Rust Belt Road Trip (2 UPDATES--1/18)

[Captain_Oblivious]

Hi-diddley-ho, neighborinos! I'm back with a brand-new trip report about our recently-completed 11-day, 9-state, 2341.4-mile road trip through America's Rust Belt. How did we arrive at the decision to make this trip our vacation for the year?

<<<insert wavy effects and flashback sounds>>>

Dateline: September 2010.

We had just returned from a wonderful week at Walt Disney World (you can read about it here), and naturally wanted to start planning our next vacation rather than consider the reality of returning to work, laundry piles, etc.

Me: So where should we go next year?

DW: Disney World!

Me: I agree. Let's start planning.

DW: Wait...your parents won't be going with us and paying for the lodging next year.

Me: Crap. (thinking) Have we hit the lottery yet?

DW: No.

Me: Ok, Disney World is out. What else can we do?

DW: (thinking) Disneyland?

Me: It probably needs to be someplace within driving distance. (snaps fingers) Hey, I have an idea!

DW: An idea? What is it?

Me: It's a new thought born out of inspiration, but that's not important right now.

DW: No, I mean, what's your idea?

Me: We could drive out to Chicago and back, doing a big loop to hit various attractions and destinations along the way. We loved Chicago when we were there in 2007. And there are a bunch of DisDads and other friends out that way that we could meet up with, too.

DW: (furrows brow) DisDads? Are they your slightly psychotic online buddies in that club? The ones with the illegal logo that always make fun of you on Facebook?

Me: Yes. Yes, they are.

DW: So you want to drive thousands of miles in the middle of summer cooped up with 3 kids in a minivan going to places we've never been before and hang out with people you've never actually met? What could possibly go wrong?

<<<(More wavy effects and end-of-flashback noises)>>>

Thus, the 2011 Rust Belt Road Trip was born. Our cast of characters:

ME: Mark. Age 37. Native of Delaware (known as a Delaweenie), Philly sports fan, movie buff, Disney geek, and general nerd.

DW: Julie. Age 29 (). Native of Pennsylvania. Aspiring photographer, arts-and-crafts lover, World's Greatest Wife And Mother® (totally objective opinion), and maker of Julie's Key Lime Pie Of Awesomeness©. Also nerdy in a cuter way.

DD: Sarah. Age 9. Native Delaweenie. Future paleontologist or architect, or perhaps paleo-architect. Also loves movies and National Parks.

DS: David. Age 7. Native Delaweenie. Future baseball player, if my steroid guy comes through. Loves sports, sports and anything to do with sports.

DS: Scott. Age 5. Native Delaweenie. Future...something. Scotty's kind of unique. May end up a veterinarian, with his love of animals (especially dogs). May end up a late-night-talk-show-host. I dunno. Whatever he does, it'll be entertaining.

If you're still reading along, welcome! Also: what's wrong with you? In any case, I assume you're along for the ride, so thanks for being here!

Coming Up Next:We travel to Paradise! And then Pittsburgh.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Trip Report Shameless Plug Center

Day 1: July 21, 2011
Miles to Go Before We Sleep
Putting the "Fun" in Funicular
Cuyahoga! (I just like saying "Cuyahoga")
X-Winging It

Day 2: July 22, 2011
Pigskin Paradise

Day 3: July 23, 2011
The Lake Effect
A Long Walk on a Short Pier

Day 4: July 24, 2011
Warning: Science In Progress
Planes, Trains & Automobiles. And other stuff.
The Twilight Zone Before The Tower

Day 5: July 25, 2011
Double The Fun
Meets, Greets, and Stuck On The Street

Day 6: July 26, 2011
Musical Fruit and Cow Pies
Dino-Mite!
Stopher & Puh-sketti

Day 7: July 27, 2011
The Day We Gave Our Kids Blunt Instruments
Another Trip to Paradise
A Little Heavy Water Never Hurt Anybody

Day 8: July 28, 2011
Back In Time and Tunneling Down
Stuffing Our Pie-holes

Day 9: July 29, 2011
Country Roads, Take Me Home

Day 10: July 30, 2011
What Goes Up...
Black Water

Day 11: July 31, 2011
To Infinity And Delaware

The Afterschool Special Part
Next Trip Currently Under Construction

 

[KatMark]

Am I first?

Now back to read.

****Okay, I've read. Great itntros!

I've plugged your TR on my PTR.

 

[RodBelding]

Joining in! Can't wait to read about it!

 

[scott2997]

Hilarious Mark...following....it's gonna be a great ride

 

[All7OfUs]

Hey Mark, thanks for the shameless plug! Under the best of circumstances it would have taken me months to find this sucker!

 

[glennbo123]

More adventures of Capt. Oblivious, Mrs. Knowitall, and company! Can't wait!

(And thanks for the heads-up!)

P.S. Loved the Airplane!-inspired dialogue.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

<<<insert wavy effects and flashback sounds>>>

Ooooo...high effects for a Trip Report. I have high hopes for the rest of it!

DW: (furrows brow) DisDads? Are they your slightly psychotic online buddies in that club? The ones with the illegal logo that always make fun of you on Facebook?

I can't wait to be intrigued by the first part, excited about the part that I'm in, then generally lose interest after that!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Am I first?

Now back to read.

****Okay, I've read. Great itntros!

I've plugged your TR on my PTR.

Kathy! You are indeed first! Pick up your prize at the customer service desk.

I'm glad you'll be reading along! (and providing a celebrity cameo) (spoiler)

And thanks for posting the link! I need to go catch up on your PTR now.

Joining in! Can't wait to read about it!

Paul! Thanks for reading!

Hilarious Mark...following....it's gonna be a great ride

Thanks Scott, and

Hey Mark, thanks for the shameless plug! Under the best of circumstances it would have taken me months to find this sucker!

Liesa! I'm glad you found me ok. It's more fun with you around!

More adventures of Capt. Oblivious, Mrs. Knowitall, and company! Can't wait!

(And thanks for the heads-up!)

P.S. Loved the Airplane!-inspired dialogue.

Glenn! Thanks for joining in.

And you didn't think I could quit the movie-quoting cold turkey, did you?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Don't want you to feel left out with the smilies, so Barry!

Ooooo...high effects for a Trip Report. I have high hopes for the rest of it!

Um...yeah...about that...

I can't wait to be intrigued by the first part, excited about the part that I'm in, then generally lose interest after that!

Wow, thanks! ...I think.

And way to spoil another celebrity cameo. Sheesh.

 

[mickeystoontown]

Followed the link from Kathy's pre-trip report. Looking forward to reading more.

 

[afwdwfan]

It has been a slow day at work... I was glad to see your shameless plug when I got back from lunch!

Hi-diddley-ho, neighborinos!

Ned Flanders - The Simpsons

DW: (thinking) Disneyland?

Mark, you are a lucky man to be married to a woman who thinks like that!

DW: (furrows brow) DisDads? Are they your slightly psychotic online buddies in that club?

Ok, now she's just over thinking things... we're not that psychotic... are we?

ME: Mark. Age 37. Native of Delaware (known as a Delaweenie)

You said it...

perhaps paleo-architect.

So would that be the study of houses dinosaurs lived in, or someone who designs buildings to house dinosaurs when some white haired billionaire plays with nature and clones them from DNA obtained from fossilized mosquitoes?

Future baseball player, if my steroid guy comes through.

Good idea. Get him started on them now so that he doesn't have to explain his head getting 2 hat sizes bigger after he's been in the big leagues for 5 years.


I look forward to reading about your trip... and maybe making fun of you when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[middlepat]

DW: (furrows brow) DisDads? Are they your slightly psychotic online buddies in that club? The ones with the illegal logo that always make fun of you on Facebook?

Slightly Psychotic? C'mon, we are full blown psychotic!

Can't wait to hear about your trip.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Ok, now she's just over thinking things... we're not that psychotic... are we?

I'm not psychotic at all. Oh, I've tried to see the future - crystal balls, tea leaves, huffing gasoline fumes - but none of it worked.




Luckily the voices in my head tell me everything I need to know about the future!

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

ME: Mark. Age 37. Native of Delaware (known as a Delaweenie), Philly sports fan, movie buff, Disney geek, and general nerd.

Dude. You're still 36.

DW: Julie. Age 29 (). Native of Pennsylvania. Aspiring photographer, arts-and-crafts lover, World's Greatest Wife And Mother® (totally objective opinion), and maker of Julie's Key Lime Pie Of Awesomeness©. Also nerdy in a cuter way.

(And for the record....I'm a few months older than the Captain....who apparently is having a senior moment and thinking that he's older than he really is.)

 

[KatMark]

Dude. You're still 36.




(And for the record....I'm a few months older than the Captain....who apparently is having a senior moment and thinking that he's older than he really is.)

She's already on you, Mark.

Julie, sorry I didn't get to meet you when you were here.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Followed the link from Kathy's pre-trip report. Looking forward to reading more.

Thanks for coming over to my neck of the woods!

It has been a slow day at work... I was glad to see your shameless plug when I got back from lunch!

Andy! That's a much better greeting than Barry's.

Ned Flanders - The Simpsons

+1

Mark, you are a lucky man to be married to a woman who thinks like that!

Very lucky indeed.

(Well, most of the time. See below.)

So would that be the study of houses dinosaurs lived in, or someone who designs buildings to house dinosaurs when some white haired billionaire plays with nature and clones them from DNA obtained from fossilized mosquitoes?

Jurassic Park! Oh, wait...

Actually, I was hoping it meant she would be hired for the renovation of the Dinosaur ride at AK.

Good idea. Get him started on them now so that he doesn't have to explain his head getting 2 hat sizes bigger after he's been in the big leagues for 5 years.

That's the plan. Then I'll teach him how to ignore autograph-seeking kids and act extra surly towards the media.

I look forward to reading about your trip... and maybe making fun of you when the opportunity presents itself.

Like that has ever happened before.

Slightly Psychotic? C'mon, we are full blown psychotic!

Can't wait to hear about your trip.

Well, I was trying not to scare off the others.

Nemesis!

I'm not psychotic at all. Oh, I've tried to see the future - crystal balls, tea leaves, huffing gasoline fumes - but none of it worked.




Luckily the voices in my head tell me everything I need to know about the future!

Are they telling you anything about the Cubs' chances this year?

Dude. You're still 36.

And with that, let's all say to my lovely bride, Mrs. Knowitall!

Hi honey!

See that? She rips on me without even so much as a greeting, and still gets the big welcome smiley. She obviously has trained me well.

(And for the record....I'm a few months older than the Captain....who apparently is having a senior moment and thinking that he's older than he really is.)

See, I was trying to plan ahead, since I really will be 37 in a couple of months, and these TR's live on forever and ever, and it's really a pain in the butt to have to go back and keep changing numbers over and over to keep things up to date. So I was being proactive here, keeping the TR as low-maintenance as possible. Remember, there's always a method to the madness.

Or I'm just an idiot. I wonder which explanation you guys will accept.

She's already on you, Mark.

Julie, sorry I didn't get to meet you when you were here.

I feel somewhat relieved that you didn't meet her...

So now do I go back and edit the first post with my correct age, or do I leave it as evidence of my idiocy? It's not like there won't be plenty more evidence down the road.

 

[jason4024]

Just found your report. Cant wait to follow along!

 

[marvali]

I'm here and joining in! Will try and get back soon to get caught up.......

 

[KatMark]

I feel somewhat relieved that you didn't meet her...

Oh, Mark.

So now do I go back and edit the first post with my correct age, or do I leave it as evidence of my idiocy? It's not like there won't be plenty more evidence down the road.

I say leave it alone so everyone sees the REAL you.