Really bothered with friens Catholic marriage class

[connorlevismom]

So my girlfriend is getting married in the Catholic church this year and is the middle of the classes they make yo take. Now, I used to be Catholic but left the church due to my disagrement with several teachings. Well, she was telling me today about her last two classes and I am really bothered by what they tell these people getting married. First off, I know that the Catholic church does not believe in birth control (which I think is ridiculous) so they had a Dr. come in and talk to them about it. He said that he does not give any of his patients BC because he said that "don't you know that your aborting a child every month that your on birth control pills?". I could not believe that a DR. would stand up there an say something like that. That is HORRIBLE! Then this week they had 3 couples come in to talk about being married. The class was able to write questions for the couples to answer. My girlfriend asked them what they thought about couple's who choose not to have children (her and her FH are not planning on having kids). These people stood up there and said that "if your not going to have kids, there is no reason to get married. That if you want to just hang out with someone, then don't get married because it is pointless. Getting married is for having children, that is it".

I am REALLY bothered by this (as she is) and I am just beside myself with people standing up there judging others like that. I have not been able to stop thinking about it since she told me about it.

Kristine

 

[NC State]

I too would be bothered; however, I'm not Catholic either. I can't believe that they think all catholics is going to do that!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I'm Catholic but I think those marriage classes are a bunch of bull. That doctor is a jerk. It sounds like her parish has a skewed view of things. I don't agree with every aspect of my religion but I think was just horrible. What if they couldn't have kids? What a buttwipe. DH and I did not get married in church for many reasons but if we had to listen to that crap we'd have walked out.

 

[connorlevismom]

I'm Catholic but I think those marriage classes are a bunch of bull. That doctor is a jerk. It sounds like her parish has a skewed view of things. I don't agree with every aspect of my religion but I think was just horrible. What if they couldn't have kids? What a buttwipe. DH and I did not get married in church for many reasons but if we had to listen to that crap we'd have walked out.

I asked her about that and she said that they said anyone who cannot have kids is off the hook, so to speak. That is GOD's way of telling them that kids are not in their "plan".

Kristine

 

[jenrose66]

I was married in the Catholic Church. Our marriage class wasn't preachy at all. It was more about our goals for marriage and having good communication, etc...very little religion involved. The only mention of BC was that they had pamphlets that discussed "natural family planning" and that they were available to us by request.

 

[kidzmom3]

well, did your friend really think that those things would go over well in a catholic marriage class? She chose to go there. She should be well aware of the church's stance on these issues. They are not quiet and or shy about expressing them vocally and in writing.

no all catholics agree, some pick and choose which doctrines to follow. Many catholics are more moderate, however those that run the pre-cana classes are very strict. These are the real rules of the catholic church and that is what they are going to teach.

just like driving schools tell you not to speed etc.... the actual real rules

 

[StrollPatrolMom]

I'm Catholic but I think those marriage classes are a bunch of bull. That doctor is a jerk. It sounds like her parish has a skewed view of things. I don't agree with every aspect of my religion but I think was just horrible. What if they couldn't have kids? What a buttwipe. DH and I did not get married in church for many reasons but if we had to listen to that crap we'd have walked out.

I agree...my DD was born before we got married and my priest actually told us he'd rather see couples not get married just because of a baby and wait and see that they are really well suited as a couple and not just parents.

Great priest, he passed away recently and I'd known him since I was a little girl...so the moral of the story is that not all Catholics feel that way.....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I asked her about that and she said that they said anyone who cannot have kids is off the hook, so to speak. That is GOD's way of telling them that kids are not in their "plan".

Kristine

Ooooooohhhhhh....I forgot they have a God hotline at the rectory. They pick up the golden phone to speak to Him and find out who can't have kids so it's okay then for them to get married. Duh! Lost my mind there! For real- many people don't know they can't have kids until they try. I guess there is a loophole.

 

[LaraK]

I actually liked my pre-cana classes. We did a weekend retreat. Although we thought we'd talked about everyting, we found a few subjects we still had not discussed.

The funniest thing was the thing that caused the biggest fight between the different couples...not natural family planning, not raising your kids in the church, but checking accounts.

 

[babytrees]

We had to take those ridiculous classes but they were one on one with the priest and 3 "meetings" with a mentoring couple. The mentors said "We don't care what you heard....use birth control if you want (they had 4 in 5 years...they loved them but..)" We always figured God had a different plan than us when I got pregnant while using 3 different forms of bc.

I am sorry your friend is going through that crap...and that is what it is.

 

[golfgal]

The Catholic teaching is that you will gladly welcome any children that result in your union. If no children are born, not really that big of a deal.

It sounds like they found all the extremists to teach their classes. I know some people like that however most Catholics are not.

In our old parish one of the Natural Family Planning instructors was a former nun who has never married--I always wondered about that one .

 

[Mkrop]

Our classes were not like that at all. Yeah they mentioned family planning but there was nothing more than this is what it is, no big deal. The part that creeped me out was being taught the sexuality class by my parents' good friends

 

[connorlevismom]

In our old parish one of the Natural Family Planning instructors was a former nun who has never married--I always wondered about that one .

Kind of like how my mom says your supposed to go to your priest for marriage counseling? Ummm how exactly would a priest know about marriage?

Kristine

 

[Nancy]

Our class wasn't like that either, while they did talk about natural family planning, no one was brought in to say never use birth control.

My DH and I went to the class because it was the only way we could get married in the church. We actually thought it was a waste of time. And to keep his parents happy we had to get married in the church.

I remember one couple talking about how when they were having their disagreements (not fights, disagreements because they never fought) they always started it with saying "I love you", held hands, and then said "I love you" when it was over.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The Catholic teaching is that you will gladly welcome any children that result in your union. If no children are born, not really that big of a deal.

It sounds like they found all the extremists to teach their classes. I know some people like that however most Catholics are not.

In our old parish one of the Natural Family Planning instructors was a former nun who has never married--I always wondered about that one .

Well, I guess her natural family planning is working!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Our classes were not like that at all. Yeah they mentioned family planning but there was nothing more than this is what it is, no big deal. The part that creeped me out was being taught the sexuality class by my parents' good friends

 

[connorlevismom]

Our class wasn't like that either, while they did talk about natural family planning, no one was brought in to say never use birth control.

My DH and I went to the class because it was the only way we could get married in the church. We actually thought it was a waste of time. And to keep his parents happy we had to get married in the church.

I remember one couple talking about how when they were having their disagreements (not fights, disagreements because they never fought) they always started it with saying "I love you", held hands, and then said "I love you" when it was over.

Oh man, you just reminded me of something else! In the NFP class they had a couple who said that before they "make love" they pray and invite GOD in to experience it with them.

Kristine

 

[jodifla]

So my girlfriend is getting married in the Catholic church this year and is the middle of the classes they make yo take. Now, I used to be Catholic but left the church due to my disagrement with several teachings. Well, she was telling me today about her last two classes and I am really bothered by what they tell these people getting married. First off, I know that the Catholic church does not believe in birth control (which I think is ridiculous) so they had a Dr. come in and talk to them about it. He said that he does not give any of his patients BC because he said that "don't you know that your aborting a child every month that your on birth control pills?". I could not believe that a DR. would stand up there an say something like that. That is HORRIBLE! Then this week they had 3 couples come in to talk about being married. The class was able to write questions for the couples to answer. My girlfriend asked them what they thought about couple's who choose not to have children (her and her FH are not planning on having kids). These people stood up there and said that "if your not going to have kids, there is no reason to get married. That if you want to just hang out with someone, then don't get married because it is pointless. Getting married is for having children, that is it".

I am REALLY bothered by this (as she is) and I am just beside myself with people standing up there judging others like that. I have not been able to stop thinking about it since she told me about it.

Kristine

It's disturbing, but not surprising. Some Catholic churches give a wink and a nod to their teachings, and some try to actually force the parishioners to follow their Middle Age teachings.

DH was Catholic, but he left the church over these teachings.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Oh man, you just reminded me of something else! In the NFP class they had a couple who said that before they "make love" they pray and invite GOD in to experience it with them.

Kristine

Let's set the scene shall we?
Young couple- pretty underthings, the moment is heated- drop to your knees-
start praying and asking God to join in!
Why not just have your parents call you too at that moment for good measure? Talk about NFP!


ETA- Maybe they meant something along the lines of "THANK YOU JESUS!!!!" ;-)

 

[disykat]

I'm not Catholic, so I know next to nothing about their beliefs. My understanding though is that the church's official stance is that sex is for procreation, period. While many (even other Catholics) disagree with that belief, I don't get how it is "judgemental" to teach their beliefs.