Savannah Guthrie’s mother missing

[mjkacmom]

I still can’t wrap my head around the bolded. I don’t have a fraction of the money Savannah has but I made sure my mom had a 24-hour live in helper when she was 84-years old like Nancy. Sure, mom might not want it at first, but she will be kicking herself forever for not insisting.

Because she should’ve know her mom was going to be kidnapped? My IL’s absolutely refused a live in, and we respected them enough to not force one, especially since they’d have to pay. My dad had one, 6 days a week, $1000 a week, she didn’t even drive so I’d have to bring him to appointments, and arrange for someone to sleep there Saturday nights. This was under the table, otherwise it would’ve cost a lot more. But he had dementia, so there was no choice. It sounds like the sister lived close and most likely saw her often. This is not Savannah’s fault.

 

[Imzadi]

I still can’t wrap my head around the bolded. I don’t have a fraction of the money Savannah has but I made sure my mom had a 24-hour live in helper when she was 84-years old like Nancy. Sure, mom might not want it at first, but she will be kicking herself forever for not insisting.

But, then there could have been a possibility of two people hurt or murdered. Especially if the able-bodied helper accidentally opened the door. The perpetrator didn't even know she had a Nest camera. He possibly would not have heard that she had live-in help.

We do know he had a stupidly holstered gun. It turns out the holster is even for a revolver and he had what looks like a semi-automatic. So, he may have felt emboldened even in your scenario.

 

[AustinTink]

Because she should’ve know her mom was going to be kidnapped? My IL’s absolutely refused a live in, and we respected them enough to not force one, especially since they’d have to pay. My dad had one, 6 days a week, $1000 a week, she didn’t even drive so I’d have to bring him to appointments, and arrange for someone to sleep there Saturday nights. This was under the table, otherwise it would’ve cost a lot more. But he had dementia, so there was no choice. It sounds like the sister lived close and most likely saw her often. This is not Savannah’s fault.

No one is saying it’s her fault. I’m saying an elderly woman with health issues, physical limitations and daily medication reliance should have had a live in, if the funds are there. Maybe she wouldn’t want it at first- my mom didn’t- but then she would come to appreciate it immensely the way my mom did.

 

[AustinTink]

But, then there could have been a possibility of two people hurt or murdered. Especially if the able-bodied helper accidentally opened the door. The perpetrator didn't even know she had a Nest camera. He possibly would not have heard that she had live-in help.

We do know he had a stupidly holstered gun. It turns out the holster is even for a revolver and he had what looks like a semi-automatic. So, he may have felt emboldened even in your scenario.

True, there is that possibility of both of them being harmed. But, then there is the possibility, if Nancy had been watched over time, the perp would know and existence of another person on the property might have been enough of a deterrent.

 

[VandVsmama]

Sometimes one has a conversation with someone, tells someone else - the wrong person hears about it - a little old lady lives alone in the middle of nowhere with a well known daughter.......

Random robber - but backpack would be empty..I would think

Someone hired him to take her

So many scenarios

The part of Tucson that Nancy Guthrie lives is not in the middle of nowhere.

If she lived in Rio Rico? Yeah, that's kind of in the middle of nowhere.

 

[mjkacmom]

No one is saying it’s her fault. I’m saying an elderly woman with health issues, physical limitations and daily medication reliance should have had a live in, if the funds are there. Maybe she wouldn’t want it at first- my mom didn’t- but then she would come to appreciate it immensely the way my mom did.

Or she might’ve hated it, I know my mom would’ve.

 

[Marrila]

Nothing is risk free. There are numerous elders that have been taken advantage of by live in "help."

 

[focusondisney]

An 84 yo with some mobility issues but no cognitive deficits is quite capable of deciding where & how she wants to live. Even 1 with cardiac issues.

 

[Mizzoufan]

No one is saying it’s her fault. I’m saying an elderly woman with health issues, physical limitations and daily medication reliance should have had a live in, if the funds are there. Maybe she wouldn’t want it at first- my mom didn’t- but then she would come to appreciate it immensely the way my mom did.

My guess she refused. I dont know any elderly person who.wants to burden there kids.

 

[AustinTink]

My guess she refused. I dont know any elderly person who.wants to burden there kids.

Her kid has many millions of dollars though. Not a burden for Savannah.

 

[focusondisney]

Her kid has many millions of dollars though. Not a burden for Savannah.

It doesn’t matter how much money the daughter has. We have no idea what discussions took place in their family, what arrangements/ services were offered to Nancy or what her actual level of need was. It’s none of our business, actually. Being 84 & having medical issues does not make you incompetent or unable to live as you choose. Even if that is alone. Declaring decisions that worked for you & your family as the only acceptable ones & condemning someone else’s family for different decisions is pretty judgmental.

 

[AustinTink]

It doesn’t matter how much money the daughter has. We have no idea what discussions took place in their family, what arrangements/ services were offered to Nancy or what her actual level of need was. It’s none of our business, actually. Being 84 & having medical issues does not make you incompetent or unable to live as you choose. Even if that is alone. Declaring decisions that worked for you & your family as the only acceptable ones & condemning someone else’s family for different decisions is pretty judgmental.

Not sure why everyone is getting so mad at me. I’m just saying the home was in a pitch black area, removed from neighbors, with an elderly woman inside with health issues. I, as a daughter, would have been worried about my mother in that situation and would have kept pushing for a live in.

 

[focusondisney]

Not sure why everyone is getting so mad at me. I’m just saying the home was in a pitch black area, removed from neighbors, with an elderly woman inside with health issues. I, as a daughter, would have been worried about my mother in that situation and would have kept pushing for a live in.

And do you know that Savannah & her siblings weren’t??? You are coming across as blaming them, especially Savannah, for this. You have no idea what that family discussed or why Nancy was living alone. How nice your family was able to make a decision that worked for you. As every family, even the Guthries, have the right to do.

 

[AustinTink]

And do you know that Savannah & her siblings weren’t??? You are coming across as blaming them, especially Savannah, for this. You have no idea what that family discussed or why Nancy was living alone. How nice your family was able to make a decision that worked for you. As every family, even the Guthries, have the right to do.

I’m not blaming them in the slightest. I’m saying it’s going to be very hard for the children going forward dealing with the what ifs. That’s all.

 

[Marrila]

Not sure why everyone is getting so mad at me. I’m just saying the home was in a pitch black area, removed from neighbors, with an elderly woman inside with health issues. I, as a daughter, would have been worried about my mother in that situation and would have kept pushing for a live in.

And that is fine for you and your mother. Everybody's situation is different. And I hope we can respect that.
I will add this. Once you introduce a stranger/caregiver into an elder's home you have to keep a regular eye out for physical, emotional or financial abuse.
It may seem like a solution, but it's also a big responsibility for the daughter or son who has hired the help.

 

[AustinTink]

Once you introduce a stranger/caregiver into an elder's home you have to keep a regular eye out for physical, emotional or financial abuse.
It's may seem like a solution, but it's also a big responsibility for the daughter or son who has hired the help.

This is very true. We were lucky to have someone who was already employed by our family for many, many years who just switched over to full-time from a couple days a week. It was an easy transition for everyone. I know there are a lot of horror stories out there of elder abuse.

 

[DCLMP]

It's a big distraction.