Road Side Memorials and Shrines. Possible debate

[DawnCt1]

We have all seen them. Those sad reminders of fatal tragedies, usually the result of a motor vehicle accident, memorialized by the road side. A young boy (9) died in an adjacent town last May. It was the result of a collision at a busy intersection where roads to malls, grocery stores and strip malls intersect. At the time a road side memorial with stuffed animals, baseball equipment, flowers, etc. was erected around the street sign. Now it is September and plastic flowers and other items still decorate the street sign. I can understand the grief and sadness but how long should a shrine be allowed to remain after the sad event. Personally I think it is time for the public service department to take it down. This is only representative of many shrines and road side memorials I have seen. Any opinions?

 

[grinningghost]

I think there should be a limit to how long these shrines are allowed to remain. There's one near us that actually displays the hood of the car that was involved in the fatal accident. I know it must somehow comfort the family of the victim, but it looks really awful.

 

[pjlla]

There was a looooong thread here not too long about this subject. Apparently a family was erecting a "roadside memorial" on someones personal property. The property owner kept removing it and the family kept putting it back.... guess it could get ugly!......................P

 

[Parrothead1964]

I've seen them too, and it breaks my heart to know that someone lost their life. Sometimes, though, I've seen these crosses and flowers at a particular intersection or curve on a regular basis, and it reminds me that this must be a dangerous place, which also reminds me to slow down and be even more careful than I normally would.

So in that case, I could argue that they are helpful.

 

[Disney01]

I'm sorry, I don't like them. I also feel they could be a hazard-I almost rear ended someone once because I was looking at one, got distracted, and almost got in an accident myself.

We had a high school girl who got killed when she crashed into a tree...There's still flowers, it's decorated every holiday, birthday, etc.

I also have a problem with these-I told my husband "If I ever die by crashing into a tree, please do not go decorate the tree." I would rather he remember me by visiting a favorite place of mine, not the place where I died. I just think there are other ways to pay tribute to someone without decorating the place where they died.

 

[DawnCt1]

Originally posted by pjlla
There was a looooong thread here not too long about this subject. Apparently a family was erecting a "roadside memorial" on someones personal property. The property owner kept removing it and the family kept putting it back.... guess it could get ugly!......................P

If it were my property, I would allow it for about a week. After the funeral,etc, the shrine would come down. If the family kept erecting it and didn't respond to gentle persuasion, a court injunction would be in order. I probably missed the last thread because it was looooong.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I don't really like them. I agree, a lot of times, people slow down suddenly or pay more attention to the shrine than the road and it gets dangerous.

If I ever die in a crash, I'd rather my family and friends not erect a shrine on the spot that I died.

 

[KristaTX]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
If I ever die in a crash, I'd rather my family and friends not erect a shrine on the spot that I died.

Me neither. I've told them so, too.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by KristaTX
Me neither. I've told them so, too.

I have too. I'd much rather people remember me by either making a donation to a charity or animal shelter, or if they want to congregate somewhere, to go to a place I like, like take the family on a trip to WDW and remember how much I love it.

 

[MinnieYC]

It seems like some of these shrines can cause greater accidents than the ones that resulted in the shrines in the first place. Rather than building a shrine at the site, a place significant for the victim is probably more appropriate (e.g. a school, community center, etc.).

 

[Aimeedyan]

I think the big gaudy ones are a bit too much, but a small cross or wreath of flowers doesn't bother me. Actually, when I see one, I usually am forced to remember just how precious life is and that i need to slow down and be a less aggressive driver =) But I don't know if it serves the same purpose for others or not.

I think regulations over them are fine, since its usually city property that it's placed on and could possibly go overboard.

I do not want to be remembered that way personally, but if it helps some families grieve and honor their loved one, then I respect that. We all handle things differently.

 

[DawnCt1]

I think shrines and memorials belong in the cemetery.

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree, they are a distraction. I wouldn't have a problem with a plain white cross...but around here they are decorated for every holiday with bows, stuffed animals, balloons, flowers, notes, candles...you name it. There should be a limit on how long (I say a month).

I hate to say it, but I don't think I would allow it on my property. I think it is morbid.

 

[Patch'sD]

They never bothered me. I just think about what could have happened there. I know of two long term memorials that where the deaths were caused by young inexperenced drivers who were driving recklessly. Everytime I pass them it reminds me about reckless driving and I talk to my to young driving sons about it. If it were on my property I think I would come to some sort of agreement with the mourner on something that would be to both of our benefit.

 

[minniecarousel]

The one down the street from me has gotten smaller (A mother and her 2 children on bikes/scooters were hit by a nanny - she fled the scene - both children died). The one year anniversary is coming up and I'm thinking that it might eventually go away. It doesn't bother me - there's a protected paper explaining what happened on a utility box and a few small things right near it. A memorial to a young man at the other end of the street had to be taken down because they're widening the street.

I guess I don't mind them - as long as they're not on someone's private property and they're not too big.

 

[CindysGusGus]

Originally posted by pjlla
There was a looooong thread here not too long about this subject. Apparently a family was erecting a "roadside memorial" on someones personal property. The property owner kept removing it and the family kept putting it back.... guess it could get ugly!......................P

I was the one who started that thread. The woman was an athiest who kept throwing the cross into the street. She wanted no part of it on her property.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by CindysGusGus
I was the one who started that thread. The woman was an athiest who kept throwing the cross into the street. She wanted no part of it on her property.

That's cruel. If someone built a shrine on my property, I'd respectfully ask them to remove it. I would not throw their cross onto the street.

 

[dcg0317]

I just don't get it, why would you want to be remined of the place of your loved one died. I don't remember seeing any shrines or crosses growing up as a child, just seems like in the last 10 years they are everywhere. I myself don't like them, but to each is own. Lets look at it this way, on avg. between 47,000 and 50, 000 people are killed on highways and roads each year and suppose everyone wanted to put up a cross!!

 

[ilovepcot]

There's a good possibility that I could someday face having a memorial placed on or in front of my property. There have been 7 wrecks in front of my home that have resulted in property damage and some serious injuries.....most resulting from drunk drivers. If a death happened here and family members of the deceased chose to place a memorial on my property, I wouldn't dream of asking them to remove it, no matter how "carnival like" it may be. My heart just wouldn't allow it.

 

[DawnCt1]

Originally posted by CindysGusGus
I was the one who started that thread. The woman was an athiest who kept throwing the cross into the street. She wanted no part of it on her property.

I am a Christian and I would not a want a memorial in my yard, cross or not. If the mourner was a Christian, she would know that her loved one is no longer there. Because one is sad and mourning does not allow them to encrouch on someone elses property. While I may not throw the cross in the street, how many times was the other woman asked to move the memorial?