Scared to tell family about DFTW?

[lurkyloo]

This happens all the time: a desperate Disney bride posts here that her family members are complaining about having to go to WDW for her wedding, and all the nice ladies on this board reassure her that she should follow her heart and have the wedding she wants.

Well now we're at the point where we need to tell our families - who are all in California - that we want to get married at WDW, and I'm terrified! I can handle my three guests' grumbling and eye-rolling, but I'm afraid DF's family is going to complain so much that he'll give in and we'll have to get married in his family's tiny backyard, or something.

So I guess now I need reassurance, funny stories - anything to help me get up the courage to tell everyone....

 

[Chantelle]

Can you be sure his family is going to complain about it? I was afraid of my fiances parents reaction and they were awesome about it. They are the kind of people who wouldn't complain or grumble about anything, but I was afraid they might be a little upset by it and I really didn't want to offend them.

I think it may surprise you that some of the people you think will be totally supportive end up giving you a hard time and those who you don't think will be in agreeance may end up being the most supportive.

 

[cryssi]

when we were originally going to have a WDW wedding, my mom said pretty much that only she and my dad, my sister and brother would probably go from our side, since WDW is a lot to ask of family members (all in california). DH and I are both from here and all our family is here, so that's how we ended up at DL. It was a lot easier for our family to travel from northern ca here. Also, my grandparents were able to attend my wedding, which meant a lot to me (my grandpa recently passed away, which made his attendance all that more special...he definitely wouldn't have made it to FL).

Now, our DL wedding was just amazing, and we had a DCA reception, so it was way cool. It all worked out and it was a whole lot of fun. My only regret about not doing it in WDW is the MK photo shoot...

Our friends were more excited about going to florida for the wedding than family, I think. But you know how friends are...they can be flaky, so don't count on them.

Just be prepared for some family members not to come. I'm not saying that they won't, in fact, more people may want to go than you think...but don't let that influence your decision...it is your wedding, after all, so you should do what makes you happy. Make the decision, be firm, and those that truly matter will come! Good luck!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

Im sorry your feeling so scared about being so excited about the wedding of YOUR dreams....talk about mixed emotions

anyway....I still think you should go with what you want & not be pressured into what you dont want

ex: me, dh, mom & moms ex at my DFTW. No one else & DHs family is HUGE(8brothers & sisters plus all their kids) & it was the BEST time ever...thats why i still talk about it even after 10yrs!!!

my girlfriend: had wedding pd for & planned by her mother. Was over the top & beautiful...but...& Im quoting her "it wasnt my wedding, it was my moms"

I hope you kinda get what im trying to say

I really wish you get your dream wedding
GL

& you can always come here to vent/ask for help

 

[PrincessBride07]

Just remember whoever is supposed to be there will be there, and who is not won't be. You will have issues with family about your wedding no matter what you choose.

BTW my family might have been upset if I wasn't doing a DFTW, because they know how much I love that place.

 

[cavecricket]

I have this same problem!

While I love my extended family, I just cannot justify spending so much money on a soso wedding here in Rhode Island when I can spend a comparable amount on a fantastic dream wedding in WDW that would mean so much more to me.



I decided to have a huge reception back home before we go down to WDW to get hitched...that way it feels to everyone like they are sending us off on our honeymoon, we will have all the same features as a regular post ceremony reception and I will wear a very basic $99 Davids bridal gown ( save the actual for the ceremony )

We considered just waiting and having the ceremony when we get home but decided it just wouldnt feel "right" not leaving the reception for WDW!

Hey you know what...Im the bride...and so far EVERY wedding I have ever attended has been all about what the bride wanted...mines just a tad untraditional! lol

plus so far in my family very few people even attended the ceremony but instead showed for the reception only so to me its no different!!


CANNOT WAIT !!!!

Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Dremwvr]

Dont worry, as everyone already pretty much said, we have all had these fears. In my situation my wedding is at DLR and I was afraid my DF family would not be able to attend because of financial reasons. At first they were a little distraught about the disneyland wedding idea since they are mostly not theme park people, they don't want to spend THAT much money on just a wedding, and all of the far awayfamily members have a severe fear of flying.


His family said they would do their best to all show, and in the mean time we decided to not makea "bride side" "groom side" typw of ceremony since orginally we thought the wedding would be more one sided of my family. Now that we are talking to people (they have known/planned for 6 months now) there is going to be more of his family that will show than mine.

All in all, it is your day you are having your special day at WDW for you. if family don't show, then it just wasn't ment for them to be there. But even if they don't show it is still going to be extremely special and one great party! And if nothing else your relatives will be talking about your spectacular wedding for years to come and those who didn't show will be kicking themselves later!

 

[lurkyloo]

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone! I'm secretly hoping that very few people will come (we're having an Escape wedding), but considering his immediate family is seven people, it's still going to be at the upper end of the guest limit.

Cryssi - I would *love* to have an in-park wedding at Disneyland like yours! But it looks like even DL's new "Escape"-style wedding option costs 3 times as much as it would cost to fly out to WDW for an Escape wedding

You guys are all so great to cheer me up!

 

[Raspberry Bubbles]

I completely agree - we're in the UK and I know that my family will all be talking about how I should be having the wedding in the local church and then down the social club, and at first I felt guilty, but then I realised that it was OUR day, not theirs - and we'll be looking back at it in our old age together, not them, and after all is said and done, people are there for YOU, this isn't for them.

I know this sounds quite mean, but I can't imagine that any of my family planned their wedding thinking "what will SHE think" and so I'm not planning my wedding giving undue concern to what they will think. If they love you, and know you, then they'll understand. I was worried about my parents, but they understood. They took me to Disney when I was 10 and I still, at 31, remember every tiny detail as if it was yesterday. They're as poor as church mice, but are completely dedicated to getting us to Disney to make my dreams come true.

 

[cryssi]

Oh, should have put DLR...lol. As much as we wanted a castle wedding, we just couldn't do it. Our ceremony was at the RCG, but reception was in the sun plaza at DCA...there's nothing quite like being in a Disney park after hours for your party... When you consider the cost, we figured it wasn't much more than if we had a reception in a nice hotel! Crazy, I know...lol

However, we had about 125 guests, which is a bit more than you will have... LOL

 

[cinderella0712]

I had the same problem. I focus on making this a special day for me & my DF. We are having an escape wedding and reached the maximum number. I was very surprised of those who I thought would come are actually coming.

 

[AbbyPan]

It would take too long for me to write all the drama that I've put up with, BUT, fast forward and here I am, over 2 months before the wedding, and i couldn't be any happier that I've just ignored the negative comments from certain people.

The funny thing is that the people I thought would give me the hardest time are the ones that are actually excited to go...and now I even have family asking if they can go- can you believe that?!?!?

Well, just want you to know that many of us have had that same fear, but because former brides have pulled through, they have been able to have the wedding that they truly want.

You should have the wedding that you want...and we all support you here, so its not just you and your DF

 

[Janell]

Just know it will all work out and to make the day for you and DF.

I like everyone else had drama. My soon to be in-laws are from Canada and where we are in Ca. They all complained that it wasn't in Ca. DF wrote an email stating a few reason why we were doing it in FL and not in CA. But most of all he said it was my dream of haoing photos in front of the castle and he wasn't going to mess with that. We knew we could do a photo shoot here too, but the cost is just to high for us.

Also when people have asked me why WDW, I tell them the locations are great, the cost in a lot of ways is good, there are some things that are over the top, but you don't have to do them. And you get more for your buck. If I did it here at a non-disney location, it would have cost more and it would have been hard to plan. Disney make it easy to plan.

I hope everything goes well. And I too had it where the people I thought would be upset weren't and the ones that shouldn't have been upset were. So go figure. Just remind yourself its your day and you DF day and you only do this once.

 

[lurkyloo]

Thank you all! I am feeling better about things after your nice comments.... Who knows - maybe in a few weeks I'll be posting on here about how tons of people want to come to my wedding and I can't accomodate them all!

 

[mushumadness]

I am going though nearly the same thing,

except it6s about hotels lol, we are now staying at the grand floridian for 14 nights kindly paid for by my parents but its causing friction because we are not at the same hotel as some other people

I can see this being a stressful six months

 

[CdnDisneyBride08]

I know how you feel! We were planning on getting married in the Dominican Republic and when I told my family that about 6 months ago, it didn't really go over too well. So when we finally decided that we wanted to have a wedding at WDW I was scared beyond belief to tell anyone. I researched like crazy on the internet to find out all about prices of hotels, flights, tickets, basically any and all information I could find out about WDW so that when I told my family I could show them that it really can be an affordable vacation. (The money was what I was worried about.)
I put off telling them as long as possibly could and one day I finally got the courage to tell them. Well before I could even pull out my folder with all my information they were all excited saying that this was by far the best idea we've had yet! I didn't even need to convince them. So you never know. They might just surprise you. And even if they do react negatively to your news, this for you and your future husband and the two of you need to do this for yourselves, no one else. And if it's what you want, go for it!!!

 

[Janell]

I am going though nearly the same thing,

except it6s about hotels lol, we are now staying at the grand floridian for 14 nights kindly paid for by my parents but its causing friction because we are not at the same hotel as some other people

I can see this being a stressful six months

Why is it that guest want to know where your staying? DF family wanted to know where we are staying and I was like, what does it matter. We are open to the guest any day before the wedding and afterwards its our time. If we want to meet up with people, we will call there cell phones.