Restroom question/issue...

[CPM]

I don't understand the issue with the male children in a female restroom. I have 3 girls but I would not care, its not like we walk around naked in the restroom. Its all stalls. Can someone explain this????

Now a 12 year old boy in a womens locker room I would definatley be uncomfortable with.

I really don't see what the problem or uncomfortable facotor is either. It's just ridiculous.
We are
all in separate stalls, not peeing in a urinal.
I always take my 8 year old son in with me and could care less if any other women in there has a problem with that. I certainly wouldn't let him look under the stall.
I feel badly for the men who have to take thier daughter's to the bathroom. Not sure what they do. More places should really have family bathrooms.

I don't think we ever used the public bathrooms on the ship. Our stateroom was always pretty close and he was in the kid's club a lot of the time.

 

[suesings]

I must say that I am so thrilled I have two little girls. We have no worries that a woman is going to attack them in the women's bathroom. I love all the family bathrooms now! I know I would be afraid if I had a son to let them go into a men's bathroom alone. Unfortunately, most nutcases are men so it raises your odds.

I do get annoyed at swim lessons though when mom's bring their 5+ year old sons into the women's dressing room. More than once I have seen older boys just staring at women trying to change either in or out of their swimsuits and get their daughter's dressed. There is a sign that says only boys under 5 are allowed in the dressing rooms, but that doesn't seem to stop many of the mom's. I see how scary it must be to leave your son outside by themself but it is VERY uncomfortable to undress in front of them. Again, I am so happy I have two little girls so I do not have to deal with worrying about the men's bathroom or bringing them into a women's dressing room and making everyone uncomfortable.

Sue

 

[debm]

wow ! I just read this entire thread. I have to say, I am very leary letting my 11 year old in a public restroom by himself. Yes, I know the odds are SO slim but.....

I just thought I would mention that many kids look a lot older than they are. So please, before you get upset at someone for bringing a child into a locker room---they may not be as old as they look. My friend's husband was about 6'5" and her 3 year old was so tall he looked about 6!! And of course whenever he fussed or threw a tantrum like a 3 year old might do---many people would look at her like she was such a bad mom. She said she always felt like explaining---he's only 3!!!

I have the opposite problem. My 2 older boys are short and look very young for their age. Last week we actually had an incident where I left my child at the bowling alley on the Air Force Base to run 2 blocks away to the commissary for 45 minutes. He is 11, we spend 3 days a week at the alley, he calls it his 2nd home, we know all the people that work there, etc. etc. That is the one place I have given him some independence. His dad and I even bowled a few games with him before we left. Well, sure enough, some man thought my 11 year old couldn't be more than 7---bowling well over 170 mind you---and he approached the manager who came to get me at the commissary. uuuugh. What really upset me was that they didn't even ask my son for his ID or tell him what was going on . The manager was just worried about upsetting him. The man just assumed the worst. Don't get me wrong---I'm glad that he was concerned. Anyhow....just pointing out that kids don't always look their age.

Also I have a son with Down syndrome who is 9. No way will I let him in a public restroom by himself. Not just for his safety but the fact that he will play in the urinals, play with the toilet paper, crawl under stalls. Gross!!! So if you see me in WDW I WILL have him in the bathroom with me. Sorry for those that don't like it but he won't be looking at you. He will be more concerned with me wanting him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands.

OP---have lots of fun on your cruise. Wish we were there with you!!

 

[julia & nicks mom]

This thread reminded me of this story. It happened in Oceanside, California in November 1998. However, Matthew Cecchi was only 9 and was killed in a restroom by a knife slash to the neck. Brandon Wilson, a drifter from Wisconsin, was picked up within days, was identified by Matthew's aunt who had been standing right outside the restroom, and admitted to the murder. I, too, have no problem bringing my youngest ds into a women's restroom.

Lisa

I thought of this story too - it has always haunted me!!

 

[kellimomo3]

I have three sons ages 8, 7 & 4. I am a SAHM and I am constatly at places without my husband. I bring my boys into the ladies room at any place that does not have a family restroom or single toilet men's room. They may not like it but they understand that it is for their saftey. They are respectful of others in the restroom and I can't imagine it making anyone uncomfotable. Like another poster said it is not like anyone walks around naked in the women's room. I would not bring them into a women's dressing room. I feel for the fathers who have to make the same choices when they are alone with their daughters. After all, a young girl in a men's room may see more than she bargained for!!

I think it all comes down to the saftey of the children. When my boys are a bit older and more "street-wise", they are very naive right now, I will let the two older ones go together.

Kelli

 

[lbgraves]

My DH says that he just picks up our now 4 yo DD and covers her eyes & takes her into a stall quickly. Since she finally decided to potty train that is just an issue that we have had to deal with. DS also appears to be 8 though he just turned 6. When he needs to change after swim class I check the dressing area first and if anyone is in there, he knows that his eyes will be covered & he will be walked to a stall. While murders are low in number, molestation happens all the time. Last year a mom waited outside a WM restroom for her DS and was shocked when the next man who went in found her son being molested. Unfortunantly in today's world precautions are necessary. The one time you let your guard down and something happens people will quickly ask where the parent was and why did they put their child in danger.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I must say that I am so thrilled I have two little girls. We have no worries that a woman is going to attack them in the women's bathroom. I love all the family bathrooms now! I know I would be afraid if I had a son to let them go into a men's bathroom alone. Unfortunately, most nutcases are men so it raises your odds.

I do get annoyed at swim lessons though when mom's bring their 5+ year old sons into the women's dressing room. More than once I have seen older boys just staring at women trying to change either in or out of their swimsuits and get their daughter's dressed. There is a sign that says only boys under 5 are allowed in the dressing rooms, but that doesn't seem to stop many of the mom's. I see how scary it must be to leave your son outside by themself but it is VERY uncomfortable to undress in front of them. Again, I am so happy I have two little girls so I do not have to deal with worrying about the men's bathroom or bringing them into a women's dressing room and making everyone uncomfortable.

Sue

Woman can more certainly do something to lettle girls, so you are far out of the woods. Not to mention the fact that what about when you are not there and their father or another male is in charge of them. Girls going into the men's restroom is much worse than a boy going into the women's restroom.

Our swimming pools restrict the women's dressing room to boys under 6yo, so my 5yo is still within the boundries. I get Jake into one of the few private dressing stalls for him to get dressed, which works well at the pool that has the stalls. What bugs the heck out of me aren't the women changing clothes or getting in and out of the shower, it's the women who are parading around naked without even a towel wrapped around them. I personally think that a bit of modestly could serve them well and I would never walk around without covering myself a bit even if it was just women.

There do need to be more family changing rooms because I don't know what I will do when my son is 6yo. If there weather is warm he can go in his swimsuit and leave the same way, but not in cod weather.

T&B

 

[crisi]

I can do molestation stats:

Note, molestation stats are notoriously inaccurate. There is great disagreement on if this is over reported or underreported, but here are a few from a cite concerned about child safety, so I'd suspect an overreporting bias if anything....

1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused as children
1 in 4 girls
girls account for 75% of abuse cases (note this doesn't quite match the earlier statements - this all comes from different studies)
95% of sexual abuse is perpatrated by someone the child knows.
A child who is mentally or physically disabled is 4 to 10 times as likely to be a victim of abuse.
The mean age for abuse in boys is 9.5. The mean age for girls is 12.5

I'm more concerned about my babysitters, scout leaders, Sunday school teachers, teachers, neighbors, and relatives than about strangers.

I have a problem with older boys in women's restrooms. My problem is that I've had the occation to hear one talk to his friends after the experience. Until that experience I was of the "Mom knows best" camp. Little Peeping Tom! In that case, Mom wasn't protecting him from sexual abuse, she was creating a little sexual abuser. The child was probably nine or so, it was a fast food restaurant, and Mom was no where near while he described why he still let Mom take him into the ladies room to his friends (who were giving him a hard time over it). A child old enough to show sexual interest in nakedness does not belong in a ladies room where, yes, there are stalls, but there are also large enough gaps in stall doors to allow peeking. I do understand the problem, I have a six year old (who uses the men's room alone only in places he and I are both comfortable - i.e. not the shopping mall, but at the skating rink with his friends when they all go together). Its a rock and a hard place, they grow up too fast for what they are ready for.

 

[Skywalker]

I have a 6 year old boy, who is big for his age, and you better believe he comes in the ladies room with me if either of us has to go! And yes, I have received some VERY dirty looks from women in there. You know what? Tough. I am his mother and the one looking out for his best interests. Paranoid? Maybe. But even if there is only a 1 in 60 million chance or whatever, I know one thing...that 1 is NOT going to be my son.

 

[DancingBear]

To return to the OP's inquiry, it appears that there are no family bathrooms near the pool, so she can either choose to take her son into the Women's bathroom with her, or allow him to use the Men's room. Personally, I would consider the Men's room next to the pool to be a safe enough option, because it's relatively small, has (as I understand it) only one entrance/exit, and is not likely to be occupied by anyone other than your fellow cruisers (and not by drifters from Wisconsin). But, that's up to you.

BTW, the other men here can correct me, but I doubt many men would have an issue with fathers bringing their daughters into the men's room, as much as women seem to be concerned about the opposite. I'd expect a decent respect for others' privacy (shield their eyes and take them into a stall, if necessary), but I just can't picture a man telling a father that he shouldn't be doing it.

 

[zakatak]

Thank you DancingBear... I'm still here monitoring for answers to my original question. I will most likely try and get him to go before we go swimming, like we always do, but with "free" drinks poolside, well... I'll check out the situation and probably let him go by himself (after another chat about safety, personal space, etc...).

 

[dwkwootton]

My kids are grown and they're all girls. Can I just toss out the food for thought or perspective? A day or two there was an equally supercharged thread about whether or not it was safe to let (approx) 10-12 year olds wander the ship alone till the wee hours of the morning. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that I have an opinion on boys (approx 9) using the ladies room with mom and an opinion on kids wandering the ship unattended. But my thoughts here are two-fold. First, if its safe to let the preteens wander till some 2am then they are probably safe going to the bathroom alone at lunchtime since its likely they are doing so at 1 am. Or if its unsafe to use the potty alone at lunchtime, it has to be unthinkable to let them roam unsupervised in the middle of the night. And second, I'm hard pressed to find any of the 4 possible opinions available to warrant anything more than polite disagreement. Each of you has the power to handle your children as you see fit and really should not find it ok to become personally accusatory to those who choose to handle their children their way.

 

[crisi]

Thank you DancingBear... I'm still here monitoring for answers to my original question. I will most likely try and get him to go before we go swimming, like we always do, but with "free" drinks poolside, well... I'll check out the situation and probably let him go by himself (after another chat about safety, personal space, etc...).

Oh No! Now you've opened up the possibility of peeing in the pool!

 

[dwkwootton]

Oh No! Now you've opened up the possibility of peeing in the pool!

As long as its not from the diving board, it won't be tooooooo bad!

 

[budwmn]

As long as its not from the diving board, it won't be tooooooo bad!

Nice one!

 

[zakatak]

Oh Nooooooooo! I didn't mean THAT!

Bad Crisi... Bad.

 

[allears]

Zakatak, I think through the muck, the basic information is there. There is a men's and ladies room right between the Mickey and Goofy pools. They, well at least the men's room is small, one sitting one standing spot. We have always had a pretty high compfort level for our kids safety on the ship. We have an 8 year old boy also and on our cruise in September, I would let him run around the corner to the rest room by himself. But we any other time, dinner showes etc, we "made" our 14 year old walk him to the rest room. Both from a safety standpoint as well as not wanting him to get turned around and lost.

Only you know if you'll feel comfortable letting go in a lone. And there have been some good suggestions like having him go in and tell you if it's empty. You'll be able to see people going in and out, and really not more than two can fit.

And wow, what a trip this tread is, certainly has taken on a most interesting life of it's own.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

As long as its not from the diving board, it won't be tooooooo bad!

Can you imagine someone taking a whiz from the diving board! OMG!

T&B

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Zakatak, I think through the muck, the basic information is there.
And wow, what a trip this tread is, certainly has taken on a most interesting life of it's own.

Hey, what muck??? Sometimes it is amazing when threads come to life, esecially when the OP asked a very innocent question like in this case.

T&B

 

[inkkognito]

Okay everyone, let's play nice. Remember, the topic isn't what can happen in a restroom or whether it's right or wrong to bring in opposite sex children. Remember, this is the cruise board, so let's keep it on topic and related to the OP's question about specific restrooms on the ship.
Barb