Responses you want to put on facebook, but can't

[nuttylawprofessor]

Admit it. Some of your friends post things to their status and wall that you want to respond to, but you can't because what you want to say is rude, insulting, or snarky.

Let it out here.

I'll go first:

I *REALLY* don't need to know what kind of secret lover you are in the bedroom -- especially if you're an older aunt or relative.

And yes, I know I can block the application, but it's got to come up once before I can block it. Once I've read it, though, I can't unread it.

 

[Belle0101]

Admit it. Some of your friends post things to their status and wall that you want to respond to, but you can't because what you want to say is rude, insulting, or snarky.

Let it out here.

I'll go first:

I *REALLY* don't need to know what kind of secret lover you are in the bedroom -- especially if you're an older aunt or relative.

And yes, I know I can block the application, but it's got to come up once before I can block it. Once I've read it, though, I can't unread it.

Seriously? You don't want to know about Grandma and Grandpa's bedroom theatrics? Knowing that might help you with Christmas gift ideas.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't need to know how dilated your cervix is or what percentage you are effaced. Just post once the baby is out for the love of God.

 

[terri01p]

 

[wdwiala]

To the teenage girl on my Facebook:

Her posts (almost always): Why is my life so crappy? Etc, etc. but with more vivid swear words.

What I really want to say: Because you refuse to listen to every mature person in your life. You insisted on moving in with your loser boyfriend who has cheated on you 3 times. You spend your nights drinking and smoking pot, that's why morning seems to come real fast. You are broke because you flunked all of your college courses and the school expelled you. You listened to your loser boyfriend who told you that school is not important. Sigh....

To my (soon to be ex-) BIL whose posts generally refer to his leaving for a bar to hang out with friends: Why don't you try staying home with your wife and kids every once and a while? Why don't you show the same enthusiasm for them that you show all of your bar hopping buddies? How about trying to make it through a few nights where you don't drive drunk and pass out in the garage, on the couch or on the front porch.

 

[kimblebee]

- Sorry, but no one besides you cares that your baby turned 15 days old today. We don't need the hourly diaper update either.

- Please, stop supporting your grown child. If you insist on doing it though, how about giving me the money you are now giving your son? He owes me thousands in child support and every penny helps.

-Stop posting about all the cool things you are buying when you are currently thousands of dollars in arrears in child support. It feels like a slap in the face and it really makes me feel like she isn't important to you.

 

[mamacatnv]

Stop posting the details of all the weekend get-aways, the concerts, the fancy dinners, drinks, massages and gift that you chose instead of mowing the lawn on the now foreclosed house that is across the street from me.

Oh and thanks for taking all your crap with you when you left, we love looking at it in a daily basis. So glad you get to spend so much time with "your love"......now that you are forced to pay rent, lets see if she still loves you as much as she did when you were wineing and dining her with the mortgage money.

 

[mamacatnv]

Stop whining about "Your Yankee's" for goodness sakes last I checked your name was not Steinbrenner

 

[mamacatnv]

I don't need to know how dilated your cervix is or what percentage you are effaced. Just post once the baby is out for the love of God.

 

[Maddle]

This is the BEST thread.

My snark - nope, sorry, nevermind - I had to edit my post. Even anonymously I can't say it.

Maddle

 

[teacherlisa1978]

How about something along the lines of "stop the secretive insider story" updates. Hearing that "it's not going well" or "someone's going to pay" just makes me worry about you and then wonder about your need for attention. It's a public site people, not therapy or a guessing game-say what you mean or keep it to yourself.

 

[*BTMRR*]

None of my friends post that kind of stuff.
The most annoying thing I get is the occasional crazy un-snoped rumor from a couple of my friends. No need to snark there, someone else always does it for me.

 

[wdwiala]

How about something along the lines of "stop the secretive insider story" updates. Hearing that "it's not going well" or "someone's going to pay" just makes me worry about you and then wonder about your need for attention. It's a public site people, not therapy or a guessing game-say what you mean or keep it to yourself.

Soooo annoying whey people post status lines that are a. an inside joke or b. designed to make people try to dig for more information.

 

[beaucoup]

It's school. Not skewl.
Go there and learn to spell.

 

[beaucoup]

I really want to write :

"What's with the bathroom pictures you look so stupid!"

I was really trying to find a way to say something about one of these tonight. Every 20 yr old has a dark grainy photo of themselves in the bathroom mirror taken on their cellphone, with phone in the picture. What, no friends to take a nice photo of you in a nice setting?

 

[bgirldeb]

No one really wants to hear all of your brags about what an awesome husband you have, except maybe your husband. Maybe you should stop spending so
much time on facebook bragging about him and spend some actual time with him once in a while.

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

I really don't care what you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day.

 

[powellrj]

stop having conversations on FB with the person in the same house as you. If you want your DH to bring you a cup of coffee, ask them in person, don't post it on FB.

Another one that always makes my eyes roll.....text me, please, if you want someone to text you, text them first.

I must have boring friends, I never get anything sexual, which I am very happy about.

 

[curious3069]

Soooo annoying whey people post status lines that are a. an inside joke or b. designed to make people try to dig for more information.

We call it Vaguebooking and it makes me insane! and my response to that is silence, either tell the story or I don't care. Probably I won't care anyway!

 

[okeydokey]

Did you ever read failbook.com? really funny.