Okay, as promised, heres a mini TR of sorts from our latest little vacation to ..
Panama City Beach, Florida.
The redneck capital of the world. Oh wait. Thats Georgia, isnt it?
Yeeeee Haaaaaw.
And no, I'm not cool enough to have a blog yet so I'm posting it here.
And yes, there will be references to rednecks, ZZUBing, unruly teenagers, John Candy, dancing shrimp, getting sunburned, Napoleon Dynamite, InLaws, pirates, clowns, mass quantities of cheerleaders, and eating way more seafood than the human body can digest. Hence the ZZUBing.
Just kidding. Or am I?
So if you are easily offended, have a weak stomach, or frankly, just have somewhere better to be, please feel free to skim. Its the latest craze, after all.
So heres the deal. My MIL and her husband have some good friends with a couple of condos in Panama City. Their friends offered to let them stay free of charge for one week down there and told them they could bring guests along if they wanted. They invited us to go with them. We accepted. Because were no dummies.
Since DHs birthday falls the day after Fathers Day, I suggested we go that particular week so DH would feel special and I wouldnt have to pay anything out of pocket to make him feel that way. Just kidding. Kind of. I did buy him presents too. And no, it wasn't a statue of ZZUB. That's all Mel.
Anyway, the friends apparently have an A list condo, which is very nice. Its right on the beach, brand new, beautiful view, high rise, a five star kind of a place.
And then they have the B list condo. Which is none of those things.
We were going to be staying at the A list condo until the guys daughter decided to go down the same week. So we got bumped. Understandably so. To the B Lister.
Now, if you have ever seen the movie Summer Rental with John Candy, you have seen the B Lister. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a tad, but Im still convinced the place hadnt seen the light of day since 1985. Or 1989 at least. The last time Marky Mark was there. The last time
I was there. For a graduation trip with all my girls. But not with Marky Mark. Cause apparently he starts riots the
cops wont even touch at Club La Vela.
But that's another story for another time and another place.
Anyway, Zs office is decorated better than the B Lister. There was silver metallic wallpaper with mauve accents in it and green shag carpet. The toilet broke the first day we were there and we ended up having to fix it ourselves. I say ourselves but I think we all know what that means. It means the guys fixed it. Okay, my step FIL fixed it. By himself. We (DH this time) replaced almost all of the lightbulbs in the place while we were there. We found the prototype for the modern day iron is still in existence and tucked away in a condo in Panama City, Florida. Its sitting right beside the very first washer/dryer combo ever manufactured. In history.
Although we were
slightly disappointed with the crib, we felt we had no right to complain since we were staying there for free. Yeah, were cool like that. DH and I found the humor in it and cracked joke after joke. MIL even got in on it after awhile. We made tons of ND references (theres one for every occasion) while my step FIL reminded us that we should never look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever that means.
Once we got the toilet fixed and the shock wore off, we were fine. We really didnt end up spending much time in the condo anyway. I do have to say that the actual resort where the condo was located was really cool. The place had an awesome Lagoon Pool. It was huge. Very nice. Mama like.
We spent most of our time there either in that pool
or on the beach
Yeah, thats the view from the A Lister. Which we visited. To torture ourselves. The B Lister had no view, remember? So no shots of that. But who needs a view anyway, right?
We ate seafood almost every night. Wait. What am I saying? Every night. We ate sea creatures every night. Maybe thats why Im still fighting the urge to ZZUB as we speak.
Oh yeah, and Sher? Mamas got your shrimp. This thing was called the Trinity Platter for Two. Complete with Dancing Shrimp on top. Well, honestly, they didnt dance. Not one bit. They basically just looked at me with their beady little eyes and grossed me out. But other than that, it was very good. And yes, ZZUB, if you're lurking, that
is sweet tea. We ordered it because we can do that down here.
Our firstborn child finally discovered there is more to a menu than just the kids meals and ordered snow crab legs or crab claws for almost every meal. We had to reign the boy in when he started mulling over whether he was more in the mood for the Twin Lobster Tails or the Mahi Mahi.
Continuing the Summer Rental theme, we ate at a Pirate Ship restaurant. Yep. We did. Complete with overage, balding pirates and food that just aint all that. But the kids got a couple of balloon animals on the way out so it was all good.
As we were headed out one night, I saw a sign that reminded me of someone I kinda like. Way up there in Canada. Who now has a blog. So I took a picture.
I took a picture after I made sure the In Laws were way up ahead of me. You know, so as to avoid the uncomfortable explanation that I had to take a picture of the sign because it reminded me of one of my many close cyber friends that I have secretly made on the internet while talking about how much we all love Disneyworld. Cause I love you all dearly, but when you say it out loud
..well, ya know. Yeah right. Like I'd ever say it out loud. Again.
And strangely enough, I saw something else on our trip that reminded me of another couple of Maelstromers. This print was actually hanging in a McDonalds restaurant. Where children congregate and eat. It was so freaky, my jaw dropped when I saw it. And I dont even have a thing for clowns. Yet. So I had to take a picture. For Lou. But mostly for Horsey.
On a lighter, much less creepy dee note, we found an awesome place to snorkel.
There is a state park there and they have a section roped off for swimmers. There are jetties circling the swimming section so the waves are almost nonexistent. There is also a shipping channel just beyond the roped off section which means the water circulating there is very cold once you get to a certain point. It was beautiful. It really was. The water was crystal clear and you could see forever. It was like a big pool with fish in it. The kids had a blast and so did we. We spent the whole day there and I think that was our favorite thing that we did the whole time.
DS snorkeled all day long. We couldn't get him out of the water. For a change. See, a couple of years ago on a trip to Destin, the boy was stung by a Portugese Man of War. He saw it floating up on the beach and thought it was beautiful. The electric blue color was mesmerizing to him. He was drawn to it and grabbed it. By the tentacles. Before I could form the word "No". The paramedics were called. He screamed for a really long time. We were all crying. It was just not a good day for the LaLas. He ended up being okay after a few hours but has been super cautious around the water ever since. But this was the first trip that he didn't hesitate and stand on the shore. He jumped in head first and had a blast. He had no cares in the world. Just the way a kid should be. Because after all, it's my job to worry. Not his.
It just so happens that while we were there, the resort was hosting a cheer camp. Yes. Cheerleaders. Everywhere. There were cheerleaders in every nook and cranny of that place. They were well behaved for the most part, but the pool and the beach quickly became more crowded than a bus bound for POR on an Epcot EMH night when they came around.
DD liked it though. Everytime she saw them she cheered them on.
Go Cheerweaders! was her slogan for the week.
Look at this. More dadgum cheerleaders was my husbands.
All in all, we had a blast. There were no computers there and I have to admit I had a hard time the first day or so going through DIS withdrawals. But after about the second day, the shakes mercifully stopped and I really started enjoying myself. And my family. We had a great time together and I was reminded of some things I already knew but had temporarily forgotten.
And since I dont feel Ive given you quite enough material to practice your skimming skills just yet, I will let you in on
Some Things I Already Knew But Was Reminded Of On Our Beach Trip
That my son struggles to overcome fears and that my daughter is completely fearless.
That my five year old swims like a fish.
That you should always reapply sunscreen after swimming.
That having a sunburn really stinks.
That yelling Turn it off, its a piece of crap! to my husband in my best ND voice will help to slightly diffuse the situation when a twenty year old iron leaks rusty water onto his shirt.
That laughter really is the best medicine.
That family time is the most important time.
That my SFILs driving makes me and DD feel the need to ZZUB in the backseat.
That Alaskan King Crab legs rock.
That you should never rub your eyes even with the back of your hand while eating Alaskan King Crab legs. Or spicy steamed shrimp.
How much I love the fact that my children can make new friends faster than they can say ABC
How much it tugs on my heartstrings to hear my daughter refer to a girl she just met five minutes earlier as mbest frand
How relaxing it is to bob around in a Lagoon Pool listening to a live band play the Eagles and Jimmy Buffett.
How it suddenly becomes not so relaxing to bob around in a Lagoon Pool listening to a live band play the Eagles and Jimmy Buffett once my husband decides to bail on me and head up to the room to relax, leaving me with both the kids and 6 of their new best frands to keep an eye on.
That although a crowded Disney bus is by far the best place to people watch and overhear interesting conversations among total strangers, a crowded beach on a hot day runs a very close second.
That even a Japanese family that doesnt speak a lick of English can look like a bunch of rednecks by bringing a mop bucket to the beach to build sand castles with.
That you should never buy flip flops at a dollar store.
That you get what you pay for.
That I absolutely detest when teenagers ride down the street, honk their horns, hang their heads out of the window and scream at passersby for no apparent reason.
That, because of that, I am now officially an adult.
That white sand and tall dunes are even more beautiful at sunset.
That walking on a beach at night, hearing the waves crash on the shore and watching the moonlight dance on the water really stirs my soul.
That my little family and the time we spend together is priceless to me.
And last but certainly not least, that you should never, ever look a gift horse in the mouth.
, it makes it just way cool.
haven't crossed paths in forever
I am not worthy. 
