Rising Anti-Child Movement...Parents BE AWARE

[Sandy V.]

Barbeml, I am sorry that you are constantly questioned or criticized about your reproductive choices. There are certainly a lot of oafs out there, aren't there? Please continue to do what suits YOU and yours best.

And by the way, you are correct. The "breeder" statements are cheap shots certainly meant to incite everyone into an ugly frenzy. Otherwise, they wouldn't be made as often as they are.

 

[barbeml]

LOL! Yes, I always picture them using their kids as a retirement plan!

 

[barbeml]

Thanks SandyV. You know, the people who make such remarks have no idea whether I am childless by choice or because I CAN'T have kids. I can only imagine how devastating such remarks are to those who want kids but cannot have them.

It never fails to amaze me what people will say without considering the other person's situation.

 

[charabby]

Originally posted by The Duchess
A few points...

You can't work with a child under 12 running around.

Really? I do it routinely all the time. My kids are 8 and 5 - I am available to them, but during those half days, days off, etc. when I have to work (I'm a consultant and control my own schedule), they entertain themselves. I definitely prefer working when they are at school or at day camp, but it's not accurate to say you can't work with kids around. Young children (toddlers, preschoolers) definitely need more direct supervision than I could give them while I'm working, but my older kids are just fine and my work is good too.

 

[goofygirl]

In my opinion, most of these people were probably extremely spoiled as children and never had to share anything and this is how they turn out, still not wanting to share

This statement is so ridiculous. So in your mind a person who does not want children is someone who "doesnt want to share"? Hmmm..how do married childfree people manage then if they "can't share" or "don't want to share?" Aren't they sharing homes, lives and experiences together?

Point is: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN TO SHARE!

 

[goofygirl]

Sorry, but this just strikes me as slightly odd. We have quite a few friends who don't have children and we have no problem finding thing to converse about for hours on end that don't involve my child. They don't seem to need an organization to belong to.

Fine, that's great that you can talk to your CF friends about anything, and things other than your child. Not all CF people have friends like this. What happens a lot is that a group of friends will be together, then they will pair off and marry, and those couples who have children will want to be with other couples who have children. As a result, the CF get left out. Its only human nature to want to be with people with a lifestyle like yours, hence the organization. On the flipside, there are plenty of parenting organizations too- just type "parenting organizations" in Google and you'll see. Are they "odd" too?

 

[mcnuss]

Just the story you would expect from the liberal Boston Globe...

I don't understand this part. I know the Globe is liberal, but isn't this statement sort of gratuitous? The last time I heard about this movement, it was on Fox News. Isn't that a pretty conservative network?

And who cares what these people do anyway? Why should I "BE AWARE"? Are these people planning to murder my child, kidnap her or something? Seems to me that everyone has a right to hang out with like-minded people. As long as they are not planning anything nefarious, I don't think we really need to worry about it.

Personally, I find them amusing. Kind of a fringe group that's getting its 15 minutes in the limelight.

 

[jjcollins]

NO KIDS ALLOWED


Sounds like a great idea to me -- and i'm not mean or hateful


jj........

 

[The Duchess]

"People see children as a burden," Blakely says. "It's OK for them to be nice, squeezeable, huggable, and so forth, but it's not so OK for them to take up space, time, and money. And when you look at these numbers -- what is it, $40 million, $50 million for a school? -- this is mind-boggling to people."

All this is profoundly troubling to Rutgers professor David Popenoe, who coauthored the study and co-directs the marriage project. He thinks the child-free are hitting enough of a critical mass to mobilize a culture war that pits them against people in more traditional families: mother, father, kids. "In public life in America, the shift has been away from child-centeredness," he says

These are the quotes that are frightening. I wish I had seen this story on FOX News. But the Globe article was very non-family and that cannot be denied.

Again, people in society today only care about themselves (and I admit I am the same way in protecting me and mine.)
Who cares about a hundred years from now? What can I get TODAY??

So, now the childless want their spot in the limelight...who will run our country in a hundred years? The childless do not worry about this or care, so long as they do not have to pay for anything TODAY. Personally, I'm paying for private school, so my child will have a future. I had ONE child and will not have another, for economical reasons, ie...ABPS (Anything but Public School.)

First we had a race war in this country, now we have a class war, soon we will have a breeder versus the barren war.

Until people stop living in their selfish, self-centered little bubbles (and I include myself in this!) and start preparing for the future of this great country, then all is lost, for both the parents and the non-parents.

 

[Hagred]

I refuse to live my life in fear.

I'd say that I probably feel this way because I'm single and child-free, but I've also known single/childfree people who are just as manipulated into fear because of the media.

So I say - turn off your TV, stop reading the American papers and surf on over to the BBC or Christian Science Monitor. Believe me, there are far more imminent and pressing things to worry about besides whether or not child-free people will take over the country.

 

[DebbieB]

I read the article, I don't see anything wrong with it. They are a group with similiar interests/lifestyles who want to get together. Just like there are other groups with similiar interests - like parents without partners or parents of multiples. Everyone is free to live their lives as they see fit.

Where I work, we have 3 family care days a year. When we first got them, they called them dependent care days and said the time off had to be to care for someone sick who lived with you, a dependent. That didn't seem fair for singles, so they changed it to family care where you could use the days to care for sick parents or any other family member. Sometimes you have to speak up to get what's fair.

 

[barbeml]

I'm pretty certain we will have enough people to run the country in the future.

The truth is, the planet has finite resources so I think it is a good thing that some of us choose not to reproduce.

Also, I'm pretty sure "barren" is a state, not a choice.

 

[The Duchess]

The truth is, the planet has finite resources so I think it is a good thing that some of us choose not to reproduce

You said it, not me.

 

[barbeml]

Wow, I hope that was not meant as viciously as it seemed.

I just meant that there is room for balance, choice and different lifestyles. Nature has a number of natural controls on population, and perhaps the fact that some are missing a "maternal/paternal instinct" is one of them.

 

[goofygirl]

The childless do not worry about this or care, so long as they do not have to pay for anything TODAY

That is not true. The childless DO care about the future. Just because they are not having children, or don't want to pay for someone else's children, does not mean they don't care.

There's plenty of childless/childfree involved in worthy causes to IMPROVE the future- environmental groups who want to clean up the air, land, water for future generations, for example.

How do YOU plan on "preparing for the future for this great country?" Other than sending your child to ABPS, that is?

 

[mcnuss]

I wish I had seen this story on FOX News. But the Globe article was very non-family and that cannot be denied.

Yes, it can be denied: the article was about a group that's anti-family; the article itself was not. Do you not see the difference? FOX treated it exactly the same way. Talked about who these people are, what their agenda is, and the like. No different. You can choose to see a liberal agenda between the lines, but sorry, it ain't there.


The fallacy in the argument of not paying for something that seems to benefit someone else, is that we all pay for that something else in one way or another, and bc of the (basically) democratic nature of our system of government, we all must at some point pay for something to which we are direly opposed. In my case it was the war, for others, apparently, it's the education of our children. (I would like to know who they intend to employ for skilled work in the future, but that's a subject for a different day.) I will simply remind them that since they did not want to "pay for my child", I will instruct her that the quid pro quo of this is that she should not have to pay for them in their old age...or for any program that she deems benefits them more greatly than they benefit her.

The child-free have no monopoly on good manners, social activism, and the like - just as not every child is an ill-mannered little heathen nor every parent an enabler of out of control child behavior. Let's not lose track of the basic fact that the majority of the child-free in this country do not ascribe to the views espoused in that article.

 

[chager]

The article did get to me to a point. If someone doesn't want to have children that is fine. I just don't like the whole pity party poor me approach. The whole I have to work more because I don't have a family thing. When my son was an infant I put in all kinds of extra hours because the manager over me had children that had activities in the evenings. At one point when Nick was 6months old he became VERY ill. I'm talking ER visit ill. The manager became furious because I called in the day before I was scheduled for 2 vacation days. Nick didn't have a runny nose and cough ....he had been in the ER and had a spinal tape and several tests done on him. I couldn't hardly hold him because of the bruise sites from needles. About 3 weeks later I receive a phone call..Nick's tongue is swelling and he has a fever of 103. I told the manager my son was ill and I needed to leave...she says "well I have to go get my kids from the daycare because "J's" stomach is hurting. Since this office needs a manager here you need to stay.Besides your mom can handle it. I'm sure he's fine. You also have to finish those loan apps because that is your job. "(Fortunately for me some HR people were in the office that day and overheard what was said. I did get to rush to the Dr and be with my son. ) I worked ALOT of extra hours (I was salaried so no OT) so other managers could do whatever they needed to do. Why ..because it was my job. I left this job just before Nick's 1st birthday. My next job also required early and late stays even though I had a family. My coworker was single but she had "a life" and always left early or came in late. I was told by the manager I had to make up the difference since I was hired last. Sorry I just don't agree that all childless people have it worse then people with children. This is just my work place experiance though. SO I take issue with that excuse.
I also don't like to be called a "breeder". I'm not an animal.

Again I say not having children or having children is a personal choice. If you choose not to don't complain discrimination and if you choose to don't complain discrimination.

mcnuss - I agree most childless couples don't agree with this thinking...at least the ones I know don't

ok stepping away from the soapbox now. Wishing everyone a great day.

 

[Tiffany]

As a person who has been married for over 10yrs and is childfree by choice I have to put my two cents in on this topic.

I read the article and even I thought some of the items were over the top. I like kids. My husband and I coached Little League, we have neices and nephews that we enjoy but for many personal reasons that my husband and I discussed before we got married neither of us wanted to have children of our own even though we can.

We enjoy our marriage and our lives very much. We also enjoy the time we spend with our nieces and nephews.


As far as property taxes for schools go people who are against that are missing the point the base of a good city/town is its school system.

I just believe that not everything that is made/produced needs to be childfriendly. It is okay to have adult themed places (and I am not talking about sexual things either). I say it is fine to bring children but make sure they behave. No one else thinks it is cute when your two year old is screaming and crying in a place that is going to run you $200 or more for dinner.

So not all of us who are childfree hate children. We just do not think that our selfworth is tied to how many children we have. As I said there are many different reasons why we choose not to have children. All we want is to not be treated as second class citizens because of that choice.

To be honest with you we are not treated as second class citizens as another couple that we are close with, my husband and the husband of the other couple went to high school together, have also been married I believe over 12yrs now and they are childfree by choice also. My mother would presure us earlier in our marriage becuase I think she figured once we were married for awhile we would change our minds. Well, 10plus years of marriage later and our minds have not changed and will not.

I do not call people who have children breeders. I think that is a little over the top but I do believe that people need to be responsiable for their choices and if you cannot afford to provide basic needs of food, clothing and shelter for yourself without help from outside agencies then you should rethink your choice to bring a child into this world until you are able to provide the basics not only for yourself but for the child.

My two cents. If any wants to flame me feel free.

 

[HeartofGold]

Unless you attended all private schools (as my child has) WHO paid for your education? Other people, with and without children. Suck it up and be grateful.

 

[Sheila_C]

Children are not for everyone as has been stated here repeatedly.

Not wanting children does not automatically = hate for children.

And this is just over the top:

In my opinion, most of these people were probably extremely spoiled as children and never had to share anything and this is how they turn out, still not wanting to share

Or, perhaps, if you weren't so selfishly judging others you could oh, maybe see a different side of the coin.

Perhaps after abusive childhoods and one parent being murdered by her sibling, a man and a wife were so grateful to find each other they did not want to risk their future by reproducing given the history of violence and mental disorders from the families they grew up in.

Perhaps they were so eternally grateful to God for pairing them up together and finding peaceful lives at last they would never do anything to rock the life they have created together.


And, perhaps if you thought a bit further, you might realize that oh, Jesus Christ, was also childfree.