Scared of planes....seeking advice.

[Dylan_&_Blake's_mom]

I too hate to fly, but do it anyway. We have only ever had great experiences on the flights, but still I am terrified. I too take a rx for the flight. It does help. If only I could take it everyday up to and including the flight. I actually don't have a fear of flying, I have a fear of not being in control, dying, crashing. So I guess you could say I love to fly, just hate the other stuff.

Same here, I'm not scared of flying, it's the crashing that scares the crap out of me! LOL

I used to Love to Fly and actually wanted to be a flight attendant but now I get very nervous especially since I've had kids.

However, given the alternative of 3 days in the car I much rather fly 3 hours . I usually fly at least twice a year with my most recent flight 10 days ago. What has helped me so much is a book called "Flying without Fear" by Browne--- you can probably get it from Amazon.com.

It explains everything and give you coping techniques to use on the plane. It explains all the noises, take off, turbulence and air pockets etc. My biggest concern while flying is taking off- but the book take you through step by step so you know that after you actually take off and feel like you are falling it is actually suppose to feel that way. Its a great book.

While you are flying make sure you bring gum for the older kids and bottles for your younger one. When you take off and land pressure builds in your ears which is alleviated when you chew and swallow. A little girl on our last flight fell asleep and when she work up she had a terrible earache. But I have found that if we chew gum or suck a bottle we don't have a problem.

While you are on the plane, make sure you bring something that makes you relax. You may want to bring an ipod, hand held video game or even an audio book that will distract you to the fact that you are on a plane. A few years ago, when my flying anxiety really peaked, Song (Delta) had planes that had TV's and with the combination of the above book and the TV's flying became a breeze. I actually got so caught up in the trivia game I was playing against all the other passengers that I was so happy when they announced that Pres Bush was waiting to take off and we couldn't land until he did and we had to circle for about 20 minutes. (I was like Oh good I get one more chance to come in first) If you don't want to take a heavy duty drug to get you thru the flight you may relax just by taking an Advil. they used to help me relax preflight too. See what works for you in everyday stressful situations. Maybe a Latte calms you or a stiff drink!!

When pilots are asked what the most dangerous part of the flight is they all response ---the trip to the Airport!! And it is true. In the last month over 1 million planes have taken off and landed safely just in the US. Over 12 million flights per year!! Yes I know its make so much sense that flying is safe but it still causes so much anxiety. (I still am afraid, but have reduced my anxiety alot) Just think of it a transportation, Just like getting on a bus at Disney and being driven to the parks. Really, we all just hop on the bus and none of us knows anything about the bus drivers accident history or health history but we all don't fret about that -- And just how many bus drivers do we trust down in Disney? Same goes for substitute bus drivers we entrust with our kids. Or how about the Tower of Terror or the RnRC.

Since you have never flown, you may find that you absolutely LOVE it. Then you can help me next year prepare for my next flight!! GOOD LUCK!!

Wow, you gave me a lot of great advice, Thanks a bunch. I will definately try to find that book. It sounds like a good tool to help. I didn't know there were books for this type of thing. I will also do the gum/bottle thing. I definately wouldn't want their little ears hurting from the flight. Such good advice and wonderful encouragement, Thanks again!

Ok here's some crazy info that may put your mind at ease. Did you know that a plane on autopilot will recognize that its reached its destination and can put itself in a holding pattern waiting for hte pilot to take over and land? Planes have anti stall features that can save a plane when a pilot might not. A plane can coast for as much as 15 minutes and land without power. I am a regular flyer but every time I hear these stories I am amazed at just how advanced and yes SAFE planes really are.

As for your own flight, I say educate yourself about what scares you. It always makes me feel easier when I'm a girl with a plan. Stuff like count the seat backs between you and an exit, in case you can't see during an emergency. But ALL of your children tickets and put the baby in a FAA approved carseat for the flight (coffee pots are required to be strapped down, make sure your chilren are too). And of course dont forget the valume.

It is very nice to hear all of those facts, and reassuring. That is a good idea about counting the rows of seats. I also definately plan on seat belts for all.

I am also very fearful of flying. I started seeing someone about this issue in the hopes that I could fly on our next trip. My person has made me cd's to help me get through the anxiety. And it is really good to educate yourself about flying and planes. I have even taken several trips to the local airport to become familiar with the layout and the whole process and to watch planes land and take off. It seems to help.
There are also some really good sites on line where you can read about flying and overcoming your fear. One site is www.anxieties.com/flying.
Also, know you can get some help in medication form from your doctor if you need it.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
it is now one of my goals-so I can fly to Disneyland!!!

Thank you, I will check out that site for sure and that's a good idea about visiting the local airport, I think we should do that as a family. It would probably help me and the kids feel better.

Yep, fear of flying is totally, 100% irrational. When was the last commercial airplane that crashed where there were fatalities in the U.S.? When was the last fatal car accident? Fatal car accidents happen ALL the time all over the place.

I think what a lot of people have a problem with is the whole control thing. But when you're in a car, are you REALLY in control? Yeah, you can avoid accidents some of the time. If you're on an interstate (whcih would be a huge part of a drive to WDW from where we are) going 65-70 MPH and get into an accident, it's gonna be a BAD one most likely.

Do I love flying? Nope. As I've gotten older, I've gotten more and more anxious about flying. BUT, I'm actually even MORE anxious about driving. On a plane, I hate turbulence. But I can convince myself that turbulence is totally, 100% normal and can actually help the pilots fly the plane. And with the constant "hum" in the plane, I can usually doze off a little bit. My DD is now 5.5 but she flew at 3.5 and 4.5 years old - she did FANTASTIC. I think that helps me a ton.

With your kids, it is so VERY important to not let them see your fear. If I'm ever scared of something, I'll talk things through with her but really try not to seem fearful to her.

You can always medicate yourself. Talk to your doctor. Maybe he can prescribe somethign for you.

My friend and her family are flying to WDW for the first time later this year. Her husband has never flown and has been VERY scared. But she told him if he wanted to go back to WDW, they will NOT drive this time. So he has agreed to fly and will be taking something before the flight to calm his nerves. And they have two kids who have "lived in fear" of flying too, so they now have this ingrained.

I think taking that step and actually FLYING is going to help you overcome it (best way is to FACE your fear!) - you may never love to fly, and that's ok. But you will LOVE getting to your destination much quicker.

I will love getting there much quicker I'm sure, that's the only reason I'm going to try and do it. I am working really hard on trying to appear strong about flying so that my kids won't have the same problem. Acting strong and trying to convince them is actually helping me believe it also. Thanks for the advice.

As a nurse, I really can't recommend taking medication when you will need to be alert enough to look after your children, but what about doing some relaxation exercises at home, (find a happy place, as nemo's friends say) maybe through music or breathing exercises. Then while in the air, maybe put your hubby in charge of the kids, and get a seperate seat away from them, and pop in your ipod, and deep breathe your way to Florida.
Although, maybe having the children to take care of will distract you.

That's the only reason I was worried about taking any medicine. I want to be able to function just fine for my kids, I would just like to relax. I was going to inquire more with those who have taken it and see just how it affects most people. I am trying to find other ways of coping also. Everyone on here is a lot of help.Thanks for the advice.



THANK YOU ALL SOOOOO MCUH!!!!! I KNEW THAT I COULD COUNT ON EVERYONE HERE AT THE DIS! YOUR ADVICE, ENCOURAGEMENT AND UNDERSTANDING ARE GREATLY HELPING ME TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE ISSUE. I HOPE YOU KEEP IT COMING AS EVERY SENTENCE I READ MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER. ALSO, I WILL UPDATE THIS IF I DO TAKE THE FLIGHT AND LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW IT WENT. THANKS AGAIN, YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL!!!

 

[stacy6552]

Ok, Mom, if it helps to have a plan, here are some other things I would suggest: If DH is a good flyer, put him next to the baby, preferably between the baby and the 7 year old. If there is an emergency, he will probably be able to handle the baby better, and you can handle the older more independant child. Don't wear shoes that could come off your feet like flip-flops. If there's an evacuation, you dont want to do it barefoot. Count seatbacks. Ummm what else. Try and get a seat assignment close to an exit. In the great debate of where is the safest place to sit on a plane (front v back v wing), those closest to any exit always do the best.

Oh and here's another fact, I remembered for you. When a 747 crashlanded, they evacuated all 350-ish passengers in less than 40 seconds.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I don't love to fly, but it is necessary. I will not sacrifice DAYS of my vacation in the car. It is about a 2.5 hour flight for us to get to WDW, almost 24 if we drive.

Take-off is the worst for me, but since we have been going to WDW I have DS to worry about. I can't show him that I am afraid, or he will come completely unglued. He was 8 when we went the first time, and now he is 12. If he is afraid of the plane I don't know about it.

I do not take medication because if there is an emergency I want my wits about me!

I always sit as close to the front of the plane as I can, but that is just a personal preference. There isn't one area that is "safer" than another because every crash is different. There was something on TV recently where they talked about different crashes and in every one there were survivors in different sections of the plane - it is random based on the particular circumstances.

I kind of think if it is time for you to go you will go, whether you are on a plane or on the ground.

 

[Jakesmom504]

I too am terrifiedto fly! I haven't been on a plane since our honeymoon in 2000 and since we were still recouping from the wedding so it wasn't a big deal because we slept the whole time and we were stuck on the tarmac for 2 1/2 hours before take off b/c of bad storms! I know the chances of being in a plane crash are highly unlikely and much less than the chance of a car crash but it's the whole thing for me! It's the being confined, having absolutely no control and fear of being that high up in the sky. Like a previous poster said, ironically I actually like the taking off and landing, feels like a ride to me. It's being in the air I don't like. DH said NO WAY are we driving to WDW so if I don't fly, we don't go. I would be the first to get meds however DS will be 4 when we go and I want to be alert and oriented in case something should ever happen serious or not. I started to actually except the fact that I was going to be flying and it was going to be ok even though I will still be a nervous wreck but after hearing all the stories about SW airlines (which we were planning to use) now I'm totally freaking out again!

 

[MindyLuvsMickey]

DH is a pilot and flies several times a week. he's been flying since he was 15 . . . more than half his life at this point. They go through lots or rigorous training where safety is concerned. he always reassures me that is much safer to fly than it is to drive.

My son loves to fly, too, at this point. he is ready to start learning to fly the plane himself (at the ripe old age of 3! LOL)

 

[stacy6552]

My son loves to fly, too, at this point. he is ready to start learning to fly the plane himself (at the ripe old age of 3! LOL)

psst. ix-nay on the kids flying the ane-play. That's a story I didn't tell.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

My kids did alright on the flight, although if you ask DH he may say something different. The 7 yo did the best, but he's always been pretty low key. The 4yo was pretty antsy. He dropped his crayons a lot on the floor. DH said he will never let them bring them again. He also kept kicking the seat infront of him, inwhich that person said at the end of the flight "boy, your just full of energy aren't you" but DS4 has always been a very excitable kid. There was also a little bit of trouble on take off and landing with them fighting about who was in the window seat. Overall for a 3.5 hr flight, I think they were pretty well behaved. For our next trip I am only letting them take their Gameboy SPs with them. the biggest problem was just dealing with all of the stuff that was supposed to keep them entertained.
As far as how the Xanax affected me, I'd say that for the most part I was out of it. I was still able to put a bottle in DD's mouth on take off and landing and I was happy that she slept the rest of the flight. I think the best way to describe it is to compare it to being really buzzed to the point that if you really had to you could shake it off and sober up enough to function. But the point of taking the meds is to be out of it enough that the flight doesn't bother you, so see if your DH is willing to handle the kids otherwise that would be a real "buzz killer" if you had to be in control. I would take 1/2 a pill and hour before I got on the plane and then take the other half.
I have to agree with the pp that said the fear of flying was irrational, but still her fear. It is for me too. DH said that since I've flown now I should be alright, well he is way off. I'm still as scared as I was before the first time but now I know how to handle it. It's not so much a control thing as it is there is no ground under my feet thing.

 

[MommyBuzz909]

Flying isn't a big deal, I just freak out during the landing, and once we're safe, I'm all better. And it's not the flying part that scares me, it's those awful seats!! You would think with how much we paid, they could give us a little bit better of a seat )

 

[ellenmiele]

Hi
I hate to fly also!! Just get a prescription for Xanax and 20 minutes before you get on the plane, take one and you'll be asleep the entire time. I wake up when I get to Orlando. It's the only way to fly. (Otherwise, I'd never fly anywhere)!!

Xanax is my answer as well. And it doesn't totally put me sleep but it does relieve the anxiety. I have always had mild fear of flying but in the last 10 years or so it's bad and for about those same 10 years I would not get on a plane. We've had numerous trips to WDW and I really do not mind the 17 hour drive from NJ (given the alternative). We have even done the autotrain in the past but it is very expensive and now that our kids are older they handle the drive just fine. But...this past December we took at short trip to WDW because I really wanted to see the Christmas decorations and shows, etc and w/kids school schedules we couldn't add on the extra days for driving so DH and my parents (who went with us) convinced me to fly. Now I have to say that I did want our kids to have the experience of flying (they had never done it before) and I did NOT want my fears to rub off on them. So I really was a good sport about it although DH just looks at me and laughs every time we talk about it. On the way down I was a wreck - did not take enough Xanax - I think I greatly underestimated just how nervous I would be. But on the way back (having learned my lesson) I was much better (on a higher dosage). I am not embarassed to say that. I recognize my anxiety and I am very much aware that without medication I absolutely could not have done it. I probably won't fly again for another 10 years so the "fear of flying" programs people do for this anxiety probably would not work for me - and given the safety and effectiveness of the medications that are available for people like me with this problem, I'm fine with using medication when needed.

Of course fear of flying is irrational but that is, by definition, what a real anxiety disorder is - it's irrational. Maybe if I learned a little more about planes and flying I would feel better but I think there an equal chance that I'd feel worse. So for now, we'll be driving down in June and probably the trip after that as well. As for future trips...I think I'll probably fly again some day - but you can bet I won't do it without pharmacologic assistance!

 

[tyandbash]

I too am terrified to fly. Do I do it, yes...but every time I do I tell myself it will be the last. I just hate it so, and with every flight it does not get any easier. I really wanted to go to Disneyland last summer, but could not get myself to commit to a flight for that long (we live in NY). So, back we went to Disney World for the millionth time. And I was scared on that flight too!! I did finally get my DH to agree to driving to Orlando last February. I thought the trip was great, because when we do fly I actually have the worry of flying home, in the back of my mind the whole time we are there. And, by driving I was much more relaxed the whole time on vacation. Yes, I realize it is irrational, but it doesn't stop me from feeling this way. Anyway, DH said he is never driving again. If I want to go to DW I MUST fly to get there. I did bit the bullet and make reservations for California this summer. I am already worrying about it and do play to try Xanax, or else I just don't think I could handle it. My kids are 11, 8 and 5 and think I am sooooo funny for being scared. Yes, my fear is WELL KNOWN!! Anyway, no advice for you, but wanted you to know another person feels the same way!!

 

[Kimmumum]

I too do not like to fly but I do. It is better than sitting in a car for 18 hours (to WDW). My problem is the whole waiting part of the flight.....leaving the house 3 hours before the flight, going though security, waiting an hour to board the plane, waiting the 1/2 hour for take off etc. Once we lift off I am fine. I think the whole anticipation thing is just overwhelming for me. One time we were going down the tunnel to board the plane and the pilot was in front of us. I asked him "if is was his day". Without hesitation he said he didn't think so. I was good with that answer and the flight was fine. They wouldn't fly if they didn't think the plane was safe (at least that is what I tell myself!!)

When my boys were little (they are not 10 and 14) he told me to give them Robitussin and Tylenol before every flight. I know some people are against "drugging" their kids but there was a good reason. He said that the Robitussin opens up the ears and the Tylenol dulls the pain if there is any ear infection/fluid in the ears/start of anything. We did this until they were about 5 and had no problems. We have been on flights with babies whose ears hurt and I just felt sorry for them. Which I had something to help them.

As for things to bring for the kids.... I always brought lots of wipes. There are lots of germs in such small places so better safe than sorry. Also, they make crayons that are flat on one side. They worked perfect because they did not roll. We always make sure we have several snacks, gum, mints in our carryon. We bring the ipods, PSP's, movies/dvd player, suduko, magazines,
books etc. Just bring a variety so the kids don't get bored.

If I can fly so can you. People do it everyday (some more than once a day). It is well worth the time savings!!!! Go and have a good time

 

[MommyBuzz909]

Hit the bar at the airport - have a couple - and your plane trip will be worry free!!


I hope I don't get anything bad for that!!!