Sad face, angry face... hard to decide...

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Yesterday I was shopping with the kids at the Wal Mart. I was zipping through the kids clothes area and noticed these 2 women. Just noticed them, but zipped right passed them. As we left the area DS asked me if I heard what they said??? I said no, what did they say...

"How could that fat *** be their mother????"

OMG... I was so hurt, angry, humiliated, defeated and saddened all with that one comment. What did they mean by that? My kids are my life and are they saying becouse of my size I am unfit to be there mother???? Oh, I am so sad.... AND Angry that they said it loud enough for my DS to hear it. He was so sad and could not understand why someone would be so mean.

 

[nowellsl]

mean people suck!

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Sorry that this happened. People are mean sometimes.

 

[lmhall2000]

Princess Vija!!! You are a GIFT to those precious children...it will be a lesson for them in compassion and strength. Don't let your children feel less by those comments but teach them how to see more...turn it right around into a strength moment...when I heard those comments (and I did!) I would grab my children close and hug them and say, those ladies are right in one respect....I am overweight and that is not healthy...it's not the best I can be. But where they are wrong is in their mean spirited heart. (I'm a Christian so my response is always guided by that faith) I would then say, this is a perfect time for us to pray that God will help their hearts find joy instead of cruelty. Then, I would tell the kids they could help me make smarter choices...and boy they nagged me anytime I thought of eating sugar or junk...they'd suggest an apple...I'd smile because I knew that came from love and I'd giggle and hug the heck out of them and tell them what wonderful creatures they were.

I think it's important for children to grow knowing that we all have faults but we all need encouragment to overcome them..let them find ways to help you. And all faults are similar in my eyes..it's all about self-control whether it's smoking/drinking/eating/failure to exercise etc. Showing them how you overcame your fault and your courage through it all will be such a boost and lesson for them when they face their own fault later in life. They'll look at you as a hero!! So be STRONG in the face of adversity and instead of shrinking...stand tall and be compassionate for those who have none.

YOU ARE AN ANGEL of a mom!
Tara

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm sorry you and your kids were subjected to such an insensitive and mean spirited comment. Not what kids need to hear, especially about their mother.

When issues like these come up - whether it be a comment they've overheard, or whether it is they who have been insensitive, whatever - I like to have a pow-wow with my kids on one of their beds before bedtime to discuss all of it, and I swear some of our best conversations happen then. Hopefully, they are learning valuable lessons that will serve them well in life.

In the meantime, oftentimes it can be one moment like this that can be life changing. However rude it was of those girls, could this be the time to take stock of your life and your health, and perhaps create a stronger and healthier family for all of you? Best of luck, and please try to not let these girls' rudeness ruin your holiday spirit. They will likely have their own children someday, and I'm sure will not be perfect parents either.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Some people are bitter jerks and will get what happiness they deserve out of life.

For myself doing the Weight watchers and half marathon walk training- I remind myself that i want to be able to dance at my daughters wedding. If she gets married at 30, i'll be 70 so got to keep in good health!

Sending a mental hug to you and a mental slap upside the head to them

 

[Cruise04]

I had something happen to me in the bathroom at WalMart when I had already lost 30 pounds - the kid said to her mom "She is really fat" and I turned and said "Yay I am but you should have seen me 30 pounds ago and you should teach your kids to watch how loud they say things that will hurt people's feelings" and walked out of the bathroom.

I'm so sorry that happened - it does really stink when people are like that.

It's not the outside that matters, it's the inside and from what I have seen you have an awesome inside so don't ever that anything get in the way of your mindset that you are a bad parent because of your weight - or a bad person (I've had that comment too) - because you are NOT!!!!!!



Chris

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Oh you guys, I have laughed and cried through your responses. I really appreciate it more than you know!!!!

Pea-n-Me, You are right, it has been a life changing moment for me. What amazes me most, is how I don't "see" myself the way I really must look on the outside. That comment has really made me take a step back and realize that yes, there is a big problem here, and it is up to me to fix it. It still makes me so mad that they said it loud enough for DS to hear it and not me. How cruel is it to put a kid in that position?? Tell it to me straight, not through my kids.

nowellsl comment "mean people suck!" and Wish I lived in Fl's comment "Sending a mental hug to you and a mental slap upside the head to them" had me laughing!

Tiger Lily 03, thanks for your kind words, it makes my heart smile!

Tara, you have certainly given me alot to think about.... first and foremost, I think it is an excellent idea to involve the kids in making healthy choices, because that will help them create a lifestyle of health as well. I want them to be aware of healthy choices for themselves, and make this a team effort. Also, I haven't worked hard at this, and the idea that I can be a role model for my kids and a hero is something I would like to do. To be able to give them courage to work through their own struggles will be a special gift I can give them. and finally, I have opened my heart a bit because of your post toward the women. they were mean spirited, but I can't let their negativity bring me down, rather rejoice in the joy I have in my heart and know that I can make the commitment to myself and become healthy. Who knows, maybe God did have a hand in it and knew I needed to hear some harsh words to knock some sense into me.

Chris, your words certainly hit home, because often I have felt like a bad person because of my weight...Thanks for seeing the inside, and saying such encouraging words! And I am sorry that you endured that kind of comment as well. Both happened at wal mart.... odd coincidence!

 

[NCRedding]

I feel for you--I've heard comments like that, but not as mean-spirited.

Stepping onto soap box: I wonder why so many people feel it is perfectly acceptable to criticize and humiliate overweight people. Think of the threads that we've had on these boards recently (mainly the community board--teen plus sized clothes); why do people assume that if you are overweight, you are a slacker, or gorge yourself, or have some defect. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. Weight loss, metobolism, activity level, medication--all these affect weight loss. It isn't that we just overeat!! I would never comment about someone's facial features, or problems--never tell the anorexic runner to gain weight--but boy do others love to tell us that if we'd just wouldn't eat this or that, we wouldn't be fat.

OK, off soapbox for now!

 

[teachingmykids]

NCRedding you are so right. What is wrong with society that makes people feel they have the right so say anything they want? I personally blame it on TV, where we "hear" what people are thinking. I think we've bred an entire generation who believe if they have a thought they have the right to say it out loud. That's the lesson for kids here -- just because you THINK it, doesn't mead you should SAY it.