Quitting a job...

[clori]

I was in my mid 20s working with adults with major developmental delays. We got a new boss who didn't understand it was different than working with adults who had some mental health issues. We just didn't seem to enjoy each other's company. I was working a part time job as well with benefits and in a roommate situation. I realized how unhappy I was at my full time job and gave notice. During that time I called a call company that was always hiring. I worked 6 weeks and realized that call center wasn't for me (nothing bad happened just wasn't for me) so didn't attempt to go from temp to perm.

At the same time my part time job offered me more hours for as long as they could. This got me through until I found a new full time job which pretty much coincided with getting engaged. I left my part time job after getting married. By then I was just tired of working 60 plus hours a week. We eventually moved and when I was touring the hospital or something before I had my second child. I was very surprised to see the boss from the job I quit in a nursing training program. I told my husband and ob if she showed up in my hospital room at any time I wanted her out.

 

[superme80]

I have a few times. The first was a job I enjoyed, but i could not stand the president of the company. The job became a literal soul sucker. Finally after my vacation I put my 2 weeks in. They wanted me to transfer to a different office, but I could not stand how the company as a whole treated people. The 2nd job I just didn't get along with my boss. Great guy, but our personalities clashed. Finally one day I looked at my husband and said "I'm done." I quit. Then 2 weeks later circumstances forced us to move about an hour away. Last time I quit I was pregnant with DS #1. I have been a stay at home mom ever since.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I quit my banking job to be a SAHM. DH received a big raise about halfway into my maternity leave, and it changed the numbers just enough that we could swing it. The budget was tight compared to now, but I loved that time!

 

[Nora03]

I quit a job when I was 51, but technically I, and everyone else had been layed off. The company was moving to another city. They wanted us work for nine months, train new staff and give them all our knowledge. We were just “out the door”, with no severance. I had worked there for fourteen years. I lasted six months and couldn’t take it anymore. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find another suitable position, and my DH has just retired, so I retired too. It would have been nice to work for a few more years as we used up a lot of retirement savings earlier than planned, but we’re not starving. If the transition had been handled differently, everyone could have left with a better feeling about the company. However they made a bunch of people mad, but saved paying out severance. The only person who did well was the CEO who sued and received two years salary.

 

[TavieP]

Have you ever quit a job without having something else lined up?

What pushed you to do so?

Yes - I had been promoted to my former (male) manager's job during the 2008 recession, during mass layoffs, and was told that once the economy was better and the company was 'back on its feet' I would be compensated appropriately.

Did the work at half the pay for 2 years, and then a man whom I had trained was promoted above me, and I went back and reminded my employers of their promise to me. They told me to "prove myself" (despite having consistently excellent reviews on file) and then they would "consider" giving me a raise to 60% of what my male predecessor made.

Took my stuff and left that day after 6 years with the company. Best decision I ever made.

 

[neverlandsky]

Quit almost 8 years with same retail company to become a sahm when youngest was born almost 13 years ago.

Thinking about going back into the workforce, yet beyond scared. I have the education. I’m loyal and a hard worker. I don’t have any references because I’m naturally an introvert and focus all my attention on family.

With DH, we’re preparing now for him to quit after 21+ years with same retail company. The constant restructuring, changed in values, 24/7 work expectations, stress, etc. is taking a toll. We’re both tired.

 

[GreatLakes]

When I was 16 and it didn't really matter much. I wouldn't do it now that I'm an adult with a family and responsibilities. I have a few colleagues I can call and have a job lined up in a very short amount of time so that is the route I'd take if I ever got that tired of my job.

 

[officerjudyhopps]

I did. I put my two weeks in on a Friday but then on Monday, went in and told my boss I was leaving at 9am. I packed my office, signed my exit papers, and left. My mental health was suffering and the second I walked out, I felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders. Great feeling.

I worked in a child support/alimony office and it was awful. Great money for a 22 year old ($42k). I’ve never had to deal with those things so I didn’t understand (on a personal level) what I was doing and how my decisions as a court officer were changing lives. On top of it, I was the youngest in my office. The next closest in age was 32! I cried every day in my car going to work.

3 years later, I work for a county prosecutor and love it. I’m making less than what I made before (same hourly rate but less hours). I’m not stressed, all of my coworkers are around my age, and I’m a working for my favorite college professor.

 

[Sleepy425]

When I was pregnant with my first son, I worked for a man who really had no moral compass. It was always hot in the office, and with all my personal protective equipment I was getting sick working. One day a patient had to help me get my lab coat off quickly because I started to get sick while someone else opened a door to let fresh air in (that day it was cooler outside than inside the office). My boss got mad, closed the door, and said right in front of the patient, "she's pregnant not special." I told my husband there was way I could keep working there. I gave my two week notice, and that very night my water broke prematurely and I never had to go to that hell hole again. It ended up being a good thing, since my son was in the NICU. I was able to stay home with him for a few months, and found a new job when he was 5 months old.
(The dentist wasn't just rude to me - one patient had a son with Down Syndrome, and needed to go pick him up at school. The son was very into routine and needed everything to happen right on time. My patient's appointment should not have been cutting it close AT ALL to get her son, but the dentist just would not come check her so she could leave. She waited so long I went into his office and saw him playing Solitaire, so I told him that she REALLY needed to leave to go get her son. His reply was "that's not my problem.")

 

[PollyannaMom]

When I was pregnant with my first son, I worked for a man who really had no moral compass. It was always hot in the office, and with all my personal protective equipment I was getting sick working. One day a patient had to help me get my lab coat off quickly because I started to get sick while someone else opened a door to let fresh air in (that day it was cooler outside than inside the office). My boss got mad, closed the door, and said right in front of the patient, "she's pregnant not special." I told my husband there was way I could keep working there. I gave my two week notice, and that very night my water broke prematurely and I never had to go to that hell hole again. It ended up being a good thing, since my son was in the NICU. I was able to stay home with him for a few months, and found a new job when he was 5 months old.
(The dentist wasn't just rude to me - one patient had a son with Down Syndrome, and needed to go pick him up at school. The son was very into routine and needed everything to happen right on time. My patient's appointment should not have been cutting it close AT ALL to get her son, but the dentist just would not come check her so she could leave. She waited so long I went into his office and saw him playing Solitaire, so I told him that she REALLY needed to leave to go get her son. His reply was "that's not my problem.")

What a jerk! Glad you got out.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

I quit my job in January without having another job lined up. I was there for over 20 years and the new CEO that was hired a few years ago is breaking the company. My boss, the CFO, quit very suddenly late last year. I was having so much stress & anxiety that it was affecting my health. I discussed quitting with my DH and he was very supportive. I am grateful that DH has a job with great pay and benefits so I don’t have to work. Also we are at the age where we have accumulated savings and our DD is almost done with college (one semester left!). I wouldn’t have been able to do this when we were younger. I’ve really enjoyed this time off to decompress; I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started feeling better. My plan for now is to enjoy the rest of the summer and then look for a part-time job in the Fall. I’m too young to retire full-time just yet!

 

[aprilgail]

When I was younger I certainly did- a few times LOL- one job I got I started and at lunch time I went out to my car for lunch and it hit me that I really did not like that job, I drove away and never went back! Another time the place I worked with was mainly male, and the boss (a guy) decided that since I was female that it would be me and the other girl there that had to clean the girls AND the guys bathroom- now I would not have minded keeping my own bathroom clean since there were only 2 females there but there was no way in hell I was going to be a janitor and clean the guys bathroom too! It was an office job, not a maintenance job! As soon as they told me to clean the guys bathroom I said that is it I quit and I left. Another job I wanted a day off for a friends wedding and they said no so I said I quit. Those jobs were a dime a dozen though, the next day could have another job- once I got a good union job no matter how much I wanted to quit I didn't because I knew that at 50 I would be retired collecting a pension and I would not throw that away.

 

[lovin'fl]

I am resurrecting this thread because it applies to an issue I am having and I don't want to start a new thread. Kind of want to hide among this thread, LOL. My DH has a demanding career. It pays well and there is high demand for people who can do it so he is always being recruited and can find a job almost anywhere. I have mostly been a SAHM so he could focus on his career (I took care of almost everything domestic while he worked hard). Anyway, DH has switched companies (many times moving us out of state) a lot. In 22 years, he has worked for about 7 companies (a couple of them more than once) in 4 states (we even moved in and out of same state more than once). We have had 10 addresses. He averages about 2 years per time at a job. Early on the job moves would get him a higher salary but the past couple were lateral moves.

I won't go into detail but the last job move was almost 4 years ago. Long story but it was tough and we had to move states too (this is his third time working at this company). It was against my wishes and he promised it to be the last job until retirement. But now he's back to looking at job listings and talking to recruiter. I was not interested at all until he mentioned a job closer to our old home, where family is and closer to where our two DDs go to college, and it would be a jump up in job and salary (to a VP position). I was very slightly open to it. Then next thing I know that job is out and another job is in and it's even farther away, 10 hours from here and 18 hours from our two college kids. And it's another lateral move. I said, nope, that's out and he agreed. It seemed to register that it's not worth it for a lateral move. We also had both our moms have medical issues recently that DH agreed with me that it would have been nice to still be close to home since we were needed so much the past few months. I had pointed out that possibility back when he wanted to take this current job and he poo pooed it because his parents had been healthy and only mine had issues. Well then his mom was diagnosed with cancer in the fall and he seemed to realize how I felt about needing to be close.

So I thought, okay good, that's done. He gets it and will drop the talk about switching jobs and moving. Nope. Now he's doing the stuff he did back when I didn't want him to take this current job. He started working all hours. He'd eat dinner and go in his home office about 8pm and work until 2am and then come to bed noisily and wake me up and then he'd wake up at 4-5am and again wake me up as he would go back in his home office and work. If I'd complain about him waking me, he'd snap "I can't help it, it's this awful job". He'd say he couldn't do things cause he'd have to work...in evenings and on weekends, no matter when. And he'd walk around all moody and grumpy and snap that his job was just miserable and unbearable. Finally I said....'whatever, if you need to switch jobs, fine, whatever, do what you want'. He made life so miserable. I tried to ignore and the more I'd ignore the more miserable he'd make things. Well, he's starting that crap again. He came home mad on Friday and claimed they took away his underling (assistant/support, not sure what he was called) during a demanding project that his CEO was needing done. So now he 'has to work 24/7 to get done what's needed and requested by the CEO'. And they are throwing other stupid projects at him on top of that. So he's back to going in the home office all hours to 'get the work done'. And walking around all grumpy. Since Friday. So I know it will continue until I give in and say 'fine, interview for that new job'.

I am tired of the moving. And NOT for more pay. Like ***. I have a suspicion on why he does this...I think he can't stand when things are settled and calm so he needs to create change and chaos. We got all settled in the perfect townhome to grow old in. Our moms went through big health issues and we just got through all that and are settled again. We are about to take our two up to college and drop them off for another year. All we have on tap for the next several months is just chilling with the two of us and a couple trips. And he's now adding this drama. He's been at this job for about 4 years now, almost, and I think he's bored. It's like someone who has to move furniture around often and/or paint often. And it's getting to be too tiring to live with.

Any suggestions on how I respond to properly shut this down? The ignoring him, or even flat out saying NO, has him make things more and more miserable. (gosh, now realizing where my DS gets that from...he is same).

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

Yes, I certainly did. That place was like a snake-pit. I worked in a distribution department for a medical supply home delivery company.

They were trying to build the department from the ground up and had next to no clients. Many of us that got hired & started in a big group, had lots of variations that they told different people different things of what the job even was. They outright told some people it was a call center, they told other people we were going to be case managers over certain states, etc. In the end it was all BS.

They had this thousand pages backlog of clients that had used a similar service in the years past, and basically wanted us to telemarket these people to come to our company, 90% of these people discontinued the service because they are no longer on the treatment or medication.

The department had no clear direction, there was no daily quota to fill, there were no work volume perimeters, there was no trajectory, you were just constantly told you weren't doing enough, but they could never say what "enough" was. There were procedure changes by the hour, and then they would backtrack and change things back in the next 10 minutes. They didn't like it when some of us started making a "book" of the procedure changes, that we could refer back to and show them - This IS what you told us to do.

Their computer system was a homemade, hand coded system that went down for hours each week, sometime 3-4 days straight, but we were somehow magically still supposed to work, and just write everything down on scratch paper and transfer it all when the computers work. Several people had phone issues where their phone ports didn't work, so their extension wouldn't connect, so nobody could ever call them back, but just keep working....

The "manager" of the department had no degree, had no management training what-so-ever, his office was a constant party line of people b*tch!ng non- stop about other people. We would get new hires from temp agencies that would come for a few days and never come back. LOL, I vividly recall one guy said he had to go the bathroom, walked to his car and never came back. They would never ever hire the temps. They would keep them for 6 months, extend them another 3 months and then say their contract was up, never hired.

Very toxic environment. Huge stress ball everyday. Unrealistic things like coming out to us at 6:55pm and saying you must report at 7AM Tomorrow or you loose your job.......I had 3 small kids, daycare didn't even open until 7am, our core time was 10am-7pm......

 

[NYCgrrl]

I am resurrecting this thread because it applies to an issue I am having and I don't want to start a new thread. Kind of want to hide among this thread, LOL. My DH has a demanding career. It pays well and there is high demand for people who can do it so he is always being recruited and can find a job almost anywhere. I have mostly been a SAHM so he could focus on his career (I took care of almost everything domestic while he worked hard). Anyway, DH has switched companies (many times moving us out of state) a lot. In 22 years, he has worked for about 7 companies (a couple of them more than once) in 4 states (we even moved in and out of same state more than once). We have had 10 addresses. He averages about 2 years per time at a job. Early on the job moves would get him a higher salary but the past couple were lateral moves.

I won't go into detail but the last job move was almost 4 years ago. Long story but it was tough and we had to move states too (this is his third time working at this company). It was against my wishes and he promised it to be the last job until retirement. But now he's back to looking at job listings and talking to recruiter. I was not interested at all until he mentioned a job closer to our old home, where family is and closer to where our two DDs go to college, and it would be a jump up in job and salary (to a VP position). I was very slightly open to it. Then next thing I know that job is out and another job is in and it's even farther away, 10 hours from here and 18 hours from our two college kids. And it's another lateral move. I said, nope, that's out and he agreed. It seemed to register that it's not worth it for a lateral move. We also had both our moms have medical issues recently that DH agreed with me that it would have been nice to still be close to home since we were needed so much the past few months. I had pointed out that possibility back when he wanted to take this current job and he poo pooed it because his parents had been healthy and only mine had issues. Well then his mom was diagnosed with cancer in the fall and he seemed to realize how I felt about needing to be close.

So I thought, okay good, that's done. He gets it and will drop the talk about switching jobs and moving. Nope. Now he's doing the stuff he did back when I didn't want him to take this current job. He started working all hours. He'd eat dinner and go in his home office about 8pm and work until 2am and then come to bed noisily and wake me up and then he'd wake up at 4-5am and again wake me up as he would go back in his home office and work. If I'd complain about him waking me, he'd snap "I can't help it, it's this awful job". He'd say he couldn't do things cause he'd have to work...in evenings and on weekends, no matter when. And he'd walk around all moody and grumpy and snap that his job was just miserable and unbearable. Finally I said....'whatever, if you need to switch jobs, fine, whatever, do what you want'. He made life so miserable. I tried to ignore and the more I'd ignore the more miserable he'd make things. Well, he's starting that crap again. He came home mad on Friday and claimed they took away his underling (assistant/support, not sure what he was called) during a demanding project that his CEO was needing done. So now he 'has to work 24/7 to get done what's needed and requested by the CEO'. And they are throwing other stupid projects at him on top of that. So he's back to going in the home office all hours to 'get the work done'. And walking around all grumpy. Since Friday. So I know it will continue until I give in and say 'fine, interview for that new job'.

I am tired of the moving. And NOT for more pay. Like ***. I have a suspicion on why he does this...I think he can't stand when things are settled and calm so he needs to create change and chaos. We got all settled in the perfect townhome to grow old in. Our moms went through big health issues and we just got through all that and are settled again. We are about to take our two up to college and drop them off for another year. All we have on tap for the next several months is just chilling with the two of us and a couple trips. And he's now adding this drama. He's been at this job for about 4 years now, almost, and I think he's bored. It's like someone who has to move furniture around often and/or paint often. And it's getting to be too tiring to live with.

Any suggestions on how I respond to properly shut this down? The ignoring him, or even flat out saying NO, has him make things more and more miserable. (gosh, now realizing where my DS gets that from...he is same).

No idea if this will "shut it down" but it sounds like couple counseling would be a good idea.
Wishing you the best.

 

[cabanafrau]

No idea if this will "shut it down" but it sounds like couple counseling would be a good idea.
Wishing you the best.

Agreed. If nothing else I believe a counselor will be able to express to him some objective information about his culpability in the constant souring of his employment situations, as well as the unfair burden placed on the spouse. It seems rather obvious he needs to recognize the existence of a perspective other than that he surveys beyond the end of his own nose.

 

[DawnM]

Yes, but both times I was married and my DH had a job we could live off of for a while.

 

[nkereina]

I am resurrecting this thread because it applies to an issue I am having and I don't want to start a new thread. Kind of want to hide among this thread, LOL. My DH has a demanding career. It pays well and there is high demand for people who can do it so he is always being recruited and can find a job almost anywhere. I have mostly been a SAHM so he could focus on his career (I took care of almost everything domestic while he worked hard). Anyway, DH has switched companies (many times moving us out of state) a lot. In 22 years, he has worked for about 7 companies (a couple of them more than once) in 4 states (we even moved in and out of same state more than once). We have had 10 addresses. He averages about 2 years per time at a job. Early on the job moves would get him a higher salary but the past couple were lateral moves.

I won't go into detail but the last job move was almost 4 years ago. Long story but it was tough and we had to move states too (this is his third time working at this company). It was against my wishes and he promised it to be the last job until retirement. But now he's back to looking at job listings and talking to recruiter. I was not interested at all until he mentioned a job closer to our old home, where family is and closer to where our two DDs go to college, and it would be a jump up in job and salary (to a VP position). I was very slightly open to it. Then next thing I know that job is out and another job is in and it's even farther away, 10 hours from here and 18 hours from our two college kids. And it's another lateral move. I said, nope, that's out and he agreed. It seemed to register that it's not worth it for a lateral move. We also had both our moms have medical issues recently that DH agreed with me that it would have been nice to still be close to home since we were needed so much the past few months. I had pointed out that possibility back when he wanted to take this current job and he poo pooed it because his parents had been healthy and only mine had issues. Well then his mom was diagnosed with cancer in the fall and he seemed to realize how I felt about needing to be close.

So I thought, okay good, that's done. He gets it and will drop the talk about switching jobs and moving. Nope. Now he's doing the stuff he did back when I didn't want him to take this current job. He started working all hours. He'd eat dinner and go in his home office about 8pm and work until 2am and then come to bed noisily and wake me up and then he'd wake up at 4-5am and again wake me up as he would go back in his home office and work. If I'd complain about him waking me, he'd snap "I can't help it, it's this awful job". He'd say he couldn't do things cause he'd have to work...in evenings and on weekends, no matter when. And he'd walk around all moody and grumpy and snap that his job was just miserable and unbearable. Finally I said....'whatever, if you need to switch jobs, fine, whatever, do what you want'. He made life so miserable. I tried to ignore and the more I'd ignore the more miserable he'd make things. Well, he's starting that crap again. He came home mad on Friday and claimed they took away his underling (assistant/support, not sure what he was called) during a demanding project that his CEO was needing done. So now he 'has to work 24/7 to get done what's needed and requested by the CEO'. And they are throwing other stupid projects at him on top of that. So he's back to going in the home office all hours to 'get the work done'. And walking around all grumpy. Since Friday. So I know it will continue until I give in and say 'fine, interview for that new job'.

I am tired of the moving. And NOT for more pay. Like ***. I have a suspicion on why he does this...I think he can't stand when things are settled and calm so he needs to create change and chaos. We got all settled in the perfect townhome to grow old in. Our moms went through big health issues and we just got through all that and are settled again. We are about to take our two up to college and drop them off for another year. All we have on tap for the next several months is just chilling with the two of us and a couple trips. And he's now adding this drama. He's been at this job for about 4 years now, almost, and I think he's bored. It's like someone who has to move furniture around often and/or paint often. And it's getting to be too tiring to live with.

Any suggestions on how I respond to properly shut this down? The ignoring him, or even flat out saying NO, has him make things more and more miserable. (gosh, now realizing where my DS gets that from...he is same).

You mention you have college aged kids, so I'm assuming no more need for a SAHM. Not sure if its a viable option for you, but have you considered going back to work so your DH can take a lesser job? Would he be open to that? If its a job he hates and can move into a less demanding job that is beneficial to the family, it might be a worthwhile thing to consider. Good luck!

 

[lovin'fl]

You mention you have college aged kids, so I'm assuming no more need for a SAHM. Not sure if its a viable option for you, but have you considered going back to work so your DH can take a lesser job? Would he be open to that? If its a job he hates and can move into a less demanding job that is beneficial to the family, it might be a worthwhile thing to consider. Good luck!

I don't really have a career so I wouldn't make enough to make it worthwhile. I'd be lucky to find a job making $12-15/hour. Last job was at least 10 years ago and like $8/hour.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I became unhappy with my Engineering job at XXXX XXXXXXXX when the began emphasising procedure over results. I never designed in a linear fashion as they wanted. My boss, XXX XXXXXXX, was a horrible drunk and drug addict. I arrived one morning to find a nasty email from him written at 3 AM. He called in "sick" that day. I told his assistant that I was taking my last 3 vacation days. After that I emailed my resignation. Put them into quite a panic I heard. I had enough money to get by.

I know you wrote this in May, but I just saw it. I have Xd out your former boss's full first and last name and place of employment in my quote so if you think better of it and want to delete it in your post it will be gone.
I get that he was a total jerk and you hated him, but I still think posting his full name and employer in a post acusing him of being an addict, etc is wrong and want to suggest you change/delete it. Maybe you were not really thinking about what you were posting and where when you wrote it?

((I hope I do not come across as preachy here, I do not mean to, it just seemed off, but also like the kind of thing posted in the moment and not really thought about))