Not sure why nurses ask what they do

[Dznypal]

I had a to have a procedure done last month that’s very hard to get ready for.
Let’s just put it this way. You can’t eat anything and your in the bathroom all night.

So I said to my DH watch someone will ask how I’m doing.

I couldn’t believe it when 3 people asked that question.

So now unfortunately I need a repeat and it’s the after Mother’s Day.
I sure hope no one asks me how my Mother’s Day was.
Just like the last one I’ll just let them know how it was.
I have very high aniexties and panic attacks over this and it’s very hard for me to get through it.
Sometimes it just helps to let it out Thsnks

 

[Pea-n-Me]

So you’re upset they’re concerned with your well being or trying to ascertain if you were safe to go through with the procedure? Sorry you have to go through that (truly, I understand how hard it is), but I think they’re just doing their job.

 

[dizneegirl]

It's their job to make sure you're OK (or, in this case, as OK as you're going to be). They don't mean "how is life."

 

[Dznypal]

The way it came out it was making g small talk
When I’m in a panic attack and anxieties are fling high the last thing I want is small talk.
I’m sure they’re trained that small talk helps take your mind off things for me it makes it worse.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The way it came out it was making g small talk
When I’m in a panic attack and anxieties are fling high the last thing I want is small talk.
I’m sure they’re trained that small talk helps take your mind off things for me it makes it worse.

No, nurses aren’t trained in small talk. But as a nurse, you have to talk to people, for a lot of reasons, including assessing the patient while you’re talking. If they found you to be anxious then maybe they were just trying to make you more comfortable. It wouldn’t hurt for you to say, nicely, as I’ve had people say to me, “I appreciate your efforts but I’m quite anxious and if it’s ok I’d rather not chit chat”. They’ll get your drift and the rest of your visit will likely be quiet.

 

[disneychrista]

I would be more concerned if the nurse & hospital staff didn't ask me how I am doing, especially before a medical procedure. I agree with @Pea-n-Me just say you are doing okay, anxious, etc. but prefer to be quiet right now.

 

[brockash]

I had a to have a procedure done last month that’s very hard to get ready for.
Let’s just put it this way. You can’t eat anything and your in the bathroom all night.

So I said to my DH watch someone will ask how I’m doing.

I couldn’t believe it when 3 people asked that question.

So now unfortunately I need a repeat and it’s the after Mother’s Day.
I sure hope no one asks me how my Mother’s Day was.
Just like the last one I’ll just let them know how it was.
I have very high aniexties and panic attacks over this and it’s very hard for me to get through it.
Sometimes it just helps to let it out Thsnks

They're just pleasantries, no need to really think about your answer, unless they ask more follow up questions and then just be honest (due to medical needs). A simple fine thanks, how are you is all that's needed.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

It's a combination of bedside manner, getting a gauge on patient wellbeing, and just general pleasantries you'd expect in conversation. I understand it makes you anxious but I wouldn't trust my health with any professional that didn't ask about my personal state/wellbeing. Even if it was meant as just a normal part of generic conversation, a patient's answer to this kind of basic question can sometimes shed light on serious issues that may actually require attention. I remember being admitted to the hospital after my surgical incision became infected and every single medical pro I encountered asked how I was doing. I'm in the hospital, praying I don't lose my leg or worse...my life. They know I've had better days...much better days... but it's still, at the very least, those conversational norms to ask how it's going and it might lead to something they could do to make my experience better.

 

[Kitty 34]

The way it came out it was making g small talk
When I’m in a panic attack and anxieties are fling high the last thing I want is small talk.
I’m sure they’re trained that small talk helps take your mind off things for me it makes it worse.

Well I guess, tell them that then.

 

[slo]

Question for the OP…..

Would you have been happier with an unfriendly, uncaring nurse that blew you off, didn’t speak to you, was speaking curtly to you or just ignore you?

If not, you can’t have it both ways. These men and women have gone through an incredible amount of education to make sure we are taken care of under their watch. The one thing they aren’t trained in is mind reading. If you’re having a tough time, be honest with them and be kind. They don’t know you have high anxiety over a colonoscopy. You may be like me - I have them every one or two years and they are easy peasy for me. It’s ok to have high anxiety about a procedure, but it’s not ok to expect a nurse to know this without you kindly telling them. If you can’t tell them, then your spouse can speak for you.

And yes, they probably will ask you if you had a nice Mother’s Day. Please don’t be rude to them, just be kind and tell them it wasn’t your best Mother’s Day.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Have you asked any of your Dr's if there are any ways for you to better manage your moods as you move through this process?

I can tell this is very distressing for you and if asking how you are doing is upsetting I imagine this process might be causing a lot of conflict with friends and family who also ask the same sort of normal everyday questions all the time. It seems like this kind of irritability might be managed in some way.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I had a medical emergency, similar to Tiggertrigger, above. I just got home from rehab yesterday. I'm still in a wheelchair, but I have both feet. In my 8 weeks or so in the hospital/rehab, I got asked all sorts of questions. The nurses are NOT just exchanging pleasantries, they are assessing many things--level of consciousness, pain level, etc. If you're feeling anxious, answer honestly--they will try to help you as much as possible.

I always crack up that the medical staff seem fascinated with my digestion. Yes, I pooped today, thanks for asking! But, I never thought the question was due to a personal interest, they need to know (and chart) if there's a problem.

I do hope your follow-up goes okay.

 

[LKing]

When I’m in a panic attack and anxieties are fling high the last thing I want is small talk.

If you are having a legitimate panic attack, their job is to bring you down to a level that they can proceed with the procedure. When they asked how you were doing, did you tell them you were having a panic attack or did you say "fine"? They may have been able to see that you were not doing well but if you didn't tell them what was going, it is their job to keep checking.

 

[gottalovepluto]

When I’m in a panic attack and anxieties are fling high the last thing I want is small talk. .

It felt like “small talk” because your nurses actually had some bedside manner.

I would discuss the panic attacks with the Dr or your GP leading up to the procedure. Even if they can’t prescribe you anything for that day maybe they can point you towards some therapy that can teach you exercises to help since you have recurring panic attacks.