RANT: I don't care if you want to sit next to your kids on the airplane

[LSUmiss]

Yes, but that doesn't mean that people don't make false accusations.

Look, your kids are much more likely to be abused by a relative or friend. That is just the way it is.

True. But it also doesn’t mean that I need to take unnecessary risks.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a child or parent of a child to feel uncomfortable with the sitting between 2 strange men

About 90% of child sexual assaults are committed by non-strangers https://www.wingsfound.org/pages/im-new-here/
"Reality: More than 90% of all sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator. Almost 50% of the offenders are household members and 38% are already acquaintances of the victims. Of perpetrators in state prisons, 1/3 had committed their crime against their own child and about half had a relationship with the victim as a friend, acquaintance, or relative.

Only 10% of child molesters molest children they don’t know."

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I disagree.

I agree with you. My child is grown, but I'm still a mother. In an emergency situation, I would always take care of a child & put them first. I'm sure there are non-parents out there who would do the same, but I can only speak from a parent's point of view.

 

[LSUmiss]

About 90% of child sexual assaults are committed by non-strangers https://www.wingsfound.org/pages/im-new-here/
"Reality: More than 90% of all sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator. Almost 50% of the offenders are household members and 38% are already acquaintances of the victims. Of perpetrators in state prisons, 1/3 had committed their crime against their own child and about half had a relationship with the victim as a friend, acquaintance, or relative.

Only 10% of child molesters molest children they don’t know."

I know that is the statistic, but I have always wondered if that had more to do with access.

 

[ronandannette]

It’s not that ppl “never miss a chance” but when you have had certain experiences,
you tend to be more cautious. I’ve seen things in my work experience that make me very cautious as a woman & extra cautious about who my child is around. It’s nice to live in a bubble where we can believe that most ppl are good, but that’s not always the case. Look at the me too movement. It’s disturbing how prolific it has been. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a child or parent of a child to feel uncomfortable with the sitting between 2 strange men. FTR, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s problem though, so plan accordingly if you want a certain seat.

The vast majority of people are good based on the percentage of people who actually commit crimes of any kind.

True. But it also doesn’t mean that I need to take unnecessary risks.

No, nobody should take unnecessary risks but by that definition, what would be left to actually do?

About 90% of child sexual assaults are committed by non-strangers https://www.wingsfound.org/pages/im-new-here/
"Reality: More than 90% of all sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator. Almost 50% of the offenders are household members and 38% are already acquaintances of the victims. Of perpetrators in state prisons, 1/3 had committed their crime against their own child and about half had a relationship with the victim as a friend, acquaintance, or relative.

Only 10% of child molesters molest children they don’t know."

This is TRUTH; and while it doesn't negate the horrible experiences of the other 10%, it should put fear into perspective.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I agree with you. My child is grown, but I'm still a mother. In an emergency situation, I would always take care of a child & put them first. I'm sure there are non-parents out there who would do the same, but I can only speak from a parent's point of view.

I’m also a mother and in an emergency situation I would not be putting someone else’s child first because I’d be too busy taking care of my own child. If I had the ability to tend to that child in addition to my own, sure, I would do my best, but only if doing so wouldn’t compromise what I needed to do for myself and my child. So, in a best case scenario, someone else’s child would be third in line of importance to me, which is a lower position of importance than s/he would be if s/he was seated with their own parent.

On the flip side, if I was the parent seated away from my child when an emergency occurred, you better believe I’m not going to stay in my seat and just hope some nearby adult will take care of him. I’ll be the crazed woman running down the aisle and climbing over seats to get to him, which is likely to cause more problems for everybody in an emergency.

I’d expect airlines wouldn’t be so lax about separating kids from their parents, if for no reason other than avoiding liability issues.

 

[china mom]

I fly Southwest exclusivly and we fly standby so we are always the last to board. We often sit apart and the kids are OK with that. This was even back when they were 8 and 10.

I would often get offers from people to switch seats so we could be together but I always declined because I would never expect someone to take my middle.

At the same time, I have seen frantic mother's throw a fit if someone doesn't move so thier teen can sit with them.

 

[Aliceacc]

It’s not that ppl “never miss a chance” but when you have had certain experiences,
you tend to be more cautious. I’ve seen things in my work experience that make me very cautious as a woman & extra cautious about who my child is around. It’s nice to live in a bubble where we can believe that most ppl are good, but that’s not always the case. Look at the me too movement. It’s disturbing how prolific it has been. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a child or parent of a child to feel uncomfortable with the sitting between 2 strange men. FTR, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s problem though, so plan accordingly if you want a certain seat.

Well, for starters, there is no need to accuse others of "living in a bubble" simply because their life experiences or opinions don't match yours.

And I agree: the easy way to prevent your child from sitting next to a strange man is to book with a carrier that will let you choose seats, and then choose a window for your child and a middle for you. Problem solved.

 

[maxiesmom]

[QUOTE="TipsyTraveler, post: 59390617, member: 500119"

I’d expect airlines wouldn’t be so lax about separating kids from their parents, if for no reason other than avoiding liability issues.[/QUOTE]

Well, kids can fly alone as young as 5. So I'm guessing liability is not really a concern.

The way to handle it would be to not allow the purchase of flights with a child unless there is assigned seating, and those seats can be purchased next to each other. No buying seats that are not next to each other and asking people to trade. No buying tickets on Southwest.

 

[ronandannette]

...I’d expect airlines wouldn’t be so lax about separating kids from their parents, if for no reason other than avoiding liability issues.

I agree completely with this; to the point that my cynical side thinks it's part of some sinister plot to milk more money out of passengers for assigned seating. It cannot be impossible for them to: a) know the ages of the passengers they are assigning seats to; and b) make sure no child under the age of 5 is seated without a flight companion in an adjacent seat. It couldn't be all that tough an algorithm to devise. And for the occasions when a passenger needs to get bumped to accommodate a necessary seating re-assignment, they could shuffle around the non-extra-fee passengers, which the ticket contract says they reserve the right to do. We've had it happen at check-in or at the boarding gate for whatever reason - usually it's one of our middle seats getting changed to a window or aisle elsewhere on the plane if we've chosen two together. I'm now assuming those were incidents where the airline was trying to keep a party together for whatever reason (we're fine with it btw, we often choose to sit separately in aisle seats anyway).

For the PP that commented about unaccompanied minors, that's a bit of a different situation. The airline is accepting responsibility for them; sometimes there is even an extra fee, and ostensibly the in-flight crew are supervising and assisting them as needed. NOT the case when a kid is seated seven rows away from a parent.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So someone on here confirmed for fact that the mom did not have an emergency, get bumped from her original flight, or otherwise something out of her control resulted in her being placed away from her child? Someone confirmed for a fact she was cheap and trying to cheat the system?

I feel the same way. I'm a happier person when I assume the best about people. It really has nothing to do with them. Whether it's true or not, I will simply feel better if I go with the "Aw, that poor family was bumped" explanation than the "Gosh, everyone is out to cheat me" explanation. I probably look way more unselfish than I am.

I don’t care how well behaved my kids are, the stranger next to them is not going to instinctively protect them and take care of them in the event of an in-flight emergency.

That said, I'm also a teacher, so if I was flying alone, the ingrained daily habit of watching out for children who don't really belong to me definitely would kick in. And I think that instinct is in a lot of people.

 

[tink1970]

And I think that instinct is in a lot of people.

Completely agree!

 

[DizneyMommy]

Well, kids can fly alone as young as 5. So I'm guessing liability is not really a concern.

The way to handle it would be to not allow the purchase of flights with a child unless there is assigned seating, and those seats can be purchased next to each other. No buying seats that are not next to each other and asking people to trade. No buying tickets on Southwest.

But those kids flying so young alone are identified as an unaccompanied minor and the FA is responsible for them. They know they are there alone and they need to tend to them, especially in an emergency. And you pay extra for that service on most if not all airlines.

A random child who gets stuck in a different row from his parents is not under the supervision of the FA or the airline, and they probably don't even know they are not next to a parent unless the parent points it out to them.

 

[Aliceacc]

Also, we've got to consider that in an emergency, that child sitting between Mother Theresa and Mahatma Ghandi (OK, neither is alive but you get my point) is STILL sitting between strangers in an emergency. While his seatmates may be ready and willing to care for your child, your child may very well be hesitant to ignore all those "Stranger Danger" talks and listen to that well meaning person trying to help him.

In a time of stress, there's no one like mom or dad.

 

[dish rag]

The stranger may be better able to help the child. The parent of course would be more willing. But many look like they would be unable.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I feel the same way. I'm a happier person when I assume the best about people. It really has nothing to do with them. Whether it's true or not, I will simply feel better if I go with the "Aw, that poor family was bumped" explanation than the "Gosh, everyone is out to cheat me" explanation. I probably look way more unselfish than I am.



That said, I'm also a teacher, so if I was flying alone, the ingrained daily habit of watching out for children who don't really belong to me definitely would kick in. And I think that instinct is in a lot of people.

I'm a human being, and the instinct to help a child in an emergency would kick in.

 

[sk!mom]

I’ll be honest, I did not even read the 53 pages of this zombie thread. But as a mom who flies with 3 kids, and as someone who would want any other parent to be as comfortable as I would want to be, the title of this post makes me sad.

We can all make the world a better place if we try to put ourselves in others’ shoes and have an ounce of compassion and kindness.

See you really should have taken the time to read a bit. Most responses have been of the “your failure to plan is not my problem” variety.

And as I may have said in the first round of this thread, holy over reaction. My refusal to give up my seat really isn’t world shaking or indicative of my level of compassion and kindness. Maybe I really need that seat and the mom is the unkind and entitled one.

Plus I posted that on two recent SW flights, I gave up my seat and switched to a middle for the compensation of free inflight drinks. Maybe offer me something if you want my seat. Clearly I can be bribed.

So someone on here confirmed for fact that the mom did not have an emergency, get bumped from her original flight, or otherwise something out of her control resulted in her being placed away from her child? Someone confirmed for a fact she was cheap and trying to cheat the system?

I don’t care how well behaved my kids are, the stranger next to them is not going to instinctively protect them and take care of them in the event of an in-flight emergency.

Hmmm, you are giving worst case scenarios when most parents who post here are generally questioning, “how
Likely are they to seat us together even though I didn’t pay for it?”

 

[DizneyMommy]

See you really should have taken the time to read a bit. Most responses have been of the “your failure to plan is not my problem” variety.

And as I may have said in the first round of this thread, holy over reaction. My refusal to give up my seat really isn’t world shaking or indicative of my level of compassion and kindness. Maybe I really need that seat and the mom is unkind and entitled one.



Hmmm, you are giving worst case scenarios when most parents who post here are generally questioning, “how
Likely are they to seat us together even though I didn’t pay for it?”

I guess I just don’t assume the worst in people until I see it. The OP did mention there was a major storm or something, that mom and her kid could have been with their whole family, got cancelled, slept in the airport, and had to take separate flights just to get home. Or their last flight was overbooked and they got bumped. That kiddo could have a major medical/mental health issue that Mom doesn’t want to tell the whole world about but needs to be there to tend to. You don’t know. As a special needs mom myself who meticulously plans our trips so that everything runs as smoothly as possible, crap happens and you can’t always control everything.

There is a quote that circulated quite a bit when Robin Williams passed away. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. We live this every day.

 

[sk!mom]

I guess I just don’t assume the worst in people until I see it. The OP did mention there was a major storm or something, that mom and her kid could have been with their whole family, got cancelled, slept in the airport, and had to take separate flights just to get home. Or their last flight was overbooked and they got bumped. That kiddo could have a major medical/mental health issue that Mom doesn’t want to tell the whole world about but needs to be there to tend to. You don’t know. As a special needs mom myself who meticulously plans our trips so that everything runs as smoothly as possible, crap happens and you can’t always control everything.

There is a quote that circulated quite a bit when Robin Williams passed away. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. We live this every day.

More worst case scenarios. And all issues that should be discussed and solved with airline personnel not left up to random strangers on a plane.

If a parent has legitimate issues as you mentioned, then first pay for assigned seats together. If that purchase goes arry due to weather or whatever, then let the airline know that you will have to wait for a reassignment that includes seats together. A parent who waits until they board and then starts trying to get someone to trade is Not taking their own issues seriously.

Just as we don’t know the circumstances of the person asking for the seat, they don’t know the circumstances of the person in the seat.

 

[maxiesmom]

But those kids flying so young alone are identified as an unaccompanied minor and the FA is responsible for them. They know they are there alone and they need to tend to them, especially in an emergency. And you pay extra for that service on most if not all airlines.

A random child who gets stuck in a different row from his parents is not under the supervision of the FA or the airline, and they probably don't even know they are not next to a parent unless the parent points it out to them.

The kids flying as unaccompanied minors are not watched every single minute. It is not at all the same as flying with a parent or guardian.