SAHM Tips Needed!

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Congrats on the last day!!!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

HAPPY LAST DAY!!!!

 

[party of 3]

happy last day !!!!!!!

 

[aroyer]

Last day over! It still hasn't hit me that I am finished. I think it will sink in Sunday night when I don't have to set the alarm!

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet!

 

[calanniebu]

Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet!

I don't even have kids yet ... but that cracked me up!!!! I had been following the thread for some tips to store in the back of my head

 

[pretty in tink]

Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet!

I was thinking the same thing! And if you're able to get up a little earlier than the kids, you can have a little extra time for yourself or set up your day or get ahead on housework(yeah, right!). I started sleeping in and now I just drag on the mornings I have to actually get up early. It might actually help for you to keep getting up at close to the same time (unless it's dreadfully early and noone should have to be up then, anyways)

And as for those "real" work questions-I think it's all how you say it. Be positive and remind them that having kids IS a full-time job! (And you can also quote those statistics that say if mom's were paid, their salary should be well over $100K-that's how much "Real Work" they actually do!) Good Luck!

 

[aroyer]

Yeah, my little alarm clock (DS) is usually up not long after my "real" alarm clock, so its not going to be any different really. It's just more the formality of having to turn the "real" alarm clock on.

 

[happypooh]

I have to admit being a SAHM is way way harder than my job! So I'm struggling with the decision to go back to work part time (three or less mornings a week) or staying home - I love what I do but at the same time my youngest is still so little....(5 months)...I should stay home right?? Tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to stay home?

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

you are not crazy!

 

[PrincessNancy96]

I have to admit being a SAHM is way way harder than my job! So I'm struggling with the decision to go back to work part time (three or less mornings a week) or staying home - I love what I do but at the same time my youngest is still so little....(5 months)...I should stay home right?? Tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to stay home?

Nope you aren't crazy for wanting to stay home!!!
Each person has a totally different perspective and weighs the pros/ cons to staying at home vs. working.. FOLLOW your heart and you'll do the right things for YOU and YOUR family!!!

I love staying home!!

 

[aroyer]

You are NOT crazy!! I wanted to be home with the kids to experience their every day activities. And once I am finished with this stinkin project, I am going to enjoy that to the fullest!

 

[pretty in tink]

If you want to stay at home you should. Think of what you would be missing-and think how you would feel if you went back even though you didn't want to. When the time is right, you'll know it Just make sure you get a little grown-up time, too. I went back to work part-time when my daughter was 4 but only bc I think she needed a break from me! And by then I needed a little "big people" time. I realized when I started calling them "big people" that it was time for a change!

And as for being harder than a job, a lot of people my husband works with have told him they thought it was weird I didn't "work" but he gladly tells them my job at home is WAY harder than his!

 

[lolafrances]

Happy Pooh, I think being (or becoming a SAHM) is a very personal family decision, and like some PP's said, you have to do what is best for you. Just follow your heart. Remember you have a very long life ahead to do other things but your kids are only babies once. Good luck and enjoy this time, whatever you decide to do!

 

[happypooh]

Thanks so much everyone for posting. I am still trying to make a decision and probably have to in the next two weeks or so....maybe I'll know after our trip to disneyworld for free dining in two weeks....maybe I'll just go back to one morning a week.....this is soooo hard.....you are all right...they are babies so short a time.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Thanks so much everyone for posting. I am still trying to make a decision and probably have to in the next two weeks or so....maybe I'll know after our trip to disneyworld for free dining in two weeks....maybe I'll just go back to one morning a week.....this is soooo hard.....you are all right...they are babies so short a time.

this is just our personal story so take it with a grain of salt. LOL not trying to influence your decision either way.
DH and I discussed child care before we even got married. My mom has made a career in day care and I have worked in the field as well. We decided that one of us would stay home after we had kids. We did not want someone else raising our kids, I saw and still see it with my mom, the kids would cry when they left my mom not their own parents. It made me sad and made my mom feel guilty. We also thought that we didn't want our kids in daycare until they were old enough to tell us if someone at the center did something bad to them, keep in mind this is 11 years ago and there were some pretty bad daycare stories at the time. If we didn't have to put them in that situation in the first place by staying home then that was way better.
Also DH could make more money than me so it was decided that I would stay home. He knew he had to step up and work harder but it was better for only one of us to be gone instead of both of us. At todays daycare rates it would make no sense for me to work either, I would make enough to cover the cost of daycare and nothing more.
I also don't consider myself a SAHM, I'm a NAHM (never at home mom), between playdates, sports, parties, etc I am busier than ever. Who ever said it gets easier as they get older flat out lied. I don't think I could do all of these things and work.

Now, my BFF on the other hand, can't stay home. She tried for a summer and it drove her nuts. She needs the challenges of work and family, it works for her. She doesn't know how I do it, and I don't know how she does it. But the most important thing is that we support each others decision. there is no "you don't care about your family" and "you have tons of time on your hands".

Lola is right, it is a very personal and private decision, and don't let anyone beat you down for making the choice that is right for your family.

 

[happypooh]

this is just our personal story so take it with a grain of salt. LOL not trying to influence your decision either way.
DH and I discussed child care before we even got married. My mom has made a career in day care and I have worked in the field as well. We decided that one of us would stay home after we had kids. We did not want someone else raising our kids, I saw and still see it with my mom, the kids would cry when they left my mom not their own parents. It made me sad and made my mom feel guilty. We also thought that we didn't want our kids in daycare until they were old enough to tell us if someone at the center did something bad to them, keep in mind this is 11 years ago and there were some pretty bad daycare stories at the time. If we didn't have to put them in that situation in the first place by staying home then that was way better.
Also DH could make more money than me so it was decided that I would stay home. He knew he had to step up and work harder but it was better for only one of us to be gone instead of both of us. At todays daycare rates it would make no sense for me to work either, I would make enough to cover the cost of daycare and nothing more.
I also don't consider myself a SAHM, I'm a NAHM (never at home mom), between playdates, sports, parties, etc I am busier than ever. Who ever said it gets easier as they get older flat out lied. I don't think I could do all of these things and work.

Now, my BFF on the other hand, can't stay home. She tried for a summer and it drove her nuts. She needs the challenges of work and family, it works for her. She doesn't know how I do it, and I don't know how she does it. But the most important thing is that we support each others decision. there is no "you don't care about your family" and "you have tons of time on your hands".

Lola is right, it is a very personal and private decision, and don't let anyone beat you down for making the choice that is right for your family.

I totally agree with you...we would never do daycare...I'm too germ phobic never mind that it goes against our attachment parenting style! When we had our first DS I went back to work three mornings a week and my DH stayed home (he can work from home/remotely) during that time. Now with two little ones I see that it is quite difficult for my DH to cope with both (three times a week) but maybe he would be ok one morning a week. (esp since the little one sleeps most of the time I would be gone anyway.) We are so blessed that I can afford to stay home (as long as I stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges!) so it is more the do I need to work to keep up my medical licensure (I still need to call the state to check on that) and because I truly love family medicine and my patients too (who can't wait for me to go back to work!) If I worked full time I think I would go crazy - but part part time would maybe work?? Thanks for sharing your story...sounds like you have a great best friend too to share in the joys of parenthood. I can see that being home really is much more hard work and as you say it would be easy to be a NAHM!

 

[aroyer]

I totally agree with you...we would never do daycare...I'm too germ phobic never mind that it goes against our attachment parenting style! When we had our first DS I went back to work three mornings a week and my DH stayed home (he can work from home/remotely) during that time. Now with two little ones I see that it is quite difficult for my DH to cope with both (three times a week) but maybe he would be ok one morning a week. (esp since the little one sleeps most of the time I would be gone anyway.) We are so blessed that I can afford to stay home (as long as I stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges!) so it is more the do I need to work to keep up my medical licensure (I still need to call the state to check on that) and because I truly love family medicine and my patients too (who can't wait for me to go back to work!) If I worked full time I think I would go crazy - but part part time would maybe work?? Thanks for sharing your story...sounds like you have a great best friend too to share in the joys of parenthood. I can see that being home really is much more hard work and as you say it would be easy to be a NAHM!

I need to stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges too!!!

I can say that I have fully enjoyed my last week and a half as a SAHM (or NAHM as B&MB calls it!)! DS has not even asked for the nanny- which I was worried about since he was very attached to her. When we found out that the nanny was leaving we were having a really hard time deciding what to do. The thought of daycare made me cry every time it was brought up. We did it the first year of his life because we didn't have a choice. DH was in law school and so there was no way both of us could be without jobs!! Once he graduated we had a little more flexibility so then we got the nanny and we were very comfortable and happy with that situation (we knew her for 2 years before we employed her). Last April I really felt a tug on my heart to stay home with the kids. And once DH looked at how much I made and how much the nanny made and the tax implications, turns out it would have been cheaper for me to stay home last year too.

As others have said it is a personal family decision and best of luck finding the right mix for your family!