Random Thread & The Quest for the Golden Mickey

[AmandaSparks730]

Oscar: He trips underwater. Now who in the halibut trips underwater? And by the way, on what?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Shrimp: [trying to sob his way out of being eaten] Its true, its true! And the other thing is, my sister had a baby and I took it over after she passed away and the baby lost all its legs and arms and now its just a stump but I take care of it with my wife and... and its growing and its fairly happy... and its difficult because I'm working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table but all the love that I see in that little guy's face it makes it worth it in the end. True story.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Don Lino: [on phone with Oscar] Shut up? Shut up? You don't tell *me* shut up, I tell *you* shut up!
[hears phone dialing]
Don Lino: What?
Luca: Hi, how you doing? I'll have a large pie, everything on it...
Don Lino: Luca!
Luca: Oh... Uh, hi, Boss! What're you doing working at a pizza joint?
Don Lino: [shouts] Get off the phone!
Luca: But I'm hungry.
[hangs up]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Oscar: You dig, dawg?
Lenny: Dig dawg... , dawg dig, dig dawg, yeah, yo diggy dog!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Ernie: [pretending to be Lola, put mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face] You're a nobody!
Bernie: [pretending to be Oscar, also put mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face] No wait! Lola! I'm not a nobody! I'm a weiner!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Ernie: [on the phone] Syke's Whale Wash! You get a whale of a wash and the price... eh... is really, really low, considering how good the wash is.
Sykes: It's "oh my gosh!" "You get a whale of a wash, and the price, oh my gosh!"
Ernie: Got it!
[the phone rings, and Ernie answers it]
Ernie: Whale wash!
Bernie: Rhymes with gosh!
[both laugh]
Sykes: [chasing the brothers off] Get out of here, you two! Go be useless someplace else!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Bernie: [Ernie just lost at the "Sharkslayer" videogame] You're not doing it right! I told you!
Ernie: I'm doing it!
Bernie: X, circle, X X, double left square, right trigger down, square, square.
Ernie: Oh, double square! Respect!
Bernie: Respect!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Oscar: [answering the phone] Hello, who's this?
Luca: Hi, this is Luca the Octopu... never mind. Just listen up and follow these instructions, to the letter like. File cabinet, bottom drawer, there's a package...
[Oscar opens the package to find the necklace he gave Angie... ]
Luca: That's right, tough guy. We got your girl. Now there's gonna be a sit-down - be there if you don't wanna see her sleeping with the fishes...
[thinks this statement over]
Oscar: ...the DEAD ones! Now nod your head if you understand.
[Oscar nods his head]
Luca: Now tell me if you nodded your head.
Oscar: I nodded.
[Luca hangs up]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Shortie #1: You so broke your bologna has no first name.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Sykes: Now I have to pay Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him!
Oscar: How do you figure that?
Sykes: Simple - the food chain!
[Pulls out chart]
Sykes: On top there's Don Lino, there's me, there's regular fish...
Oscar: And that's me!
Sykes: No. There's plankton, there's single-celled amoebas...
Oscar: And then me!
Sykes: I'm getting there, I'm getting there... There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poop, and then there's you.
Oscar: That's messed up.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Oscar: Hi, I'm Oscar - you might think you know me, but you have no idea! Welcome to my crib - the good life, the way the other half lives! Check it out, I got my 60-inch high-def plasma TV with six-speaker surround, CD, DVD, Playstation and an eight-track for one of those days when you're feeling just a little weeka-weeka-weeka OLD SCHOOL, ha ha ha! Coz even a superstar Mac-daddy fish like me has to have the basic necessities!
Shortie #1: Yeah, like money!
[Camera zooms out to show Oscar standing in front of billboard ad]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

[Frankie starts humming the Jaws tune]
Lenny: That song gives me the creeps!
Frankie: What do ya mean? It's our theme song!
[the Jaws tune starts to play, and the opening credits roll]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Sykes: [on the phone, while watching Oscar slay Lenny on TV] I don't think you understand how huge my client is. Turn on your TV right now!
Sykes: [still on phone and Oscar has been eaten by Lenny] Turn off the TV! Turn off your TV!
Sykes: [still on phone and Oscar escapes Lenny's mouth] Turn on your TV! What are you doing turning off your TV? Turn it back on!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Sykes: Come on, snap your fin. Snap it. You're not snapping it.
Don Lino: I'm snapping it, I'm snapping it!
Sykes: That's okay, a lot of great whites can't do it, yo.
Don Lino: Yo?
Sykes: Yo, what's up?
Don Lino: What's up with what?
Sykes: Yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo-yo...
Don Lino: Hey, you say "Yo" one more time, and I'm gonna yo you.
Sykes: I'm sorry.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Shortie #1: Let's go make Mr Sykes puff up!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

[Don Lino gets wedged in a porthole while chasing Oscar]
Don Lino: [calling after Oscar] You're gonna regret the day you became the Shark Slayer!
[the Shrimp appears in another porthole]
Shrimp: Well, well, well... look who's stuck in the porthole...
Don Lino: Huh?
Shrimp: You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends!
[a bunch of shrimps appear and attack Lino]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

[while Don Lino talks to Sykes, the music record slips]
Don Lino: LUCA!
[Luca fixes the record, but accidentally sets it to play "Baby Got Back". Lino and Sykes stare at Luca, who quickly puts the record off]
Luca: Hey, boss... big butts. Ha ha.
Don Lino: Oy vey...

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Sykes: [about Lenny] Look, all I'm saying is the kid ain't exactly no killer!
Don Lino: My Lenny is a killer, you hear me? A cold-blooded killer! Look at him!
[Lenny wiggles around on a bar stool]

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Don Feinberg: He come out of nowhere, this guy. Calls himself...
[turns around with a flourish]
Don Feinberg: The Shark Slayer!
Don Lino: [behind him] Ira, over here...
[Feinberg turns to face Lino]
Don Feinberg: [makes the flourish again] The Shark Slayer!

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Definately coming down with something. Thanks for sharing, everyone.