Rehearsal dinner question

[phorsenuf]

DS is getting married on the 30th of this month. I know it is customary to have the rehearsal dinner the night before. My question is who do we invite?
I was thinking the bride, groom (of course), MOH, best man, bridesmaid (just 1), Usher (1) and the parents of the wedding couple.
Do we need to invite grandparents too?

I'm starting to flounder here........LOL

**For those who do not know, DS is currently in Afghanistan, the bride to be (and her entire family) lives in Germany. They will both be arrivng 2 weeks before the wedding. I've been making all the arrangements and doing ok. I think tho I am starting to stress some tho because we are getting down to all those little details like favors and such. I don't know what to do! LOL **

 

[tar heel]

I think the wedding party is essential, but beyond that, it's up to you. I personally can't imagine not inviting grandparents, but it's really up to you. My rehearsal dinner was a big party with the wedding party plus all the out-of-town relatives and a number of close friends. I'm sure it cost more than the reception. My in-laws didn't foot the whole bill, though. In their circle, a group of friends always did the rehearsal dinners for each other's children.

 

[froglady]

Grandparents are generally invited, if their health permits. Also,distant out of town guests who have paid for transportation and accomodations should be invited.

 

[ssleblanc]

I think our rehearsal dinner was overkill, but I think my MIL was also just trying to impress as many people as she could.

New Orleans weddings can be just huge long overblown weekend long parties - so I don't know if this is the same in other parts of the country.

Here, at a minimum you would have:
- bridal bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girl/ring bearer, anyone with a speaking or singing part in the ceremony that is a friend/family member, not a hired performer ... and all of their spouses/dates - and the flower girl/ring bearer parents
- mother/father of the bride and groom
- grand parents of the bride and groom
- siblings of the bride & groom

Ours also included:
- all neices & nephews (I've got 16 of them - though not all were born when I was married, a wedding in the family now would include all of them)
- close family members (aunts/uncles/etc) from out of town
- very close family friends from out of town

I swear I think our rehearsal dinner had about 70 people. Like I said, I think it was OVER overkill! We only had about 450 at the wedding. My husband is one of 5 kids and all but one were married, and had kids. Just an "immediate family" get together with us is a minimum of 25 people.

 

[ChrizJen]

First Congratulations to you and your son!!!

Traditionally, the bride, groom and both sets of parents and grandparents attend, as do any siblings and their partners or spouses. The officiant and his or her spouse are invited, as are the wedding party members (the flower girl gets invited with her parents). The basic rule is this: anyone who needs to be at the rehearsal should also be invited to the dinner that follows (people who'll be doing readings, etc.).
Also, individuals in the wedding are usually allowed to bring a partner or spouse to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner.
HTH!
Good Luck!
-Christal

 

[phorsenuf]

Ok, so the wedding party, parents and siblings of bride and groom, attendants and grandparents. There will be 1 of of town aunt so I guess we should invite her too?
We are pretty much a laid back kind of family so proper wedding ettiquette isn't really our thing LOL
They are going to be getting remaried in Germany for her side of the family with all the bells and whistles. I still want to throw a nice wedding for them though.

I eloped so I'm kinda out of my element here! LOL

 

[tw1nsmom]

I'm pretty sure etiquette calls for inviting all out of town guests, in addition to the wedding party and immediate family members to the rehearsal dinner.

I personally like low key rehearsal dinners. We had a barbeque at a state park. We figured that one formal dinner was enough. Everyone had a blast! A friend of mine had their rehearsal at their favorite chinese restaurant. It was really inexpensive and everyone was able to relax and have fun.

 

[phorsenuf]

I'm pretty sure etiquette calls for inviting all out of town guests, in addition to the wedding party and immediate family members to the rehearsal dinner.

I personally like low key rehearsal dinners. We had a barbeque at a state park. We figured that one formal dinner was enough. Everyone had a blast! A friend of mine had their rehearsal at their favorite chinese restaurant. It was really inexpensive and everyone was able to relax and have fun.

I was just thinking low key too, like all going to olive garden or something. My Ds likes this place so I thought it would work well.

 

[twojo21]

congratulations!

typically parents of the bride & groom, siblings, officiant/pastor and the wedding party, the maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, ushers, ring bearer & flower girl and their parents, readers and spouses of the wedding party are invited to the rehearsal dinner. anything after that is up to the couple or whos hosting the dinner. some include grandparents & out of town guests.

we were married in march & at our rehearsal dinner was us, our parents, maid of honor & her husband, bestman, usher & readers. we didnt have a rb or fg. if you need any other advise or ideas just post.

you can also look for advise on the dis wedding & honeymoon forum. best of luck with all the planning!

 

[ssleblanc]

I love love LOVE the idea of low key. Maybe because mine was so far over the top. A bbq or favorite restaurant is a great idea.

(in case you're interested - and you probably aren't I have pictures online of ours: http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL18/604680/1755605/36860081.jpg
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL18/604680/1755605/36860060.jpg
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL18/604680/1755605/36860049.jpg
ALL of the people in all of the pictures were at the dinner - we had the whole room of this restaurant to ourselves)

 

[Cindy's Mom]

If you think there will be serious drinking I would have the rehersal dinner 2 nights before the wedding. I know that was the case with our group of friends and family. We went to our favorite local Mexican restaurant; had the place to ourselves, need I say more?

 

[goodeats]

We invited wedding party (including dates), and the immediate family of our parents that were in town (i.e. our aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents).

We don't have very large families so it worked out well. We had a catered BBQ in a park.

 

[Rhonda]

Our DS got married a couple of months ago. We reserved the back room of Olive Garden. It was wonderful! They have special menus for groups like this, that include appetizers, n/a drinks, and desserts, and gratuity. We had them bring out a couple of different wines for each table.

We had both sets of parents, bride's brother (groom is an only child), wedding party (8) and their significant others (but not kids), and groom's grandparents (bride's grandparents live in Germany and were not able to come over here). 23 total.

 

[golfgal]

We invited everyone that was at the rehearsal and any spouse/SO. We did not include any out of town guests since that was taken care of at the wedding (pretty much EVERYONE was from out of town).

 

[CEDmom]

I always thought it was the wedding party, the couple's immediate family and any out of town guests.

 

[kellyg403]

When DS got married 2 years ago we invited all members of the wedding party, family and any out of town guests that had started to arrive. We had about 50 total with children included. There was a glitch about two weeks before the wedding and the rehearsal was not being held until about 8 the night before. I was worried about it being late. We have a small Country Club here where my son plays golf with his grandfather and my brothers. They were able to throw together a really really nice brunch for us instead of a rehearsal "dinner". It actually turned out great for us, the kids were able to get to bed on time, all us older folks were able to get together and have some time before the wedding day and overall I thought a nice relaxing day before the nerves of the next day hit us.

Kelly

 

[Poohnatic]

Usually it's wedding party, family of bride and groom and out of town guests.

First wedding, we just had a huge party at our house. Everybody was from out of town. It was casual and lots of fun.

Second wedding, we went to a local restaurant with all the out of town friends. Parents didn't want to come-they were conserving energy for the next day, lol.

Suzanne

 

[Chris2597]

Who is invited to the Rehearsal Dinner
Q. My fiancé says we are required to invite all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner. I say we’re not. Who is right?

A. The guest list for the rehearsal dinner traditionally consists of the bride and groom, all attendants and their spouses or partners, the couple’s immediate families (brothers, sisters, grandparents) and the officiant and spouse. It is an intimate affair for the wedding party and immediate family and not a repeat of the guest list for the reception. It is a nice gesture to include out-of-towners if your budget allows, but it is by no means a must. Discuss the situation with your fiancé. Perhaps the guests who are coming from a distance can meet up informally at a nearby restaurant.

This is from an article on wedding ettiquite

 

[Rhonda]

The out-of-town guests for my son's wedding came with to the rehearsal dinner (at Olive Garden) at the last minute, but they paid for themselves (at their own suggestion).

 

[barkley]

since our wedding and reception were at the same site (church had an adjacent fellowship hall) and we were responsible for doing the set-up the night before we did the rehearsal and then went to the fellowship hall and had food we prepared and brought in. anyone who attended the rehearsal was welcome to join us. after everyone was done eating those that wished to stayed on to help us do set up, those that did'nt went on thier way (and some were happy to have the option not to stay and eat-they had stuff they needed to attend to or kids at home and wanted an early evening).