Reconnect W/ Friends After A Tragedy

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Inspired by another thread about how to reconnect with old friends.

Have you ever reconnected with old friends after a tragedy?

Recently heard that a good friend from grade school lost her younger sister to suicide.

I haven't spoken to this friend in over 17 years. I've thought about her often, tried looking her up on facebook (she's not on there), but that has been the extent of it.

Since her sister's suicide, one mutual friend, who also hasn't spoken to her since school, found her number and called her. She said they had a nice talk and that the friend seemed grateful for the concern. I'm glad they spoke to each other and could support each other.

But I began thinking how I may feel in her situation. How would you feel if you were dealing with such a tragic loss in your family and people from your past began calling and offering sympathy? After all the years. Would you be grateful or would you be offended that they did not bother to reconnect sooner?

 

[AKL_Megs]

Inspired by another thread about how to reconnect with old friends.

Have you ever reconnected with old friends after a tragedy?

Recently heard that a good friend from grade school lost her younger sister to suicide.

I haven't spoken to this friend in over 17 years. I've thought about her often, tried looking her up on facebook (she's not on there), but that has been the extent of it.

Since her sister's suicide, one mutual friend, who also hasn't spoken to her since school, found her number and called her. She said they had a nice talk and that the friend seemed grateful for the concern. I'm glad they spoke to each other and could support each other.

But I began thinking how I may feel in her situation. How would you feel if you were dealing with such a tragic loss in your family and people from your past began calling and offering sympathy? After all the years. Would you be grateful or would you be offended that they did not bother to reconnect sooner?

I would offer the support, and wouldn't be offended if someone offered it. You KNOW her, you heard of the terrible news, and you want to offer support.

 

[ilovejack02]

I reconnected with the family of a childhood friend about 4 years ago when I found out he passed away. I had not spoken with them 22 years, but we were very close as kids .
They were very happy to hear from me.

 

[mtomlin66]

I have recently experienced a slightly different situation. I lost my father about 7 weeks ago. Although we knew he was terminal, it happened much sooner than his doctors or our family expected. We saw and heard from many people who we had not seen in many, many years - old neighbors, childhood friends, former classmates, etc. It deeply touched my entire family. The fact that each of these people took the time to call, write, visit or attend the funeral meant so much to all of us.

I don't know if the difference in circumstances would make your friend respond in another way. However, I would encourage you to make contact. If it is not something your friend can handle at this time, you will probably be able to tell within the first few minutes of your conversation. To be honest, if she is not looking to interact with others you will probably not even get through to her as she will be screening her calls.

HTH

 

[dicar123]

All of the women in an old e-mail loop of mine contacted me after my son died. It had been a really rough day and to see all those loving messages was incredibly touching.

I'm sure she would appreciate hearing from you.

 

[DutchsMommy]

I have a group of girldfriends that I now meet with at least a few times a year for a special girls weekend. This is directly related to the tragedy of one friend losing her son at a very young age and us pulling together to try and give me some strength and solidarity after the tragic accident which took his life. I think it is always worth offering your sympathy.

 

[pilotwife_02]

I know that after DH lost his brother a couple years ago to cancer a few friends from HS that he lost touch with contacted him. It meant a lot to him that people went out of their way to contact him and share their special memories of his brother.

He even still keeps in touch with a few of these people to this day.

I think it's nice to offer sympathy and I don't think it's intrusive at all. If you don't feel comfortable calling, perhaps you can write a nice card and put your email/phone number it and let her make the first move to contact you further.

 

[Hedy]

I have recently experienced a slightly different situation. I lost my father about 7 weeks ago. Although we knew he was terminal, it happened much sooner than his doctors or our family expected. We saw and heard from many people who we had not seen in many, many years - old neighbors, childhood friends, former classmates, etc. It deeply touched my entire family. The fact that each of these people took the time to call, write, visit or attend the funeral meant so much to all of us.

I don't know if the difference in circumstances would make your friend respond in another way. However, I would encourage you to make contact. If it is not something your friend can handle at this time, you will probably be able to tell within the first few minutes of your conversation. To be honest, if she is not looking to interact with others you will probably not even get through to her as she will be screening her calls.

HTH

Same here.

 

[amyy]

If it was a true friend from the past I would be so grateful. Several years ago my father died of a heart attack and then awhile after that my mother went into a coma. I was besdie myself-no siblings, husband etc. I think I am the one who reached out to her and she came to the hospital in the middle of the night and sat with me. That is what true friends do and time doesn't take that away. And now her daughter wil be the flower girl in my Disney wedding this summer

Reach out, it is the right thing to do.