Running/Graves Disease & Xenadrine - Sorry, so long.

[NYPDwife]

I want to start running again, but let me give you a background first...

I'm 33 and I'm EXTREMELY LAZY. I always have been. I'd rather being doing this and this instead of being active, you know, taking the kids to the park, etc.

In 2003 I was getting married and decided to take off a bunch of weight. I was about 130 and had just adopted a german shepard and started a new job in Manhattan. Every morning, I was up at 3, took two Xenadrine and took my shepard for a run. I WAS able to run about 8 laps (2 miles) either every day or every other day.

Cut to the wedding. I weighed about 118 and felt great, still a little baby flab here and there, but I looked good. Afterwards, I stopped running alot, and became lazy again. But my heart was always racing and I would get really impatient really fast.

In July of 2004, I was diagnosed with Graves hyperthyroidism (GH). Great. What this means is, my thyroid is sending out too many hormones and this in turn makes me feel really pissed and edgy and tired all at the same time. While this also helped with my weight, it made me depressed. I have a "staring eye" and it upsets me. I always had these beautiful, brown, almond shaped eyes and now I'm consistenly hiding them behind glasses b/c I hate for people to look at me. The doctor's tried to treat my GH with Tapazole and within months I gained almost 15 pounds. The laziness didn't help. I took the pills for a few months and when my eye didn't get better, I said screw it, I'll deal with the palpitations, but I can't deal with my weight and dropped taking my meds. I know this is dangerous, but I feel so depressed and if you can believe, even more tired on the Tapazole. I even tried different meds with the same effects. I don't want to have to take meds every day for the rest of my life and this depresses me even more.

Cut to 2008, and a whopping 27 lbs. overweight (I'm 4'9" and I should weigh 111), I have decided to start running again. Here's my issue, the last time I did this was 2003. I have 6 & 8 y/o and hubby is a cop who works alot and goes to work around 12 pm and comes home at 3 am so I mainly do everything and I work a p/t job from 10-3 everyday. My house is a mess, and I feel fat and ugly. I'm not looking for pity, I know it's my fault. I need help.

Is anyone good at planning schedules? Can you help me figure out a schedule for myself? I need to get back on track to lose weight and get my life and house organized.

I cry as I write this b/c my husband deserves a neater home and my kids deserve a mom who wants to get her lazy butt off the couch.

I think I'm going to ask my doc for the surgery to just remove 1/2 of my thyroid so I can go on the meds to give me more energy but I don't know how this will go with the insurance.

I tend to hide my depression from my family and I don't talk about it to hubby though I love him dearly, but I feel desperate.

 

[fofinia]

Hi. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I had a client (I'm a hairstylist)who had Graves and was treated successfully. She was overweight when she found out she had Graves. And then she went on two different meds to treat it. She also did Weight Watchers. She lost about 30-40 lbs. And she looks really good. I'm sorry I don't know what her meds were. But she speaks highly of WW helping her. I've done WW myself and lost 25lbs. I'm not sure how much of a diet you need or that your body will respond to. But WW is a good place to start. But there is hope that you can get better from this.

As far as getting more active. Do you enjoy running? Is there something else you would enjoy doing more? If you are having heart palpitations should you be running? Or would a less stressful exercise be better for you? Could you try walking first? If you have to work at 10am, do you have time before that? How about between the time you drop the kids at school or the bus? Could you go for a walk then? Do you still live in the city? Could you just walk more often?

If you can try not to focus on your house right now. Being depressed is a really hard thing to come out of. But a lot of times doing something for you will help you to feel better about other things in your life. If you have a little down time between getting the kids to school and you to work, try fitting in some activity then. If not maybe after you get home from work. Do something the kids will like so they can go with you. Sometimes in the summer I will just go outside with my DD's and run and kick a ball up against the house. It's not "exercise" per say but it is cause I'm running around.

Most people are going to suggest getting up earlier than you do and working out. And that is a great suggestion. But when you are feeling down getting up earlier is not as easy as it seems. I hate to get up early! And if that is what I'm counting on to get my exercise in it doesn't happen.

I drop my DD 6 at school and then DD3 and myself head to a walking trail 3 or 4 days a week. I push her in her carriage and I walk. I bring my Ipod and some toys and snacks for her and we go. I haven't been going as much since it's winter. But I can't wait to get back to it. I'm fortunate that I'm a stay at home mom and I don't have to rush off anywhere. But if you live somewhere you can walk without having to drive there first (like me) then you could shave some time off.

Perhaps you might like other things better. Rollerblading, aerobics (you can pop a tape in at home anytime), even just putting on a few favorite songs in a row and dancing around the house.

And one other thing about having a neater home. Is there any one thing you've noticed that if you do it you feel better about your house? for instance, I love when my house is freshly vacuumed. I can do nothing else but vacuum and I will feel instantly better about my house and myself. And then when it's vacuumed I want to pick up other things. But I can't stand walking around looking at the carpet with stuff all over it. Don't get me started on how little time it takes for it to be gross again though!!! LOL!

Good luck! Don't beat yourself up so much. One day at a time, One meal at a time, One step at a time. That's how you get yourself feeling better!

 

[swim-mom]

Please PM me, I have a thyroid problem and have had it since I started taking Hydrotoxicut and I would love to talk to you

 

[NYPDwife]

Okay, I'm re-reading my post and I sound like a nut!!! Sorry, I know I'm having issues and I do need help, but please don't think I'm crazy.

 

[fofinia]

Okay, I'm re-reading my post and I sound like a nut!!! Sorry, I know I'm having issues and I do need help, but please don't think I'm crazy.

I don't think you are crazy! We all go through hard times. And being overweight doesn't help!!

I hope you are feeling a little better!

Good luck!

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

I am so happy you have decided that you are ready to ask for help. I'm thinking you can make small things happen and work from there. Find one thing a day you can do that makes you healthier/happy and see if you can build that before you get yourself scheduled. Get the kids involved and do some fun things moving around with them. Seems like looking at the big picture is at times overwhelming. Definitely keep the medical pros in on your decisions. You don't want to risk your health.

Good luck on your journey. Let us know how things are progressing.