S/O: Angel Trees- Long, winded VENT

[HopingToGetEngaged]

*No flames, please*

I need to blow off a smidge of steam about today's economy things that make me go "what the heck?!"...

Growing up my sister and I would always pick angels off of the tree at church. Giving to others had always been instilled in us. I've recently gotten back into the church, and even thou I'm struggling abit myself, I decided that I'd pick one this year. But I have got to say that I was disgusted by the "requests" I saw. I thought that this was for families that NEEDED things. Coats, boots, mittens, pants... stuff like that. I was sickened to see - digital camera, Nintendo DS, Wii... etc. And gift cards. Really? What does a 2 year old need with a gift card?! Now, gift card wouldn't be so bad, and I know that kids like having the ability to choose... but do you think that they could specifically tell you where they wanted one from? I have no clue what a teenager wants anymore. Not like a $10-$15 gc is going to help much at AE, A&F, or Hollister... I saw ONE that said "bible- or gift card", but someone took it with the same disgust I had. I know that kids want these things - shoot, I want a Wii!

I used to love finding an angel that was around the same age as me, and then go shopping for her. I think that part of my dislike of the gift card is that I don't know that they are spending it on. Selfish, I know. But I want to make sure that someone's NEEDS are meet. A Wii, is not a need. Socks and mittens to keep you warm in the winter are needs. I don't know anyone who needs a digital camera to survive. But you do need to have appropriate clothing on your back to healthfuly survive.

I hate how society is so focused on labels and greed. I want, I want, I want. Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie. It took me a while, but I finally started saying "There's nothing that I need" when family members asked what I wanted- when I was about 22.

So, while I feel bad about not taking an angel- I'm going to donate my (hard earned, stretched a bit ) $$$ elsewhere, where I know that someone's needs are being met.

I'm thankful that I have been brought up with manners, and morals and values. I encounter too many children who are lacking all 3. And I'm thankful that even though it's not a lot, that I'm fortunate enough to be able to give a little to someone in need.

Ok- vent over. But, am I the only one that feels like this?

 

[Kies99]

I would feel the same way!

Wii and Digi-cams?? C'mon! That's ridiculous.

 

[Benducci]

I always enjoyed taking from the angel tree because it seemed like it was for kids & I wanted to give a little joy but I have to say the last couple of years it has really gotten greedy - I have seen a few with wii, ds's game, xbo, tv's. It is a shame because these people are on the tree because they are supposedly in dire straights. Having a wii does not seem that way to me. I would like one too but it is expensive!

 

[Tink-n-MrIncredible]

I stopped taking names off the Angel Trees for the same reason. If you still would like to help people go to your local church or food bank and see if there are any particular item/items they are in need of. My church has a list of items their food pantry is running low on ( peanut butter, oatmeal, etc.) every week in the bulletin. It makes donating easy. You know these items are needed and the church makes sure the people who really need them get them.

A local church may also know of a particular family and their needs. HTH

 

[pumpkinfish]

The angel tree we have at work is for clothing ONLY. I like this because it is obviously something that the child NEEDS. Now, I do end up buying a few books and a toy depending on the age.

 

[HopingToGetEngaged]

The angel tree we have at work is for clothing ONLY. I like this because it is obviously something that the child NEEDS. Now, I do end up buying a few books and a toy depending on the age.

I would love a clothing only tree. Like you - we always covered what the angel asked for, but Mom would always let us pick something small out for them as something "fun". A sparkly hair clip, a couple match box cars (we picked a boy one year)- nothing big, but just a little fun...

 

[CinRell]

My mom just emailed me today... at work, employees are being asked to give twd a needy family that the place adopted. Some things on the list were clothes, etc.... but they also listed MP3 players, a basketball hoop and ball, ... I will say some requests are modest like a new bathroom set and socks...

I guess my beef is a place of employment telling employees (and this is NOT a small company) to all bring in items for this one family. Mind you.. this place has been laying off people left and right and everyone is nervous for their job right now. ALSO in the same email they said they are having a pot luck and giving directions on what type of food each employee is to bring.


My family is struggling to make this christmas special as is... my poor mom just had to spend $$$ to put a new roof over hear head so the snow wouldn't leak through like last year. I love the disney boards but haven't been since 05 because of my financial situation... instead of urging employees to chose from a Xmas tree with several families with needed items, about 100 people are being told to purchase for this one family.

I dunno. My heart goes out to the family but how about put the former employees that were just laid off on that tree and have people chip in a little something for THEM?

 

[RobinFabulous]

No flames, but I understand it. All kids want to fit in. Just because some of their parents can't afford the same clothes/jackets/toys that their peers get doesn't mean that they don't want them. I think most kids have little concept of money. I heard Hannah tell a friend's mother that Mommy got a good deal on her Northface and only paid $20 for it. Well, Noooooo I paid $97 for it!!! She doesn't know and my almost 7 year old's favorite phrase is a hundred dollars. It's sad that kids see those things and think they need them, but it's part of society.

Personally I'd buy what I thought was appropriate.

 

[Lollipop's Mom]

I have noticed this this year as well. I saw one where it said American Girl doll Mia or Nicki.
I saw several Wii's and many other high end things.
That is just greed. I think they should have it where the family can make one 'dream wish', but all the rest of the items must be needs. That way they can put one thing that the child dreams of on there, but the rest should be coats, boots, small toys.

 

[RitaE]

Sadly, I really don't think Angel Trees are the best way to donate anymore because that seems to be rampant.

My husband still hasn't gotten over the fact that nobody will accept gently used toys anymore. The funny thing is, he grew up as one of the "poor kids" of the town who received from Toys For Tots. He says he got some GREAT presents from them that were obviously used. One year he got a baseball glove, his own bat, and a huge box of used baseballs and he remembers it as the best Christmas of his life.

Every year as I start sorting through the boy's old toys he wants to donate them to charity and I'm like -- WHERE? Nobody will take them anymore!!!

 

[WDWorBUST]

We always pick at least one angel and sometimes two at Christmas. This year my 5 year old DD wanted to get a girl and a boy. We always get children her age (this year we accidentally got a 5 month old because it was in teh 5 year slot and not designated....If I hadn't thought that a size 9M was strange for a 5 year old and called it might have been a strange Christmas for that little baby) I was saddened that clothes were the number 1 wish of both...however glad that their parents see the necessities first. I would not be happy about a Wii or XBox or any other ridiculously expensive toy that I won't buy for my family. We are spending about $50 on each child which is a stretch for us this year....but I love the joy of giving. And each child is getting clothes AND 2 toys for that $50.

 

[msmayor]

How in the world is a 10-year old who has little, and sees some of her friends at school with so much, wanting what THEY have greedy?

When you were 10, would you have been happy getting mittens as your only Christmas gift?

Face it...how many of our OWN kids NEED a Wii? None of them...NONE of them...but we buy things that they want because it makes them happy.

So why can't you keep the spirit of the angel tree and accept that you are fulfilling a wish for a kid who has no other hope of getting something they really want. Nothing says you can't still get them a pair of mittens...but consider that what really makes a kid happy on Christmas is getting something they want rather than need.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Sadly, I really don't think Angel Trees are the best way to donate anymore because that seems to be rampant.

My husband still hasn't gotten over the fact that nobody will accept gently used toys anymore. The funny thing is, he grew up as one of the "poor kids" of the town who received from Toys For Tots. He says he got some GREAT presents from them that were obviously used. One year he got a baseball glove, his own bat, and a huge box of used baseballs and he remembers it as the best Christmas of his life.

Every year as I start sorting through the boy's old toys he wants to donate them to charity and I'm like -- WHERE? Nobody will take them anymore!!!

Try some place like a domestic abuse shelter or emergency needs organization. We have an organization called Emergency Infant Services that provide for people down on their luck for whatever reason - they accept used toys.

 

[mickeyboat]

I do agree that those request were unrealistic for an Angel Tree. But we are talking about kids, here, who don't always understand the value of things, and don't really understand that there are real people out there buying them. I am not sure how much screening goes into those requests, or what guidelines the children are given, so criticizing a child for asking for his heart's desire isn't really fair, especially in this day and age of commercials and advertisements.

Also, when you were a child asking for something for Christmas, did you EVER ask for clothes? I didn't until I was a teen. If Santa brought a sleigh-full of clothes to my kids, no matter how badly they needed them, I can assure you they would not be happy, and I can't say that I would blame them.

Finally, Christmas is all about magic. Just because I NEED a new toaster does not mean that Santa shouldn't bring me something I WANT for Christmas. That doesn't mean that you should buy him a Wii, but try to come up with something within a comfortable price range to make him happy Christmas morning. Be glad that you are able to do a small part to help a child who probably spends the other 364 days of the year without.

Denae

 

[Darsa]

My husband took a few from the Angel Tree where he works, and he mentioned that he had to work to find ones that weren't over OUR budget! One of them is for hat/mittens/scarf for a 3YO little girl, and I'm in the process of crocheting that one, I hope she likes it! He was also able to find one for a boy's hat and one for warm gloves. This kind of thing I'm MORE than happy to help out with; I can't imagine someone actually putting something like a new game system or brand-name label clothing on a charity request!

 

[Mrs.Reese]

Things are the not the greatest for DH and I since was laid-off. His school does an angel tree. The requests on it this year are pretty ridiculous IMHO. Lots of requests for XBOX and Wii. A lot of people are hurting this year. He said that unfortunately he couldn't participate this year. The guidance counselor actually tried to make him feel guilty about it. I AM SO MAD!!!!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Sadly, I really don't think Angel Trees are the best way to donate anymore because that seems to be rampant.

My husband still hasn't gotten over the fact that nobody will accept gently used toys anymore. The funny thing is, he grew up as one of the "poor kids" of the town who received from Toys For Tots. He says he got some GREAT presents from them that were obviously used. One year he got a baseball glove, his own bat, and a huge box of used baseballs and he remembers it as the best Christmas of his life.

Every year as I start sorting through the boy's old toys he wants to donate them to charity and I'm like -- WHERE? Nobody will take them anymore!!!

I wonder if you would feel okay about someone (possibly a relative) giving your children gently used toys? My motto is if I wouldn't buy it/accept it for my own child, I'm certainly not going to give it to someone else. Also, for many of these children they probably only own used toys and clothing. Why shouldn't they have something all their own, never before used or owned?

How in the world is a 10-year old who has little, and sees some of her friends at school with so much, wanting what THEY have greedy?

When you were 10, would you have been happy getting mittens as your only Christmas gift?

Face it...how many of our OWN kids NEED a Wii? None of them...NONE of them...but we buy things that they want because it makes them happy.

So why can't you keep the spirit of the angel tree and accept that you are fulfilling a wish for a kid who has no other hope of getting something they really want. Nothing says you can't still get them a pair of mittens...but consider that what really makes a kid happy on Christmas is getting something they want rather than need.

I do agree that those request were unrealistic for an Angel Tree. But we are talking about kids, here, who don't always understand the value of things, and don't really understand that there are real people out there buying them. I am not sure how much screening goes into those requests, or what guidelines the children are given, so criticizing a child for asking for his heart's desire isn't really fair, especially in this day and age of commercials and advertisements.

Also, when you were a child asking for something for Christmas, did you EVER ask for clothes? I didn't until I was a teen. If Santa brought a sleigh-full of clothes to my kids, no matter how badly they needed them, I can assure you they would not be happy, and I can't say that I would blame them.

Finally, Christmas is all about magic. Just because I NEED a new toaster does not mean that Santa shouldn't bring me something I WANT for Christmas. That doesn't mean that you should buy him a Wii, but try to come up with something within a comfortable price range to make him happy Christmas morning. Be glad that you are able to do a small part to help a child who probably spends the other 364 days of the year without.

Denae

I completely agree with these two posts!

 

[RitaE]

How in the world is a 10-year old who has little, and sees some of her friends at school with so much, wanting what THEY have greedy?

When you were 10, would you have been happy getting mittens as your only Christmas gift?

Face it...how many of our OWN kids NEED a Wii? None of them...NONE of them...but we buy things that they want because it makes them happy.

So why can't you keep the spirit of the angel tree and accept that you are fulfilling a wish for a kid who has no other hope of getting something they really want. Nothing says you can't still get them a pair of mittens...but consider that what really makes a kid happy on Christmas is getting something they want rather than need.

I think the point is - I can't afford to donate 5 Wiis this year. I don't have the article handy but I read that last year 4 days before Christmas the local Salvation Army still had over 1000 kids with tags that had not been funded yet. They were pleading for money so they could buy these kids something.

Now, is it fair that one child gets a Wii, probably a game, then the coat, hat and mittens while other children that have been sponsored by the same organization are getting nothing? Couldn't that money be spent more effectively to give more children a nice Christmas?

Also, the local agency here is famous for turning down toys that my kids happily receive as being "ungiftable." Like -- hot wheel packs, trading cards, slinkys, coloring books and crayons, silly putty, art kits. etc. I'm always a little confused to hear that no kid "wants" these things anymore when my kids get those kinds of presents every year and LOVE them.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

DD and I now pick from our Senior Angel Tree. Our poor lady asked for 1 medium shirt (I bought her 4), a 36B bra (got that), arts and crafts(used cpns at Michaels and bought some).

 

[j's m]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way. A few years ago I donated a ton of new toys that my son had never opened (I know, spoiled only, I kept thinking he wanted stuff). It was to Santa's workshop for a non-profit that helps children, young mothers, etc. I felt really good about giving to others instead of selling it at a yard sale.

This year they sent the wish list, I'll just give you some of the teens:
MP3 players/CD players/Radios
Abercrombie, Hollister, Limited, Old Navy gift cards
Eagle, Pac Sun, Hot Topics
Skateboards
Razor scooters
Weights
I-tune gift cards
Sports Jerseys
CD's (current artists)
DVD's (current titles)
General Mall gift cards

I got so upset at the list, that I am donating NOTHING to them. If I had the money, maybe I would buy something off that list for MY high school son, who gets his clothes on sale at Kohl's, and doesn't have an I-pod or MP3.