roomate help

[DisneyGirl4188]

I agree with the others.

This is the craziest contract I have ever read. I would be insulted that a friend would even ask me to sign such a thing. If you want to keep her as a friend, don't use that contract or better yet, even become roommates.

 

[azgal81]

I agree with everyone else. That is the craziest contract I have ever seen in my life I have never ever seen a contract like that before. I would not sign that it seems very controlling to me.

If you need a contract like that just to share a place with someone you shouldn't be moving in together. This whole situation is a huge mistake waiting to happen.

 

[freckles and boo]

I agree that if I was presented with a contract like this I would feel pretty insulted. It is clinical (as most contracts are), but more importantly it isn't mutual. Please consider working WITH your friend to come up with terms you can both agree upon. Take one of the generic contracts that Rob (yes?) posted and a list of your concerns and sit down together. You never know, she may have concerns about your behavior that she wants to address. Even if you end up with something close to what you have already written, be sure that she feels she has contributed to the process. Otherwise you will be establishing a parent/child relationship and that isn't going to work.

 

[hydster]

Wow like the others NO WAY in HE** would I ever sign a contract like that! I'm not so sure it's your friend that has the "issues" here! For her sake I honestly hope SHE won't move in with you especially if she sees that contract!

Specifying who has to do the laundry and the dishes along with dropping off the utility bill. WTH?

Who gets to decide which of you is thing one or thing two. YOU???

Honestly you would be better off living without said roommate. The suggestion to get a pet is more than likely a much better idea.

 

[mickeyfan2]

There is no way I would want to room with a person who thinks that contract is a good idea. So if the roomate who has to do the dishes need the laundry done the other one needs to do it?

 

[CheshireVal]

I still keep coming back to the conflict resolution bit:

Conflict resolution:
In the case of a conflict, each party will talk about the matter in a calm, rational fashion. If this can’t be achieved at the time, each party will go to there bedrooms to cool down. After the calming down period, the matter will be discussed. If the situation is extreme or causing fear to either roommate one roommate will leave. If asked to leave the roommate is welcomed to come back once the situation has defused. No roommate will be denied the right to be in the apartment for more than a half hour. This will only happen in extreme circumstances.

Is that for real? I mean, really?

 

[barkley]

i see the 'contract' as pretty vague and open to personal interpretation. what you deem a 'clean environment' might not be what she does (i like all the dishes rinsed and in the dishwasher-some folks are o.k. with them being 'in the sink' pending loading). words like 'reasonable' can leave allot of room for problems-what if being reasonably quiet for her means the stereo off after midnight-but you like to play it in a manner you 'perceive' as quiet 24/7?

other issue i see i with the clause about a new roommate coming in with the one's approval-and the one leaving being responsible for the rent until another roommate is found. this should be worded to say what efforts the remaining tenant has in seeking out a roommate-will they be required to make an effort via newspaper ads or something of the sort (cuz if not they could make life miserable forcing the roommate out and then sit there alone as a single tenant making no effort to find a roommate/refusing every roommate the 'gone' roommate comes up with).

also need to check what local laws govern shared housing in your area-nothing you put in a personal contract is going to supercede any tenant rights laws in your area (and you can be subject to someone suing you ala 'judge judy' for expenses they occur if you wrongfull invoke some provision that's not allowed for in your area).

personaly, i never had a roommate when i was single-i never rented a place i did'nt feel i could'nt handle financialy on my own, and i did'nt want anyone elses potential legal/personal/financial issues impacting on my housing (cuz most rental contracts carry the provision that if one tenant in a unit causes problems/fails to pay BOTH can be held responsible/put out).

 

[disykat]

I would have been kicked out of my house when I had pnuemonia according to that contract. I interfered with my roommate's right to quiet. I also didn't do my fair share of cleaning. Fortunately, they made me soup instead.

While I think it's smart to talk about how you are going to share bills and divide household responsibilities, the basic necessity of being a roommate is "getting along". This contract leaves no room for that IMO.

 

[barkley]

oh-and splitting 'evenly' the cost of food-what if my budget/tastes are filet mignon, lobster and cristal? does that mean you HAVE to cover half the costs if you can't afford it or are a vegan/non drinker who won't even touch the stuff?

i had/have some friends who if we entered into that 'contract' would (1) never have 'had the time' to fix the meals, or
if they did -it would have consisted of them opening a can of spagettios, inserting a spork from the local fast food place, and shouting 'dinner's ready'

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, I for one wouldn't give a person that has "temper issues" a contract like that! It would just give her a reason to go off.

You said you think she'd stick to a contract. How do you think she'd perceive that contract? Maybe her "temper issues" aren't broad spectrum. I don't know. People that I've known that have a temper problem, don't take much to ignite. Maybe she's different.

It seems like a red flag to me that you think you need a contract. But you know your situation best.

 

[flying_babyb]

Basically, I read this as you having these specific problems with your bfriend already:

Don't really like or trust her family or friends
She will be disruptive/loud
She is unreasonable and won't discuss things rationally
She will not let you know if someone calls, or will not take messages properly
She is going to use without permission and/or steal your stuff
She will not pay her bills on time
{QUOTE]

alot of whats been put in here has been talked about between us before. Shes got a habit of being late at other times so I wanted to be spefic about that though I believe she will be alot better when forced to be. she sometimes makes not so great freind choices as do I. The loud thing, thats standard in most contracts. She wouldnt steal my stuff but use it without asking. She dosent dicuss things calmly till shes cooled down.

 

[flying_babyb]

Why not save more money and wait until you can afford to live on your own?

That isnt a option for me. I have till july to be out of my home due to my mother moving to support another relitive.

 

[flying_babyb]

so what do you guys think I should take out? The phone thing can probley go but I dont see much else that can.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I think you should take a list of your concerns and sit down with your friend to talk to her about them.

But I have to tell you, people pretty much are who they are and a contract is not going to change them. You might get her to agree to sign a paper agreeing to take the trash out on the 2nd and 4th weeks of the month, but if she is the type of person who only takes the trash out once a month --- it is not going to happen.

As for the contract --- it is totally unenforceable and that is what concerns me. you seem to think that having this agreement is somehow going to protect you. Signatures on paper cannot control personality.

No judge in the world is going to tell a person who is paying 1/2 the rent that they have to move out of the apartment, but still pay their 1/2 of your rent.

I don't care what your paper says about whether or not they can drink, play loud music, or have phone calls in the middle of the night. Your roommate is going to be able to look at you and say, "no, I'm not going to clean the bathroom or do your laundry" all while blowing smoke rings in your face and you are not going to be able to remove them with a stick of dynamite should they want to stay. THIS is why we must choose our roommates carefully.

The judge is going to tell you that if you can't live with it, then you are free to call your parents to bring the UHaul over and move yourself.

No Landlord or Utility Company is going to care what your contract says. They are going to go after whomever or whatever they think will get them the money. You will both be 100% liable for the full bill.

 

[CheshireVal]

It sounds to me that you are trying to control every aspect of your roommate's life. She can give a spare key only to her mom. If you're mad at her, she has to disappear to her room to "cool off." (Maybe she'd rather take a drive around the block to clear her head?) She's not allowed to get tipsy in her own apartment if she wants to celebrate something.

You're not her mom. As roommates, you're equals if you're both paying the same amount of rent. You can't tell her what she can and can't do.

So what should you take out? Um..... EVERYTHING.

Sit down and talk to her and come up with some apartment "rules" that you BOTH think are fair.

Because if you proclaim yourself queen of the apartment and hand her a list of arbitrary rules that you've made up without her input, then that's just going to create bad blood from the getgo.

I would NEVER agree to be roommates with someone who handed me your contract. In fact, I think I'd rather live with your roommate who has "temper issues" rather than someone so controlling!

 

[RitaZ.]

OP, I think you're missing the point that most are trying to make. It's not about changing a line in "the contract", which many have already stated how useless it would be if you ever tried to enforce it.

Since you stated that you and your friend are so different, I can tell you there is no contract that will ensure that your living arrangements will work the way that you want. You're trying to change your friend into who you want her to be by forcing her to adhere to this "contract". You can plan to control the situation as much as you want by putting it all in writing, but it won't work. The more we try to control situations/people, the less in control we are.

Find someone that you're compatible with and go from there. Good luck!

 

[Chicago526]

so what do you guys think I should take out? The phone thing can probley go but I dont see much else that can.

I think you should just stick to the financials. Who is responsible for paying what and how much. Leave the household chores and other personal stuff out of it.

 

[flying_babyb]

i had/have some friends who if we entered into that 'contract' would (1) never have 'had the timor
if they did -it would have consisted of them opening a can of spagettios, inserting a spork from the local fast food place, and shouting 'dinner's ready'

see thats whats nice, we both think like this.

 

[PrincessTiff]

Dating him? SOrry im moving in with my BEST FEMALE FREIND

Are you old enough?

 

[flying_babyb]

THIS is why we must choose our roommates carefully.

The judge is going to tell you that if you can't live with it, then you are free to call your parents to bring the UHaul over and move yourself.

No Landlord or Utility Company is going to care what your contract says. They are going to go after whomever or whatever they think will get them the money. You will both be 100% liable for the full bill.

she dosent do the laundry (which she LOVES to do) then I dont do the dishes, she'll get the him. the ultiilty companay wont care but the judge will