting , etc.) This just means that all underware should be covered skirts and shorts should hit the fingertips when arms are outstretched, no bare midrifs, no "wife beaters", no lewd, graphic or offensive sayings and no alcohol, tobacco, drugs referenced. To be honest not all teachers are careful in monitoring what some kids wear-I have caught dress code violations during 9th period and had kids say no one said anything to them all day--well, I'm saying it now so go fix or go to the office--anyway, uniforms a whole different debate, but personally I don't support them and would pursue it to prevent it for my own children and I'd be very lax in enforcing it at work.

 

[sconnell]

I've read most of the posts on this thread and I just wanted to add that the color coded dress codes are popular for the public schools here. They go with the school colors. One of the biggest benefits is students can't wear gang colors. Or if they are wearing a certain color, it's because of school dress codes and not a gang association.
Older children could be wearing the "wrong color" unknowingly and be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's sad, but the truth is that gangs are not just in big inner cities.
So, my point is, this may be another reason.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

I see both sides of the issue as well...

My DS just started middle school this year. He has always been a picky, picky dresser- to the point where he drives me CRAZY! And as much as someone used the typical, "I'm the parent" line- well, there comes a point where having to USE that line every morning gets tiresome!

He is now going to a school with uniforms. Polo shirts- white or navy and khaki pants. I could only find three pairs of pants in his size at the stores we shopped at- so he has 5 new shirts and 3 pairs of pants and I'll pick up a few more as the year goes along, I'm sure. (I'm already doing laundry constantly- so that's not a big deal).

DD- she's still going to the elementary school without a dresscode. She is ALSO my easy dresser. High School musical tshirt? Check! $10 pair of Crocs (got a good deal!) or $30 pair of Skechers? She doesn't care- either or! I love shopping for her and I love the fact that she enjoys wearing her clothes to school- I'll be sad when she gets to MS and ends up wearing uniforms.

I understand the issue with finding the right size uniform and I understand the issue of getting just the right 'fit'. I'd think for certain people, school uniforms will cost more if you want them to fit just right- you'll probably need to get them tailored or whanot. That- I think you should be able to request the school foot the bill- if it's required and you HAVE to spend more because of your child's body shape- well... I guess the school should suck it up.


Oh- also- my DS's middle school- they have school uniforms, pants and tops, for $15!!! That's TOGETHER! I might send some cash and see if he can't just pick up another 2 sets from there versus shopping individually at the stores

 

[spima3]

Spent a total of $36.50 for school uniforms tis year for my dd and ds in 5th grade parochial school. In the beginning it IS difficult but now with uniform exchange, friends with older kids, parents club transfers on the "walmart" sweatshirts. it is incredible. Yes, I realize my kids are only 10 and we have not reached the tween angst yet, but I just don't see it it in the older kids either. Uniforms in my opinion are "THE GREAT EAQUALIZER!"

Have to agree here totally. I spent $80.00 on new uniforms this year for three kids! This was spent on pants for the almost 13 yr old DD at Aeropastale, and the 10 yr old DS who is really hard on pants. School mornings and the school year have gotten so much easier since they instituted the uniform policy. LOVE IT.

No fighting in the mornings, all the kids look neat and respectable, everybody pretty much looks the same, which I think is terrific. With a high number of low income kids in the district, most could not dress like the privileged few.
And once the kids realize this is the way it is, they are fine with it.
I find the ones who have the problems are the parents, and if their kids don't care, I really don't understand what their issues are with it.

My kids start tomorrow, YIPEE. They have been incredibly bored the past few weeks and are thrilled to be going back, well the girls are anyway; two out of three isn't bad, though.

lori

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Oh you know- I wanted to comment on this...

Sometimes, you can't win no matter what when it comes to clothes- so uniforms ARE kinda nice. My DD wore the brands Candies, Skechers, and a few other nice brands Kohl's carries to school last year- well, IMHO, they are nice clothes- just not extremely pricey. My daughter got teased because everyone else was wearing... Walmart brands! UGH! (Her school has a lot of lower income families too). Soooo- uniforms would make our life a bit easier with her, although I DO enjoy dressing her up a bit since she's my only girl! LOL!

 

[eliza61]

This is always a tough decision for a school district to make. I'm in the inner city and school uniforms have done wonders. Unfortunately for a lot of teens how you dress definitely defines you. It is a tremendous influence on the kids. Since my school has gone to uniforms/dress codes, our incidents of gang violence/bullying has gone way down.

 

[joha]

My kids attend a public high school where uniforms are mandatory (well, almost, parents can sign a waiver form). I personally like uniforms, my only complaint is that they are only allowed to wear pants (no capris or long uniform shorts). In the Miami sun and heat, I think this is ludicrous.

 

[kathi29]

Our district implemented a uniform policy several years ago for elementary and middle schools. There was such an uproar that they added in an opt-out for anyone who requested it. I guess the first year there was about 95% compliance in the elementary schools, quite a bit less in middle. A couple years later it was down around 50% and nobody even cared if you filled out the opt-out form. Now uniforms are pretty much nonexistent across the board.

 

[RacingPrincess]

This is quite a subject. I will say my children by our choice go to "Parochial School" which we work very hard to send them to, I also pay a ton of taxes for a school I do not utilize.

I know that the uniforms matter more to some parents than others.... but isn't school for learning, not a fashion show? I am more concerned with the quality of the school and teachers and what my children are being taught rather than the uniforms.

We have found it has saved us money having to buy the uniform and I have a son that is very, very hard to fit with clothes, but I deal with it.

As far as the uniforms I like them, they to help the kids that don't have money not feel bad because they cannot afford those name brands. My daughter was not happy about it at first, but now she likes it.

Just my thoughts..... no flaming please.....