SAHM's, what do you do to get out?

EeyoreEma

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Joined
Sep 15, 2009
Messages
1,171
It's never really bothered me as much to be alone, but lately I've just felt lonely and isolated. We don't have that many friends here, so it's hard to just call someone and get out with them. Most of the people that I'm friends with work, so it's not as if they have unlimited time to get together. I'm just starting to feel like I need to be involved with more people. We homeschool, so obviously I'm not going to be on the PTA. For personal reasons, I am not a fan of the church nursery, so we don't get to church very often. As well, my dh doesn't have much time off, so we try to spend the weekends together, and he's not as into church as I am (just because he can tend toward being a loner). We go to dd's gymnastics 2x a week, and that's always fun but I feel like I need to get out of myself a little more. Any great ideas?
 
Hang in there, as you live longer in the area you will get to know more people!

Check out your local rec dept. Many offer classes and activities for adults such as crafts, hobbies, exercise, and even road trips. You could probably get to know people with similar interests through that. Also, the costs tend to be low.

Also, craft store often offer classes as well.

Good luck to you!
 
Check out meetup.com. You might find some local homeschooling moms groups, or a regular SAHM group, even a book club or some other type group that will allow you to get out by yourself in the evening.

Also check your local library, and all of the others in your area. Around here, they don't care if you live in a different town but want to attend their family nights or kids playgroups during the day.

Get a membership to a local Children's Musem. You might not meet people to form friendships, but you'll be 'out and about' and can chat with whatever moms are there.
 
We go to the park and our church has a tots group during the winter. We joined the local zoo.
 

We go to the gym - I get to work out and she gets to play in the daycare. I'm lucky that she's not afraid or clingy. She just blows me a kiss and runs off.

In decent weather we go to the park. We also go to the library and gymboree. I spread out my grocery shopping and go a few days a week (different stores). I try to go out at least a little bit everyday! Otherwise I'd go stircrazy.
 
I'm a very social person, and started making mommy friends very early on. I took my oldest to a lot of mommy and me classes, and ended up forming playgroups. I had them for all of my kids (usually most of the same moms - we seemed to be on the same baby factory schedule ;)). Once they were in school, again, most of my friends are parents of my children. Therefore, I have many circles, and many overlap. I go out for coffee once a week with the ladies, I play bunco several times a month, we get together for bbq's over the summer... I also used to love going to the gym, and putting the kids in the nursery. How old are your children? Our church doesn't have a nursery, and kids of all ages attend with their parents.

Honestly, I need to interact with other adults. I actually look forward to picking up the kids after school, standing on the lawn, chatting it up.

Maybe try to find some places to volunteer?
 
Is there a Homeschooling Group or club near you? Sometimes you really have to look, the library and the librarians there are great place to find resources. Chances are they know who the other homeschooling families are and what other things are going on. See if there is somewhere you can post a notice there and arrange to meet with other homeschoolers. Is there a 4H group that your kids might enjoy? Girls or Boy scouts? Are there any sports your kids enjoy? Join a team.

Check out yahoogroups --- They aren't as popular any more but there are still some very active homeschooling groups in some areas. Search for Homeschooling and your city. Also are you on any of the Homeschooling Forums? Often you may find others there in your area. Look for classes for homeschoolers.

When we homeschooled our biggest problem was finding the time to actually stay home!

If your husband isn't as in to church as you are can you leave the kids with him while you attend? That way you don't have to worry about the kids. Are there groups there for you to join?
 
You might enjoy Bible Study Fellowship. If your children are 2 and older they are also in a class where they learn the same Bible story you are studying while you are in class. The children portion is very organized and not at all the free for all a church nursery can be. I joined when my oldest was 2 and stayed until I finished all the classes! Loved the social interaction, the discipline, and how much I learned. It is a world wide organization. Just goggle BSF or Bible Study Fellowship to find a class near you. I should add it is completely non denominational - everyone is asked to not discuss their personal church affiliation. Fell free to pm me- I can give you more information.
 
If you have time join a commission on your town or a civic organization. I'm pretty involved in my local P&R department. Honestly, with three kids going in all different directions I'm actually waiting for a night that we can hunker down!
 
i don't know where you live but see if there is a GFWC Woman's Club or Junior Woman's Club near by. I was a member of Juniors for twenty years and they were my lifeline when my kids were young. Great way to meet people and develop leadership abilities and help your community at the same time. I have made life long friends with women all over my state, people I would have never met.

It gave me something 'for me' and showed my kids about volunteering and helping others.
 
How old is your dd? You could always get involved in girl scouts.
 
I would not have survived a move when ds was 1 without my playgroup mommy friends. I'm not a joiner by nature but when we moved I tried a few different clubs. I went to one called The NewComers Club...found out it was actually a clique but I met the greatest mom there. She started a playgroup and the core group of 5 was very tight.

We moved away about 7 years ago and I still miss my playgroup friends. (All but 2 of us moved out of the area).

Definitely keep your eye out for any and all groups for moms/homeschoolers. Check out area churches for mom's groups that are open to anyone. One new friend can lead to many more. Best of luck...
 
I joined the MOMS club when my kids were young and it was an absolute life saver. It's a group for stay at home or part time working moms. They organize activities for the kids, playgroups, mom's night out and family events. Some of my best friends today are people I met there. You can probably do a google search and find out if there is one in your area.
 
Not a SAHM (yet), but was raised by one who also homeschooled my sister and me. Are there any homeschool groups in your area? Ours always did field trips, Friday school, PE classes, art classes, sports, moms' nights, newsletters, etc. It was an awesome resource for educational opportunities and socializing for the whole family.
 
In my new area, I am at a loss. I am part of some groups through homeschooling that has some mom times and I have been going to those.

In my old area, I had a network that I had built up over the years. I had a monthly Bunko I went to, ladies I could count on for a girl's night out.

I'd say try a hobby or fly solo with some "me" time. But I can get the need to want to have friends. I'm just proactively working on it with what has been dealt to me. I do have a cute baby that tags along with me at times, so some moms get their baby fix and I have someone to chat with. I guess I'm using my baby right now to get friends. LOL!
 
My daughter is involved in girl scouts. I have met some wonderful friends, same with Boy scouts.

Volunteer at local events, senior centers, soup kitchen. You will met people.

A book club at the libary, a churchs women's group., bible study, gym, et.
 
Thank you all for the advice. We live in a really small town, so most of those aren't options - but I wish they were!! I think maybe I will try girl scouts for dd when she turns 5 in April (isn't that the age?!) and I'm sure when ds (2.5) is old enough he'd be thrilled with boy scouts. I did meet another homeschooling mom tonight at dd's gymnastics, though her dd is a few years older. I'm hoping next time I run into her that i can get some more info from her on any homeschooling groups in the area. Anyway, thanks. I just need to get out of this funk I'm in!! It's not like me - I'm usually one of the happiest people around.
 
I have to second what previous poster's have said. Join a gym, preferably one that's really family oriented. We love the Y, I get to work out, kids go to child watch, and there are kid classes so they get to meet other kids too.
 
Was there an interest you had before you had your children? I was (and still am) a 4-H Leader. I never found myself *bored* being a SAHM because 4-H was my thing. I am at our center more evenings then I am at home with all the committees I am on now.

I used to show dogs before I had kids. That stopped once the kids came, but now my dd14 is showing so I am once again back with old friends (and plenty of new ones)

Try to find an interest for you.
 
I found a great MOMS club. There are many out there, MOPS ect.... The local libraries story time is a great place to meet people and find different groups in your areas for certain things. I live in a small town too, but if you look hard enough you will find some things.
 


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