SADDAM ON NEW TAPE MAY BE SOCK PUPPET
Iraqi Strongman Resembles Elmo, Expert Says
A new tape of Saddam Hussein broadcast today has left many intelligence experts suspecting that the man on the tape is not the Iraqi strongman at all but is instead a crudely made sock puppet.
Weve compared this tape to previous tapes of Saddam, and this is the first time weve seen that his entire head seems to be made out of tube-sock material, a CIA expert said.
In addition, the expert said, there are other telltale clues that the Saddam on the new tape may not be authentic, namely, the fact that his eyes appear to be buttons sewn onto his head.
In addition, the expert pointed out, black yarn-like stitching is clearly visible in the corners of Saddams mouth and his tongue appears to be made of pink felt.
Quite frankly, this is one of the most amateurish sock puppets of a head of state Ive seen in thirty-five years of intelligence work, the expert added. It looks more like Elmo than Saddam Hussein.
Speculation that Saddams regime was about to fall gathered steam this morning as U.S. CENTCOM Commander Tommy Franks revealed that coalition forces today had successfully taken out a key Kinkos in Baghdad where Saddams top leadership were believed to be updating their resumes.
This news came on top of earlier reports that Saddams desk, office lamp and credenza had shown up late yesterday afternoon on eBay.
After rumors swirled that Saddams son Uday had put those items up for auction, a shoddy sock puppet resembling Uday appeared on Iraqi TV to deny those reports.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Iraqi Strongman Resembles Elmo, Expert Says
A new tape of Saddam Hussein broadcast today has left many intelligence experts suspecting that the man on the tape is not the Iraqi strongman at all but is instead a crudely made sock puppet.
Weve compared this tape to previous tapes of Saddam, and this is the first time weve seen that his entire head seems to be made out of tube-sock material, a CIA expert said.
In addition, the expert said, there are other telltale clues that the Saddam on the new tape may not be authentic, namely, the fact that his eyes appear to be buttons sewn onto his head.
In addition, the expert pointed out, black yarn-like stitching is clearly visible in the corners of Saddams mouth and his tongue appears to be made of pink felt.
Quite frankly, this is one of the most amateurish sock puppets of a head of state Ive seen in thirty-five years of intelligence work, the expert added. It looks more like Elmo than Saddam Hussein.
Speculation that Saddams regime was about to fall gathered steam this morning as U.S. CENTCOM Commander Tommy Franks revealed that coalition forces today had successfully taken out a key Kinkos in Baghdad where Saddams top leadership were believed to be updating their resumes.
This news came on top of earlier reports that Saddams desk, office lamp and credenza had shown up late yesterday afternoon on eBay.
After rumors swirled that Saddams son Uday had put those items up for auction, a shoddy sock puppet resembling Uday appeared on Iraqi TV to deny those reports.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
