Rizels Diary of Ups and Downs

I am just getting caught up on your journal. Hang in there! :grouphug: Remember you are young and you have a whole life ahead of you. This may seem like a big deal right now, but in a couple years you will laugh about it.

Sounds like you are getting back on track with your eating. Keep that up and start throwing in some more exercise. That really helps improve your mood.

Stick with it, you can do it! :cheer2:
 
Hang in there Rizel :grouphug:

You know what needs to be done.....you can do this! I know you can.

Things will get better
 
Hey, Rizel! How are you, chickie? I have been thinking of you and your b/f dilemma and I am glad to hear your b/f cares so much about you that he is working hard to make you happy.

Just remember that someone can look perfect from afar, but you really don't know what they are like out of the spotlight. There was a "perfect couple" in my senior year of high school that included an ex-boyfriend of mine. Everyone thought they had it all and the girls were all jealous of how he doted on her and spoiled her rotten. What they didn't know is that he demeaned her in private, demanding certain behavior from her, dictated how she dressed and was constantly at her side appearing attentive because he didn't trust her. Worst of all, her brother told me that Dwight had been hitting the girl, too. I felt so bad for her because everyone thought she had the perfect boyfriend.

I hope you can get back on track with your food. It is great that you are being so diligent about journaling and counting calories. Keep up the great work!

Sending :hug: and :wizard: for your midterm -- I hope you get some quality study time in. Don't work too hard! :goodvibes:
 
Thank you all so much for the support. *hugs everyone*
Keener: I know what you mean about bad b/f's, and i have to say that yesterday i truly realized just how great my diamond in the rough was. :goodvibes *snugs* thankies!!

Day 3 Recap

Wednesday, i'd have to say was one of the worst days in my life sickeness wise. I had no school so i didn't wake up until my b/f came over at around 2ish. That was when i realized that everytime i lifted my head and sat up the entire room would spin. It was like some horrible blair witch camera thing. I'd just sit or lie there till the room stopped but then i'd get incredibly naseous. At first the b/f i think thought i was kididng around or something, cause he kept trying to get me out of bed to go out. But afterawhile he caught on that i really wasn't feeling well. So i was in bed pratically all day. He got me juice and then ran out a couple times to get me things. Like a bag of cookies for me to eat after i was better :rotfl: pshh like i would wait. I had 2 cookies xD. And then he gave me my medicine, got me my lovely trashcan i would stare at basically everytime i got up, and ran out for soup, and then a sandwhich. :love: Lotsa love for this boy that would stay by my side and rub my back while i basically was coughing and gagging into a trash can. I slept a bit and he would just sit there and hold my hand or tuck me in. Of course the tv was on, so he was semi preoccupied. I'm feeling a lot better, i'm still a little bothered, but i think i just need to get through it and everything will be allright.

Bad news, i called in sick for work again, and i think they are getting peeved at me. But it's not my fault that i've been getting sick more often. Take it as they want but i'm not lying about it and if they get mad at me, i'll just take my hard work elsewhere. I highly considered going in last night, but seeing as i couldn't walk/stand up straight, i doubted i'd be of much use.

Eating wise, i literally had, 2 cookies and a bite of soup and half a sandwhich all day. oO but i never want to feel like that again.

Day 4

Today is better, i'm sleepy and tired still but i'm no longer dizzy. So yeah!!!!
I'm most likely going to do this day by ear, i'll eat when i'm hungry and i've been really craving light foods, like ham sandwhiches with lotsa veggies. Or salads and soups. I think my body is telling me it's tired of the junk i've been feeding it.

Schedule:
8-10am school
5-1am Work

Midterm is on Monday the 24th, so this weekend will be a nice week of studying my bum off. Expecting late nights and early mornings! 40% of my mark :guilty: WHY TEACHER WHY!??????

Menu:

Breakfast:
Minute maid juice box Grape Punch (70cals)

Lunch:
Stouffeurs crustini turkey bacon club (330cals)
Cheesestring (60cals)

Dinner:
Tim hortons turkey bacon sandwhich (440cals)
Juice box fruit punch (70cals)

Total: TBA

10:02am
Just finished class, and i'm sleepy. I stupidly punched in the wrong parking stall and basically paid for the wrong stall. So i had a choice of either, paying again, or moving my veichle to the stall i paid for. However lazyness overcame me and i used my visa to pay for parking. I think i'll start using the visa for parking from now on. It's faster and much more convienant than using quarters and dimes which sometimes the machine eats. I called a friend today and am semi bothered now cause she proceeded to poke and made me talk to the above amentioned pedophile. Well i feel okay about it so i think i'm allright. Must keep in mind what a great b/f. I think it would really help if the guy just came clean and told me.Cutting ties isn't that great, since b/f wants him to be best man when we get married. I gave him the option of using my little brother but he's not that keen on that idea. Then again, i doubt he'll be keen on many of the wedding plans. (Not getting married anytime soon xD we just talk about it)

Oh i forgot to mention, while i was sick, i kinda took advantage of my b/fs lovely giving demonar and he promised to take me to disneyworld every 2.5-5 years. xD Just so you know, he was the one that brought it up, i hate medicine so he was like "if you take your medicine i promise to take you disneyworld at least once" and i said "and then every 5 years after that" and he said "okay, and every 5 years after that" So :cool1: yayers!

I got paid today, not a ton of moola, but enough to give my grandparents/aunt a farewell dinner. They leave this saturday at 12pm. And hopefully enough to go shopping for some frozen entree's or if not ingriedients for some home cooking. I want to eat steak! i think i'll buy a cut of beef and throw it in the george forman grill my dad bought recently.
 

Sorry to hear you were so sick! But glad to hear you are feeling much better.

Your food choices so far look pretty good, keep it up!
 
Hey Rizel-

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear you were so sick. I'm glad you didn't go into work. I hope they would have sent you home anyway, as sick as you were.

It was sweet for your BF to nurse you through your illness. People show affection in different ways. He must really like you!! :)
 
Day 5

Worked from 11:15-6. Took grandparents out to eat, stayed within calorie intake for about 2 hours, and then ate everything i felt like. Had peking duck, and sharkfin soup for dinner.

Will update more once i get in the mood to update about this day lol but of course the truth if i've actually forgotten. xD

Weekend:

Day 6,

Schedule:
OFF DAY FOR STUDYING

Today consisted of, all you can eat sushi, butter pecan popcorn, ribena by the buckets and chips for dinner. Just got b/f to head over so he's probably going to be taking me out to eat.

My grandparents and everyone left today. First off i want to thank EVERYONE for reading my journal and being so supportive. Next week will be a better week. I've not been in a mood to update lataly and thing are just topsy turvey. After monday, the stress of exams and everything will hopefully disipate.

Oh yeah, remember how i said i had that vision of the guy coming in with his g/f. GUESS WHAT! he did! and he did it exaclty like how i pictured it. I had imagined that they would go to an 18a show. And they did. I'm slowly getting over it, i really am. He left the theatre shortly to buy something for her, and in my mind i was thinking how my b/f would react in that situation. Wait lemme just tell you "Go get it yourself" i would of been the one in line paying.

so anyways about 45 minutes ago, i broke down on the phone with a friend, and she suggested that i really do something to make myself happy. And to give him 2 weeks. So i talked it over with the b/f and got him all emotional and all that fun stuff. And he decided that if by the end of two weeks i wasn't happy, he wanted us to break up. I think i'm kinda afraid of being single again. Then again if worse comes to worse i think we should.

Oh the drama! lol i remember one of my ex b/fs used to say i was a drama queen. I should of gone into acting instead lol.
 
Sorry to hear about the problems you've had the last couple of weeks and how awful sick you were - yuk!!! Glad to see you are feeling better on that part of it. You have a super awesome boyfriend. Good for you for figuring out that he is great.

Hang in there - this will pass eventually and you will be able to get back on target.

Keep on :banana: :banana:
Chris
 
This week is going to be great, or what's left of it anyways. B/f has been very good lately, and is trying really hard to spend lots of time with me and make me happy. Things are definatly picking up, school is picking up, i have more dinner plans/ birthday parties/ plans to hang out now. My days are getting pretty packed. As well as work is relying on me 5-6 days a week now. Hours aren't too shabby either around 28-35 hours a week.

Weight wise for the past couple days, Really good seeing as i ate so much food and only gained 2 pounds back. I had pizza and everthing i was craving. So i'm good, i want some good ole healthy stuff now.

So much has gone on in the past few days, i went out w/ b/f for our 2 year and 5 month anniversary dinner plan thing. At first i think b/f was a little edgy (oh what am i saying, REALLY EDGY, he was fidgeting all day) and the whole day was a little stressful. We watched dreamer, and omg it was so much fun, we laughed/talked and cuddled through the whole movie (we had the movie theatre to ourselves, so dont' worry we weren't being obnoxious)

Other interesting things, during dinner at ABC country restaurant the fire alarm went off. Now it's normal to panic, at work it's happened a couple times before, so i'm used to it. I scanned the area and nothing looked like it was on fire or anything so i relaxed and contined to eat my meal. The waitress came by later and told us that they including the supervisor had never been trained in fire safety. That kinda scares me. :guilty: If it had been a real fire, would they have known how to properly evacuate etc? As well as i think they turned of the alarm by shutting off the breaker, i'm not sure but is that how it's supposed to be done?

Midterm wise, did okay, i didn't not know too many things and the written went well except for this one question where i thought wouldnt' be on the test and i didnt' write down the formula. So i was banging my head on the desk for that one.

This week i have plans to eat out on Thursday (friend), Tuesday (co-workers) and thats all. I'm going to go shopping i believe soon, i need to pick up more things. I enjoy cooking, today i made penne with shallots and garlic pasta sauce w/ diced up veggie patty. I'd reall like to try the penne with some ground beef. I'm also super craving some green peas with butter.

Today my goal is simple, to stay within 1500calories. Been a couple days so i'm sure i've somewhat stretched out my stomach.

Schedule:
Work 6-10:45

Menu:

Breakfast:
2/3 cups strawberry honey bunches of oats
1/2 cup skim milk

Lunch:
2 slices toasted white bread
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp peanut butter

Snack:
1 cheese string
1 juice box

Dinner:
2/3 cup penne
1 veggie burger
2 shallots

Total: TBA
 
Great to see you are back on track! Your food choices look great today.

Keep it up, you can do it! :cool1:
 
Nice job on getting back on track. I know it must be hard. You have been doing such a great job. Keep it up
 
Your plan for the day looked great. Hope it ended up being good for you. And glad to hear things are still going well with the b/f. And YIKES about the fire alarm at the restaurant.

Keep on :banana: :banana:
Chris
 
The past couple days have still been both emotionally and eating ups and downs. I've done horrible but i have found a new love. Hummus + Tortillas and i plan to add those into my diet a lot more. I think i've got to start shaping up and do more exercise. November is a new month and a whole 30 or 31 days of exercise and potential eating healthy.

Menu wise i'm going to give myself this week to get into the swing of things, i expect to hit at around 1800 cals everyday this week and i'll slowly lower it to around 1250cals from there on. I plan on cutting out the following, chocolates, candy, chips, potatos (cept boiled or baked), fast foods, soda pop. Well not all at once, slowly but surely.

The Master Plan!!!

Eating out Rules:
No Drink! One Entree, Shared appetizer OR dessert not both.
I go out, i order a drink, appetzier, entree, dessert and end up eating almost all of it by myself. It's a waste of money and i feel too bloated.

At Work Eating Rules:
Only eat what is brought from home, If i so happened to forget to bring something, Subway! or if it's a short shift, gallons of water till i can get home. Put energy bars in work bag.

Shopping Rules:
I have a bad habit of buying a whole bunch of food, and trying it all at once cause i can't wait to try it. I'll eat it right after i buy it in the car or once i get home. From now on, unless i specifially went out to buy that one food for the day, all food must wait in the house for a 24 hour period before i can eat it.

Snacking Rules:
No consecutive snacking! I have a bad habit of taking a bite out of one thing, then going on to the next thing and then in the end i end up eating like 7 different things. Choose one snack and finish it!

Exercise Rules:
Must do it! At least a 15 minute consecutive walk per day, and at least 100 hula hoops. If possible some free weights.

Those are all i can think of at the moment. Tomorrow b/f and i have decided to bond over a picnic breakfast kinda thing. We've been through a lot in the past couple days and essentially, he's determined to make me happy and i'm determined to not keep things from him. Lotsa drama over a certain b-day party of a friends, but we will not get into that here!!
I'm going to make cheese omelettes and ham for him/spam for me sandwiches. I've decided to make mine with whites only, and i'm going to put lotsa bellpeppers etc into both of ours. He'll have apple juice and i'll have a bottle of water. Yum!
Lunch however will be out with co-workers, if we eat in the foodcourt i'm going to get greek food. Mmm thinking about hummus is making me drool.

Menu:

Breakfast:
Cheese omelette w/ bell peppers Whites Only
2 slices of toasted bread
Smidge of mayo
1 slice pork luncheon meat (spam)

Lunch:
Calarmari w/ caesar salad
Some arbys curly fries
a couple bites of sukiyaki beef

Dinner:
Stouffers turkey dinner (300cals)
a couple mini chocolate bars

Blah today was a semi bust. But tomorrow is a new day and i'm going to limit myself to tops 3 fun sized bars a day!
 
Hi there!!!!

Just wanted to pop in and say hi!!! Hope you are having a wonderful Tuesday!!
 
That sounds like an excellent plan! Working out will make the lbs melt off, you'll see!

Stick with it, you will succeed! :cheer2:
 
Aww thankies for all the support guys! *hugs* without you guys i really would be off snacking already!

Schedule:
Yesterday i worked 6-10pm
Today i'll work 12-5

Exercise wise: I have to bus to work today, so i'll get in at least my 10 minute walk to the bus stop. While i'm waiting i'm probably going to walk back and forth, not to far though to get more walking in. At work i'm working the floor today, so i'll be doing at least 1 hour of cleaning/walking around. And when i get home i'm going do my hula hoops!

Menu:

Breakfast:
Had a handful of black pepper jack dorito's (110cals ish)
1 glass of H2O

Lunch:
Packed an instant noodle cup (300cals)
3 funsized starburst packages (6x25cals = 150cals)

Dinner:
TBA

Total: TBA

11:19am
I"m excited for today, i really want one good day on track, that way i can make the next day and the next day after that. I really need one good day now and one good week with a weightloss for more motivation.

Yesterday i spent a good hour on disney.com looking at what i wanted to buy. I think i'm going to order the mickey stocking!! xD and so many cute stuff i want like the cuties fleece throw. Just got to focus on paying off my credit card debts first though!
 
Yesterday was okay. I ate okay decently but went overboard with the funsized bars. I also didn't work but did see quite a couple of my friends. Overall and okay enjoyable day. I did get in my 10 minute walk though so i'm proud of myself.

Today:
I'ts now 1:37pm and all i've accomplished so far, is paid or i think i paid my visa bill. I have work tonight from 5-1am so it's going to be great, lotsa exercise tonight. Will be busy. I'm probably going to have a cup noodle for dinner or a sandwhich. I'm broke atm so i can't really afford to be spending money left and right like i have in the past. I've given myself 40 dollars for the next two weeks. If i control my eating out i think i should be right on track.

Menu:

Breakfast: Long gone

Lunch:
1 fun sized kit kat
2 slices toasted white bread
1 tbsp maple butter
1 tbsp peanut butter

Snack:
1 large fuji apple

Before work:
1 costco berry sundae

Dinner:
Cup of instant noodles
2 starburst

Total:

Today i really want to stick to the plan. I got all motivated to lose weight yesterday and i still messed up. I will not fail today! i will stick to the plan!!!!
I think i really wanna go back to frozen dinners, yeah they may not of been super healthy but it kept me in control. But it' costs $ which i don't have available atm so i'll just have to wait it out until next week and make do with whatever my parents have around the house.
 
Hi!

I really like your new plan, especially the part about the hummus. Yum! I like to make my own so I can control the amount of tahini and olive oil. It's definetely a favorite of mine, and once its made it's so quick and easy.

Have a good week!
 
Just checking in and hope you are doing well. Your plan looks like a good one!!!!

Take care
Keep on :banana: :banana:
Chris
 















Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE







New Posts







DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter DIS Bluesky

Back
Top