"Real" Dating?

[delikado]

I read this message on another message board I visit occasionally, and my best friend and I ended up talking about this last night. I was wondering what kind of responses this would get from the DIS Members...

I hear so much about the "just drinks" meet up. I can honestly say that I have never done this, and if a guy suggested meeting up for "just coffee/drinks" I'd assume he wasn't interested enough in me to really want to get to know me over dinner and bowling or something. What happened to the REAL dating? Why are we so reluctant to give away an evening of our time these days?

Personally speaking, I like the idea of doing this sort of thing for a first date, especially if it's a blind date. It takes a lot of pressure off the both of you, and if there isn't any connection, then you can gracefully make your exit after the first cup/glass... While I do like the idea of a dinner date, having a painfully dull date would make for one long night indeed

What do you all think?

 

[preshi]

I've met up alot for just drinks... I agree it makes it much easier to escape if they dont match with you... or you can extend the evening to bowling or something if you get along

 

[tater bug]

Interesting question. Since I've never been in a situation where I was asked out for drinks I can only imagine at my response. If it was someone that I was really attracted to it may be a let down but like Preshi said, drinks could turn into a longer evening. "Real" dating may also be a casualty of the times. Everyone is so busy getting where they are going (literally and figuratively) that we tend to schedule headaches. 1-2 hours for drinks in this fast-paced society is quite a chunk of time.

Now that my situation has shaken out the way it has, I'll volunteer to do some research....

 

[Margie J]

With blind dates or someone you hardly know I prefer the "coffee dates". It allows you both to chat easily with little time and money involved right away. You can always extend the time elsewhere or make plans for another date if things work out.

On the other hand, if I am asked out by someone I've known a while I prefer a regular date of some kind. That could be an activity, dinner, movie, etc. Before this we have probably had coffee/drinks/lunch together socially with other friends.

 

[disykat]

I can see how coffee dates would be easier to start, but I still tease my dh about asking me out to "lunch" for our first date. (It was a Saturday lunch - not because we had busy schedules or anything!) I felt like he was trying to invest less time and money -as well as avoid any chance I'd think he should kiss me! Kind of a "wimp date".

 

[Disney845]

I don't buy the idea that asking someone out to drinks or coffee means they don't want to invest too much time or money in you. If they felt that way why would they bother wasting any time with you at all. I think a "would you like to meet for coffee/drinks?" invitation is a very apropriate suggestion for two people who don't know each other very well. This way both the asker and the askee have a low key, no strings attached way to find out if they have enough interest in furthering the "date" onto dinner or some activity. I would not be put off by a man asking me to only have drinks, and if I enjoyed what I already knew about him (cursory looks/personality) I would probably accept his invitation (barring any other factors). After the initial coffee/drinks date I would probably assume that if the relationship was continuing on a romantic level that the date would increase to a prolonged period of time. However if after the first meeting we determined to continue seeing each other in a friendly manner (meaning no romantic connection) than meeting this person for coffee/drinks would be no different than meeting any of your other friends and I would look at it as such.

 

[isyne4u]

At this point I'd go for a "meet me at 7-11 for a refill" date!! lol!

If I were to ever have another date, I'd be okay with the coffee / drink thing. Because coffee can be pretty expensive if you go to starbucks or some place.

tar