Room Moms and school parties.......

[Benducci]

Personally I think you spent too much. I don't know where you live but I live in the NY tri-state area where things can be expensive. Our parties are about $40 - things are bought at the dollar store for the kids - everything matches. I think you are (if I may say so & not offend you) overdoing just a tad- it is nice what you are doing for the kids but you may be making some parents feel bad who can't be in the school or can't afford to do what you do.

What do you do for the kids' birthdays? Our class moms do nothing for the kids birthdays - that is each child's responsiblity to bring something in if they choose. We have Jehovah' Witness children who do not celebrate birthdays so if it was celebrated in school, it might cause problems.

We have some good class moms & some that are not as good. The kids enjoy the special time when the class moms are in the class for a holiday. The parents are asked for $10 at the beginning of the school year to cover parties (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's, end of school year).

 

[flying_babyb]

Birthdays should be simple. A nice cheap crown, A single balloon (JUST for the birtday student,think dollar tree)
Crown: 1.00
Ballon: 1.oo
This comes to a cheap birthday of 2 bucks and the child feels like a king. SO 2 dollars time 40 students (shooting high) is only $80 bucks for the whole year. Not a big expense.

 

[FormrCastMbr]

healty snack? MUFFINS!! Mix is 99cents at walmart. Each makes 16

Thanks. That is one thing we are doing but have to have other things for the kids that do not like muffins. I am just going to get some fruit to cut up and vegetables...I am not going as nuts as I did for Halloween....it shouldn't be as bad as I made it sound.

 

[Starr W.]

I love being a room mom. I am very creative, I spend hours planning and preparing for the parties. I pay close attention to every detail. I make Holidays, Birthdays, vacation, etc. very special for my kids. At school, there may be a student that doesn't have the big Birthday's etc. so I try to make sure my school parties are memorable. Nice party favors and all. It is all for the kids.

I am room mom for my DS9 and DD5. When it comes time for parties, I usually send a cute letter home asking for either a monetary donation or help volunteering or bringing in items. I get usually more money then parents wanting to help or go out and buy something (nothing wrong with that). I also always mention if you have cute ideas or a fun craft in mind to give me a call. No one ever calls. Then I call the co-room parents and usually they do not mention any ideas so I take charge. I guess I am worried what parents are thinking. I do it for the kids not the title. I just do not want people to think I want to do it all.

I guess I am extra sensitive because last year a mom freaked on me.......It was Valentine's Day and my teacher did NOT want a party. A few days before she called me and said we could have punch and cupcakes and could I???? Of course. (i love cupcakes) A co-room mom called and went nuts saying she wanted to BAKE CUPCAKES! SCREAMING!!!! at me over a darn cupcake. The next day she wrote me a letter of apology but, I always think twice about everything now.

You should see what I am carrying to school tomorrow I have 3 of the huge WDW shopping bags filled with all of the crafts, activites, etc. I spent probably $250+ for both kids classes. Parents sent in around $100 for the items. I just think matching plates, napkins, etc. are important....... Even if they cost more.

How does it work in your schools?? If you are a room mom, how do you do things or how does your room mom handle parties etc.?

My 4th grader has a new teacher to the district(she moved back home). She's only been teaching 4yrs or so. Ran into one mother, who was decided the teacher was not concerned enough about parties(red flag for me)! She appointed herself room mother(we don't really have them, every party has it's own leader) and I was given the command to help. Told her I was busy with other stuff at the school. This is the first year I won't be helping with the Xmas party, I didn't like her attitude. So I decided to help out where the students and staff need it, in the library,computer lab and am on the baking committee. I like to help, but the party thing, is getting to much for me. I'll be involved with this school for a long time as my "baby" will start Kindergarten in the fall. I have seen mom's in tears, because half the class wasn't in school the last day before break and they spent all this time making little treat bags with the kids' names on.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think it's nice to do a great party and I too like to do all I can. The only thing is that you have to look at what you are doing and decide if it is for you or the kids. Matching plates and napkins are nice, but if it costs a fortune it's not that important. When my oldest ds started pre-school they would have parties for various events. There were only 7 kids in his class and the teacher would put a sign up with a list of 7 things for parents to bring in (1 each). The items were simple -ie. sprinkles, whip cream, juice etc. I cannot tell you how many times parents would not bring anything in! I am sorry if this offends anyone and I know people are in different financial boats, but when you can afford to smoke a pack a day and you can't even pick up a $1.00 bottle of juice I have a problem. Then they would complain about the school! I completely realize that every parent can do different things, some can give time, money, bake etc. Each is important but when you do nothing because you can't be bothered and then you complain that annoys me. I would get upset because these lazy parents (yes, lazy) would do nothing for the kids so I would bake a ton of stuff (enough for 2 classrooms to share) and send in all the stuff needed. No I am not rich, but why should the kids not have a party because of a few parents? The poor teacher used to bring stuff in. How fair is that? The last day of school nobody sent anything except for one parent who sent whipped cream. I knew this would happen as I saw that nobody signed up for the list so I went and bought all the fixings for sundaes. The teacher was so greatful. She had gone out to get some things, and I finally told her that I thought that some of these parents had alot of nerve to expect parties to magically happen without them contributing at all. She agreed and I know it meant alot to her that I understood her dilema. I do for my kids because I love them and want them to enjoy themselves. I love when the kids have a fun time at a party. It can be simple fun- but as long as they enjoy themselves I have done my job. I don't need any credit. I see Moms who do- I am just not one of them. If everyone would just pitch in what they can then the party would be great! It also doesn't have to be expensive. I am sorry to hijack your post and rant away. Now back to our regulary scheduled thread!

 

[krismom]

I am "class mother" in my sons kindergarten class this year. Being a SAHM who was once a teacher- I take the job very seriously! I am always very diligent to be sure that EVERY parent is invited to at least one event in the classroom, and all are asked to participate by way of contributing an item (never $). That being said- I probably spent $80.00 on paper goods and craft items (we are doing a Polar Express party). Most of the moms are good about sending in stuff- but for the Halloween party I had to run to the store for juice in the middle of the party!
We aren't permitted to do a "group collection / gift" due to some mismanagment of funds in the district years ago. One bad apple, you know! And it's a shame because I'm sure the teacher would love a VIsa gift card rather than 20 candles!
Happy Holidays All!

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

Well, for an appetizer we are starting with..........

Then our main course will be......
Are you kidding me?


That is for 2 CLASSES! DD5 and DS9

I am a room mom for my DS at a private school. At the beginning of the year, we ask each parent to donate $25. With that money, we buy teacher Christmas gifts, and a good chuck goes to the school to help pay for presents for the janitor, lunch lady, etc. For a Christmas party today, my son is having birthday cake for baby Jesus's birthday (catholic school) and Santa is popping by. That is it. Otherwise, a regular school day. And I think that is great! Kids can be materialistic enough to begin with, they don't need a lot of stuff. And given the chance, they can have more fun without it. I prefer he learn the true meaning of the holiday. Not all the parents at school can afford a lot, and if the school party is way out of whack with the home Christmas, it makes things hard. Simple is best.

 

[almburr]

our school does not have room moms, So i dont know what that entails. Here at the start of school teachers send home a note with a list of parties you mark you 1st and 2nd. I always go for Halloween. In my DS6 K class there are only 9 kids, thats in the whole class for the whole district. 2 moms are on each party one will do the table decorations, paper goods and favors and the other will do the treat. That will be the only party they will work with. Even with a small class there are parents that couldnt give a crap ! So the other mom has to do it all .

 

[jemiaule]

healty snack? MUFFINS!! Mix is 99cents at walmart. Each makes 16

You are joking right? A boxed muffin mix is far from healthy. It is pretty much a cupcake too. Not to mention the preservatives and other junk they put in boxed mixes.

 

[jemiaule]

I am a class mother along with 2 other women - I have basically taken the lead. We sent a letter out for the teacher's holiday gifts and asked the parents to contribute $12...there was also a notation there is no obligations to donate and the gifts will be from all the kids. I do not keep track of who did not pay nor do I tell anyone...even the other class moms.

It would be nice if the room mom this year would have done this. She sent out an email saying she would make sure that ONLY the families who contributed would have their childs name on the card.

We specifically did not contribute for the group gift for this reason, as did a few other families. We did not like the idea of a family who could not afford it to be so excluded like this. We brought in a gift for teacher and a card my son made. In the end he was much happier doing this than a group gift he had no part of.

 

[mum4jenn]

I agree that parties have gotten out of hand. I don't know when this happened but sometime between when I was in school (70's) and now!!HA HA. I was asked to chair the Christmas Party for my dd's Drama Club. I thought OK no problem. Some chips...some cookies...and some drinks.OMG!!!! I had NO idea what was expected for a party these days. I ended up having THREE crafts, cookie decorating,word games, outside games,FINGER FOODS,chips,drinks,candy,etc. When I first started the planning I thought I was doing a great job and once I told a few people what the plans were they said"That's ALL?" I totally started to freak out!!!! I had a list of parents who had signed up to help and I placed calls to them and left messages (that were not returned) trying to get help. Finally I sent out a list with items assigned for them to bring and then I still was given the impression it was not enough!!!! Luckily another parent gave me lots of help with getting other parents to bring stuff and we ended up with lots of food and activities. There were over 150 members and about half had permission to stay but I still had to prepare for all members since we did not know until the very last minute how many would bring their permission slip back.

I had such a difficult time with this because since I am the cafeteria manager as well at the school, I neglected my real work in order to work on the party. I STILL have not caught up!! I will have work to do while on Christmas break because I am so far behind! I will NEVER help chair a committee like this again.I do NOT mind helping and sending things or making things but this was just something that has gone so overboard. The kids did not care one bit if the plates or napkins matched (they did not). I ended up spending probably close to $200 of my own money for supplies and all and even though that was for that many kids, I do not make a large salary(actually a very pitiful salary) and that money put a huge hurting on my budget. If I had known that all of that had been expected I NEVER would have agreed to chair the party.

I long for the simple parties!!! I can always hold out hope.

And the really sad thing is that more will be expected next year from whomever is tagged with this job!! BIGGER>>>BETTER>>>More more more

 

[freckles and boo]

My daughters brought home more candy from school on Halloween than they received trick-or-treating. I think it is all a bit much, to tell you the truth. I am signed up for my 1st grader's Christmas party on Friday. The other Mom and I are bringing cupcakes. The PTA provides all the juice for all the classes. There will be two or three games, a couple holiday stories, some freeze-dancing to Christmas songs, and holiday bingo - no goody bags or gifts (except for the teacher and those are personal). The children in this class are not deprived in any way. We did crafts last year and it brought the party to a screeching halt as four grown women ran from table to table with glue bottles, popsicle sticks, and wet wipes. I agree with the person who said it is all about a break in the routine and having fun.

 

[FormrCastMbr]

It would be nice if the room mom this year would have done this. She sent out an email saying she would make sure that ONLY the families who contributed would have their childs name on the card.

We specifically did not contribute for the group gift for this reason, as did a few other families. We did not like the idea of a family who could not afford it to be so excluded like this. We brought in a gift for teacher and a card my son made. In the end he was much happier doing this than a group gift he had no part of.

OMG - what a horrible thing to do to a child...I would have done exactly what you did and I would have let the class mom have it.

 

[Starr W.]

Geez, I thought I was the only one with uber school moms. Guess I am not.

I was an executive(ran a manufactuing company) when eldest was small. I was really the only working mom in our neighborhood. I also like baking & cooking. For the neighborhood cookie exchange I made a batch of some sort of Xmas cookies. It was the only homemade batch there! If looks could have killed I would have been dead that day. Geez she works and can make cookies! The only reason I brought this up, I am now a SAHM, I am on the baking committe at school and we did a cookie exchange for the teachers. One of the neighbors had to make a crack about it again(original episode took place EIGHT YEARS AGO!!!).

I figure if you'rer going to eat cookies, they better be worth it.

 

[tjmw2727]

It would be nice if the room mom this year would have done this. She sent out an email saying she would make sure that ONLY the families who contributed would have their childs name on the card.

We specifically did not contribute for the group gift for this reason, as did a few other families. We did not like the idea of a family who could not afford it to be so excluded like this. We brought in a gift for teacher and a card my son made. In the end he was much happier doing this than a group gift he had no part of.

Yep this is harsh isn't it. This same thing happened when my oldest was in 2nd grade and then the next year things really got out of control. At that time I was one of the room moms for my youngest dd's class and privy to alot of what went on. I along with about 1/2 the class did not put in on this "group" gift and instead chose small tokens of our appreciation - many of which were hand made or picked out by the children themselves. The first issue was when the famlies who did send $ found out about the exclusion of others. The were upset, granted many of them didn't read the entire letter sent home and didn't realize only those who gave the "suggested" amount would be included in the card. I imagine it was weird for the teacher to receive a group gift from less than 1/2 the class and individual gifts from the rest!!

FF to the following year when it became a contest to see which class could be the most generous - outrageous to the point where the principal had to cap the monetary donations! It was embarassing to the teachers as the parents had made it into a popularity contest.

In the school we are now it a nice simple party with a cupcake and juice and a craft or maybe a holiday movie.

TJ

 

[DVCLiz]

Also at our school we are asked to voluntarily donate $20 per family at the beginning of the school year for teacher gifts. The money is gathered and divided among all teachers at Christmas. There is no mention of any student names - we are not allowed to list individual students on the card. We are also asked not to give teachers individual gifts, unless it is something a child wants to make.

We were getting some outrageous gifts to teachers - it was a popularity contest plus a "let's see if a nice gift raises that math grade any" mentality at work. The school had to step in and make some changes.

Parents who insist on listing the individual children who gave the gift are the kind I avoid like the plague. That's moving gift-giving into a whole other realm, as far as I'm concerned, and I don't want my child being a part of that kind of gifting.

 

[Mrs.Reese]

I teach Kindergarten at a public school in FL. Here is our school's policy on parties and teacher gifts.

1) Parties are a privelege. Your child is not required to attend. Children must earn the privelege of attending parties.

2) All food items must be in wrapped and in sealed containers. No homemade goods are allowed.

3) Parties are not to be exceed 2 hours in length.

4) Group gifts of any kind are not allowed.

5) The teacher has final determination in all party arrangements.

6) The only acceptable parties are for Halloween, Holiday break, Thanksgiving and the end of the school year. All parties must be conducted on the last possible day before said holiday.

Our principal explained to us that the reasons for all of these rules is first for safety. Secondly, the teacher has ultimate discretion. There are guidelines for parents. She has said that she has seen too many abuses of parties to the point where they become materialistic contests. Teachers become angry for not knowing what is going on. Children feel left out for not being able to contribute to the group gift. Just some food for thought.

 

[mom*to*2*princesses]

Wow, some of these stories make me very glad about the way our school handles parties. Today my kindergartener had her Christmas party. All the parents were invited and told that the student could bring in treats if he/she would like. At the party each child was given a plain paper plate and napkin (no offense intended, but I don't think kids give a rat's behind about matchy-matchy, that's purely a parent "need"). Then each child that had brought something in was allowed to hand their treat out to his/her classmates. There were no games. The teacher read a Christmas book. The kids were very excited to simply do something different and have treats.

I really don't get why parties have to be a big deal. Frankly, I'm annoyed at the amount of sweets and other things my kids bring home from these. They don't need umpteen pencils, stickers, tattoos, candy bars, or anything else. And parents trying to "one-up" each other with what they send in--ridiculous. Just my two cents.

 

[almburr]

OT we may not have our school christmas party tomorrow, we got over a foot of snow last night so there was no school today, too much ice under the snow. we will se what happens in the morning. I guess they will have a new years party instead.

 

[jemiaule]

... All parties must be conducted on the last possible day before said holiday.

Oh man, I really wish we had this rule. My kids are in two different grades and their parties this year have fallen on different days. This results with one child being sad because their sibling had a party, came home with goodies and they did not.

Explaining to a 4 or 6 year old that their party is going to be in a day or two does little good; they "get it" but it does not make it easier. Then two days later we get to repeat the whole dang thing because now the first kids is sad because their sibling came home with goodies and they do not have any.

What we finally did this last party was tell the boys on party days you can bring home your goodies and you have a choice. 1) You can share the goodies with your sibiling or 2) we can put your goodies away until your siblings party day and then you can have them then. They decided they would like to share - thank goodness we finally had some peace on the two party days.