Rising Anti-Child Movement...Parents BE AWARE

[MAC3]

I wonder if they refer to their own parents as breeders?

I for one am not threatened by anyone or their lifestyle.

 

[swea_pea1]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
I just don't get the complaints from those without children over the work issues. I leave work early some days because I am meeting DH and friends for dinner, or I am going to some special event. I even tell my boss that is why I am leaving. No problems. I am a salaried worker, and those couple hours do not come out of my vacation or sick time, but I subtract them from my Comp time (even though it is my own records). Why can't you leave early to do your own thing? I don't get it. Why do you get all upset at the parents if you don't do this or it's not allowed? It's not their fault. Talk to management, make some changes. Sheesh.

Maybe it's easier to just complain.

My thoughts exactly. In my company:

We pay "family care time" which includes time off to take your children, parents, spouses, or SO's to doctor's appointments or the like - gives advantage to anybody married, with children, with parents or with an SO.

We have a separate health care costs for "employee only", "employee with spouse" or "family plan". Of course, my family plan is the most expensive - no advantage to having children.

We allow 4 hours per month "community volunteer time" which can be used to read to your child's class at school, build a house with "Habitat for Humanity", work at a local blood drive, etc. - no advantage to employees with children.

Just today as the Manager in my group, I allowed an employee to leave two hours early today to make it to a hair appointment. I've also allowed folks to come in late because they were getting their car registered, had their hot water tank blow up, one burglary, and one that had her car stolen. Clearly, the folks with children aren't the only ones jetting out the door early or coming in late.

Also in the past two days, DH (who works for the same company) had a co-worker call off because her dog is sick.

Sounds like these folks just need to ask rationally...I'll tell you right now if I heard whining about who gets what, I'd be less likely to be flexible with anybody on my team.

 

[goofygirl]

The problem with society today is everyone wants THEIRS and to hell with everyone else. Everyone needs some cause or complaint so they can be angry at someone or something. Every minority wants their issue to be forced on everyone else.

Can you honestly tell me that YOU never felt like the minority, or the "odd man out" sometimes? You said you are the parent of ONE child. Did anyone ever make comments to you like "You need to have ANOTHER ONE, because an only child is a lonely child." or "Don't you WANT another one? How can you NOT want another one? If you don't have another, your only child is going to be SPOILED!" Your child is in private school. Did anyone ever say something to you like "What?? PUBLIC SCHOOL isn't good enough for your child?" Come on, there must have been a time when you felt like the minority, and felt angry and frustrated.

Where are the herds of wild children running unsupervised that are bothering these people so much?

Well, it isn't HERDS I see, but it seems that in almost any given mall or store, especially on the weekends, there's at least a few kids that are either not listening, running around, or being loud.

 

[goofygirl]

Who are they fighting exactly? Us breeders? Our children?

They are fighting injustices in the workplace towards the childfree (some examples of that have already been discussed) , also they are fighting against the stereotypes that are perpetuated by society- that being childfree= being selfish or odd, or wrong, or materialistic. They want acceptance.

They are fighting against the increased tolerance of bad behavior that society seems to have for kids. The childfree will no longer be quiet when a noisy kid is disturbing their nice dinner out, or their movie. Why should they just sit there and say nothing?


When I say "fighting", I do not mean physical fighting. I mean "speaking out." Seems some people here are having visions of armies of childfree people marching up the street and invading their homes, like the Nazis or something! To believe such a thing is plain silly!

 

[goofygirl]

I don't know if this was already discussed, I have not read every page, but I also wanted to say that a BREEDER and a PARENT is not the same thing.


A parent is one who take the time to be responsible for their child and raises them properly. A parent shows consideration for those around them, and is aware when their child is being disruptive and does something about it. They do not bring their kids into adult places. They do not expect special treatment simply because they have a child.

A breeder is someone who has children, but does not PARENT them. They usually have children for stupid, selfish reasons, like being too lazy with birth control, or to trap a man, or to get money from welfare, or to get attention, or to please someone else, like a family member, the list goes on. They think they are entitled to bring their kids EVERYWHERE- like a workplace, or an R rated film. Their children are the ones being noisy and running around. Or sometimes, a breeder will not even be around at all. Or, if a breeder is around, sometimes he/she will be so absorbed in their children that they no longer talk about THEMSELVES, when you ask them "How are YOU doing?" they will answer back about their kids, and usually will impose photos on you of the baby. (By the way, all babies look alike to me, but you can't say that to a breeder! LOL) A breeder will also pester the childfree around them to breed themselves. A breeder feels threatened by the childfree lifestyle and will degrade the CF because of fear, resentment or jealousy. And this is why the childfree prefer the company of other CF people rather than breeders.

Its the breeders, not the parents, that the childfree have a problem with.

And nothing is wrong with a childfree living community. If certain apts/communities do not allow pets, what's wrong with one that doesn't allow kids?

 

[always quiet]

Oh God, why is this topic up again??!! Personally, if anyone choses to have 1 child, 10 children or NO children, that is THEIR choice to make. What they do is their own decision and quite frankly I have better things to do with my day than to care what everyone else is doing!!

Now people, those with children and those without.....get over this and get on with YOUR life!!

 

[goofy4tink]

May I jump in with a few observations??
1. May I be justified if I ask that rowdy bunch of 'adults' at the next table to quiet down? Happens all the time. There have been times when I haven't been able to hear conversation at my table due to the 'loudness' at the adults only table nearby.

2. Is is now okay to pay for fire/police assistence when you actually use it? I wonder how much is will cost to have the fire truck at my house when it's burning. Or the police when someone is robbing me. I wonder how many people would actually pay the bill. Or maybe, you would have to have a check in hand to turn over before the fire was put out!!

3. My son, 30, also works in a 24/7 job. He routinely asks for those holiday shifts, knowing that there are people with families. All he asks for in return is for them to cover for him if need be down the road. Seems to be working just fine.

4. THose of you that are in jobs where the family people are allowed more 'priviledges....you might want to take that up with management. Some workplaces don't have these issues. You leave early...you make it up later that week. You have time off...it's vacation or sick time.

5. There are always going to be those 'out there, radical' groups. Hopefully, this particular one will stay in Cambridge, a town known for it's more 'intellectual' folk.

If you don't want kids, that's cool. I have no problem with that. When I take my dd out, she behaves. I do have a problem with parents that allow their 'precious' children to do whatever they want. I do in fact have a family member that falls into this catagory. They are not, I repeat, not fun to be around!!!! They decided when my dd was born that maybe it was time for them to have a child. I mean, she was so cute, you know. Well. They were almost breeders. That child was born and has always had a nanny. They make very few concessions to having a child. Their lifestyle hasn't changed, to the detriment of the child. Please, not all of us are breeders. We're trying the best we can.

 

[disneydragon]

Originally posted by always quiet
... Personally, if anyone choses to have 1 child, 10 children or NO children, that is THEIR choice to make. What they do is their own decision and quite frankly I have better things to do with my day than to care what everyone else is doing!!

If you have better things to do and don't care, why did you post?

 

[Hagred]

Originally posted by goofy4tink
4. THose of you that are in jobs where the family people are allowed more 'priviledges....you might want to take that up with management. Some workplaces don't have these issues. You leave early...you make it up later that week. You have time off...it's vacation or sick time.

I would love to. Unfortunately, management are mostly parents and are the ones who are allowing this to continue.

A co-worker of mine took it up with management about a year ago. He was 'downsized' out of a job three months later. In the interest of survival I'll keep my trap shut at work, grumble on the internet and cheer when I hear of other childfree people taking back the night.

 

[The Duchess]

I would love to. Unfortunately, management are mostly parents and are the ones who are allowing this to continue.

Then you work for a poorly run company. Go to Human Resources if you have issues. Clearly there is no teamwork in your department if people (parents and non-parents) are not willing to cover for one another.

We have a mix of parents...sorry "breeders"...and non parents in my department (this is an international company) and no one takes advantage of their time. We all cover for one another, be it a sick child, a Red Sox game, a broken down car or a sick parent.

and cheer when I hear of other childfree people taking back the night.

I'm not sure what that means...but it's kind of creepy.

 

[momof2inPA]

What do all the anti-"breeder" people do at their conventions? Propose changes in legislation that would aid their cause? Or sit around exchanging pictures of their pets? All cats look alike to me-- and smell alike.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

Originally posted by CEDmom
I'm reading the story now and I can't help but laugh at this:

"Schneider, 40, a four-year member of the Boston chapter of No Kidding. She's here tonight with her husband, though he's still in the closet and declines to give his name. As a teacher in Framingham, he fears his anti-kid sentiment might cost him his job."

Gee, how long will it take for someone in Framingham to figure out who this guy is since they also provide this bit of information:

"Lori Schneider is a former cop from Connecticut who's going back to school"

Not only am I ashamed that this article has come out of my state but ashamed that one of them shares a family name with me(although we are certainly not related).

Some people just think the world revolves around them so everyone else should revolve around them as well.
I for one think parents don't get enough credit for what they have done.
I know this past month alone I have put my parents through hell (and not because I wanted to) with my medical scare 20 hours from home but my parents braved through it and even though we were far apart were by my side the entire time.

 

[MAC3]

Originally posted by momof2inPA
Or sit around exchanging pictures of their pets? All cats look alike to me-- and smell alike.

Too funny!

Edited to say: No offense Simba!

 

[goofygirl]

May I be justified if I ask that rowdy bunch of 'adults' at the next table to quiet down? Happens all the time. There have been times when I haven't been able to hear conversation at my table due to the 'loudness' at the adults only table nearby

Sure, you'd be justified. If someone is disturbing your peace, you should say something. Does not matter if the noisemaker is grown or a child. The noise shouldn't be happening.

Or sit around exchanging pictures of their pets? All cats look alike to me-- and smell alike.

You're entitled to your opinion. I feel the same about babies.

At a No Kidding convention the same things happen that would happen at any other convention. They have dinners, listen to speakers, talk about various topics that pertain to their group, they may discuss publications, exchange ideas, socialize, and have fun. Doesn't sound too radical to me!

I know this past month alone I have put my parents through hell (and not because I wanted to) with my medical scare 20 hours from home but my parents braved through it and even though we were far apart were by my side the entire time.

This has nothing to do with what No Kidding is talking about. They are talking about the problems they have with parents who WON'T PARENT, not with parents who are worried about their sick child hours from home.

 

[KristiKelly]

I noticed several times in the article people would say that if they had kids they wouldn't have time to do the things that they enjoy - well DUH! In my opinion, most of these people were probably extremely spoiled as children and never had to share anything and this is how they turn out, still not wanting to share.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I love these type of threads!

 

[The Duchess]

They have dinners, listen to speakers, talk about various topics that pertain to their group, they may discuss publications, exchange ideas, socialize, and have fun.

I'm just curious what topics would pertain to this group that would not pertain to the general population other than disliking children?

Parent see movies, read books, go to the theatre, dine out, go on vacation, are involved in politics, read magazines and have fun.

Sorry, but this just strikes me as slightly odd. We have quite a few friends who don't have children and we have no problem finding thing to converse about for hours on end that don't involve my child. They don't seem to need an organization to belong to.

 

[DJBounce]

I really do honestly feel for those who do feel pressured or feel singled out at their workplace because they are not parents (either by choce or by biological reasons). I do.

But one thing I do have offense with, as a parent, is being referred to as a breeder. Now I know that in the article in the Boston Globe the author, not any direct quotes from proponents of the movement, used the term breeder. I find this as condescending and contemptuous as if I were to refer to those without children as "The Barren Ones". And please, before anyone tries to put it simply by saying "Gee, breeding is a biologically correct term for what you did" don't patronize me. And the whole post on Parent Vs. Breeder, How to tell the difference...give me a break...what gives anyone the right to throw out labels at each other. I like to think I am a good parent, but if I were to see a mother with three kids running around the mall yelling and screaming and she has a noncaring look on her face about the whole scene, I am sure not going to assume I know what her life is like and label her as a "BREEDER" (not a parent mind you).

 

[barbeml]

I agree with you, no one has a right to throw out labels. I doubt "breeder" is intended to be a compliment, and I certainly wouldn't use it.

I also resent being termed "spoiled" and "unwilling to share" because I chose not to have children.

I will never understand why so many women with kids feel free to make nasty cracks to me because I do not have kids. (DH's boss's wife never fails to make snide remarks about it). I have been called "selfish" and told "Well who are you going to live off when you get old?" The day after my wedding the relatives were hounding me (the same two who always complain about their rotten children).

I can't imagine what they would think if I asked them "Why on earth did YOU have kids?"

 

[DJBounce]

and told "Well who are you going to live off when you get old?"

so their kids are their retirement plan...and I thought my retirement plan to win the lottery was pretty far fetched and nuts.

The day after my wedding the relatives were hounding me (the same two who always complain about their rotten children).

Thats awful....My wife and I have a few single friends and I feel that whatever decision they make is ultimately their decision, not ours, not anybody's.