Redneck Wedding

[dawgsgirl]

Hi--
Since everyone is so stressed out, I thought I would entertain you with the details of a wedding I attended over the weekend. The groom's name is Buster--I kid you not! The event took place under a large shed a little ways down a dirt track off the paved road. The shed was a tin roof held up with posts. It was decorated with twinkly Christmas lights and candles. Various tables and chairs were provided for the guests. There were approximately 350-400 guests, dressed in casual attire. A small white canopy tent was erected at the front of the shed and decorated with flowers, etc., to serve as the wedding altar. Things started off with a bang!! Buster came flying down the dirt track driving a shiny green John Deere tractor in his fancy black tux with a cowboy hat and boots. The music was "She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy" or whatever that country song is. (I am not up to date on the country music scene.) The bride arrived in a horse drawn buggy. Now, she really looked regal and was apparently not buying into this redneck wedding!! The vows were traditional, performed by a preacher, and included scripture and all of us reciting the Lord's Prayer. Immediately after the ceremony, all the guests were treated to good ole Southern BBQ and stew with all the fixings! YUM!! I am sure there were some good times to be had that night, but alas, I had my elderly mother with me and we had to leave right after supper. Anyway, I thought this little story might lighten things up some on the DIS. Thanks for reading!

 

[HTH]

If you divorce your wife in Kentucky, she is still your sister

 

[Sparx]

 

[antkim]

Thanks I needed that!

 

[Aurora63]

BBQ and a white wedding dress just don't mix!

 

[stinkerbelle]

What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

"hey ya'll...watch this!"

heheh

 

[arminnie]

I went to a cowboy wedding once where the bride had a HUGE formal picture of herself in her wedding dress (not too unusual) with her HORSE.

 

[MNSusan]

A few years ago, I attended a *different* wedding. It was held in a florists shop in rural Wisconsin. REALLY!! The bridesmaids came in the front door, walked through the shop and ended up in this little room decorated with FAKE flowers. Then the groomsmen did the same thing. The bride and groom entered together. The groomsmen all wore black jeans, black shirts with those little slide ties (I don't remember what they're called) and black cowboy hats. The bridesmaids had gingham dresses, cowboy boots and their hair french braided. The bride wore a white country-styled dress, dropped hem, etc. and white cowboy boots and hat. The groom was dressed like the groomsmen but had on a white shirt. After the very brief vows, they walked out of the shop to, I kid you not, "Another One Bites The Dust," played on a CD player.

The reception was held in a bar and there was fried chicken, beans, dusty buns, and yes, green jello topped with Cool Whip. And Budweiser, of course.

Here's the thing, though.... it was probably the one wedding I've been to where the bride wasn't nervous about everything being perfect, the groom was relaxed and happy and their love was evident in the way they looked at each other, talked to their guests together, and two-stepped around the bar.

 

[CherCrazy]

If you divorce your wife in Kentucky, she is still your sister

 

[Regina]

I went to a wedding where the reception was in the back of a bar. They called the tables up to the "buffet." By the time our table got called, all of the good cold cuts were gone. You could see into the kitchen where some guy was slicing bologna fast and furiously. Yum, nothing says "wedding" like a bologna sandwich.

What an elegant affair it was.

 

[Cantw8]

My in-laws invited us to this wedding, I can't describe the relationship because the branches on the family tree are few and far between. Anywho, it was a cousin twice removed marrying a sister of a neighbor....you get it. So, the groom had just been promoted at work and received a new company car. He was so proud of this accomplishment that he had to have it in his wedding. Are you ready?...... It was a shiny, new garbage truck and he and his bride rode to the church in it True story, I swear

 

[disykat]

I must be weird, because,other than the tractor, I don't get what's funny. It sounds like a wonderful wedding that they personalized to fit them.

 

[Aidensmom]

I must be weird, because,other than the tractor, I don't get what's funny. It sounds like a wonderful wedding that they personalized to fit them.

Same here .

I had a "redneck" wedding too, and I would bet it was more fun that weddings most people have been too. And to top it off, I was 7 months pregnant.

To each their own.

 

[dawgsgirl]

I must be weird, because,other than the tractor, I don't get what's funny. It sounds like a wonderful wedding that they personalized to fit them.

I thought it was a wonderful wedding too. As I stated in my original post--I was only trying to lighten the subject matter on the DIS and give everyone something else to think about besides death and destruction.

 

[Sugardimples]

I attended a wedding recently where the Father of the Bride wore a T-shirt with a picture of a squirrel on it and the caption "Protect Your Nuts". (I'm not kidding - he really did wear this T-shirt to his daughter's wedding!)

 

[PixieDust32]

I attended a wedding recently where the Father of the Bride wore a T-shirt with a picture of a squirrel on it and the caption "Protect Your Nuts". (I'm not kidding - he really did wear this T-shirt to his daughter's wedding!)

LOL!!!

 

[hucifer]

What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

"hey ya'll...watch this!"

heheh

 

[Daxx]

Not a red-neck wedding ... but a wedding from hell ...

My boyfriend, at that time, took me to his good friend's wedding. I had met this couple before and the woman was a real beotch. Had to have her way at everything (where we went to eat, what we did after, etc.). And, very, very competetive.

So, b/c I had to work, I couldn't go to the ceremony and I headed right for home, changed and went to the reception. I wore a pretty dress and had my hair tied up in back and caught in a snood (a net that you clip in back that holds your hair in place - very 1940's - click on link to see one -- mine was black). Anyway, when I went to the receiving line, the bride looked me up and down and said "Oh, do you think you're the bride?" and I said "I'm sorry?" and she said "Why are you wearing a veil? Well, it wasn't a veil and I told her that it was far from a veil . I thought it looked pretty w/my outfit.

So, we progress to dinner. We're in the basement of a fire hall-type place. The low ceilings, metal support posts, etc. My date kept saying "Welcome to my rec-room". Anyway, they called people up for the buffet dinner, which was served on the cheapest, flimsiest paper plates you've ever seen. Styrofoam cups and plastic flatware accompanied it. Well, the food was all ice cold. Cold mashed potatoes, cold veggies, cold roast beef, etc. I think that it came to the reception cold and nobody ever bothered to heat it up. When the bride heard someone say that their food was cold, she starts yelling "It's not f-ing cold, you're just f-ing stupid and f-ing ignorant!" I am totally stunned. Everyone at our table agreed that the food was not heated at all.

So, you know how people tap their flatware on the glass to get the couple to kiss? People were tapping the sugar spoons (right from the sugar bowl and the only metal flatware to be had) on their beer bottles to get the couple to kiss. The bride looks up and gets this nasty look on her face and gives everyone the finger!!!!! Just holds it up over her head and moves her hand around so everyone could see. I was TOTALLY speechless. I mean, if she didn't want to do this "tradition", she should have said something beforehand. I'm thinking "niiiice". So, the wedding goes on and it's time to throw the bouquet. The bride's mother can't find the tossing bouquet and the bride is screaming at her, dropping the f-bomb every other word, etc, saying it was her only responsibility that day and how could she screw something so small up. So, one of the bridesmaids offers her bouquet to toss and the bride starts screaming at her "If I f-ing wanted to toss your f-ing bouquet, I f-ing wouldn't have f-ing given it to you!" I'm thinking "yikes, I'd dump her as a friend!". So, she throws the bridesmaid's bouquet and who catches it?! Yes, me. The bride marches right over and says "Now you have to give it back to Joan!" Like I really wanted it?! I walked right over to Joan and said "Here is your bouquet" and Joan said "I don't want it!" and I said "Well, neither do I, but you better take it or she'll be on your back about it". Can you even imagine?!?!

So, as the evening progresses, the bride decides to exit the wedding ceremony. She comes back a half hour later dressed in a red dress to dance to "Lady In Red" w/her husband. Well, the dress looked like she bought it from Frederick's of Hollywood -- all lace, handkerchief pleats, ribbons, etc. The ugliest dress I have ever seen. So, they dance and then she leaves again ... to change back into her wedding gown. I was like "What!?"

I have never been to a tackier wedding. I was astounded that the bride would be so offensive on her wedding day!!!!

 

[disykat]

Not a red-neck wedding ... but a wedding from hell ...
!

I'd definately call that a redneck wedding. Wow!

 

[BostonTigger]

Not a red-neck wedding ... but a wedding from hell ...

If I had gone to that wedding and I would have left after to first F bomb.