Recently lost my dad, have trip planned for December

[cinda-wella]

Hello all. My dad (56) & I were very close, and he passed away Sept. 21st pretty unexpected although he was in the throws of diabetes complications. Anyways, I have been in a pretty low mood lately..we already had this trip planned out so we could go to MVMCP. Dh already has the vacation time at work, and my kids are really looking forward to it, I am too, honestly it's one of the only things right now that does get me excited. The problem is I am having a hard time focusing & planning right about now. I did make a couple meal reservations before my dad passed, and we know where we are staying. I feel like I am going to forget something with the planning....At this point I feel like I am going to be lucky if I remember everyones clothes

Is it a mistake to be going? I feel like its what I need , but like I said, I feel like a mess as far as preparing to go...

Can I just show up and let Disney Magic take care of everything?? It would be nice to stop ruminating about would-haves and could-haves with my dad...

TIA!

me dh ds (10) ds (8) dd (2)

 

[Desnik]

I am so sorry for your loss.
I have a trip planned coming very soon and I am also having a bit of a hard time too. I was 13 weeks pregnant, and the baby died. This is the 2nd time this has happened(luckily I have 2 great kids!). But, I only have 1 ADR, and I find myself feeling lost when it comes to getting things together for this trip! I was packed, then had to unpack to remove all my maternity clothes. Then I had to shop and get somethings that actually fit me and start packing again! Everything is already paid for and the kids are really looking foward to it, otherwise I probably would've postponed till next year. I'm just so sad and not into anything lately. I'm hoping that just being there will cheer me up. Lord knows I need it!

I don't think it is a mistake to be going. I'm sure your dad would want you to be happy and will be smiling down on you and your family while you are having a wonderful time at WDW. At times like this we need a little break from reality and I think WDW is the perfect place for this! Don't worry about the planning and just take time to enjoy your family at the happiest place on earth!!!

 

[MinnieMommy]

Warm thoughts to both of you.

I don't think you'll know how you'll be until you are there. Just remember, if you need a break from all the "happy", it's ok.

I'll share what we did on our last trip. My great-grandmother died a few weeks before her 100th birthday. I've suffered some significant losses before and didn't think her death would affect me the way that it did. Anyway, when we were at WDW, every fountain we passed, we threw in a penny and said "thinking of you". By the end of the trip, I was smiling when I did it.

 

[momamy]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad on March 30th. The weekend he passed we had planned a special trip for my dd. We rescheduled it for 2 weeks later and i felt guilty going! But my daughter was so happy and for the first time in 2 weeks her smile fixed it all! i like to think that it was disney dust and my dad saying its ok to go on!

i say go and have a good time you and your family deserve it!

 

[pixidust princess]

I lost my father in Jan 2006 after finding out in November 2005 that he had lung and brain cancer. We lost him so fast that it was nothing we could have ever prepared ourselves for. Shorly after his death, my mom brought up that one thing we never did when I was growing up was go on a family vacation. My brother (only 20) and I decided to take our mom on vacation. We spent 8 days at the AKL in July and had a wonderful time. We all thought about Dad a lot and talked about what he would have liked and what he would have hated. This vacation was a good break for all of us and it gave us something to look forward to during those difficult times. There were times when I did not want to do anything, even plan for a disney trip. I wish you the best, not only with planning your vacation, but with everyday life.

 

[Tink n Poohbear]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I say go, have a wonderful time, and take some "me" time to reflect if too if you need it.

My little brother was only 7 when my step dad passed away. We took him to WDW to help him take a break from the sadness. I could see it was a struggle for him at first. I think he felt guilty having fun, but towards the end he really did enjoy himself.

I know it's hard, but your dad would really want for you to go and have a good time with your family.

 

[SusanMomOf2]

God be with you. Make sure you have your dinner plans set (reservations made) and then think of the packing and smaller things as it gets closer to your trip. And plan when you feel like it.

I promise, as long as your bring clothes, some good shoes, toothbrushes, soap, and your wallets, you'll be fine. It's not that big of a deal unless you make it out to be. Disney can be so simple. Sometimes we can get so excited about it and think we need to have just every possible thing, but really, the only "special" thing we need are good shoes. You probably can pack for it the night before.

Take it easy and allow yourself to grieve and also to heal. In your own time. I pray you get the peace and strength and purpose you need.

Hang in there and do enjoy your trip!

Hugs,
Susan

 

[Disneymom2AA]

I hope you decide to go and really try to enjoy yourself. I really like the thought of throwing a penny into the fountains and saying "Thinking of You".

It might be nice to make some ADRs but taking a slower pace might also give you a more relaxed vacation.

Hope you have a magical time!!

 

[Steve's Girl]

I think your family really needs this time together. Maybe you could use TourGuideMike or a similar service to put a plan together for you. There are also packing lists, etc. available on various sites. I don't think you need the extra "job" of planning everything right now. Let someone else do it.

 

[ILVPoppins]

Both of my parents died in May of this year, 10 days apart. My mom mentioned planning a trip to WDW a couple of years ago, then she got sick. Last summer she wanted to give us money to take our 8 year old son, but she was so sick I was afraid to go that far. So this Thanksgiving in her and dads honor we are taking some of the money they left us and going. I know they would both be very happy to know what we are doing and will be smiling on us the entire time. I'm sure you dad would feel the same way. Have a good time in your dad honor.

 

[Syrreal]

cinda-wella, I'm sorry for your loss and I understand exactly how you are feeling. My dad passed away really unexpectedtly 2 1/2 years ago (i wasn't very close to my dad but my brother was super attached to him). I live in a different state than my parents and brother do/did and my mom, my bro, and I all felt guilty about possibly having fun while in the mourning period. I had to come back home and leave my mom and brother to deal with still being in the house and all. I encouraged them to take vacations and actually Disney was the 1st place they went about 2 months after. I also talked them into coming to visit me for Thanksgiving and go back to Disney for xmas. It does a world of good. Losing someone you're close to hurts so much but at the same time you have to remember that the person wouldn't want you to give up all happiness on their behalf.

About getting everything done, I would just make a list and put in on the fridge or somewhere you see every day. It doesn't have to be a huge list since you can add stuff if you think about it but it also makes it easier to be able to check things off and still know what you're missing. I get stressed when getting ready for any trip since DH is completely useless when it comes to packing (he's the type that if packing was left up to him I would have 17 panties for a 3 day trip and no bras and I would be lucky if he remembered to pack his deodorant and I woudl have none) and my massive lists always help.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I'm sorry for your loss. I think some time away from your everyday life might do some good. Let someone else, perhaps DH take care of the planning and packing. The "first's" after a loss are the hardest. Planning a new tradition can also help the healing process.

 

[minkydog]

God be with you. Make sure you have your dinner plans set (reservations made) and then think of the packing and smaller things as it gets closer to your trip. And plan when you feel like it.

I promise, as long as your bring clothes, some good shoes, toothbrushes, soap, and your wallets, you'll be fine. It's not that big of a deal unless you make it out to be. Disney can be so simple. Sometimes we can get so excited about it and think we need to have just every possible thing, but really, the only "special" thing we need are good shoes. You probably can pack for it the night before.

Take it easy and allow yourself to grieve and also to heal. In your own time. I pray you get the peace and strength and purpose you need.

Hang in there and do enjoy your trip!

Hugs,
Susan

This is so true. I'm sorry you lost your father. It seems a lot of us have lost fathers in the last few years. It's never easy. Like Susan says, just pack some good shoes and your toothbrushes. Make sure you have one ADR for dinner every day. Let the rest unfold. I imagine this trip will be bittersweet, but it doesnt' mean you wont have a good time. Feeling lost and unfocused if a normal part of grieving. It may take some time for you to feel like yourself again. You can't go faster than you're going. It will eventually get better. now, go and have a good time. Disney might be just what you all need

 

[rjmorno]

My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you're going thru. My dear father suddenly died August 15, 06 during emergency surgury just 2 weeks after a sucessful liver transplant. He was 55 years young. I am still reeling from it all. I am a pharmacist and was really involved in his healthcare. He and I were very, very close. It was such a shock, I still can't wrap my mind around everything that's happened.

My mom & dad had been planning a disney trip with my family for April, 07. Since dad passed, we decided to go during Thanksgiving 06 in honor of him. I felt extremely depressed (as still feel blue alot). I didn't want to go on this trip because he wouldn't be there, but my mother reminded me that this will be a healing experience for all of us. My children ages 7 and 5 were very close to their grampy, I want them to find joy and celebration after the sadness we've had over the last couple of month.

Enjoy yourself. I hope your trip will bring you peace. -Sincerly-Regina PI Maine

 

[shelly3girls]

I don't have much to add but just want to say I am sorry for your loss. We went to WDW months after I lost my dad suddenly. Seeing the children happy helped me through and I know my dad would have wanted me to have fun. It was definitely emotional at times especially certain things that reminded me of him. Just know you do not have to be happy all of the time, it is ok to be sad.

Desnik- I am also sorry for your loss. We went to WDW after our pregnancy loss last year. It took every ounce of my strength to go on the trip. I didn't want to go but I knew the kids would be disappointed. I enjoyed the trip although I had to try hard to have fun. We ended up bringing DS home as a souvenier, he is now 4 months old. I look at him every day and know that God had a plan even though I don't always understand it.