Reserves about traveling with family?

[Rebecca Pearson]

I would go Disney is a big place, you could always meet for dinner and the rest of time go your separate ways. They should know that it isn't fair for everyone to come back for little one nap. Hope you have a wonderful time at disney world

 

[cel_disney]

Oh man - this is tough. I have done 2 trips with extended family and it's a mixed bag. I was the coordinator and the one with kids at the time.

On one hand - it was great and with the caveat that you don't have to be together always - it's doable. But on the other hand - I found that there were always 'oh, I wanted us to do that together' requests that popped up during the day that were hard to accommodate. Ironically - we were the ones with two kids under 5 (1 and 5!) and we were the commando park goers! No one else wanted to rope drop and it drove me NUTS! They wanted to be there when we rode dumbo - but only in the afternoon?!?! Ugh - this was before NFL and there was only one dumbo - I remember yelling 'its rope drop or bust people' more than once to my crew!!!

I think I would do it - but I would make sure I had some kid friendly meals mixed in and be sensitive to the meal time schedule... (I think many places are kid friendly - not just character meals! Just not super quiet calm places unless you are hoping to go in with a sleeping kid!)

 

[Masonmj84]

I personally do not like trips to WDW (or theme-park oriented trips in general) with extended family (of course if someone else is paying for it . . . ).

Everyone just has their own vacation style (for example, we are rope droppers who spend mornings in the parks and afternoons at the resort pool). Most of our extended family, however, tend to arrive after rope drop and then stay in the park all day (which, to me, is exhausting).

As others have noted, these types of trips usually work out much better if there's no expectation to be together all of the time (which, to me, is a recipe for disaster). But I've yet to go on one of these types of trips where someone didn't get their feathers ruffled.

For example, my sister once got mad at me at HS because we arrived at RD, picked up FPs for TSM, then rode TSM standby. They didn't arrive until about an hour after park opening, at which time all of the TSM FPs were gone for the day. She wanted us to give her family our TSM FPs because we'd already been on it once. I basically told her they should have arrived earlier. She responded that I was being a selfish jerk.

FWIW, I think extended family trips are better left for vacations like cruises or all-inclusive resorts, where there's not as much need to be on a strict schedule.

 

[jwolfpack]

I would go. I would schedule ADR's and some select FP+ (meeting Mickey for example) around the schedule of the baby, but set the expectation that you won't all stay together the rest of time.

We have traveled with little ones that age several times and have found that pre-park breakfasts (~8:00 am) or late breakfasts (~10:45 am) work best for us. You don't want to do mid-morning breakfasts and lose the short wait times in the parks. We seldom do lunch reservations as its not always predictable when that mid-day meltdown might happen. We also really like doing early dinners (4:00-5:00) when we are typically fresh from naps / rest in the room. Later dinners can set us up for failure if we're approaching what normal bedtime is at home. We'd much rather power through that evening meltdown with an ice cream cone on Main Street while we wait for the Electrical Parade than we would in a restaurant.

 

[DisneyFive]

Nope, doesn't sound like much fun to me. If you do go, I hope it goes well for you

Dan

 

[angierae]

When we did our big family trip, we agreed to start out the day together in the same park (we didn't have hoppers) and we had dinner ressies for all six of us every night. Other than that, we drifted apart and together throuhout the day depending on what various people were interested in doing. One morning DH slept in and met us at DHS for lunch, etc.

 

[ChloesDaddy]

or example, my sister once got mad at me at HS because we arrived at RD, picked up FPs for TSM, then rode TSM standby. They didn't arrive until about an hour after park opening, at which time all of the TSM FPs were gone for the day. She wanted us to give her family our TSM FPs because we'd already been on it once. I basically told her they should have arrived earlier. She responded that I was being a selfish jerk.

This is the kind of behavior that I fear would be inevitable with certain members of DW's family (mine wouldn't go in the first place). FP+ takes care of this specific issue, but the attitude that others should cater to their needs while they slack would manifest in other ways -- pick me up XYZ while you're at ABC, watch our kids while we go do this or that, etc. Nope.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

Yes, I would go. If your family wants you to make the plan, make it, but I would let them know they can bail whenever they need to and split up, go back to the resort, etc. And let them do it! Honestly, with a 19 month old, you really don't know how he is going to react in such a big, new, overstimulating space, so I think flexibility with that family is key. If they want their son to nap at the resort, let them. I think your plan of asking all to be there when your nephew meets Mickey and to have the TS's together is very reasonable. We did an extended family trip once and we spent most of the time together, but if a child became tired or overstimulated, one of the adults would simply take them back to the resort and do something quiet with them. We enjoyed our together time and our separate time. We did do meals, MK fireworks and MVMCP together.

 

[North of Mouse]

Yes! But with rules 'firmly' in place. Nephew meltdown timeouts would 'not' include me!! In fact, seems like you could spend lots of enjoyable time with your mom. Everyone needs time to split up and do their own thing, then just mainly meet for dining ressies, etc. Definitely would not commit to spending all the time together - would be a huge recipe for disaster!!!!

 

[Mikie]

IF your vacation time isn't so precious that you can't stand the thought of some days not being what you'd pick for your days off, and IF this isn't your one shot at Disney, I'd give it a whirl, warts and all.

1) your mom wants to share it with you (and PAY) and that doesn't happen every day
2) you are still the planner of the group, so you have some measure of control
3) not to be cheesy or maudlin, but my extended family trip of 12 people (which, of course, many DISers warned against) turned out much more magical than not. And despite the fact that my dad had been ill, made a fabulous recovery that was part of the reason for the trip, he took ill again about 9 months later and passed away last Christmas. I cannot express how thankful I am that we made the trip, weathered the bumps, and have those memories and photos to treasure.

Lots of good advice above for setting expectations. I'd try to et them to vote on ADRs, or at least give you parameters. If you can't squeeze in all your personal favorites, maybe you can do an extra table service without them one day. Caution about assuming character meals are best for kids - my nephew was TERRIFIED of characters at that age. Screamed and cried at the sight of Easter Bunny, Santa, story time characters at our museum. We did a couple character meals with him that the other kids wanted, and he did okay since we didn't make him get near them, but if we were going *just* for his benefit, it would have been a bust!

Definitely get the Memory Maker and take lots of photos together!

 

[Farps]

I would only do it if everyone knows that you may not be together the entire time. If some people do RD every day and some don't that's OK, that is what cell phones are for. If some people want to take a break and others don't that's alright too. People tour at different speeds you can just meet up later. Have a fantastic trip...

 

[Pesky]

I would simply ask about the 19 month old schedule and from what time to what time will they need to be in the room for naps and bedtime and what time the baby is awake (usually early so bonus there is RD shouldn't be a problem!). Then plan around that. They can go and you all can stay. I'd also make sure whether they can meet you for dinner or you should maybe consider separate reservations for dining.

 

[BayouQueen]

I have had a lot of bad experiences on Disney trips with problematic family members. If it were me...I would decide what I'm sacrificing by going. Will this use up all of my vacation time from work? Will I use all of my travel budget for airfare?

If I could go on the trip without giving up too much, then, sure, I'd go, and keep a good attitude to have the best time possible. But I wouldn't sacrifice too much to make this trip.

 

[johnsgrl]

I get it, and I am the Grandma paying for it all. I really want to see my first grandson's first trip..but DH and I are commando park people and I know the little guy won't be able to tolerate that. So I booked BLT for walking to MK, and I told the kids that there are certain things we will do together, and certain things we won't. They can come back to the resort for naps and pool time, and DH and I will do our commando stuff. We will meet for dinner and re-group after little guy is in bed at some point. We also offered to take him for a full day and night so they can have some adult time. We will take that day for some quality time and plan on either taking him to a park, or the boat over to FW for some fun. I may take him shopping too and ensure the kids need another suitcase. Personally, if my kids didn't want to go on the trip when I am paying because of our different needs, I would suggest they have their heads examined!

 

[msk]

I've done several family trips with children and grandchildren. We met up for most meals, my DH missed one because he had simply had enough fun and needed to be back in the quiet room for a break.
My DH and I are planning another one with my sister and her spouse this fall. The most important rule is if anyone wants to do something different, or go back to the hotel then please go! No feelings will be hurt and no questions asked. I'll be surprised if my DH and my sister in law don't go back to the resort and leave my sister and I alone to explore the parks

 

[scrapquitler]

My husband and I have been invited to go to WDW in November with my mom (59), brothers, sister-in-law (ages 30-33) and my nephew (will be 19 months during the trip).
They plan on staying at Coronado and getting the free dining plan. Only 2 days in the parks, plus the Christmas party one day. My mom is paying for the whole trip, we only have to buy our own plane ticket (that is not the problem!)
Our concerns are traveling with family who doesn't always get along when we are home. My mom and I are Disney freaks (with me knowing MUCH more than her) so I really want to go on the trip. My mom really wants me to go because of all the knowledge of WDW. Whether we go or not, I will be planning the whole trip for them (fastpasses, ADRs, etc..)
My bro and SIL are very strict with my nephew's schedule. They have already started asking questions like "How long will it take us to get back to the hotel when the baby has a meltdown?" I don't think they want him napping the the stroller in the parks.
I fear they will ruin my trip!


Any advice for traveling with family that could be complicated? Is the trip worth it knowing that a 19 month old (and his parents) could ruin it for us? (we would be staying in a room with my other brother, and we are ok with that, FYI.)

Sorry for the rant, any advice is welcome!
Thanks in advance!

Plan things for them the way they want to tour, plan things for you the way you want to tour. Plan something each day for you to do 'together' (like a meal and parade viewing) and spend the rest of the time doing your own thing. Problem solved, everyone happy.

 

[Eandbmom]

We did the extended family trip twice. Both times ended up with someone arguing and hurt feelings. we decided since we can only afford one vacation a year that it's just for the 4 of us. If we have funds for additional getaways then we can do something with extended family. But our time off is so limited we don't want to have to deal with hurt feelings.

 

[summerw]

Definitely ask what schedule would work best for your nephew in terms of sleep and meals and plan fp's and adr's around them, then understand when they can't always stick to even that. Having a 19-month old in the parks is way more effort than bringing just yourself and they will probably tire more easily than you.

Also be sure they have a good stroller with a plan to cover it in the rain and plan on lots of breaks for diaper changes and baby centers. Touring with a kid will be slower, but you can speed up once they crash early. The only way I can enjoy the parks with extended family is to accept that it will be at the inexperienced person's pace and go with it. I accept going in that efficiency will be out the window and just enjoy my family.

 

[agavegirl1]

I voted no. I would make an excuse and save myself the headache. I am not a fan of sullying my perceptions of WDW with those of relatives whose opinions may mess with my own.

 

[Nancyg56]

Thanks everyone for the quick replies! We definitely were not planning on leaving the parks when they leave. Since my mom is paying for the trip, I asked what she expected as far as everyone hanging out together. She said our 5 table service meals on the free dining plan should all be together and she wants everyone there when my nephew meets Mickey at MK.
Since the dining plan is what is most enticing to my husband and I (his favorite part of any vacation is the food) we will be trying new restaurants. I don't want this part ruined considering it is what we are looking forward to the most! (We don't have kids yet, so maybe this is just me worrying too much!)

I think you are over thinking both the questions about timeing here to there as well as woking about dinne with a toddler. I also wonder if you are worried that including a baby may mean compromise in regards to your dining preferences, and while that is not wrong, you need to decide if you can handle compromise on a family tip. Not everyone can, and if you will resent that it is best to pass the trip.

WE almost always travel as extended family and even though we never stay together the entire time, and I always make provisions for those who want to have dining time alone, Family meals have included compromise in regards to which ones we choose. You are only there for 5 meals, Mom has already told you this is the string attached to her purse, and this is the one thing you seem to be worried about.

If I were you, I would think long and hard before agreeing to join this trip because you and your DH may be the ones who are the "troublemakers" this time. As a grandparent we all planned our first trip back as extended family when my DGD was 4. We included my sister in law, who was a Disney Vet because she wanted to share Kady's first visit. It was not a disaster, but there was a huge mutiny by the time we got home. She knew the ropes, so to speak, but that was not how we wanted to roll. Her ingrained touring style was hers, but it was kind of rough on us. SOmetimes being the one who knows is not the best place to be.

IF your vacation time isn't so precious that you can't stand the thought of some days not being what you'd pick for your days off, and IF this isn't your one shot at Disney, I'd give it a whirl, warts and all.

1) your mom wants to share it with you (and PAY) and that doesn't happen every day
2) you are still the planner of the group, so you have some measure of control
3) not to be cheesy or maudlin, but my extended family trip of 12 people (which, of course, many DISers warned against) turned out much more magical than not. And despite the fact that my dad had been ill, made a fabulous recovery that was part of the reason for the trip, he took ill again about 9 months later and passed away last Christmas. I cannot express how thankful I am that we made the trip, weathered the bumps, and have those memories and photos to treasure.

Lots of good advice above for setting expectations. I'd try to et them to vote on ADRs, or at least give you parameters. If you can't squeeze in all your personal favorites, maybe you can do an extra table service without them one day. Caution about assuming character meals are best for kids - my nephew was TERRIFIED of characters at that age. Screamed and cried at the sight of Easter Bunny, Santa, story time characters at our museum. We did a couple character meals with him that the other kids wanted, and he did okay since we didn't make him get near them, but if we were going *just* for his benefit, it would have been a bust!

Definitely get the Memory Maker and take lots of photos together!

All of this! Family trips are not the same as extended family trips. Good advise about those character meals! You never know if they are the best choice for your kids, until you get there. I love them but we make sure thee is a mix, because they are not relaxing. Not for Mom and Dad. Not for the kids. Fun? Yes they can be. Restful? Not in my experience.