Roommates in college - what is reasonable to share?

[zurgswife]

I think most readers missed that it is not a SHARED room. Each girl has a separate room. Your dd would have to be there or leave her room unlocked so the suite mate could access her printer..

I have 2 in college this year and while sharing helps save money; it doesn't work if it would cause some a hard ship ie your dd needing to be present to print or leave her room unlocked.

 

[golfgal]

Just what exactly is the roommate sharing with your DD

1. Adding the roommate to your insurance would have ZERO effect on your insurance rates--good chance they know this.

2. NEVER let anyone that isn't immediate family drive your cars. If they are in an accident it is YOUR assets that are attacked, not theirs (and your insurance that pays and your rates that go up).

3. If the roommate had asked nicely I would have probably said no big deal, you buy the ink, I will buy the paper. Since the roommate is a brat, I would tell her for the price of a couple ink cartridges you can buy your own printer. There is ZERO chance this roommate will actually PAY for any printer supplies.

4. Why doesn't her mom want her to have a printer for COLLEGE???

5. Dating is not up to the friend, it is up to the BOY if they want to date or not.

This girl REALLY needs to get over herself .

 

[pigletgirl]

I lived in a house with 3 other girls my sophomore and junior year of college. We had our own separate bedrooms and shared a bathroom. We also had our own cabinet for food and stuff. There are many things we did share, including printers. All we asked was that if you use it, you need to be buying printer paper and cartridges. Other than that, it was free to use by all.

I guess what I'm confused about is, why is this such an issue? They need to work this stuff out now before anything else comes up (because it will). If she wants to keep her printer in her own room that is fine, and the girl does need to ask, but there is no problem with her using it in my mind.

As for the car, ehhh, best to keep that to yourself. I'm sure she can get a bike and/or walk. Its not convienent, but those are her options.

GL to your DD!

 

[disykat]

Am I really the only parent sending my child to school without a printer? They have printing station in the dorms and almost every building there. He doesn't think he'll need one - if he does, he'll pick one up later.


My son has a microwave and has a tv (he won it at work). His roommate has a fridge and a vacuum. They should be golden. They have a third roommate who won't respond to their emails, facebook, etc. We have no idea what he has.

Their room will be CROWDED. My son doesn't want a printer taking up space.

 

[golfgal]

I lived in a house with 3 other girls my sophomore and junior year of college. We had our own separate bedrooms and shared a bathroom. We also had our own cabinet for food and stuff. There are many things we did share, including printers. All we asked was that if you use it, you need to be buying printer paper and cartridges. Other than that, it was free to use by all.

I guess what I'm confused about is, why is this such an issue? They need to work this stuff out now before anything else comes up (because it will). If she wants to keep her printer in her own room that is fine, and the girl does need to ask, but there is no problem with her using it in my mind.

As for the car, ehhh, best to keep that to yourself. I'm sure she can get a bike and/or walk. Its not convienent, but those are her options.

GL to your DD!

To me it's the attitude of the girl, not the sharing of the printer that is of issue here.

 

[bengeneric]

Given the relatively reasonable cost of printers nowadays, the only reason I can think that this girl would insist on sharing a printer is to have access to the contents of your daughter's computer. That is perhaps a bit paranoid, but the only reason I can come up with that makes and sense (other than general craziness).

 

[pigletgirl]

To me it's the attitude of the girl, not the sharing of the printer that is of issue here.

To me it sounds like each girl has their own idea of how it should be, and they need to sit down and work it out, otherwise both will be miserable.

Anyways -- regarding the boys, your DD needs to tell the roommate to chill out!

 

[Michelle67]

I agree that it would be really awkward to be sharing a printer that is located in the daughter's bedroom. What happens when they both have papers due and need it at the same time? What happens during finals week if the daughter is trying to sleep and the room mate is frantically trying to finish a term paper at 2 am? Printers are very cheap, often cheaper than replacement cartridges as has been pointed out, and the room mate should really just get her own. It is as much a school supply in college as buying your own pens, notebooks, and textbooks.

And speaking of awkward, I'm going to be the odd man out and say that I'm with the room mate on the issue of preferring the daughter not date her friends. Yes, it is ultimately up to the boy and girl whom they choose to date. On the other hand...how many of you have had the experience, particularly when young and relationships are most always short-term, of having a friend date a friend? Then they break up and you are suddenly in an awkward position of them not wanting to be around one another or even worse trash-talking one another. So if one of the friends is your room mate...then what? You can't have your friend over to hang out because they don't want to be around each other? When I was in college my room mate dated two of my friends (not at the same time) and both times it ended up being a really awkward situation. I think it's smarter to see that one coming and try to avoid it if possible.

 

[golfgal]

Am I really the only parent sending my child to school without a printer? They have printing station in the dorms and almost every building there. He doesn't think he'll need one - if he does, he'll pick one up later.


My son has a microwave and has a tv (he won it at work). His roommate has a fridge and a vacuum. They should be golden. They have a third roommate who won't respond to their emails, facebook, etc. We have no idea what he has.

Their room will be CROWDED. My son doesn't want a printer taking up space.

Not all dorms have this. DS19's dorm last year did. The problem is that there were a couple hundred people printing to these 3 printers they had and sometimes it took a couple hours for your paper to show up in the queue--or more of no one was monitoring the paper levels, etc.

To me it sounds like each girl has their own idea of how it should be, and they need to sit down and work it out, otherwise both will be miserable.

Anyways -- regarding the boys, your DD needs to tell the roommate to chill out!

REALLY---"can I share your car and add me to your insurance" and "my mom thinks you are bratty because you won't share your printer" ??? and "you can't date my guy friends"????? Do you really think someone with that kind of attitude toward other people's things/feelings is going to work something out??

 

[golfgal]

I agree that it would be really awkward to be sharing a printer that is located in the daughter's bedroom. What happens when they both have papers due and need it at the same time? What happens during finals week if the daughter is trying to sleep and the room mate is frantically trying to finish a term paper at 2 am? Printers are very cheap, often cheaper than replacement cartridges as has been pointed out, and the room mate should really just get her own. It is as much a school supply in college as buying your own pens, notebooks, and textbooks.

And speaking of awkward, I'm going to be the odd man out and say that I'm with the room mate on the issue of preferring the daughter not date her friends. Yes, it is ultimately up to the boy and girl whom they choose to date. On the other hand...how many of you have had the experience, particularly when young and relationships are most always short-term, of having a friend date a friend? Then they break up and you are suddenly in an awkward position of them not wanting to be around one another or even worse trash-talking one another. So if one of the friends is your room mate...then what? You can't have your friend over to hang out because they don't want to be around each other? When I was in college my room mate dated two of my friends (not at the same time) and both times it ended up being a really awkward situation. I think it's smarter to see that one coming and try to avoid it if possible.

Or they can pretend to be mature about it and be polite to that person should this case arise...besides, they have separate bedrooms, the "awkward" roommate can then just hang out in her own room if need be.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

With how much I used a printer in college and how expensive ink cartridges are, I would not be sharing.

Last minute printer-just-crapped-out emergency yes. On a regular basis, hell no.

 

[Brier Rose]

DD was in a dorm last year with 3 girls, only one of which had a printer. They became pretty good friends over the year, but DD NEVER used her printer. She knows how expensive ink can be, paper, etc., and to keep things uncomplicated wouldn't have even asked.

I was going to buy her a printer of her own, but the school gives each student a $75.00 credit for printing, and she didn't want to waste it, so she just went to the library, or printing station.

Now we are only 1 week into THIS year, new rommie, and in an apartment this go round. She didn't get to pick her roommate, and things have been..interesting.

The girl has already been in all of DD's groceries (they have a full kitchen) WITHOUT asking, she did bring some cooking utensils, flatware, etc., but uses DD's instead because they are "cuter" (and leaves them dirty!), and
despite DD's best efforts to be friendly and get to know the girl, she won't even try to make polite converstaion, but feels it's appropriate to ask DD if her designer purses are real, and if we give her money every week??

I'll have to tell DD to be glad she hasn't asked to borrow her car! Should make her feel MUCH better about the crumbs left in the butter tub.

 

[pigletgirl]

Not all dorms have this. DS19's dorm last year did. The problem is that there were a couple hundred people printing to these 3 printers they had and sometimes it took a couple hours for your paper to show up in the queue--or more of no one was monitoring the paper levels, etc.



REALLY---"can I share your car and add me to your insurance" and "my mom thinks you are bratty because you won't share your printer" ??? and "you can't date my guy friends"????? Do you really think someone with that kind of attitude toward other people's things/feelings is going to work something out??

You never know until you try.

 

[Michelle67]

Or they can pretend to be mature about it and be polite to that person should this case arise...besides, they have separate bedrooms, the "awkward" roommate can then just hang out in her own room if need be.

Of course you are right. But sometimes that maturity isn't there quite yet.

My college room mate and I had a whole house, not just separate bedrooms, but it still ended up being very awkward when things didn't work out between her and my friends. JMHO

eta: by the same token I think it is generally a bad idea to date the sibling of a friend. It just has potential to end badly which I think is better avoided. Both are my personal opinion, and I realize that reasonable people will disagree on the issue.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My daughter has a new roommate in her 2nd year. They chose to live together. They share a suite with a bath and each has their own bedroom. They are both back at school. This summer her roommate asked her if she could use my daughter's car - even be added to the insurance and her mother would pay the additional premium. I said no. Now, she wants to use my daughter's printer whenever she needs it and will subsidize the printer cartridge expense. The printer is in my daughter's room. At this university, you have to be "hard" connected - no wireless printing is possible. My daughter wonders why she cannot buy her own printer, to which she replies, "my mother doesn't want me to have one and thinks it's bratty that you won't share."

Economically, I don't think there's an issue based upon what my daughter tells me. We are not wealthy and have worked hard to get her into this wonderful private college. Both girls are honor students with a partial scholarship.

My daughter is an only child, so I'm wondering if I am not being reasonable asking her to ask her roommate to get her own printer. Sure, if there is an emergency, the request is fair. It's good to have a backup for things like printing when a paper is due.

She also asked if my daughter had a vacuum cleaner. "Yes." Then she replied, "oh good, I won't have to buy one." That's fine to share I think. Then my daughter said she could use that money to go buy a printer for herself, even offering to drive her to Target to purchase it.

On a side note, last year before they were roommates, this young lady said she didn't want my daughter to date any of her male friends - they were hands off.

Apparently, her roommate from the prior year did allow her to share her printer. She won't take no for an answer and insists that she is going to use it.

So I ask, and please tell me the truth, are we being unreasonable to expect her roommate to get her own printer, or are we being selfish or "bratty?"

No you are not unreasonable. And no way would I want this chick using my printer. Bullcrap on that.

Now that being said my dd does not have a printer and never had need for one yet and she is JR in college.

 

[Kath2003]

From my college experience, it's acceptable to share items that are placed in communal areas e.g. a TV, games consoles, vacuums. Anything in an individual's bedroom belongs to that individual.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

My daughter has a new roommate in her 2nd year. They chose to live together. They share a suite with a bath and each has their own bedroom. They are both back at school. This summer her roommate asked her if she could use my daughter's car - even be added to the insurance and her mother would pay the additional premium. I said no. Now, she wants to use my daughter's printer whenever she needs it and will subsidize the printer cartridge expense. The printer is in my daughter's room. At this university, you have to be "hard" connected - no wireless printing is possible. My daughter wonders why she cannot buy her own printer, to which she replies, "my mother doesn't want me to have one and thinks it's bratty that you won't share."

Economically, I don't think there's an issue based upon what my daughter tells me. We are not wealthy and have worked hard to get her into this wonderful private college. Both girls are honor students with a partial scholarship.

My daughter is an only child, so I'm wondering if I am not being reasonable asking her to ask her roommate to get her own printer. Sure, if there is an emergency, the request is fair. It's good to have a backup for things like printing when a paper is due.

She also asked if my daughter had a vacuum cleaner. "Yes." Then she replied, "oh good, I won't have to buy one." That's fine to share I think. Then my daughter said she could use that money to go buy a printer for herself, even offering to drive her to Target to purchase it.

On a side note, last year before they were roommates, this young lady said she didn't want my daughter to date any of her male friends - they were hands off.

Apparently, her roommate from the prior year did allow her to share her printer. She won't take no for an answer and insists that she is going to use it.

So I ask, and please tell me the truth, are we being unreasonable to expect her roommate to get her own printer, or are we being selfish or "bratty?"

My kids always shared a printer with their roommates. As long as they kick in money for ink and paper I don't see what the big deal is.

What would bother me and set off flares is the car thing. I can't believe that someone would even ask that.

My oldest son had a roommate from hell--until I finally had to intervene--so I know what that's like. My advice to you is get a lock for your daughter's bedroom and tell her to use it whenever she's not there.

 

[kbeverina]

Second I would be telling my DD you picked her I don't want to here about it.

Seriously? That's kind of ridiculous.

 

[erincon23]

by the same token I think it is generally a bad idea to date the sibling of a friend. It just has potential to end badly which I think is better avoided. Both are my personal opinion, and I realize that reasonable people will disagree on the issue.

It wasn't the sibling of a friend, it was any male friends of the roommate. That's quite a different thing! DS19 was semi-interested in the sister of one of his best friends (she's a doll), but he would never ask her out because of his friendship with the guy.

Last year, he was happy to share his printer with his roommate -- but then they knew each other before (and we knew the family from Scouts), the roommate was given the printer cartridge number and brought one with him, and the roommate supplied the stereo (which I think they both thought was more important ). But they were in a traditional one-room dorm room. This year, he's going to be in a two-bedroom apartment dorm with three other guys -- I don't think he's planning to share his printer (which, BTW, I got free on freecycle, maybe the OP's daughter's roommate could try this), but he might. If it bothers your daughter -- for all the reasons stated -- then she shouldn't share. That would end up causing resentment and bad feelings (but it sounds like a lose-lose situation either way).

The car -- NO WAY. Watch Judge Judy? Biggest issues are loaning out cars and putting someone else on your insurance.

 

[KPeterso]

I feel bad for your daughter. But why did she choose her. I had a crazy roommate my freshman year in college, but she was assigned to me. I still refer to her by my not so nice nickname that I gave her (so not Dis-appropriate).

I am an only, and since I was going a long way to school, my parents wanted me well prepared. So I had a really nice full set up for my computer. Roommate thought it was hers and would demand that I stop working on my school work so she could check her email or do her own work. We had some major words. I was nice and let her use it when I was not using it, but that was not enough for her. She also used some of my other stuff. She then proceeded to tell my parents that I exhibited the "classic symptoms of being a spoiled only child of affluent parents" at parents weekend when they included her for dinner with us. She was never invited anywhere by my parents again. They were (and to some degree) stunned. She wanted me to move out and leave all my stuff since apparently my parents could afford to get it all. As I said, crazy.

I did let a couple friends over the 4 years use my car. One was my super close friend who was having some serious health and back issues. I would have taken her to the MD appointments, but her appointments often conflicted with my classes. I gave her a set of keys and we had an agreed upon schedule and a location to park it. I never had to worry. She is such a cautious driver. And it seemed like half the time I would come out to my car, and she had filled the gas tank or gotten it washed. I never ever asked her to do that. It was definitely appreciated. I think there was only 1-2 other people who ever drove the car, and it was in a serious pinch such as the time my friend and I were out, and I got sick, and just could not handle the drive back.

Your daughter just needs to stick to her guns and let the roommate know what she is willing to share and not. Her roommate needs to get her own printer though.

Kristin