DIS Dads Rust Belt Road Trip (2 UPDATES--1/18)

[Captain_Oblivious]

There was one benefit of staying at the Best Western that I failed to mention: a free copy of USA Today in the morning. Scotty was able to grab ours in the morning and helpfully set it out for us to read.

Soon everyone was awake, and Barry must have somehow heard us through the walls because he sent us a message asking if we wanted to come over for breakfast. After making the trek to their room, they brought out yet another taste of Wisconsin: a pastry known as a “kringle”. Or, as Barry referred to it, “the pastry that looks like a toilet seat.” Anyway, you already know that I believe presentation is overrated as far as food goes. This proved to be the case here as well. Basically, it was a big raspberry Danish, and made for a nice, satisfying breakfast.

Our group was splitting up on this morning. The men were headed to Wrigley Field for a stadium tour. For some unfathomable reason, the women were more interested in checking out some obscure girly doll store. Obviously, they got the raw end of this deal. We said our goodbyes and headed for the subway.

You might be interested to know that we found the subway station and got on the correct train bound for Wrigley with no navigational issues whatsoever. However, Evan body-checked me the whole way down the street. I’m pretty sure this meant he liked me, and that the attempted shove in front of an oncoming bus was simply the result of Evan being over-enthusiastic.

Obviously, someone from the CTA has visited Disney World before:

I was really looking forward to seeing Wrigley for the first time. I had actually looked into getting tickets for a game, but for my family it would have cost approximately the GDP of Guam to obtain them. And given the fact that Julie and Sarah weren’t too interested anyway, I figured a stadium tour made more sense. Dave was pumped. He’s really become a huge sports fan over the last year or so, and was over the moon with excitement when I told him he’d get to see the clubhouse and the dugout. I think Scotty was excited too, but to tell the truth, I’m not really sure what goes on in that boy’s head.

We got to the stadium about an hour before our tour, so that gave us time to wander the neighborhood, take some pictures, and check out the souvenir shops. Evan was already decked out in his Cubs finery, but the boys all decided they needed Cubs hats to commemorate their visit. Evan got an old-school retro Cubs hat, Dave went for the classic “C” logo, and Scotty got the one with the cute, cuddly bear cub on it. Scotty is a sucker for cute, cuddly, furry animals and is on a mission to collect every single stuffed puppy in existence. I had to shield him from the stuffed Cubs before he broke the budget.

Yes, I’m wearing an obnoxious orange Flyers t-shirt in the middle of Chicago. The reason for this is that I was scheduled to meet my Official DisDad Nemesis©, who is a big Blackhawks fan, later in the day. Yes, his team beat mine in the Stanley Cup finals a couple of years ago, but I still felt the obligation to uphold the Nemesis By-laws and do something to annoy him. Surprisingly, nobody gave me any trouble about the shirt throughout the day. This may have something to do with the fact that the Flyers lost.

The kids did their best Ernie Banks impressions. No, they probably don’t know who Ernie Banks is.

The tour started right on time, and we were led into the seats behind home plate on our first stop while the guide gave us the history of Wrigley Field and the Cubs. It’s the second-oldest stadium in baseball (Boston’s Fenway Park is the oldest), having been built in 1914. Originally there was no outfield wall—just a rope held by ushers with spectators standing behind them. The Cubs were forced to build a wall later by Major League Baseball. Why? It seems that whenever they played the St. Louis Cardinals, the rope would move back and up when the Cardinals were batting and forward and down when the Cubs were at the plate.

From here, we climbed up to the top of the stadium to see the press boxes. Here’s the stadium organ.

And here’s the Cubs TV booth, where legendary announcer Harry Caray called the games.

I didn’t envy the press corps—at the top of the stadium, there was a rafter in the way and the view of the field wasn’t that great. On the plus side, they did get free wi-fi.

From here, we descended to the Cubs clubhouse. I could tell Dave was excited and enjoying himself, because he talks a mile a minute when he gets excited. “Daddy, I can see the scoreboard!” “Daddy, look—a bird on the roof!” Etc., etc.

The visitor clubhouse shows the limitations of older stadiums. It’s a cramped space that is actually above the main concourse of the stadium. See the pillar closest to us in this picture? That was the original wall up till the mid-1980’s. If you think that is cramped, remember that the Chicago Bears used to play football games here too—which means 55 guys had to dress in that little space. Still, the Cubs have spared no expense to make teams comfortable. For the postgame meals, they have provided a single fold-up table in the middle of the room.

We got to see the famous bleachers in the outfield as well. On the way, a service door was open, giving us an up-close view of the famous ivy-covered outfield walls. This is the same ivy that was first planted in 1938 (or so—I forget the exact year).

Barry showed me a sign on one of the homes across the street that is keeping track of the years without championships. These numbers mean: "After Championship": 2 years since last division title, 51 years since last pennant, and 102 years since last championship.

And if I remember correctly, Barry also told me Eamus Catuli is Latin for, “We stink!”

The final stop was a walk across the field (ok, the track on the edge of the field) to the Cubs’ dugout. We took our time, getting some once-in-a-lifetime shots behind home plate.

Before we could even get to the dugout, the guide started announcing that everyone had to leave. Knowing our boys would be crushed if they didn’t get to go in the dugout, I asked the guide if we could take them in there for a quick look-see. “Real quick,” the Dugout Nazi answered. “I mean, REAL QUICK. We’ve gotta go.” I’m not sure what exactly the hurry was—it was an off day for the Cubs. Maybe they thought the Cubs would sign our boys to un-tradeable $150 million contracts if they hung around.

Barry and I traded cameras so we could try and get pictures of each other with our kids in the dugout. It wasn’t much of a help. Our boys had barely sat down on the bench before the Dugout Nazi was yelling at us to get out. So much for our photo op. We basically just fired off as many pictures as we could while we walked back out.

Despite ending on a negative note, I thought the tour was a lot of fun. Very informative and interesting, and it was a thrill to see the historic ballpark in person. I knew Dave was happy, because he started talking about trying to get tickets to see a game there. And I knew Scotty was feeling normal, because he asked when we were going to eat lunch.

Continued next post...

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Meanwhile...across town, the girls were checking out some modern art. Please feel free to interpret this piece.

Let's start with the legal disclaimer. I was not with the womenfolk, so I did not witness these events. I am simply trying to piece together what exactly happened by using the information available to me, such as the photos and receipts in our possession.

They finally found the obscure doll shop and went inside. Both Madison and Sarah had brought dolls with them, and they wanted to see if they could find some accessories. Could they ever! The store had everything they could dream of: doll clothing sets ($598 apiece), pets ($973), doll sunglasses ($428), even storybooks featuring their dolls as characters (on sale for $737). The kids were like…well, girls in a doll store, and Bambi and Julie shared evil grins as they raced to see who could max out the credit cards first.

Madison and Sarah took the opportunity to try and model for next year’s doll line.

At the end of the shopping adventure, the girls were dismayed to learn that we still had a sliver of credit limit that was unused. So, they decided to have lunch in the restaurant on-site.

While they waited for their lunch date, they explored the Lego Store nearby. Madison and Sarah found a friend in each other. And in Woody.

Sarah and Madison were obviously upset at being forced to eat lunch with their dolls, since they had been hoping to try a Chicago Superdawg instead. Look at these dismayed expressions. Poor kids.

They were even forced to eat things like hamburgers, french fries, and cinnamon rolls. ($84 apiece)

At the end of the meal ($1,293), Sarah decided that she needed to use the bathroom ($8). This store, as you can see, thought of everything:

At last, the ordeal was over for these poor, suffering kids:

After that, Julie found another credit card she hadn’t used yet. So they went to the Disney Store while they waited for us to get our lunch downtown. Barry and I were meeting a DISBoards celebrity!

Coming Up Next: A DIS-meet for lunch. A Showdown with My Nemesis. Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People.

 

[Cinderella's Fella]

Coming Up Next: A DIS-meet for lunch. A Showdown with My Nemesis. Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People.

Lunch, I can't wait!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Lunch, I can't wait!

Lunch...the best thing since breakfast!

 

[glennbo123]

Looked like a great morning was had by all...even those poor girls who had to go to the doll store. Judy's visited the store and had always wished she could get our girls to it (back when they had A.G. dolls). Hey, at least you know what you can get them for Christmas or birthdays. Once they grow out of it, their tastes get even more expensive, believe it or not.

 

[MEK]

I can't wait to read your update, but I can't see pictures at work...specifically photobucket pictures. Funny, though, cause I thought I was able to see your last pictures. Hmmmmm - going to check that out. Maybe more sites are blocked today. EERRRR!

 

[afwdwfan]

There was one benefit of staying at the Best Western that I failed to mention: a free copy of USA Today

Free... You're probably looking at about $1.75 scattered on the floor there. You just didn't read the fine print.

Obviously, they got the raw end of this deal.

I don't know about that... you guys had to go see the place where the Chicago Cubs allegedly play baseball. I'm trying to figure out what's so great about that.

However, Evan body-checked me the whole way down the street.

That's what you get for wearing a hockey shirt.

Obviously, someone from the CTA has visited Disney World before

Then why aren't their maps as good as Disney's?

Yes, I’m wearing an obnoxious orange Flyers t-shirt in the middle of Chicago.

Well, that's not as bad as the Bengals jersey I see in the background of the clubhouse picture. It really takes some, um... nerves, to wear an obnoxious orange Bungles jersey in public.

The kids did their best Ernie Banks impressions. No, they probably don’t know who Ernie Banks is.

Bert's roommate!

"After Championship": 2 years since last division title, 51 years since last pennant, and 102 years since last championship.

Um... that's a 65, not a 51.

Maybe they thought the Cubs would sign our boys to un-tradeable $150 million contracts if they hung around.

What? The Cubs never lock themselves into ridiculous contracts. Except for that one time... and that other time and the time before that.

And I knew Scotty was feeling normal, because he asked when we were going to eat lunch.

Priorities!

Meanwhile...across town

What happened to our guest writer!?!? Are Julie and Bambi suddenly shy and afraid we'll make fun of them the way we make fun of you?

Please feel free to interpret this piece.

My interpretation is that art should be like candy for the eyes. If I have to think about it, it isn't art...

The kids were like…well, girls in a doll store, and Bambi and Julie shared evil grins as they raced to see who could max out the credit cards first.

Would have been cheaper to buy everyone front row seats behind home plate for a Cubs game.

Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People.

Uh oh... never stand between 14 hungry people and food.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Um... that's a 65, not a 51.

Dagnabbit. That's what happens when you don't proofread in the rush to post before lunch break is over.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

There was one benefit of staying at the Best Western that I failed to mention: a free copy of USA Today in the morning. Scotty was able to grab ours in the morning and helpfully set it out for us to read.

Also handy if you are trying to house train a buffalo.

Soon everyone was awake, and Barry must have somehow heard us through the walls because he sent us a message asking if we wanted to come over for breakfast.

Isn't technology great? Using Facebook and the hotel's WiFi, it allowed two people to electronically communicate over vast distances and around large obstacles. Even if that distance was approximately 9 feet and the obstacle was a wall.

Basically, it was a big raspberry Danish, and made for a nice, satisfying breakfast.

Fruit for breakfast! Nutritional score!

However, Evan body-checked me the whole way down the street. I’m pretty sure this meant he liked me, and that the attempted shove in front of an oncoming bus was simply the result of Evan being over-enthusiastic.

Close. He did like you, but trying to shove you in front of an oncoming bus is actually part of his way of showing that. Trying to get a good read on what is going on in his head is like...well, like trying to get a good read on what is going on in Scotty's head.

And here’s the Cubs TV booth, where legendary announcer Harry Caray called the games.

And drank heavily. He did that there, too.

I didn’t envy the press corps—at the top of the stadium, there was a rafter in the way and the view of the field wasn’t that great. On the plus side, they did get free wi-fi.

If anyone is wondering, the Wireless Network ID is "pressbox". And contrary to popular belief, the password is not "CubsSuck". It's "cc00000001".



Which is probably some kind of Morse Code for "CubsSuck"

Still, the Cubs have spared no expense to make teams comfortable. For the postgame meals, they have provided a single fold-up table in the middle of the room.

Babe Ruth used that clubhouse when the Yankees visited for the 1932 World Series. Trying to contemplate the amount of hot dogs and beer consumed in that room is mind boggling.

We got to see the famous bleachers in the outfield as well. On the way, a service door was open, giving us an up-close view of the famous ivy-covered outfield walls. This is the same ivy that was first planted in 1938 (or so—I forget the exact year).

Close. 1937.
The groundskeeper said it would take 2 months to get all of the Ivy planted. Management gave him a week. He and his crew strung Christmas lights so they could work around the clock to get it planted.

I can't keep a fern alive for more than a week.

Barry showed me a sign on one of the homes across the street that is keeping track of the years without championships. These numbers mean: "After Championship": 2 years since last division title, 51 years since last pennant, and 102 years since last championship.

I looked up the actual meaning, Anno Catuli. It's Latin for "In the Year of the Cubs."

And if I remember correctly, Barry also told me Eamus Catuli is Latin for, “We stink!”

That one's pretty much spot on.

Before we could even get to the dugout, the guide started announcing that everyone had to leave. Knowing our boys would be crushed if they didn’t get to go in the dugout, I asked the guide if we could take them in there for a quick look-see. “Real quick,” the Dugout Nazi answered. “I mean, REAL QUICK. We’ve gotta go.” I’m not sure what exactly the hurry was—it was an off day for the Cubs.

Same reason we couldn't see the Cubs Clubhouse - the team was still in town and was getting ready for an afternoon workout before heading up to Milwaukee for the next day's game.

Maybe they thought the Cubs would sign our boys to un-tradeable $150 million contracts if they hung around.

Come on, the Cubs would never do something that dumb.

Well, not that dumb again.

Sigh. Let's just move on with the TR...

Barry and I traded cameras so we could try and get pictures of each other with our kids in the dugout. It wasn’t much of a help. Our boys had barely sat down on the bench before the Dugout Nazi was yelling at us to get out. So much for our photo op. We basically just fired off as many pictures as we could while we walked back out.

Yes, but those 7 seconds in the Cubs dugout with live in the boys' memories for years to come.

Despite ending on a negative note, I thought the tour was a lot of fun. Very informative and interesting, and it was a thrill to see the historic ballpark in person.

We've got a pretty historic stadium up here in Wisconsin that you may be interested in...

(And no, I'm not talking about Miller Park)

I am simply trying to piece together what exactly happened by using the information available to me, such as the photos and receipts in our possession.

And the accounts of two young girls talking a million miles an hour about it.

The store had everything they could dream of: doll clothing sets ($598 apiece), pets ($973), doll sunglasses ($428), even storybooks featuring their dolls as characters (on sale for $737).

You guys got discounts!?!? Lucky you...

While they waited for their lunch date, they explored the Lego Store nearby. Madison and Sarah found a friend in each other. And in Woody.

This store, as you can see, thought of everything:

Not sure what would be creepier - having a doll hang there and watch me while I did my business or having a small, doll sized toilet next to mine for the doll to sit on. Let's ask Brian, he probably has experience with these types of things.

 

[middlepat]

Soon everyone was awake, and Barry must have somehow heard us through the walls because he sent us a message asking if we wanted to come over for breakfast. After making the trek to their room, they brought out yet another taste of Wisconsin: a pastry known as a “kringle”. Or, as Barry referred to it, “the pastry that looks like a toilet seat.” Anyway, you already know that I believe presentation is overrated as far as food goes. This proved to be the case here as well. Basically, it was a big raspberry Danish, and made for a nice, satisfying breakfast.

Tastes of Wisconsin well defined here. Don't think about what it looks like, just try it and typically its good.

Our group was splitting up on this morning. The men were headed to Wrigley Field for a stadium tour. For some unfathomable reason, the women were more interested in checking out some obscure girly doll store. Obviously, they got the raw end of this deal. We said our goodbyes and headed for the subway.

Poor souls, if they only knew what they were missing.

You might be interested to know that we found the subway station and got on the correct train bound for Wrigley with no navigational issues whatsoever. However, Evan body-checked me the whole way down the street. I’m pretty sure this meant he liked me, and that the attempted shove in front of an oncoming bus was simply the result of Evan being over-enthusiastic.

Or the fact that you wore a Flyers jersey.

Obviously, someone from the CTA has visited Disney World before:

Not quite, they forgot the "Please" and "Por Favor"

I was really looking forward to seeing Wrigley for the first time. I had actually looked into getting tickets for a game, but for my family it would have cost approximately the GDP of Guam to obtain them.

Yes, I’m wearing an obnoxious orange Flyers t-shirt in the middle of Chicago. The reason for this is that I was scheduled to meet my Official DisDad Nemesis©, who is a big Blackhawks fan, later in the day. Yes, his team beat mine in the Stanley Cup finals a couple of years ago, but I still felt the obligation to uphold the Nemesis By-laws and do something to annoy him. Surprisingly, nobody gave me any trouble about the shirt throughout the day. This may have something to do with the fact that the Flyers lost.

Or the fact that Chicago people just ignore those random obnoxious tourists in the summer.

The kids did their best Ernie Banks impressions. No, they probably don’t know who Ernie Banks is.

Let's play 2!

The Cubs were forced to build a wall later by Major League Baseball. Why? It seems that whenever they played the St. Louis Cardinals, the rope would move back and up when the Cardinals were batting and forward and down when the Cubs were at the plate.

What, like they don't do that in Philly?

And here’s the Cubs TV booth, where legendary announcer Harry Caray called the games.

So did it smell like Budweiser?

I didn’t envy the press corps—at the top of the stadium, there was a rafter in the way and the view of the field wasn’t that great. On the plus side, they did get free wi-fi.

I wonder if that was a selling point back in the 30s? Wi-Fi? What's a Wi-Fi?

From here, we descended to the Cubs clubhouse. I could tell Dave was excited and enjoying himself, because he talks a mile a minute when he gets excited. “Daddy, I can see the scoreboard!” “Daddy, look—a bird on the roof!” Etc., etc.

Squirrel!

The visitor clubhouse shows the limitations of older stadiums. It’s a cramped space that is actually above the main concourse of the stadium. See the pillar closest to us in this picture? That was the original wall up till the mid-1980’s. If you think that is cramped, remember that the Chicago Bears used to play football games here too—which means 55 guys had to dress in that little space. Still, the Cubs have spared no expense to make teams comfortable. For the postgame meals, they have provided a single fold-up table in the middle of the room.

Only the best for out $150 Million payroll.

Barry showed me a sign on one of the homes across the street that is keeping track of the years without championships. These numbers mean: "After Championship": 2 years since last division title, 51 years since last pennant, and 102 years since last championship.

Correction:

AC stands for Anno Catuli, or year of the Cub...
02 - 2 years since divisional champs
65 - 65 years since league champs
102 - 102 years since world champs.... sigh.

And if I remember correctly, Barry also told me Eamus Catuli is Latin for, “We stink!”

Or "Go Cubs" depends on the year.

Before we could even get to the dugout, the guide started announcing that everyone had to leave. Knowing our boys would be crushed if they didn’t get to go in the dugout, I asked the guide if we could take them in there for a quick look-see. “Real quick,” the Dugout Nazi answered. “I mean, REAL QUICK. We’ve gotta go.” I’m not sure what exactly the hurry was—it was an off day for the Cubs. Maybe they thought the Cubs would sign our boys to un-tradeable $150 million contracts if they hung around.

Its possible, can they field a fly ball? That would be an upgrade in left.

Barry and I traded cameras so we could try and get pictures of each other with our kids in the dugout. It wasn’t much of a help. Our boys had barely sat down on the bench before the Dugout Nazi was yelling at us to get out. So much for our photo op. We basically just fired off as many pictures as we could while we walked back out.

Move it along. Nothing to see here.

Despite ending on a negative note, I thought the tour was a lot of fun. Very informative and interesting, and it was a thrill to see the historic ballpark in person. I knew Dave was happy, because he started talking about trying to get tickets to see a game there. And I knew Scotty was feeling normal, because he asked when we were going to eat lunch.

Kid's got his priorities.

Meanwhile...across town, the girls were checking out some modern art. Please feel free to interpret this piece.

Hello, this is American Express calling.

Let's start with the legal disclaimer. I was not with the womenfolk, so I did not witness these events. I am simply trying to piece together what exactly happened by using the information available to me, such as the photos and receipts in our possession.

They finally found the obscure doll shop and went inside. Both Madison and Sarah had brought dolls with them, and they wanted to see if they could find some accessories. Could they ever! The store had everything they could dream of: doll clothing sets ($598 apiece), pets ($973), doll sunglasses ($428), even storybooks featuring their dolls as characters (on sale for $737). The kids were like…well, girls in a doll store, and Bambi and Julie shared evil grins as they raced to see who could max out the credit cards first.

This sounds about accurate from our experience with the obscure doll store in question.

At the end of the shopping adventure, the girls were dismayed to learn that we still had a sliver of credit limit that was unused. So, they decided to have lunch in the restaurant on-site.
...
Sarah and Madison were obviously upset at being forced to eat lunch with their dolls, since they had been hoping to try a Chicago Superdawg instead. Look at these dismayed expressions. Poor kids.

The horror on their faces is palpable. Besides, everyone loves Superdawg!

They were even forced to eat things like hamburgers, french fries, and cinnamon rolls. ($84 apiece)

At the end of the meal ($1,293), Sarah decided that she needed to use the bathroom ($8). This store, as you can see, thought of everything:

Not quite everything. I don't see a Dad's bench.

After that, Julie found another credit card she hadn’t used yet. So they went to the Disney Store while they waited for us to get our lunch downtown. Barry and I were meeting a DISBoards celebrity!

Ooohhh. I love a good celebrity sighting.

Coming Up Next: A DIS-meet for lunch. A Showdown with My Nemesis. Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People.

Showdown?

 

[afwdwfan]

Dagnabbit. That's what happens when you don't proofread in the rush to post before lunch break is over.

I actually wasn't trying to pick on you in this case. I just wanted to make sure there's no misunderstandings about how bad the Cubs really are.

(And no, I'm not talking about Miller Park)

Hey, I've seen a game there. I like that park. I'd like it even better if they served a beer other than Miller products though.

What, like they don't do that in Philly?

No, Philly fans just throw batteries.

 

[middlepat]

Also handy if you are trying to house train a buffalo.

Spoke like a man with experience.

Isn't technology great? Using Facebook and the hotel's WiFi, it allowed two people to electronically communicate over vast distances and around large obstacles. Even if that distance was approximately 9 feet and the obstacle was a wall.

Fruit for breakfast! Nutritional score!

Purple is a fruit.

If anyone is wondering, the Wireless Network ID is "pressbox". And contrary to popular belief, the password is not "CubsSuck". It's "cc00000001".

CubSuck would be far too easy to crack.

Babe Ruth used that clubhouse when the Yankees visited for the 1932 World Series. Trying to contemplate the amount of hot dogs and beer consumed in that room is mind boggling.

Reminds me of the famed "called shot". Babe Ruth was just saying he wanted 1 more hot dog when he got back.

Close. 1937.
The groundskeeper said it would take 2 months to get all of the Ivy planted. Management gave him a week. He and his crew strung Christmas lights so they could work around the clock to get it planted.

I can't keep a fern alive for more than a week.

Typical Chicago labor negotiations.

I looked up the actual meaning, Anno Catuli. It's Latin for "In the Year of the Cubs."

beat me to it.

That one's pretty much spot on.

Again, depends on the year.

Same reason we couldn't see the Cubs Clubhouse - the team was still in town and was getting ready for an afternoon workout before heading up to Milwaukee for the next day's game.

Were they afraid for their jobs?

Come on, the Cubs would never do something that dumb.

Well, not that dumb again.

Sigh. Let's just move on with the TR...

Yes, but those 7 seconds in the Cubs dugout with live in the boys' memories for years to come.

What's the going rate for that therapy bill?

We've got a pretty historic stadium up here in Wisconsin that you may be interested in...

(And no, I'm not talking about Miller Park)

The Bradley Center?

Not sure what would be creepier - having a doll hang there and watch me while I did my business or having a small, doll sized toilet next to mine for the doll to sit on. Let's ask Brian, he probably has experience with these types of things.

Well, it depends on the situation and the level of.... wait, why are you asking me?

 

[middlepat]

I actually wasn't trying to pick on you in this case. I just wanted to make sure there's no misunderstandings about how bad the Cubs really are.

+1 and -1.
+1 for the inadvertant picking on my nemesis.
-1 for piling on the Cubs.

No, Philly fans just throw batteries.

Or snowballs.

 

[afwdwfan]

Or snowballs.

And then they'll boo Santa Claus.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Hey, I've seen a game there. I like that park. I'd like it even better if they served a beer other than Miller products though.

Yes, Miller Park is a fine stadium. But it's only 10 years old. If history is what you're looking for, you need to head about 3 hours to the north.

Oh, and you can get Leinenkugel's at Miller Park. True, it's owned by Miller, but I don't hold that against it.

Spoke like a man with experience.

I don't recommend smacking them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. It really just irritates them.

The Bradley Center?

Sure. That place is dripping in history. There was this one time that...um...maybe the Bucks did something notable there. Probably not.

Well, it depends on the situation and the level of.... wait, why are you asking me?

If I wanted to know something about the universe, I'd ask Stephen Hawking.
If I wanted to know something about about money, I'd ask Warren Buffet.
If I wanted to know something about creepy dolls, I'd ask middlepat.

Congratulations, you have now been mentioned in the same breath as Hawking and Buffet.

Or snowballs.

Or snowballs with batteries inside them.

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

Free from the navigation of Barry's "smart" phone, Bambi, Madison, Sarah and I found a bus that would take us to the American Girl Doll Store. When it became apparent that the bus we wanted was not coming we 1) Did not panic and start walking blocks on end and 2) Consulted the handy-dandy map at the bus stop. We discovered another bus could get us close so we hopped on and hopped off at the Chicago Museum of Modern Art. Which, if you're interested, is directly behind the American Girl Doll Store. That's where we found this lovely artwork titled "Phone with Femur". So we did what any tourist would do and stopped for the photo-op. (Check out the girls' expressions - we told them to look confused.)

When we rounded the corner both girls were all smiles. There were giggles. There was excitement!

Sarah had been saving her Christmas and birthday money for this moment. She wanted Kanani, the 2011 Girl of the Year. I mean, she's from Hawaii. What's not to like? We found the area designated for Kanani and the girls were happy to pose for more photos!

And here they're just posing!

The Captain and I had been in Chicago for a long weekend by ourselves in the summer of 2007. At that time Sarah had just gotten her first American Girl Doll the previous Christmas. We stopped by the store and I remember thinking "Wow. This place is printing money." I remember three stories of dolls, accessories, books, cafes, hair salons, photo shoots - you name it. We could have spent hours in there.

Armed with this knowledge, Bambi and I arrived at the store early in the morning so the girls could shop without being rushed before our 12:30 lunch seating. The store had moved locations since our trip and I thought it was going to be even BIGGER than before. But it wasn't. In fact, it was two stories. And we had pretty much seen everything in a half hour. The girls LOVED it, don't get me wrong - and I certainly didn't tell Sarah I remembered it being bigger.

One thing that was "Disney-esque" about the store was the various displays set up for their historical dolls. Each doll had a display made to look like her day. For example Kaya (an Eskimo) had a teepee set up surrounded by "Arctic" themed items. A TV filled the opening of the teepee and on it played a video of life in the teepee. Kit's display (1940s) was set up like her kitchen. The window was a TV. It showed kids playing in the backyard and animals scamping across from time to time. I probably could have spent more time here, but the girls were itching to pay.

Since we had time to kill before lunch, we wandered the mall attached to the store - Water Tower Place. Sarah had gotten wind that there was a Little Miss Matched store and we HAD to visit there. They were building a brand new SUPER Lego store that was set to open this fall. In the meantime, the Lego store we wandered in was smaller than the one in Delaware. The girls did meet a new friend....

After this it was time to check in for lunch. We gave our names and joined the bunch of moms and daughters waiting for the doors to open. We stood in an empty space and waited. I must say that I felt somewhat sorry for the little brothers that were dragged along to this. I was very, VERY thankful that David and Scotty were not waiting there with us!

As we waited, the White Line Nazi (who must be married to the Dug Out Nazi) told us that "YOU MUST STAND BEHIND THE WHITE LINE!!!!" This was news to us. We were in front of the white line. We shimmed back and that seemed to pacified her.

Finally the doors opened and we could eat lunch!

Both Bambi and I were slightly disappointed that menu items we had seen online were not available at the Cafe. The girls REALLY enjoyed it though. The Mini-Cinnamon Rolls? My favorite.


And yes, we did visit the bathroom on the way out...

After lunch, our job was to meet up with the boys. After making a phone call to them, wandering the Disney Store, making another phone call to them, walking down Michigan Avenue, making ANOTHER phone call to them, well...the girls just sat down...

And that's what happened. Honest Injun. I'll let the Captain take it over from here.....


Coming Up Next: A DIS-meet for lunch. (I had nothing to do with this one....but my kids like the Chicago shirts!) A Showdown with My Nemesis. (Really, honey? A nemesis? You didn't even have your goatee at this point of the trip.) Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People. (Yes, we were very, very hungry....)

 

[E3yore]

Meanwhile...across town

Why would you even try?

They finally found the obscure doll shop and went inside. Both Madison and Sarah had brought dolls with them, and they wanted to see if they could find some accessories. Could they ever! The store had everything they could dream of: doll clothing sets ($598 apiece), pets ($973), doll sunglasses ($428), even storybooks featuring their dolls as characters (on sale for $737). The kids were like…well, girls in a doll store, and Bambi and Julie shared evil grins as they raced to see who could max out the credit cards first.

Those must be the made up receipts so that it looks like Julie spent more than you did at Wriggly.

If it makes you feel better I am sure I spent way more than Julie and would have spent more if I would have wanted to actually give Barry a heart attack. Turns out I was feeling generous that day and only gave him a mild coronary.

Madison and Sarah took the opportunity to try and model for next year’s doll line.

They would both make great additions to the doll lineup. They are both so cute.

At the end of the shopping adventure, the girls were dismayed to learn that we still had a sliver of credit limit that was unused. So, they decided to have lunch in the restaurant on-site.

This was the plan all along.

While they waited for their lunch date, they explored the Lego Store nearby. Madison and Sarah found a friend in each other. And in Woody.

They do make good friends. Speaking of which thanks for the get well card for Madison. I think it did the job Sarah intended it to do.

Sarah and Madison were obviously upset at being forced to eat lunch with their dolls, since they had been hoping to try a Chicago Superdawg instead. Look at these dismayed expressions. Poor kids.

They were even forced to eat things like hamburgers, french fries, and cinnamon rolls. ($84 apiece)

Complete torn that they had to eat at the cafe.

Again, where are you getting these receipts?

Madison was not a fan of the pizza and it did have a funny taste. If I had to guess they used Swiss cheese on the pizza and being from WI that is just wrong.

Speaking of food where are the pictures of the food?

After that, Julie found another credit card she hadn’t used yet. So they went to the Disney Store while they waited for us to get our lunch downtown.

After being back only 2 weeks from Disney I was in withdrawal.

Coming Up Next: A DIS-meet for lunch. A Showdown with My Nemesis. Plus, the Trials and Travails of 14 Extremely Hungry People.

Are you nemesis's like Barry and Tim? Because they are awful at it.

Free from the navigation of Barry's "smart" phone, Bambi, Madison, Sarah and I found a bus that would take us to the American Girl Doll Store. When it became apparent that the bus we wanted was not coming we 1) Did not panic and start walking blocks on end and 2) Consulted the handy-dandy map at the bus stop. We discovered another bus could get us close so we hopped on and hopped off at the Chicago Museum of Modern Art.

Although, if I recall correctly it was Barry that gave us the wrong bus number.

When we rounded the corner both girls were all smiles. There were giggles. There was excitement!

Sarah and Madison were excited too.

As we waited, the White Line Nazi (who must be married to the Dug Out Nazi) told us that "YOU MUST STAND BEHIND THE WHITE LINE!!!!" This was news to us. We were in front of the white line. We shimmed back and that seemed to pacified her.

I forgot about her.

Both Bambi and I were slightly disappointed that menu items we had seen online were not available at the Cafe. The girls REALLY enjoyed it though. The Mini-Cinnamon Rolls? My favorite.

The dessert was pretty good too.

After lunch, our job was to meet up with the boys. After making a phone call to them, wandering the Disney Store, making another phone call to them, walking down Michigan Avenue, making ANOTHER phone call to them, well...the girls just sat down...

This is when we had the Asian family that wanted to take their picture with Madison. I have no idea why but the little girl was in love with her and then Grandma wanted a picture as well. Madison is not one to turn down her fans.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Sarah had been saving her Christmas and birthday money for this moment. She wanted Kanani, the 2011 Girl of the Year. I mean, she's from Hawaii. What's not to like?

Did she come with her own can of SPAM?

After this it was time to check in for lunch. We gave our names and joined the bunch of moms and daughters waiting for the doors to open. We stood in an empty space and waited. I must say that I felt somewhat sorry for the little brothers that were dragged along to this. I was very, VERY thankful that David and Scotty were not waiting there with us!

But imagine how much fun Dave, Scotty and Evan would have staging epic battle scenes with the dolls? Don't get me wrong, Mark and I would still be at Wrigley, but the boys would probably have fun. Until you all got kicked out, that is.

If it makes you feel better I am sure I spent way more than Julie and would have spent more if I would have wanted to actually give Barry a heart attack. Turns out I was feeling generous that day and only gave him a mild coronary.

Yeah, my Spidey Sense started tingling right about the time we were walking into the stadium. It's a good thing I always carry a small brown paper bag with me to breathe into until the bank-induced panic attack subsides.

They do make good friends. Speaking of which thanks for the get well card for Madison. I think it did the job Sarah intended it to do.

I still have that tune stuck in my head.

Are you nemesis's like Barry and Tim? Because they are awful at it.

What to you mean? I totally hate that guy.

That reminds me, I should probably text him and find out how his kids are doing...

Although, if I recall correctly it was Barry that gave us the wrong bus number.

No, that was the right bus number. I can't help it if the bus never came. Another thing to blame on the CTA.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Looked like a great morning was had by all...even those poor girls who had to go to the doll store. Judy's visited the store and had always wished she could get our girls to it (back when they had A.G. dolls). Hey, at least you know what you can get them for Christmas or birthdays. Once they grow out of it, their tastes get even more expensive, believe it or not.

I like to poke fun, but the A.G. line is nice, and I'm glad my daughter enjoys it.

I don't need to hear anything about expensive tastes! (fingers in ears) La la la la la...

I can't wait to read your update, but I can't see pictures at work...specifically photobucket pictures. Funny, though, cause I thought I was able to see your last pictures. Hmmmmm - going to check that out. Maybe more sites are blocked today. EERRRR!

Well, that's weird. I don't use photobucket--I use Picasa to store photos online. Hopefully it'll work for you at some point.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Free... You're probably looking at about $1.75 scattered on the floor there. You just didn't read the fine print.

Well, at least we managed to salvage the crossword puzzle.

I don't know about that... you guys had to go see the place where the Chicago Cubs allegedly play baseball. I'm trying to figure out what's so great about that.

The stadium is historic, if not necessarily the teams that have played there.

That's what you get for wearing a hockey shirt.

It was worth it.

Then why aren't their maps as good as Disney's?

Well, the window-sticker guy probably hasn't talked to the map guy.

Well, that's not as bad as the Bengals jersey I see in the background of the clubhouse picture. It really takes some, um... nerves, to wear an obnoxious orange Bungles jersey in public.

Good point. At least the Flyers won something. Many, many moons ago.

Bert's roommate!

I never knew his last name was Banks!

What? The Cubs never lock themselves into ridiculous contracts. Except for that one time... and that other time and the time before that.

Barry may have some more information on this.

What happened to our guest writer!?!? Are Julie and Bambi suddenly shy and afraid we'll make fun of them the way we make fun of you?

Looks like she showed up. Somehow, they don't seem all that intimidated by us.

My interpretation is that art should be like candy for the eyes. If I have to think about it, it isn't art...

My rule is: if it looks like something I could do, it ain't art.

Would have been cheaper to buy everyone front row seats behind home plate for a Cubs game.

Amen to that.

Uh oh... never stand between 14 hungry people and food.

I blame my nemesis.

Also handy if you are trying to house train a buffalo.

Pictures or it didn't happen!

Isn't technology great? Using Facebook and the hotel's WiFi, it allowed two people to electronically communicate over vast distances and around large obstacles. Even if that distance was approximately 9 feet and the obstacle was a wall.

Technology: enabling lazy, fat slobs all over the world. I think the biggest debate was over who was actually going to walk that 9 feet.

I didn't even mention the wind sprints our kids were running in your room that morning. Good thing you had understanding neighbors.

Fruit for breakfast! Nutritional score!

Almost as good as chocolate cake for breakfast!

Close. He did like you, but trying to shove you in front of an oncoming bus is actually part of his way of showing that. Trying to get a good read on what is going on in his head is like...well, like trying to get a good read on what is going on in Scotty's head.

I'm still wondering how getting the two of them together didn't result in a mushroom cloud over Chicago.

And drank heavily. He did that there, too.

That's not some kind of urban legend?

Sorry, I couldn't type that with a straight face.

If anyone is wondering, the Wireless Network ID is "pressbox". And contrary to popular belief, the password is not "CubsSuck". It's "cc00000001".

Suddenly, the Cubs are wondering why their bandwidth is so bogged down.

Babe Ruth used that clubhouse when the Yankees visited for the 1932 World Series. Trying to contemplate the amount of hot dogs and beer consumed in that room is mind boggling.

It must have rivaled Harry Caray's booth.

Close. 1937.
The groundskeeper said it would take 2 months to get all of the Ivy planted. Management gave him a week. He and his crew strung Christmas lights so they could work around the clock to get it planted.

I can't keep a fern alive for more than a week.

Look closely. The ivy is actually plastic.

I looked up the actual meaning, Anno Catuli. It's Latin for "In the Year of the Cubs."


That one's pretty much spot on.

Amazing how much more accurate you can be when you actually look things up instead of relying on a 37- D'oh! I mean, 36-year-old memory.

Same reason we couldn't see the Cubs Clubhouse - the team was still in town and was getting ready for an afternoon workout before heading up to Milwaukee for the next day's game.

That's right. Being a state employee, the concept of working on your off-day is foreign to me.

Come on, the Cubs would never do something that dumb.

Well, not that dumb again.

Sigh. Let's just move on with the TR...

Dave, Evan and Scotty might be a better investment.

Yes, but those 7 seconds in the Cubs dugout with live in the boys' memories for years to come.

At least they can say their rear ends were planted in the same place as the Cubs'.

We've got a pretty historic stadium up here in Wisconsin that you may be interested in...

(And no, I'm not talking about Miller Park)

And I am very interested in that one. Heck, I'd tour Miller Park, too.

And the accounts of two young girls talking a million miles an hour about it.

That may or may not have had anything to do with it.

You guys got discounts!?!? Lucky you...

Not sure what would be creepier - having a doll hang there and watch me while I did my business or having a small, doll sized toilet next to mine for the doll to sit on. Let's ask Brian, he probably has experience with these types of things.

Good idea. What do you think, Brian?