Relatives! I tell ya...

[Lesley]

Every time I read one of these "my relatives invited themselves" posts I thank heavens that none of my relatives would ever do that and laugh about how that certainly would not get far with me. Then my dh related to me his recent conversation with his brother....

Apparently the subject had turned to our then upcoming trip to WDW (which was last week) and our DVC or whatever. BIL then expresses "we'd love to come stay at your place sometime" Dh mentions that bil and his fiancee would be welcome to join us at HH for Thanksgiving next year...to which he gets the response that "they" (bil and fiancee) want to come to WDW and bring the kids and grandkids on our points. These are his fiancee's grown children who are older than us and their kids! 7 or 8 people who we have never even met! LOL My dh just laughed and let his brother know that we definitely don't have enough points for that....I mean, we have 200 and we're a family of 5 ourselves!

But geesh....my bil has only met our 4yo dd two or three times in her entire life, never calls, and has never followed through on any offer of help to his brother (my dh)...and his fiancee actually turned us away from their home after my fil's memorial service....but we're supposed to give them the use of our DVC? NOT!

Personally I'm not even thrilled at dh making the offer for Thanksgiving.... but as they probably can't afford to get themselves to Hilton Head it's most likely not an issue. We have discussed bringing guests in the event that we can't get a 1br and end up taking a 2br, which is really too big for our needs....which I'm sure is where my dh got that idea, though I had my parents or possibly his sister in mind...not his brother who normally can't be bothered with us.

Anyway...it just bugged me to hear this and I knew folks here could relate. And here I'd always thought I'd never encounter this! LOL!

 

[rocketriter]

Ah, yes. There's no "one size fits all" policy for handling (and charging) relatives who want to come on points--except for the universal advice to make sure people understand what your policy is right from the get-go. Everybody has to make their own call, and the only "right" answer is the one that works out right for your family.

It does sound like you have things pretty much under control.

 

[wdwstar]

when your BIL mentions about staying on your points you could always smile and say, our points are booked from now until 5years from now, that is why we invested our money into DVC to make our vacations alittle more affordable for OUR family vacations, sorry, but i hear the all star resorts are very nice and reasonable, maybe you should look into staying there.

 

[Disneyaholic]

when your BIL mentions about staying on your points you could always smile and say, our points are booked from now until 5years from now, that is why we invested our money into DVC to make our vacations alittle more affordable for OUR family vacations, sorry, but i hear the all star resorts are very nice and reasonable, maybe you should look into staying there.

And you could use the same strategy for HH at Thanksgiving, too. You only have enough points for a 1BR (which DH could not POSSIBLY have known about... ) but you understand that there are often some very attractive cash rates at HH at that time of year, if they'd like to book their own 2BR!

 

[kathleena]

Wow - I can hardly count all the red flags in your post! I would stay away from this kind of trip for sure!

 

[dianeschlicht]

Yep, STAY AWAY from anyone who presumes to invite themselves! If you invite, that is one thing, but when they invite themselves, it can only spell trouble!

 

[pumpkinboy]

Wow, Lesley, that sounds like a very uncomfortable situation waiting to happen. Perhaps best to have them rent their own lodgings at WDW is they should ever come down with you. That might be a fun trip, and it might give BIL a chance to get to know some of his nieces and nephews better.

I guess I am fortunate that tho some family members can be presumtuous (eg my sister), those members don't have much interest in going to WDW. Interestingly, my BIL (DSis' hubby) jokingly invited his 9 yr old DD to join us on vacation at WDW sometime, since she had complained that she was tired of the strenuous multi day hiking trips, interspersed with ruins, cathedrals and museums that typify her family's vacations. She would much prefer to stay in a nice hotel, with a nice pool, and to stay in one place for a while, like we do; being at WDW is also very attractive to her.
Once we considered it for a few months I came around to the idea that it actually might be really nice to have my niece along, especially for my 5 yr old DD who idolizes her "big girl cousin". Finally this fall I convinced DW that it was her idea, so we are giving this niece a WDW trip with us for her 10th birthday; she'll be joining us at AKL then BWV for a 7 day stay (but she doesn't know it yet).

We'd love to have my DB and his wife join us some time, but have not managed to convince them to come (even with the offer of free lodging). Maybe when they get sick of the Maine winter with a newborn (due 6/05), they'll come around, so I can have an excuse to get a GV at BWV finally.

I don't think I'll charge anyone in my family tho. My parents financed some of our points, so bringing them along for free is just the right thing to do. DB is doing "Good Works", being a high school art teacher, so DW & I probably bring in three times what DB & spouse do, so treating them is also the right thing to do (plus they're so much fun anyway, and they help a lot with the kids). I don't think we could stand vacationing with BIL (DSis' hubby) so that's just not gonna happen. And DW's idiot brother is so self-absorbed, he doesn't have any idea of what we do for vacation, and is at no risk of sparking any interest, and that's fine. We don't charge friends who we invite along with us, as they can simply cover some meals, or spend money on our children and it'll all even out in the end.

 

[Johnnie Fedora]

Wow - I can hardly count all the red flags in your post! I would stay away from this kind of trip for sure!

ITA!! Trips with the wrong mix of family can be very stressful!!

 

[MDonley]

Let's see .... A family of five ... plus 7 or 8 additional people ... must be looking at a GV (or an opportunity to start another occupancy thread ).

Seroiusly, the world is full of "givers" and "takers". If you're they type that is a "giver", be sure to maintain the upper hand and only give to those that will graceously accept instead of "take". [The voice of experience speaking:] It sometimes turns out that if you allow your family to take advantage of your kindness, and they don't have a magical experience, everything may be all your fault. The only thing they'll "give" you is ... the responsibility to see that they have a good time.

Only invite people on your terms!