Olaf
DIS Cast Member
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2000
- Messages
- 3,866
It's Good To Be A Man!
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can be President.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's behind if someone notices your new
haircut.
* The world is your urinal.
* You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too icky.
* Same work... more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch or passing of gas is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Your pals can be trusted never to ask you: "So, notice
anything different?"
* One mood, ALL the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
* You can leave the motel bed unmade.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
* You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without
thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* You don't mooch off other's desserts.
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a
little gift.
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colors.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
Damn, It's Good To Be A Man!
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can be President.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's behind if someone notices your new
haircut.
* The world is your urinal.
* You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too icky.
* Same work... more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch or passing of gas is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Your pals can be trusted never to ask you: "So, notice
anything different?"
* One mood, ALL the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
* You can leave the motel bed unmade.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
* You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without
thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* You don't mooch off other's desserts.
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a
little gift.
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colors.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
Damn, It's Good To Be A Man!
