Responsibility challenge for a 10yo

[tiggerlover]

DS (10) has been asking for a cat for some time (our 17 year old kitty died a couple of years ago). I have been ready for a while, but DH has been holding out. I think we have come up with a compromise, if DS can show responsibility for 3 months than he will be able to get a cat as long as he takes responsibility for the care of the cat. So I am looking for ideas on how to have DS demonstrate that he is responsible and is up for the task. I have a few thoughts, but am looking to see what you all think so I can compare.

Thanks!

 

[SwedishMeatball]

It sounds reasonable. However, if your DS does not maintain the responsibility, will you be willing to take over?? I hope your efforts are successful, but would you threaten to get rid of the cat if it doesn't work out as you expect?? I'm not assuming you would, just wondering if you have considered the consequences.

 

[All American]

Do you mean cat-specific responsibility or just make-your-bed-everyday-type responsibility. If it is the former, you could see how he does changing a water bowl everyday. Sprinkle some dirt or something in it to see if he changes it each day. How about a litter box test run? Get a litter box, and each morning or afternoon put some, I don't know, pebbles confused3 ) and see how he handles that resposibility. How is he at vacuuming (if the vaccum isn't too heavy for him)? Gotta clean the cat hair. Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What responsibilities for care of the cat?

Litterbox? Probably too young for that.
Cleaning up puke and accidents? Again, a little too much for a 10yo.

A 10yo responsibility would be to feed and water the cat.

I have 10 & 15yo dd's. Middle school 12 & up is more of an age that can handle litterbox and the nasty parts of animal care.
That 2 years does make a difference if you are looking for him to be able to "do it all".

 

[minkydog]

A 10yo will only be really responsible to the feeding of the cat, and even then will need to be reminded. As previous posters have said, he's really too young to do clean-ups and litter duty just yet. But he can certainly sweep around the litterbox and make sure the kitty has clean bedding and fresh food. Just know that YOU are going to be the primary caregiver, even though he may be the primary cat lover. There is a reason that 10 yr olds don't have babies--they don't make good parents.

 

[KikiFan]

What responsibilities for care of the cat?

Litterbox? Probably too young for that.
Cleaning up puke and accidents? Again, a little too much for a 10yo.

A 10yo responsibility would be to feed and water the cat.

I have 10 & 15yo dd's. Middle school 12 & up is more of an age that can handle litterbox and the nasty parts of animal care.
That 2 years does make a difference if you are looking for him to be able to "do it all".

Man my daughter is going to be pissed when she finds out she was too young to clean out the litter box! LOL! Seriously though, doing the major cleaning might be too much but my daughter was scooping out the liter box daily starting at about 8. Yes I usually had to follow behind her and clean up some of the litter that she dropped on the floor. But I felt like she needed to learn to be responsible for an animal that was completely dependent on her. When she failed to clean the litter box and the cat went on the floor, she was responsible for cleaning that up too.

Maybe you could start him off with a goldfish? Or possibly give him a list of daily chores and see how good he is at following thru on that?

 

[Lisa L from MI]

I see nothing wrong at all----10 yo and litter box duty...

 

[All American]

I see nothing wrong at all----10 yo and litter box duty...

I agree.

 

[flying_babyb]

ok so im not the only one!! I was responsible for the cat box at age 7. Never got it totally clean but thats why once a week mom and I would change it all. I cleaned up woopes, and "Kitty should'nt have eaten" thats. Really, I see nothing wrong with that kid of responsiblity..


As for the boy- Dog walking, mabey dog sitting? It would be a chance to prove himself and make a little cash.

 

[disneyfreakk]

Maybe you could start him off with a goldfish?

Please dont use any kind of animal as a test run for responbibility! I had a fish when I was a kid and forgot to ever feed it. Of course it died because my mom couldnt tell that it hadnt eaten. Its been 20years, and I STILL feel horrible that I starved the poor thing to death.

 

[tiggerlover]

I was mainly talking about responsibility in general, as I know he can't show responsibility for taking care of a cat before having one. Basically we are hoping to teach him to be more responsible and if he can the reward will be the cat. If he proves he is responsible and we get a cat and then he falls back to the old ways, of course we will take care of the cat, pets aren't disposable. I just thought giving him something he really wants would motivate him to be more responsible.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I agree with Kikifan... I'd start off with a pet fish.

I have a fish myself, and I know how much work it is for ME at the end of a day to take the big heavy tank to the sink, take the fish out and put him somewhere else while I scrub the tank, refill it and carry it back... so I can imagine it would be a good test of responsibility for a ten-year-old. You have to remember to feed the fish every day, same thing with a cat, and you have to change the water on a near daily basis (although you could change it every day), same with the litterbox with a cat.

If the fish doesn't die (or the water doesn't turn green...), then he was taking care of it. My only advise would be to get this "trial fish" from Petco, because they keep their fish free of disease, so that won't be against your son to begin with.

 

[freckles and boo]

I have been thinking about this a bit because we are trying to teach our six-year-old about responsibilities and money.

Perhaps you can starts some seeds together on the windowsill? That way there is little guilt (and little expense as well) if he is neglectful. You can let seedlings die if he doesn't water and turn them. If he is successful you can plant out whatever you grew in the garden later.

 

[lowie]

psssst, cinrell has a thread going with 3 cutie kitties that need good homes. if i knew how to link it i would... why not start showing your son responsibility by adopting a kitty that really needs a good loving home!

 

[Otto's Doll]

Hi Debbi! I think 10 is a good age for the responsibility of watering, feeding and cleaning up after a cat. My DD has been doing litter box duty with her brother for a year or so now. I have 2 regular boxes, plus the Litter Robot, and they do a pretty good job. I do check it once a week or so, but there is no reason why he can't do the job. and you check it. We have 5 cats, so that is a lot to clean up after, but they know that it goes along with pet ownership. Responsibility is an important thing to learn ~you are doing a good job, mom!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I was mainly talking about responsibility in general, as I know he can't show responsibility for taking care of a cat before having one. Basically we are hoping to teach him to be more responsible and if he can the reward will be the cat. If he proves he is responsible and we get a cat and then he falls back to the old ways, of course we will take care of the cat, pets aren't disposable. I just thought giving him something he really wants would motivate him to be more responsible.

That is a toughie....

We waited to get our 2 Rescue dogs when I knew my oldest dd 15, would be able to assume 100% care, except driving to the vet, of course. Which she will be able to do in a few months.

Dogs are certainly 10X's more work than a cat.

Can a 10yo do the litterbox...of course. Would my 10yodd want to do that for a cat...heck no.
She is just not as "mature" in that dept.

Heck she just started washing her own hair and wearing jeans this year.

What is he responsible for now? My 10yodd has alot of things she has to do. Most of it is caring for herself, school things, etc...
How well does he care for himself?

 

[tiggerlover]

I think I might not be explaining myself correctly, my whole question isn't really about getting a cat, the cat is the reward, it easily could be a video game, a bike or something else. What I am trying to do is to teach responsibility because DS has a hard time with it and I was using an incentive to try to get him to be more responsible. So what I am really looking for is advice on how to teach DS to be responsible.

What DS is "supposed" to do, but doesn't always follow through with are emptying the dishwasher, setting and clearing the table and keeping his room picked up. I don't think that is much to ask for. I would love to teach him to be responsible for his "jobs" without DH or I having to harp or nag to get the things done. Hence the reason for offering a reward if he shows he can be responsible.

Hi, Jeanne! Good to see you on the boards, how are you feeling? I am assuming all went well Wednesday...I have been thinking about you.

 

[tiggerlover]

plus the Litter Robot..

BTW, what is a Litter Robot?

 

[Otto's Doll]

Hi Debbi! Things went as expected yesterday, I am a bit sore but am moving around with no problem. I will be taking it real easy until I go back to work on Tuesday, but all is well. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

The litter robot is the best invention ever!! www.litter-robot.com a bit expensive, but worth every single penny. We have 5 cats, and will most likely purchase another robot this year. I don't have to scoop, just have to pull the garbage bag out 2 times a week. The kids do the two litter boxes downstairs. All 5 cats use the litter robot, I have had it for well over a year and we all love it!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What DS is "supposed" to do, but doesn't always follow through with are emptying the dishwasher, setting and clearing the table and keeping his room picked up. I don't think that is much to ask for. I would love to teach him to be responsible for his "jobs" without DH or I having to harp or nag to get the things done. Hence the reason for offering a reward if he shows he can be responsible.

Yea...it is called college and get out of my house.
Seriously, some kids are better at following through than others.

Well...OK...from a logical perspective....

It takes 6 weeks to form a "habit" generally. So you need to have him do the chore daily for 6 weeks. I really do not think you can offer rewards to obtain habit.

So does he shower, take care of himself, pack his lunch, etc....regularly on his own????
If not then start there....small things.

With my 10yo she will make a list of what she needs to do to prepare for school or whatever and then follows her routine.

So if you want your DS to empty dishwasher, set table, etc...it needs to be at a set time daily to turn it into a habit.

Does that make sense?