Relationship w a pretty big age difference...

[dyna]

Ok so it was not dating being so young an seeing someone in his 40's. Maybe it was not right but I knew what we was doing and he did take precations. Yes we partied together
yes he gave me alcohol but in limited controled amounts had I been out with kids closer to my age of age or not chances are my intake would have been how ever much I wanted or I would have been encouraged to consume more than I wanted.

Sad but true the man never asked me to do anything for him that I had not been doing from the time I can remember. Even sadder no one ever believed me when I told not even police or probation officers.

 

[Pumbaa_]

Dyna, anyway you slice it, he took adavantage of you. 13 is not old enough to consent to anything. Esp with an experienced man

sorry that happened to you and that no one was looking out for your safety

 

[TandT]

My husband and I are 13 years apart. I was 26 and he was 39 when we met. Nine years later we are still together and HAPPILLY married!!

 

[marcemc]

I'm 35 & DH is 55. We have been married for over 9 years & have 2 beautiful sons together (either one of us had children before). I always dated older guys and no, I don't have any "daddy issues".

I would say the most important thing in EVERY relationship (age gap or not) is to make sure that you both hold marriage and family as a priority.

Is you start feeling serious about him, you need to know if you are on the same boat when it comes down to having children, pets, etc, it's important to know expectations & dreams of both

Every couple is different & unique, that's the beauty of love. Good luck

 

[Shmily1]

I think the 14 year age difference which seems really exciting at 20-something is going to be a real drag at 40-something.

Think about being 40 and young an full of life and being married to a man who is 54 and therefore seriously preparing for retirement.
My brother's brother-in-law (wife's brother) was 42 and married a 24 year old woman. They were divorced in 2 years due to the age difference. She was just starting life and he was in mid-life and thinking about his "second act"...post retirement years. She wanted a baby and he didn't want to be paying for college just as he was reaching retirement age. He got tired of being her "daddy"...being the older man having to show her the ropes and he got tired of dealing with her immaturity.

I'm 49. There's no way I'd want to be dealing with the issues of a 62 or 63 year old man.

I'm 43 and DH is 64 and could have already retired if he wanted to. We've been together for 19 years (15 1/2 of those married) and can't see your point of being full of life. Just being 54 doesn't mean he can't be full of life. My DH acts more full of life than most 30 year olds I know. I try to talk him into retiring so he can have fun but he wants to keep working because he loves what he's doing. As long as he's happy with it, I'm happy with it.

 

[SC Minnie]

I'm 43 and DH is 64 and could have already retired if he wanted to. We've been together for 19 years (15 1/2 of those married) and can't see your point of being full of life. Just being 54 doesn't mean he can't be full of life. My DH acts more full of life than most 30 year olds I know. I try to talk him into retiring so he can have fun but he wants to keep working because he loves what he's doing. As long as he's happy with it, I'm happy with it.

ITA.

I am 43 and DH is 57. We are both planning to work fulltime for another 10 years. When he retires I plan on either retiring, working part time, or doing something less stressful. DH gets tired and so do I . DH still rides the roller coasters with DD over and over. I can't ride something more than once- gives me a headache. DH doesn't act like a typical 57 yo. Yes, I will probably have to take care of him in his old age but there are no guarantees that I will outlive him. My grandmother was 10 yrs younger than my grandfather and she died first. He lived another 5 years. We are enjoying life together. I have abosultely no regrets chosing the partner I did.

 

[IdesOmarch]

But you did persue her......

How are you handling the child? Inquiring minds wish to know how everything went. After all, you did start a thread on this.

Appreciate your interest, you've probably noticed i've chilled out on that on here. My lifestyle is probably TMI or too cutting edge for these peeps, everyone always seems to be so offended if your lifestyle isn't the super traditional one. Lets just say so far so good on everything. No I didn't "pursue" the 25 year old, just asked her a couple of questions enough to see what she was up to, to discover she was just overly overly friendly, in a weird kind of way. The new 29 year old GF is awesome, very mature, very level headed. It may work out, we are on the same wave length on just about everything, especially where it counts.

 

[lillygator]

dh and I are 10 years apart...and I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else!! Glad things are working out for you!

 

[Bungle]

My husband and I are 11 years apart and very happy. It's not always easy (other peoples opinions, stages of life, etc) but if you love him it will work out.

 

[disneydee6]

seems alot of people here have VERY different opinions on the subject lol. When I first started seeing him, the age difference worried me (obviously since I wrote on the boards for some advice and opinions). Now that it has been nearly a year and a half, it isn't a real big problem for us because we enjoy each others company and don't focus on the problems that our relationship may have or may face in the future.
This may just be me being young, but issues like marriage, kids, etc are far from mind right now. I know those are hurdles that our relationship will eventually face, but for now I am enjoying a relationship with a man I like. And btw, he is not my boss, I don't have Daddy issues, he didn't act like a predator, I pursued him actually. This relationship was really just two people who happened to get along, have chemistry, but have a big age difference. Like I've said before, everyone is entitled to their opinion about this topic, but let's play nice!

 

[kayrosek]

Well my age difference with my husband is less than some here, but we do have a difference. He turned 40 this year. I am thirty three. We've been married 9 years and I wouldn't have it any other way. DH weren't interested in younger women at all when he met me. He was finally ready for a more serious relationship and not interested in the college party scene, but I wasn't your typical younger woman. I had three kids, one of them special needs, was a caretaker for my elderly great grandmother who raised me from birth and in a lot of ways had been on my own since I was a teenager. Now I do understand worries about health and a spouse dying before you but that can happen at any age. DH is 40 but medically retired from the military and a 100% disabled. It started with injuries but he had a lot of complications after the fact and now he has the old injuries plus lots of health issues. I'm already his caregiver but I love him and am glad I can be here for him. He's had a few very close calls and we know nothing about this life is certain so we take advantage of the moments we do have.

 

[YodaGirl]

It's not like you guys are 16 and 32.

I agree with what some have already said - I don't think that it's a big deal.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I dated a man who was seventeen years older than me for five years before finally breaking up with him because of his inability to commit (and my moving to Colorado from Florida.) My fiance (will be my husband in eight days, not that I'm counting) is only four years older than me. However, he is more mature than the guy who was seventeen years older. Maturity matters more than age.

 

[SingleFather]

I am 43 and my DCL working girlfriend is 23. We are not getting married, but we having fun. I get to cruise with her in February! Woo Hoo!

 

[dngnb8]

While I am glad things are working out, youre not in the age bracket of trouble.

He is still young.

Issues dont usually arise at this time. The issues arise when your in your late 30's and he is in his mid 50's. They seem to magnify when youre in your mid to late 40s and he is in his 60's.

Yes, right now, its age is not an issue. That doesnt mean it wont become one.

Thought this was worth quoting for perspective