relatives want to pool hop to our hotel...help!

[debm]

OK--I need my Disboard friends to help me. My DH and our kids are checking into the GF on Sunday. We used our DVC points to pay for room because we could not afford this! Anyhow, relatives living close by booked one night at the ASM and have *told* us that they are coming over early that day, Tuesday, so that they can use our "plush pool and accomodations" while we are in the park. They have asked my DH to leave key for them at the front desk so they can change in our room. uuuuugh. I don't feel comfortable with this at all. How can we get out of it without saying no?? Must understand these are my DHs parents and he won't tell them no even though he doesn't want them to. I feel really awkward. One problem is we are afraid she will smoke in our room or out on the balcony---we can probably tell her not to do that but....I really dont want this situation to happen at all. It is not supposed to happen and I don't feel comfortable. Anyone have any ideas for me other than just flat out saying no? They will probably disown us if we say it though. Can you tell we are still the 37 year old *children*?? Thanks!!

 

[eeyore45]

Memory loss!! Just "forget" to do it,

if you have to, ask the front desk for help - why not let the CM's be the 'bad guys" ask them, what if my "in laws" come and want to smoke in our non smoking room?? What if.... can YOU tell them 'no' ??

and I would get out of there very early Tues, and just not return "forget" to turn on your cell phones.... run, run, run....

edited to add...

the best thing you truly can do, is to communicate with your dh. Tell him how you feel, if you can, maybe each of you write a letter to each other, just spend 10 minutes writing your "feelings" on this letter, then exchange letters, then discuss...

For us, I'll never forget the turning point in our marriage, when dh chose "us" over his mom... dh made the difficult descion bk (before kids!) that "we" needed to set up "our" house, and he broke away from his mom, and "her" rules and demands...

 

[NCombs]

I don't think the CM's would even give them a key anyway so I would tell them that. I doubt they would give a key to someone not registered to the room.

 

[agnes!]

Honestly, what would be so bad about being disowned by these people?
Did that statement sound cold? Maybe, but think about it...are they bringing anything positive to the relationship? I'm sure there's more to this story, this couldn't be the first time these people have pulled this type of stunt.
Oh, wait...I'm sure I'm mistaken..they've always treated their son & his wife & your children with the utmost respect.
Right ?

I'm with eeyore 45...maybe forget to do it. Don't leave a room key *anywhere*, don't tell them what park you'll be in, don't turn your cell phones on. And have you thought about changing your reservation? ...
And NCombs had good advice...tell them the resort won't do it.

Sometimes jerks take advantage of decent people, precisely because they *are* decent. And I am sure that you and your husband *are* decent, charitable folks...but that shoudn't give others (who apparently *aren't* decent) a license to run roughshod over your life together.

If they cause trouble in your room, like smoking where they shouldn't or causing some other problems at the resort, who will end up footing the bill? Will they make it right?
I doubt it.

What's the worst that could happen if your DH(It can't be *you*.) says the dreaded two letter word to his parents "NO."?...
I mean it. Imagine the worst that you think could happen - can you and your husband live with that?

Don't let them rob your family of your joy in being together. try to have a good time together. I can't imagine what your family is going through. It is easy for me to give advice from afar, but the stress must be horrific.

agnes!
PS - If it's alright, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And here's heaps of pixie dust !

 

[Ilovestitch]

Maybe you could tell them that you heard the resort really frowns upon that... maybe they could meet you in the parks or at the resort for a nice lunch instead ?

 

[poohkinandpiglet]

I would probably be so excited about getting to the park early that I'd forget to leave the key.

 

[Zip-a-dee-dude-da]

OH for goodness sakes they are your parents...leave a key and let them enjoy the pool. You paid a kings ransom to stay at that joint let them enjoy it...Dont be such a stickler and just ask your MIL not to smoke in the room. If you cant ask her that simple request its your problem not hers

 

[goofy4tink]

Oh, but of course, surely you've forgotten that you all need to have your room keys, just in case you should be asked for proof of residency when you try for EMH that day??!! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) You really shouldn't leave them behind in your room. I mean, what happens if you should need them to charge something in the parks?

Sorry, but if the 'family' gets perturbed that's their problem. You paid for the room...maybe they would like to pay for their one day stay there? Then maybe I would let them have a room key.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

i would say you need you key for park entry but also as they are NOT on your reservation i dont think DISNEY will give them your room key

 

[pklein09]

I've got inlaws like that...I'm sure we could compare stories!!! I also know how it will go when they have to be told that our plans don't coincide with theirs, and God forbid we tell them "no" outright. UGH!!!

Can you call the GF and see if they have a changing area by the pool? Or at least a large bathroom nearby? I know VWL has a nice sized bathroom not far from the pool we used to change on the day of check-out.

Even if you leave the key at the front desk for them to pick up, CMs will probably know it's a key in the envelope. I don't think they'll be pleased that you're giving your key to someone else.

On a separate note, I remember reading on another thread that someone had to check in at the GF (I forget the reason, but that's where she went....) She was thrilled at "having" to say at the GF. However, the room was small - so small that she wished she had taken a Studio somewhere else. She was happy to have stayed at the GF, but not at all impressed with the room. So much for "plush" accommodation.

I don't envy you in your position because it doesn't matter what you do, it won't please the inlaws. In the end, I would "forget" to leave the key and let the CMs take the heat when the can't find the envelope.

Best of Luck and wishing you lots of Pixie Dust to get you through.

--Michelle

 

[stemikger]

In laws - you gotta love em. My inlaws do some inappropriate things like that. It drives me nuts. Me and my wife have had so many fights about them. The older they get the worse they are getting.

At this stage of your life you should just take the bull by the horns and say - that they can't pool hop period. No explanation is needed. Tell them it is not allowed and they can't do it. If they want to act inappropriately - then you should not worry about them getting upset.

I used to get myself sick trying to make my inlaws happy. I wanted them to like me so bad. The harder I tried - the more they took advantage of me. Then I started to realize. It is them who are acting inappropraite, why should I try to bend over backwards to please them. The day I got that straight - their behavior wasn't as bad, because it didn't effect me the same way. I know it's hard (because by nature I'm a people pleaser and want everyone to like me), but you really got to let them know - that there are boundaries and they need to respect them. Good Luck

 

[3lilprincesses]

first off, we love GF! the rooms are great. very spacious! DD's loved the zero entry pool. have an awesome time there!!!

i have my own set of in-law issues. i swept it under the rug for years. just ignored, smiled, and tried to not make waves. BUT after we had first DD, i couldn't take it anymore. DH wasn't doing much about it until he lost his cool one day. we both ended up telling them how we felt, and let them know if they didn't like it, and if they didn't start showing me the respect that i deserved as the wife of their son, and mother of their only grandchild, then they could just not come around anymore...not pretty! i wish we hadn't let it get to that point. BUT 9 years later, we are all so much better off for it. you're adults. just tell them Disney doesn't allow pool hopping and that you don't think they would give them a key anyway. what's the worst that can REALLY happen?

and if all else fails, then i agree, JUST FORGET TO LEAVE THE KEY!!

good luck!

 

[TammiMcMan]

Okay, maybe I am reading this wrong, but your DH's parents are coming to visit for one day and instead of trying to plan some time together with him, they only want to use the GF pool? Or were you simply park hopping in the morning and meeting up with them later in the day? I really couldn't tell from your post. If your park passes are coded into your room keys, you're going to need them. If you have room charge on your room keys, you're going to need them. (If you don't, I would say that you do for sake of argument).

I'm probably going to be spending some time in purgatory for this, but we have family in Florida and there have been a number of vacations where we didn't even tell them we were in the same state. For avoiding those uncomfortable phone calls, I find that the caller ID on my home phone and the one on my cell phone are priceless .

If you want a solution handled with kids gloves, I would simply let them know that first of all, you can't leave your room key because you need them to get into the parks, but you will check at the front desk when you arrive and ask them about having guests. If they're planning on driving over, they will need to have their name on the list at the security gate, or else they'll only be permitted a 3 hour pass. I don't think that the front desk will have any problem with you having two guests and unless they are on your reservation, the front desk should definitely not be giving them a room key. As for bathrooms by the pool, they have some really nice ones, complete with showers and changing areas. If you did make plans to try and hook up for lunch or dinner, then just pick a time to meet at your specified restaurant, or just grab some Gasparillas and eat around the pool with them.

Tammi

 

[TurnR@TheMouseHouse]

"We have thought about it and we are not comfortable with it. Disney has made their policy very clear about guests from other resorts using other resort pools and it is something we would be concerned about all day. We also are not comfortable not having our room keys with us for the day."

I'm not sure how old your kids are. But if they are old enough to understand "rules", you might add that your children understand the Disney policy and "WE" would not be setting a very good example for them.

I don't recommend telling some lie. They'll just find ways around that too. Just step up to the plate and be a grown up and be good role models for you children.

 

[tlbwriter]

Won't you need your room key to get into the park? And if you don't, do they know that?

You could tell them you called a GF CM and asked for the best way to do this, and you were *shocked* to discover that pool hopping is not allowed! Who knew? How frustrating! So of course they'll understand that you can't do anything that could get them *and* you kicked out of your resorts!

 

[WDWendy]

I just wanted to offer some sympathy. It would have been one thing if you offered to have them visit, but pushy of them to just announce that they will be using your hotel pool and need your room key. Like most family situations you'll have to decide if saying no is worth the inevitable fall-out.

 

[tekmom]

I would just tell them "I'm sorry , but no". It's hard but they should understand.

 

[leighe]

Hugs to you. It's easy for us to tell you "Just tell them no," but that's always so much easier said than done, especially with close family like in-laws. I'd work on DH and try to get him to explain it to them - then I would "forget" to leave the key.

 

[debbiedoo]

I am surprised that no one has mentioned this!! You CAN NOT POOL HOP!! DVC members can---but NOT to SAB and AKL.

I would state the rules. I agree with some of the other poster--it sounds like to me that this is not the first RODEO with them!! If you do not take a stand and be yourself then you wil have more issues down the road.

Trust me, I do not have the greatest in-laws, and I do not let them me over--my DH stands behind me--we married each other--not the families!!

State you issues straight-forward, and let it go--and no she will not be happy--but she will GET OVER IT!!

Ok-- that's my 2 cents. . . .

 

[tlbwriter]

I am surprised that no one has mentioned this!! You CAN NOT POOL HOP!!

Actually, several of us DID mention that. Sadly, that argument just isn't going to work with some people, so it's good to have another option.